Blue Lines
Page 74
“Yeah.”
He watched as what he was saying became clear. Her eyes became sad as she nodded. “It wasn’t good?”
“It was great; that’s the problem,” he muttered as he looked away. “Piper, I am so f**ked-up, and I can’t help but feel like running away.”
“Why?”
He shook his head as he closed his eyes. Why couldn’t he tell her? Just say that he loved her and it scared him so bad that he needed to run? That it scared him that she could break him in two if she ever left him? What if he wasn’t enough?
“Because I’m scared. I’m freaked-out, Piper.”
“Of me?” she asked, her eyes wide as she leaned back to look at him better. He nodded and she gave him a puzzled look. “Erik, I would never hurt you.”
He nodded again. “I could hurt you.”
She blinked twice before looking down at their naked bodies.
“That’s the risk I’m willing to take,” she said as she looked back up at him. “You just have to take that risk on me.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Then we have a lot of work ahead of us. Either we can try or go the way we’ve been.”
Erik didn’t know what to say. Why did she want to deal with him? With a shrug he said, “I don’t know, Piper.”
“Okay,” she said with her own shrug, cuddling closer to him. “Well, I’m not letting go and the least you can do is cuddle back since you gave me three orgasms. Now kiss me.”
A smile came across his face as he looked down at her. “Kiss you?”
“Yes, because you need one and I like doing it.”
She puckered her lips and he leaned forward but she teasingly pulled away until he finally met her lips, bringing her as close as he could while he kissed her passionately. As they parted, she smiled against his lips before tucking her nose into his chest and closing her eyes. She was a riot, and he couldn’t help but want to try, but it was hard. It was like he was being pulled in two directions, not knowing which way to go. He wanted to do this thing with Piper, but he was also afraid he would hurt her, and vice versa. It was a vicious cycle, and Erik had no clue what to do.
* * *
“You’ll call if you need anything?” Cooper asked Erik the next morning as they loaded their bags into the car.
Erik nodded. “I will.”
“Good,” he said with a nod as he turned to face him. “I hope it works out and that when we come here in September, you’ll still be with her.”
“If I do leave, it will be after the baby is born,” Erik said, kicking at a weed in the driveway. He didn’t want to think of all that right now. He wanted it all to go away.
“So it’s an if now?”
Looking up, Erik found Cooper grinning at him. With a shrug, he said, “I really don’t know.”
“Well, I hope you stay. She is a delight. We love her,” he said, cupping his shoulder.
Erik nodded as he pulled his father into a tight hug. He knew it was only going to be a couple of months before they saw each other again, but he was going to miss Cooper. Things seemed to make sense when he was there to talk to things through.
Cooper then asked, “Who is your best friend, Erik?”
Erik laughed as he shook his head. “You are, Dad.”
“And who is mine?”
Erik nodded as Cooper reached for the door handle, waiting for him answer. With a grin, Erik said, “Me.”
“Damn right. Now I’ll see you soon; don’t do anything stupid.”
Erik chuckled as Cooper climbed into the car where Alla was waiting for him. Erik watched as their car disappeared and with a sigh, he looked up at the house. Piper was sitting on the top step with Stanley sitting beside her. She looked so sweet, so pretty, with a little grin on her face as she watched him walk toward her. Sitting down next to Stanley, he wrapped an arm around the pup and hugged him tightly.
“It’s gonna be quiet with them gone,” Piper said, stretching her legs out in front of her.
“Yeah, but then when they move to Nashville and are in your face twenty-four/seven you’ll be asking for them to leave,” Erik said with a grin.
Piper giggled. “You’re probably right.”
He nodded as he leaned on his knees, placing his head against them as he looked over at her. She looked happy, and he wondered if he did, too. He probably looked like a lovesick fool. Piper smiled as their eyes met, then her cheeks turned red and she looked away. He wanted to bring her into his arms, hold her close as he kissed her, but he wasn’t sure if he should. He was still as confused as he was the night before and nothing had been clarified. It was all on him to make the decision but he didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. He mainly didn’t want to lead her on any more than he already had. Sleeping with her might have been the best idea at the time, but it complicated everything, too.
“I don’t like those tattoos on your arms,” she said, bringing his attention to her. “I never have.”
Erik glanced down at his arms and picked at the hairs that covered the words “Nothing lasts forever.” No one ever liked his tattoos on his arms. But, there were no truer words for him; nothing had ever lasted for him.
“Some things do last, you know, and some people do stick around,” she added.
“Not for me. The only people that have done that are my parents and Jakob. This is mainly for all the women I’ve been with. I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.”
He watched as what he was saying became clear. Her eyes became sad as she nodded. “It wasn’t good?”
“It was great; that’s the problem,” he muttered as he looked away. “Piper, I am so f**ked-up, and I can’t help but feel like running away.”
“Why?”
He shook his head as he closed his eyes. Why couldn’t he tell her? Just say that he loved her and it scared him so bad that he needed to run? That it scared him that she could break him in two if she ever left him? What if he wasn’t enough?
“Because I’m scared. I’m freaked-out, Piper.”
“Of me?” she asked, her eyes wide as she leaned back to look at him better. He nodded and she gave him a puzzled look. “Erik, I would never hurt you.”
He nodded again. “I could hurt you.”
She blinked twice before looking down at their naked bodies.
“That’s the risk I’m willing to take,” she said as she looked back up at him. “You just have to take that risk on me.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Then we have a lot of work ahead of us. Either we can try or go the way we’ve been.”
Erik didn’t know what to say. Why did she want to deal with him? With a shrug he said, “I don’t know, Piper.”
“Okay,” she said with her own shrug, cuddling closer to him. “Well, I’m not letting go and the least you can do is cuddle back since you gave me three orgasms. Now kiss me.”
A smile came across his face as he looked down at her. “Kiss you?”
“Yes, because you need one and I like doing it.”
She puckered her lips and he leaned forward but she teasingly pulled away until he finally met her lips, bringing her as close as he could while he kissed her passionately. As they parted, she smiled against his lips before tucking her nose into his chest and closing her eyes. She was a riot, and he couldn’t help but want to try, but it was hard. It was like he was being pulled in two directions, not knowing which way to go. He wanted to do this thing with Piper, but he was also afraid he would hurt her, and vice versa. It was a vicious cycle, and Erik had no clue what to do.
* * *
“You’ll call if you need anything?” Cooper asked Erik the next morning as they loaded their bags into the car.
Erik nodded. “I will.”
“Good,” he said with a nod as he turned to face him. “I hope it works out and that when we come here in September, you’ll still be with her.”
“If I do leave, it will be after the baby is born,” Erik said, kicking at a weed in the driveway. He didn’t want to think of all that right now. He wanted it all to go away.
“So it’s an if now?”
Looking up, Erik found Cooper grinning at him. With a shrug, he said, “I really don’t know.”
“Well, I hope you stay. She is a delight. We love her,” he said, cupping his shoulder.
Erik nodded as he pulled his father into a tight hug. He knew it was only going to be a couple of months before they saw each other again, but he was going to miss Cooper. Things seemed to make sense when he was there to talk to things through.
Cooper then asked, “Who is your best friend, Erik?”
Erik laughed as he shook his head. “You are, Dad.”
“And who is mine?”
Erik nodded as Cooper reached for the door handle, waiting for him answer. With a grin, Erik said, “Me.”
“Damn right. Now I’ll see you soon; don’t do anything stupid.”
Erik chuckled as Cooper climbed into the car where Alla was waiting for him. Erik watched as their car disappeared and with a sigh, he looked up at the house. Piper was sitting on the top step with Stanley sitting beside her. She looked so sweet, so pretty, with a little grin on her face as she watched him walk toward her. Sitting down next to Stanley, he wrapped an arm around the pup and hugged him tightly.
“It’s gonna be quiet with them gone,” Piper said, stretching her legs out in front of her.
“Yeah, but then when they move to Nashville and are in your face twenty-four/seven you’ll be asking for them to leave,” Erik said with a grin.
Piper giggled. “You’re probably right.”
He nodded as he leaned on his knees, placing his head against them as he looked over at her. She looked happy, and he wondered if he did, too. He probably looked like a lovesick fool. Piper smiled as their eyes met, then her cheeks turned red and she looked away. He wanted to bring her into his arms, hold her close as he kissed her, but he wasn’t sure if he should. He was still as confused as he was the night before and nothing had been clarified. It was all on him to make the decision but he didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. He mainly didn’t want to lead her on any more than he already had. Sleeping with her might have been the best idea at the time, but it complicated everything, too.
“I don’t like those tattoos on your arms,” she said, bringing his attention to her. “I never have.”
Erik glanced down at his arms and picked at the hairs that covered the words “Nothing lasts forever.” No one ever liked his tattoos on his arms. But, there were no truer words for him; nothing had ever lasted for him.
“Some things do last, you know, and some people do stick around,” she added.
“Not for me. The only people that have done that are my parents and Jakob. This is mainly for all the women I’ve been with. I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.”
