Bite Me
Page 100
So youre going to pretend I didnt just say what I just said?
Pretty much.
Avoidance is still your friend, I see.
How else do you think Ive managed to survive with this family?
Youll have to face it eventually, Toni singsonged to her.
Youre gonna have to shut up, Livy singsonged back.
Toni put her arm around Livy, and placed her head on her friends shoulder. Im so very glad you didnt manage to get yourself killed.
Thats the nicest way to blame the victim Ive ever heard.
Im really good at that. So did Kyle ask Vic to pose naked?
Yes. But I cant blame the kid. The man has amazing cheekbones.
Jocelyn pushed open the door to her cousins bedroom and sighed. Help me, she ordered Jake and Shen.
Jake responded immediately, but Shen stopped in the doorway and stared. Is she dead?
No, Jocelyn said casually as she crouched down. Just drunk off her ass.
Another fight with the boyfriend she stalks? Jake asked.
No. Hes the stalked fianc now.
Maybe we should call an ambulance . . . or something.
Not necessary. Jocelyn stood. Just pick her up, Shen.
Pick her up?
Pick her up.
Sighing, Shen reached out and lifted Melly onto his shoulder. She seemed to barely weigh anything, and it was terribly easy. But then Jake said, If she starts squirming, drop her. Shes about to piss on you.
And if she grunts, Jocelyn added, throw her. Shes about to shit or projectile vomit.
Horrified, Shen practically ran to the room theyd set up for Melly. Easels and paints and the brilliant lighting from the above skylight made the room perfect for an artist. But he had a hard time believing the woman over his shoulder was an artist.
Stand her up for me, Jocelyn ordered.
Shen did, making sure to turn Melly away from him. Although he realized that might not actually save him.
Jocelyn stared at her cousin for several moments before pulling back her hand and slapping Melly in the face. The first time did nothing, but the second slap had Melly swinging fists and cursing.
Melly. Melly!
The honey badger stopped. Hey, Jocelyn. Whats going on?
We need you to work for a little while.
I dont feel like it. Melly searched her dress, which had no pockets. For her phone, Shen guessed. I dont understand how he cant love me.
Jake looked at Shenand rolled his eyes.
Well have to worry about that later, sweetie. Because I really need you to handle this right now.
Handle what?
Jocelyn held up a poster of an old Matisse painting that had been stolen from a Belgian art museum nearly ten years ago and never recovered.
Ohhh, Melly drunkenly sighed. Matisse. I love Matisse.
I know you do. Jocelyn nodded her head at Shen, and he released Mellys shoulders. Jocelyn began to walk backward, holding the painting up and Melly stumbled after her. Only you can do this, Melly. You know that, right?
Yep. I know. She waved her hand at Jocelyn. Pin it. Pin it.
Jocelyn pinned the poster to an easel and Melly stood in front of it. She stood. She stared. She weaved a little.
With a finger to her lips, Jocelyn gestured for the men to leave. Together, the three walked out, Jake silently shutting the door behind them.
Shen started to say something, but Jocelyn shook her head and indicated for them to walk down the stairs. Once they were on another floor, Shen asked, Are you sure we should leave her alone? She looks about to pass out again.
Shell be fine, Jocelyn said with absolutely no concern in her voice.
Shen wasnt so sure but . . . he wasnt about to go back and risk getting hit with all manner of disgusting things. He just hoped the family knew what they were doing since a lot of what they were planning hinged on a bipolar honey badger female with an obvious drinking problem.
Toni watched Vic open another jar of honey, put a spoon into it, and hand it to Livy. The cinnamon-infused.
Thanks.
Im going to go watch TV with Shen.
Ball game on? Maybe a little hockey?
No. Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon.
Of course.
Vic kissed her cheek and walked out, leaving the two females alone in the kitchen. They sat on the island, their feet hanging over the side.
Honey? Livy offered.
I hate honey.
What kind of demon hates honey?
So, how long before you admit to Vic that you love him, too?
Why dont you shut the fuck up?
Toni laughed. Oh my God. This is the best. I actually have something to torture you with. This is like heaven on earth.
Shut. Up.
Livys mother pulled the sliding glass door open and walked into the kitchen. Shed clearly been shopping, her hands filled with bags from stores like Chanel, Coach, and Saks Fifth Avenue. She stopped, though, when she saw Toni sitting next to Livy.
Pretty much.
Avoidance is still your friend, I see.
How else do you think Ive managed to survive with this family?
Youll have to face it eventually, Toni singsonged to her.
Youre gonna have to shut up, Livy singsonged back.
Toni put her arm around Livy, and placed her head on her friends shoulder. Im so very glad you didnt manage to get yourself killed.
Thats the nicest way to blame the victim Ive ever heard.
Im really good at that. So did Kyle ask Vic to pose naked?
Yes. But I cant blame the kid. The man has amazing cheekbones.
Jocelyn pushed open the door to her cousins bedroom and sighed. Help me, she ordered Jake and Shen.
Jake responded immediately, but Shen stopped in the doorway and stared. Is she dead?
No, Jocelyn said casually as she crouched down. Just drunk off her ass.
Another fight with the boyfriend she stalks? Jake asked.
No. Hes the stalked fianc now.
Maybe we should call an ambulance . . . or something.
Not necessary. Jocelyn stood. Just pick her up, Shen.
Pick her up?
Pick her up.
Sighing, Shen reached out and lifted Melly onto his shoulder. She seemed to barely weigh anything, and it was terribly easy. But then Jake said, If she starts squirming, drop her. Shes about to piss on you.
And if she grunts, Jocelyn added, throw her. Shes about to shit or projectile vomit.
Horrified, Shen practically ran to the room theyd set up for Melly. Easels and paints and the brilliant lighting from the above skylight made the room perfect for an artist. But he had a hard time believing the woman over his shoulder was an artist.
Stand her up for me, Jocelyn ordered.
Shen did, making sure to turn Melly away from him. Although he realized that might not actually save him.
Jocelyn stared at her cousin for several moments before pulling back her hand and slapping Melly in the face. The first time did nothing, but the second slap had Melly swinging fists and cursing.
Melly. Melly!
The honey badger stopped. Hey, Jocelyn. Whats going on?
We need you to work for a little while.
I dont feel like it. Melly searched her dress, which had no pockets. For her phone, Shen guessed. I dont understand how he cant love me.
Jake looked at Shenand rolled his eyes.
Well have to worry about that later, sweetie. Because I really need you to handle this right now.
Handle what?
Jocelyn held up a poster of an old Matisse painting that had been stolen from a Belgian art museum nearly ten years ago and never recovered.
Ohhh, Melly drunkenly sighed. Matisse. I love Matisse.
I know you do. Jocelyn nodded her head at Shen, and he released Mellys shoulders. Jocelyn began to walk backward, holding the painting up and Melly stumbled after her. Only you can do this, Melly. You know that, right?
Yep. I know. She waved her hand at Jocelyn. Pin it. Pin it.
Jocelyn pinned the poster to an easel and Melly stood in front of it. She stood. She stared. She weaved a little.
With a finger to her lips, Jocelyn gestured for the men to leave. Together, the three walked out, Jake silently shutting the door behind them.
Shen started to say something, but Jocelyn shook her head and indicated for them to walk down the stairs. Once they were on another floor, Shen asked, Are you sure we should leave her alone? She looks about to pass out again.
Shell be fine, Jocelyn said with absolutely no concern in her voice.
Shen wasnt so sure but . . . he wasnt about to go back and risk getting hit with all manner of disgusting things. He just hoped the family knew what they were doing since a lot of what they were planning hinged on a bipolar honey badger female with an obvious drinking problem.
Toni watched Vic open another jar of honey, put a spoon into it, and hand it to Livy. The cinnamon-infused.
Thanks.
Im going to go watch TV with Shen.
Ball game on? Maybe a little hockey?
No. Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon.
Of course.
Vic kissed her cheek and walked out, leaving the two females alone in the kitchen. They sat on the island, their feet hanging over the side.
Honey? Livy offered.
I hate honey.
What kind of demon hates honey?
So, how long before you admit to Vic that you love him, too?
Why dont you shut the fuck up?
Toni laughed. Oh my God. This is the best. I actually have something to torture you with. This is like heaven on earth.
Shut. Up.
Livys mother pulled the sliding glass door open and walked into the kitchen. Shed clearly been shopping, her hands filled with bags from stores like Chanel, Coach, and Saks Fifth Avenue. She stopped, though, when she saw Toni sitting next to Livy.
