Blue Lines
Page 62
Erik glared as he leaned against his knees. “You think you got me figured out, don’t you?”
“I do and I don’t like that part of you! There is good in you, so stop trying to hide it.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about,” he muttered as he sat back, crossing his arms.
“I don’t?”
“Hush, the tech will be here soon and I don’t want her to see us arguing.”
“ ’Cause you know I’m right; you know that you are a good person and your biggest fear is that no one will love you back.”
Erik shot up out of the chair, his hands out in front of him as he pinned her with a look. “Where the hell did you get that from? Because it is ridiculous; you’re ridiculous.”
“Because I get you, the same way you get me. I don’t understand why you fight this. We have been happy the last couple of days. Why fight that?”
“Because it is not right. This is fake, this is going to end, I don’t want to lead you on.”
She wanted to scream.
“I don’t understand how it is leading me on when everything you do is from your heart, even if you don’t want it to be. May I remind you we are here getting these state-of-the-art images because of you, because you cared enough to do this for me, for us.”
The door opened and in came their ultrasound tech. She may have said something but Piper was furious. How dare he? He knew what he was doing and she hated the fact that with all that had passed between them he was now putting up his walls again. He frustrated the living shit out of her and she wanted to wring his neck, but first she needed to know what their baby was.
Then they could have it out with each other.
The tech, Rachel, explained to them what was about to happen. Neither Piper nor Erik had any questions so Piper leaned back and took a deep breath in as Rachel lifted her shirt up. Looking down Piper swore she had gotten bigger. Everything was changing so quickly, and the truth was that it scared her to the core. She had thought things were changing between her and Erik, but it seemed that even if they were, Erik wasn’t going to let it happen. He wasn’t going to be there after the baby was born. He was going to leave her, and it was going to hurt.
Closing her eyes, she took in a sharp breath as Rachel put some warm gel on her belly. Suddenly she wanted to stop this; she wanted to run to the nearest bathroom and just cry. She knew Erik cared, she had seen and felt his concern for her, so why did he continue to push her away? What was he hiding? She shouldn’t allow him to ruin the most exciting time in her life; finding out the gender of her child was more important than Erik’s indecisiveness. It’s just that he confused her. Sometimes he could be the biggest ass in the world and other times he could do something so considerate it was shocking, and it wasn’t when they were play-acting for the family, either. There was something more to his actions and dammit, she would find out what it was … after she found out her baby’s sex.
When she felt a warm hand go into hers, she opened her eyes to find him looking at her. He bit down on his lip before letting out a long breath.
Moving in close to her, his nose tickled her cheek as he whispered, “Don’t let what happened ruin this. We’ve been waiting for this for a while, so come on, don’t be mad at me.”
He pulled back and squeezed her hand, totally confusing her. She just didn’t get it. Why say those things, why try, if he had one foot out the damn door? He was by far the most confusing man on this earth, and that said a lot because Piper had had her share of confusing men way before him. She knew he was right, though, so she nodded and turned her head to look at the screen.
When she saw what she was sure was her baby, tears clouded her eyes. As the probe moved around her belly, they saw different angles of their child. It seemed to have all four limbs and one head, thankfully. Maybe some hair, too, from what Rachel said. It looked normal, perfect.
“We are finding out what we are having, right?” Rachel asked.
Piper nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
Rachel smiled as she moved the probe and paused so they could see what was projected on the screen. Piper found it hard to breathe as she had waited forever for this moment, and here she was. Erik’s hand in hers, their baby on the screen, his legs wide open for the world to see. Tears rushed down Piper’s face as her heart started to beat harder than a drum.
“I think that speaks for itself,” Rachel said, laughing.
Piper smiled as she turned her head to look at Erik. His brow was to his hairline and he looked confused as he looked over at her.
“What is it? Is that the baby’s leg or something?”
Piper rolled her eyes as she squeezed his hand.
“It’s our boy’s penis.”
* * *
A boy?
Taking in shuddering breaths, Erik looked at the screen and then at Piper’s belly before glancing back at the screen where his son sat with his legs apart. He started to get that itchy feeling in his eyes and he refused to identify it; he just kept staring at his son. Looking back at Piper, seeing her beautiful flushed face as her eyes dripped with tears, he felt like his chest was opening and everything was falling out.
A boy, their boy.
“A boy.”
“A boy!” Rachel repeated, “A big boy, too. He’s got some girth to him. How far along are you?”
“Twenty-eight weeks, tomorrow,” Piper answered as Erik’s chest shook with the pounding of his head.
“I do and I don’t like that part of you! There is good in you, so stop trying to hide it.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about,” he muttered as he sat back, crossing his arms.
“I don’t?”
“Hush, the tech will be here soon and I don’t want her to see us arguing.”
“ ’Cause you know I’m right; you know that you are a good person and your biggest fear is that no one will love you back.”
Erik shot up out of the chair, his hands out in front of him as he pinned her with a look. “Where the hell did you get that from? Because it is ridiculous; you’re ridiculous.”
“Because I get you, the same way you get me. I don’t understand why you fight this. We have been happy the last couple of days. Why fight that?”
“Because it is not right. This is fake, this is going to end, I don’t want to lead you on.”
She wanted to scream.
“I don’t understand how it is leading me on when everything you do is from your heart, even if you don’t want it to be. May I remind you we are here getting these state-of-the-art images because of you, because you cared enough to do this for me, for us.”
The door opened and in came their ultrasound tech. She may have said something but Piper was furious. How dare he? He knew what he was doing and she hated the fact that with all that had passed between them he was now putting up his walls again. He frustrated the living shit out of her and she wanted to wring his neck, but first she needed to know what their baby was.
Then they could have it out with each other.
The tech, Rachel, explained to them what was about to happen. Neither Piper nor Erik had any questions so Piper leaned back and took a deep breath in as Rachel lifted her shirt up. Looking down Piper swore she had gotten bigger. Everything was changing so quickly, and the truth was that it scared her to the core. She had thought things were changing between her and Erik, but it seemed that even if they were, Erik wasn’t going to let it happen. He wasn’t going to be there after the baby was born. He was going to leave her, and it was going to hurt.
Closing her eyes, she took in a sharp breath as Rachel put some warm gel on her belly. Suddenly she wanted to stop this; she wanted to run to the nearest bathroom and just cry. She knew Erik cared, she had seen and felt his concern for her, so why did he continue to push her away? What was he hiding? She shouldn’t allow him to ruin the most exciting time in her life; finding out the gender of her child was more important than Erik’s indecisiveness. It’s just that he confused her. Sometimes he could be the biggest ass in the world and other times he could do something so considerate it was shocking, and it wasn’t when they were play-acting for the family, either. There was something more to his actions and dammit, she would find out what it was … after she found out her baby’s sex.
When she felt a warm hand go into hers, she opened her eyes to find him looking at her. He bit down on his lip before letting out a long breath.
Moving in close to her, his nose tickled her cheek as he whispered, “Don’t let what happened ruin this. We’ve been waiting for this for a while, so come on, don’t be mad at me.”
He pulled back and squeezed her hand, totally confusing her. She just didn’t get it. Why say those things, why try, if he had one foot out the damn door? He was by far the most confusing man on this earth, and that said a lot because Piper had had her share of confusing men way before him. She knew he was right, though, so she nodded and turned her head to look at the screen.
When she saw what she was sure was her baby, tears clouded her eyes. As the probe moved around her belly, they saw different angles of their child. It seemed to have all four limbs and one head, thankfully. Maybe some hair, too, from what Rachel said. It looked normal, perfect.
“We are finding out what we are having, right?” Rachel asked.
Piper nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
Rachel smiled as she moved the probe and paused so they could see what was projected on the screen. Piper found it hard to breathe as she had waited forever for this moment, and here she was. Erik’s hand in hers, their baby on the screen, his legs wide open for the world to see. Tears rushed down Piper’s face as her heart started to beat harder than a drum.
“I think that speaks for itself,” Rachel said, laughing.
Piper smiled as she turned her head to look at Erik. His brow was to his hairline and he looked confused as he looked over at her.
“What is it? Is that the baby’s leg or something?”
Piper rolled her eyes as she squeezed his hand.
“It’s our boy’s penis.”
* * *
A boy?
Taking in shuddering breaths, Erik looked at the screen and then at Piper’s belly before glancing back at the screen where his son sat with his legs apart. He started to get that itchy feeling in his eyes and he refused to identify it; he just kept staring at his son. Looking back at Piper, seeing her beautiful flushed face as her eyes dripped with tears, he felt like his chest was opening and everything was falling out.
A boy, their boy.
“A boy.”
“A boy!” Rachel repeated, “A big boy, too. He’s got some girth to him. How far along are you?”
“Twenty-eight weeks, tomorrow,” Piper answered as Erik’s chest shook with the pounding of his head.
