Before I Wake
Page 88
He lowered me to the bed, and my heart raced, and only when he stood to pull his shirt off did I realize we were no longer in my room. Or anywhere else in my house. I propped myself up on my elbows and lifted both brows in question, and Tod shrugged with a wicked smile. I respect your dad too much to do this under his roof, but I love you too much not to continue this under my own.
We promised not to I started, but then he crawled onto the bed with me and I ran my hands over his stomach. I couldnt help it.
You promised. I never promised. Besides, I told him Id probably make more mistakes. But my hands are in the right place.
Heart, I corrected. Your hearts in the right place.
Yeah, but my hands are in an even better place.
And so they were.
19
BY SOME MIRACLE, no one noticed us missing, and when we blinked back into my room an hour later, everyone else was sound asleep. So Tod and I borrowed some of my dads DVDs and we watched a Predators marathon on my laptop, curled up together on my bed.
In the morning, my dad made good on his threat to take the first shower, then he started frying bacon. I pitched in with the pancakes while Tod fried eggs, and the morning was off to a surreal start.
Em woke up at a quarter to eight and started to panic over the late hour. Shed woken up both Nash and Sophie before my dad could explain that no one had to go to school. Which was news to me, too.
Were taking the day off, he announced from the kitchen doorway, wielding a greasy spatula and wearing the apron Id given him for his birthday. Since Avari showed up at school, Im deeming the campus unsafeat least for the moment. He, Uncle Brendon, Harmony, and Madeline had called in sick for me, Sophie, Nash, and Luca. Then my dad had used his Influence over the phone to get the attendance secretary to write in medical absences for both Sabine and Emma.
Today, were spending the day at the lake, my father said. All together, for safety in numbers, to make sure that what happened to Alec wont happen to any of the rest of us.
Tods hand slipped into my grip and squeezed. He was reminding me not to blame myselfnot to let Avari benefit from what hed donebut that was hard, because Avari hadnt done it alone. Id helped.
Doesnt that seem kind ofcold? Em asked. Taking a day off to go to the lake when Alec hasnt even been buried yet?
My father nodded and set his spatula on the counter. When he turned to face us again, I read confliction in his frown lines and determination in the smooth swirls of color in his eyes. I know most of you are probably very upset over Alecs death. As am I. Thats how I know that the temptation to mourn him is overwhelming, and thatsnormal.
I never even met him, Sophie mumbled, and Sabine shoved her in the shoulder, a wordless warning to shut the hell up and respect the dead.
But today should be about celebrating his life and remembering what he meant to those of us who knew him. Thats what hed want, and thats exactly what Avari and his hellion pals will not want, and this is a really good chance to piss them off. My father glanced at me then, and I was surprised to see a hint of a smile haunting the corners of his mouth. Also, today is Kaylees birthday.
Oh, shit! I said, and my dad frowned at me. Seventeen and dead, and I still wasnt allowed to cuss in front of him. I forgot about my birthday. Again.
Well, I didnt. I rented one of the picnic areas at the lake. Harmonys going to meet us there at eleven with burgers and hot dogs, cupcakes, and enough brownies to exhaust the worlds supply of cocoa powder for a month. Were bringing chips, soda, buns, and this very spatula. He picked up the spatula on the counter for emphasis. So, everybody get up, deflate your air mattresses and roll up your sleeping bags, take showersone at a time, pleaseand get dressed. Foods on the bar. Serve yourselves.
Can I invite Jayson? Emma asked, and my father glanced at me, deferring to my judgment. Because it was my party. Evidently.
I shrugged. Sure. Thered be plenty of room at the lake to avoid the one human who wasnt supposed to hear about the basket of crazy trauma my life had become.
While Sabine, Em, and Sophie argued over bathroom access, Tod snagged a slice of bacon and pulled me aside. Im gonna go shower at my place to save time, he said. Ill be right back. He kissed me, and I took a bite of his bacon. Happy birthday.
But instead of blinking out of the kitchen, he dropped onto the couch next to Nash, and I had to strain to hear them over the three-way girl-squabble in the hall. Did you know it was her birthday?
Of course, I knew, Nash said, meeting the reapers gaze boldly.
Why didnt you tell me?
Why didnt you not-steal my girlfriend the day before she died?
I sighed and went into the kitchen for another slice of bacon. Some things were just going to take a while.
* * *
We didnt actually make it to the lake until nearly noon, and by the time we got there, Harmony already had charcoal stacked like a pyramid in the grill attached to the covered picnic area my dad had reserved. This is how my husband used to do it, she said when my dad approached wielding a spatula and a set of tongs. But thats as far as I go. The grills all yours.
We promised not to I started, but then he crawled onto the bed with me and I ran my hands over his stomach. I couldnt help it.
You promised. I never promised. Besides, I told him Id probably make more mistakes. But my hands are in the right place.
Heart, I corrected. Your hearts in the right place.
Yeah, but my hands are in an even better place.
And so they were.
19
BY SOME MIRACLE, no one noticed us missing, and when we blinked back into my room an hour later, everyone else was sound asleep. So Tod and I borrowed some of my dads DVDs and we watched a Predators marathon on my laptop, curled up together on my bed.
In the morning, my dad made good on his threat to take the first shower, then he started frying bacon. I pitched in with the pancakes while Tod fried eggs, and the morning was off to a surreal start.
Em woke up at a quarter to eight and started to panic over the late hour. Shed woken up both Nash and Sophie before my dad could explain that no one had to go to school. Which was news to me, too.
Were taking the day off, he announced from the kitchen doorway, wielding a greasy spatula and wearing the apron Id given him for his birthday. Since Avari showed up at school, Im deeming the campus unsafeat least for the moment. He, Uncle Brendon, Harmony, and Madeline had called in sick for me, Sophie, Nash, and Luca. Then my dad had used his Influence over the phone to get the attendance secretary to write in medical absences for both Sabine and Emma.
Today, were spending the day at the lake, my father said. All together, for safety in numbers, to make sure that what happened to Alec wont happen to any of the rest of us.
Tods hand slipped into my grip and squeezed. He was reminding me not to blame myselfnot to let Avari benefit from what hed donebut that was hard, because Avari hadnt done it alone. Id helped.
Doesnt that seem kind ofcold? Em asked. Taking a day off to go to the lake when Alec hasnt even been buried yet?
My father nodded and set his spatula on the counter. When he turned to face us again, I read confliction in his frown lines and determination in the smooth swirls of color in his eyes. I know most of you are probably very upset over Alecs death. As am I. Thats how I know that the temptation to mourn him is overwhelming, and thatsnormal.
I never even met him, Sophie mumbled, and Sabine shoved her in the shoulder, a wordless warning to shut the hell up and respect the dead.
But today should be about celebrating his life and remembering what he meant to those of us who knew him. Thats what hed want, and thats exactly what Avari and his hellion pals will not want, and this is a really good chance to piss them off. My father glanced at me then, and I was surprised to see a hint of a smile haunting the corners of his mouth. Also, today is Kaylees birthday.
Oh, shit! I said, and my dad frowned at me. Seventeen and dead, and I still wasnt allowed to cuss in front of him. I forgot about my birthday. Again.
Well, I didnt. I rented one of the picnic areas at the lake. Harmonys going to meet us there at eleven with burgers and hot dogs, cupcakes, and enough brownies to exhaust the worlds supply of cocoa powder for a month. Were bringing chips, soda, buns, and this very spatula. He picked up the spatula on the counter for emphasis. So, everybody get up, deflate your air mattresses and roll up your sleeping bags, take showersone at a time, pleaseand get dressed. Foods on the bar. Serve yourselves.
Can I invite Jayson? Emma asked, and my father glanced at me, deferring to my judgment. Because it was my party. Evidently.
I shrugged. Sure. Thered be plenty of room at the lake to avoid the one human who wasnt supposed to hear about the basket of crazy trauma my life had become.
While Sabine, Em, and Sophie argued over bathroom access, Tod snagged a slice of bacon and pulled me aside. Im gonna go shower at my place to save time, he said. Ill be right back. He kissed me, and I took a bite of his bacon. Happy birthday.
But instead of blinking out of the kitchen, he dropped onto the couch next to Nash, and I had to strain to hear them over the three-way girl-squabble in the hall. Did you know it was her birthday?
Of course, I knew, Nash said, meeting the reapers gaze boldly.
Why didnt you tell me?
Why didnt you not-steal my girlfriend the day before she died?
I sighed and went into the kitchen for another slice of bacon. Some things were just going to take a while.
* * *
We didnt actually make it to the lake until nearly noon, and by the time we got there, Harmony already had charcoal stacked like a pyramid in the grill attached to the covered picnic area my dad had reserved. This is how my husband used to do it, she said when my dad approached wielding a spatula and a set of tongs. But thats as far as I go. The grills all yours.
