Blue Lines
Page 83
“I want you to stay, Erik, with me and the baby,” Piper said, moving her hands out of his to wipe her tears.
“I can’t guarantee you that, baby. Training camp is about to start and then I’ll be traveling for preseason. I have never been so nervous about that in my life, but I am now because I’m not sure if I’ll hurt you or not. I don’t want to break my promise to you but I don’t know what it is going to be like when I’m back playing hockey. It’s easy now. I am with you all the time, but when I’m gone, I don’t know what will happen, if I can be faithful.”
Piper had a look of disbelief as she shook her head. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You don’t know if you are going to cheat so that’s what is keeping you from committing to me?”
“Yes, and it isn’t stupid. I care about you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You are hurting me because I don’t know what is going to happen and I’m scared.”
“I told you I was trying,” Erik said, looking into her eyes. “You said that was enough.”
“I don’t know if it is anymore.”
Silence filled the room. She didn’t know what she just said, but it might have been the start of a breakup. That wasn’t what she wanted but maybe it was what was needed. Something needed to change, someone needed to make a move and she felt like if she didn’t, he never would.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said softly.
“I don’t, either,” she said with a shake of her head. Moving her legs off him, she stood up and when she reached for her Kindle, he took hold of her wrist.
“We are not okay, are we?”
Looking up into his eyes, she shook her head. “No, we’re not.”
Pulling her wrist out of his hand, she turned and left the room. Once in her bedroom, she shut the door softly, leaning her forehead against it as the tears fell down her cheeks. Taking in a shuddering breath, all she could think about was:
What had she done?
Chapter 20
The car was going slow as they headed to Lamaze class. Glancing at the speedometer, Piper noticed that Erik was doing the speed limit, which was unusual because he always drove fast.
So what was going on?
Looking back at the road, she knew she needed to say something. He was visibly upset and she hated that, but before she could, he said, “I want you to know that I’ve been thinking a lot about what was said last night.”
She looked over at him and nodded. “Me, too.”
He went on: “I understand that I’m not giving you everything you want, and I know it must be hard, but this is all I’ve got right now, Piper. I want to give you more, believe me I do, and I hope you can be patient with me, but if not, I completely understand.”
He paused and took in a deep breath as she said, “Erik—”
“Let me finish, okay?” he said, looking over at her. She nodded as he went on. “I want you to know that you are the only girl that I want. I have been through a lot of females, we both know this, but none of them have done what you do to my heart. I want you to know that my day isn’t complete until I see your face, and I want you to know that it took me twenty-four hours to have the balls to say all this.” Her face broke into a grin as she nodded, her eyes clouding with tears. “I can’t promise you forever, Piper, not yet, but I hope I can soon. Just give me some more time to figure things out.”
Piper nodded as she reached across the console and took his hand in hers, “Some people are worth waiting for, and I believe that you’re one of those people. I am so sorry for the way I acted last night; it’s just been a tough month.”
“I know, baby,” he said, kissing the back of her hand. “I know it’s hard to be with me.”
She smiled over at him and when the car came to a stop, he leaned over and kissed her lips softly. Parting just slightly, he whispered, “Don’t ever question if I want you, either. Believe me, Mrs. Titov, my dick stays hard around you.”
A giggle escaped Piper’s lips as her body caught on fire. “Well, believe me, Mr. Titov, I stay nice and wet waiting for you.”
Closing his eyes, she smiled as he groaned, “You’re killin’ me, Smalls.”
As he pulled himself away to drive, she laughed as her heart beat happily. She loved this man and nothing was ever going to stop her love for him. She knew that they were going to be okay.
She just had to have faith in him.
* * *
Erik was glad he had a chance to talk to Piper. He felt horrible all morning as they seemed to avoid each other before heading out to the Lamaze class. She actually seemed surprised he was still going with her. He told her he would, and he was trying to keep his word.
“This is stupid.”
Erik nodded as he looked over at Lucas.
“I don’t even know why Fallon wanted to come; she’s already had a kid, she obviously knows how to do this,” he said with his arms across his chest. “I mean look at these jokers; they all look scared shitless. Birthing a baby can’t be that hard.”
Erik wondered if he looked like the scared-shitless guys, because he sure felt like one. Dimitri’s due date was around the corner and Erik had no clue what was going to happen. Piper liked watching those birthing shows but once the women started screaming, Erik usually left the room.
“I think we all need this,” Tate said with a shrug. “Audrey will need me, and I want to know what I have to do.”
“I can’t guarantee you that, baby. Training camp is about to start and then I’ll be traveling for preseason. I have never been so nervous about that in my life, but I am now because I’m not sure if I’ll hurt you or not. I don’t want to break my promise to you but I don’t know what it is going to be like when I’m back playing hockey. It’s easy now. I am with you all the time, but when I’m gone, I don’t know what will happen, if I can be faithful.”
Piper had a look of disbelief as she shook her head. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You don’t know if you are going to cheat so that’s what is keeping you from committing to me?”
“Yes, and it isn’t stupid. I care about you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You are hurting me because I don’t know what is going to happen and I’m scared.”
“I told you I was trying,” Erik said, looking into her eyes. “You said that was enough.”
“I don’t know if it is anymore.”
Silence filled the room. She didn’t know what she just said, but it might have been the start of a breakup. That wasn’t what she wanted but maybe it was what was needed. Something needed to change, someone needed to make a move and she felt like if she didn’t, he never would.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said softly.
“I don’t, either,” she said with a shake of her head. Moving her legs off him, she stood up and when she reached for her Kindle, he took hold of her wrist.
“We are not okay, are we?”
Looking up into his eyes, she shook her head. “No, we’re not.”
Pulling her wrist out of his hand, she turned and left the room. Once in her bedroom, she shut the door softly, leaning her forehead against it as the tears fell down her cheeks. Taking in a shuddering breath, all she could think about was:
What had she done?
Chapter 20
The car was going slow as they headed to Lamaze class. Glancing at the speedometer, Piper noticed that Erik was doing the speed limit, which was unusual because he always drove fast.
So what was going on?
Looking back at the road, she knew she needed to say something. He was visibly upset and she hated that, but before she could, he said, “I want you to know that I’ve been thinking a lot about what was said last night.”
She looked over at him and nodded. “Me, too.”
He went on: “I understand that I’m not giving you everything you want, and I know it must be hard, but this is all I’ve got right now, Piper. I want to give you more, believe me I do, and I hope you can be patient with me, but if not, I completely understand.”
He paused and took in a deep breath as she said, “Erik—”
“Let me finish, okay?” he said, looking over at her. She nodded as he went on. “I want you to know that you are the only girl that I want. I have been through a lot of females, we both know this, but none of them have done what you do to my heart. I want you to know that my day isn’t complete until I see your face, and I want you to know that it took me twenty-four hours to have the balls to say all this.” Her face broke into a grin as she nodded, her eyes clouding with tears. “I can’t promise you forever, Piper, not yet, but I hope I can soon. Just give me some more time to figure things out.”
Piper nodded as she reached across the console and took his hand in hers, “Some people are worth waiting for, and I believe that you’re one of those people. I am so sorry for the way I acted last night; it’s just been a tough month.”
“I know, baby,” he said, kissing the back of her hand. “I know it’s hard to be with me.”
She smiled over at him and when the car came to a stop, he leaned over and kissed her lips softly. Parting just slightly, he whispered, “Don’t ever question if I want you, either. Believe me, Mrs. Titov, my dick stays hard around you.”
A giggle escaped Piper’s lips as her body caught on fire. “Well, believe me, Mr. Titov, I stay nice and wet waiting for you.”
Closing his eyes, she smiled as he groaned, “You’re killin’ me, Smalls.”
As he pulled himself away to drive, she laughed as her heart beat happily. She loved this man and nothing was ever going to stop her love for him. She knew that they were going to be okay.
She just had to have faith in him.
* * *
Erik was glad he had a chance to talk to Piper. He felt horrible all morning as they seemed to avoid each other before heading out to the Lamaze class. She actually seemed surprised he was still going with her. He told her he would, and he was trying to keep his word.
“This is stupid.”
Erik nodded as he looked over at Lucas.
“I don’t even know why Fallon wanted to come; she’s already had a kid, she obviously knows how to do this,” he said with his arms across his chest. “I mean look at these jokers; they all look scared shitless. Birthing a baby can’t be that hard.”
Erik wondered if he looked like the scared-shitless guys, because he sure felt like one. Dimitri’s due date was around the corner and Erik had no clue what was going to happen. Piper liked watching those birthing shows but once the women started screaming, Erik usually left the room.
“I think we all need this,” Tate said with a shrug. “Audrey will need me, and I want to know what I have to do.”
