Bite Me
Page 99
Jake pushed the door open and stepped in, revealing a tired-looking Toni standing behind him.
The two women stared at each other for a long moment until Toni burst out with, You bitch!
That seemed a surprising reaction to Vic, but Livy turning to him, and accusing, You called her?
I did not! But Im not surprised she found out since Ric Van Holtz had Coop, Kyle, and Cherise sent back to Washington as soon as everything happened.
Wait a minute. Toni stepped farther into the room. What was Kyle doing here? He was supposed to be in Italy.
Do you see what you started?
Vic reared back at Livys accusation. Me? What did I do?
He didnt call Toni, Jake cut in. I did.
And why would you do that? Livy demanded.
Because, Toni answered for Jake, I told him when we were sixteen, if he ever hid anything from me when you got yourself into trouble, I would hunt him down and cut his balls off!
And you believed her? Livy asked her cousin.
Yes, Jake answered bluntly. Yes, I did. When it comes to you twohe waved a finger between the femalesI dont get in the way. A rational man never would.
I cant believe you didnt call me, Livy!
Coop and Cherise were here to watch Kyle, and Coop told me your parents knew everything!
Im not talking about that idiot Kyle. Im talking about you. How could you not tell me about your father? About being shot? About everything?
Livy gave a small shrug. I didnt want you to worry.
And you! Toni snapped at Vic. How could you not tell me what was going on?
Why do I keep getting dragged back into this?
Just dont think for a second that because of your freakish size
Freakish?
and obscenely thick neck
Well, thats not necessary!
that I wont hunt you down, too, and cut your balls right off!
Hey, Vic, Jake said calmly, why dont we see if anyone left us some honey to eat? Downstairs. Far away from here.
Deciding it was best to leave before things got any stranger, Vic got up and walked out of the room. When Vic reached the stairs at the end of the hallway, Jake turned to him.
Are you serious about my cousin?
Vic didnt see the point in being vague. Very.
Then a little advice. When it comes to those two, just say, Hey, why dont I go get us some honey? Then leave the room.
But I
No, no. Theres no debating this. This is a standard plan Ive had in place for years from hard-earned lessons.
Its just that
No, no. Youre still doing that bear thing.
Bear thing?
Going with logic. Theres no logic when a jackal and a honey badger are friends. In the wild . . . they eat each others cubs. In suburban Washington, they watch out for each others siblings and violently threaten or attack those they feel may have emotionally harmed their best friend. So Im telling you, cause I like you, and because I can tell how you feel about my cousin . . . next time, just smile and say . . . ?
Vic stared down at him.
And say . . . ? Jake prompted again.
Vic sighed and parroted, Hey, why dont I go get us some honey?
Good man. Jake patted his arm. There might be hope for you yet.
Please dont cry, Livy begged as the two women held on to each other. Im okay. I promise.
I cant believe you didnt call me!
You were in Siberia. Not Brooklyn. Siberia.
Toni pulled back, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. You found out about your dad before I went to Siberia, though. Didnt you?
I didnt tell anyone about that. Not even Vic. I did, however, yell at my mother.
Please tell me she didnt actually kill the person we put in that grave.
Livy went to the nightstand and grabbed a tissue from the box. She swears whoever it was, was already dead. I decided not to push her on it.
Gently, Livy wiped her friends face. Ill be honest, Toni. I didnt know what to do. I never liked my old man, but . . . to see him like that.
Toni took the tissue, blew her nose. What did you do?
You mean other than getting shot? Livy shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed. I beat up Melly, got thrown into jail, and Vic took me to a bear-only town called Honeyville. Then I jousted.
You have always wanted to try that.
I was really good against the cats. The bears kicked my ass, though.
Toni sat down on the bed next to Livy. Did Vic joust?
No. He would have been great, too, but he was too busy yelling at me about how dangerous and stupid it was for me to joust.
He yelled at you because hes in love with you.
Livy lifted her feet, studied her bare toes. Did you know Honeyville has over three hundred and seventy types of honey? I think I tried almost all of them.
The two women stared at each other for a long moment until Toni burst out with, You bitch!
That seemed a surprising reaction to Vic, but Livy turning to him, and accusing, You called her?
I did not! But Im not surprised she found out since Ric Van Holtz had Coop, Kyle, and Cherise sent back to Washington as soon as everything happened.
Wait a minute. Toni stepped farther into the room. What was Kyle doing here? He was supposed to be in Italy.
Do you see what you started?
Vic reared back at Livys accusation. Me? What did I do?
He didnt call Toni, Jake cut in. I did.
And why would you do that? Livy demanded.
Because, Toni answered for Jake, I told him when we were sixteen, if he ever hid anything from me when you got yourself into trouble, I would hunt him down and cut his balls off!
And you believed her? Livy asked her cousin.
Yes, Jake answered bluntly. Yes, I did. When it comes to you twohe waved a finger between the femalesI dont get in the way. A rational man never would.
I cant believe you didnt call me, Livy!
Coop and Cherise were here to watch Kyle, and Coop told me your parents knew everything!
Im not talking about that idiot Kyle. Im talking about you. How could you not tell me about your father? About being shot? About everything?
Livy gave a small shrug. I didnt want you to worry.
And you! Toni snapped at Vic. How could you not tell me what was going on?
Why do I keep getting dragged back into this?
Just dont think for a second that because of your freakish size
Freakish?
and obscenely thick neck
Well, thats not necessary!
that I wont hunt you down, too, and cut your balls right off!
Hey, Vic, Jake said calmly, why dont we see if anyone left us some honey to eat? Downstairs. Far away from here.
Deciding it was best to leave before things got any stranger, Vic got up and walked out of the room. When Vic reached the stairs at the end of the hallway, Jake turned to him.
Are you serious about my cousin?
Vic didnt see the point in being vague. Very.
Then a little advice. When it comes to those two, just say, Hey, why dont I go get us some honey? Then leave the room.
But I
No, no. Theres no debating this. This is a standard plan Ive had in place for years from hard-earned lessons.
Its just that
No, no. Youre still doing that bear thing.
Bear thing?
Going with logic. Theres no logic when a jackal and a honey badger are friends. In the wild . . . they eat each others cubs. In suburban Washington, they watch out for each others siblings and violently threaten or attack those they feel may have emotionally harmed their best friend. So Im telling you, cause I like you, and because I can tell how you feel about my cousin . . . next time, just smile and say . . . ?
Vic stared down at him.
And say . . . ? Jake prompted again.
Vic sighed and parroted, Hey, why dont I go get us some honey?
Good man. Jake patted his arm. There might be hope for you yet.
Please dont cry, Livy begged as the two women held on to each other. Im okay. I promise.
I cant believe you didnt call me!
You were in Siberia. Not Brooklyn. Siberia.
Toni pulled back, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. You found out about your dad before I went to Siberia, though. Didnt you?
I didnt tell anyone about that. Not even Vic. I did, however, yell at my mother.
Please tell me she didnt actually kill the person we put in that grave.
Livy went to the nightstand and grabbed a tissue from the box. She swears whoever it was, was already dead. I decided not to push her on it.
Gently, Livy wiped her friends face. Ill be honest, Toni. I didnt know what to do. I never liked my old man, but . . . to see him like that.
Toni took the tissue, blew her nose. What did you do?
You mean other than getting shot? Livy shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed. I beat up Melly, got thrown into jail, and Vic took me to a bear-only town called Honeyville. Then I jousted.
You have always wanted to try that.
I was really good against the cats. The bears kicked my ass, though.
Toni sat down on the bed next to Livy. Did Vic joust?
No. He would have been great, too, but he was too busy yelling at me about how dangerous and stupid it was for me to joust.
He yelled at you because hes in love with you.
Livy lifted her feet, studied her bare toes. Did you know Honeyville has over three hundred and seventy types of honey? I think I tried almost all of them.
