Boarded by Love
Page 105
“Yeah, how about a good-luck kiss?” I ask, looking at him through my eyelashes.
“I love when you do that. You look so innocent and hot. Come here,” he demands and then his mouth is crashing against mine. Roughly we kiss, his hand tangling in my hair as I take a fistful of his sweatshirt, bringing him closer, wanting to mold myself against him.
Parting only to breathe, I move my nose along his. I’m nervous about tonight. My heart is pounding and I know that it’s going to be okay, but I still wish Jude would be there too. Opening my eyes, I say, “Tonight is that investor thing. Wish me luck.”
“I didn’t know that was tonight,” he says, his brow coming up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s not a big deal.”
His brows come together as he shakes his head. “Yes, it is. This is important. I would have skipped the game tonight, said I hurt my groin or something.”
I roll my eyes. “No flipping way. It’s fine. I promise.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me,” he admits, tucking his hands into my pants pockets.
Cupping his face, I smile. “I’m sorry. Don’t be, okay?”
He runs his nose along mine and then nods. “Okay, I assume you’re going up there?”
“Yeah, probably after I’m done with Reese and Phillip. We’re all going together.”
“So you told them?” he asks, his eyes meeting mine, and I can see how much this bothers him.
“I’m sorry, Jude, I swear. I should have told you – you’re right. The only reason they know is ’cause I said I had to be done by nine to get down there.”
Nipping at my lip, he nods. “Okay, I forgive you, but next time, tell me. I want to be there for everything. I want to support you.”
My stomach churns a little as I nod. “I promise. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, well, let me know how it goes. I probably won’t be home till close to one.”
“Sinclair! Let’s go!” someone calls, and I look over to see that it was his coach. Meeting Jude’s gaze, I lean against him, hugging him close. Needing to feel his body against mine.
“Call me after the game. The show doesn’t start till ten. You’ll be done by then, right?” I ask, dusting my lips against his.
“Yeah, I’ll text you.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you more,” he says, pressing his lips to mine again. He kisses me once more and then on my knuckles before saying, “Good luck.”
I smile. “You too.”
He sends me a grin, and I watch as he tucks his headphones in his ears and then heads toward the bus. I wait till they pull out, blowing a kiss to Jude before I slump against my car, letting out a breath. It’s all over after tonight. I won’t ever have to lie again or ever feel like shit the way I do now. I know I have brought this on myself, but I can’t wait till I never have to worry about it again. When I don’t ever have to wear sky-high shoes and dance in a way that disrespects my uncle and my boyfriend. When I started this, I don’t think I really thought it through. I was too blinded by the money. I never wanted to be cold or hungry again. I just wanted to live with the knowledge of being safe. I didn’t think I could hurt anyone, but now after the fight with Phillip, I know I can, and I never want anyone to feel the pain I felt for those six days not knowing what my uncle was thinking.
Now all I need is the love of my family and my man.
That’s it.
Getting in my car, fighting back the tears, I head back to my dorm. I plan on sleeping since it’s going to be a long night, but Jude has other plans, and for the next two hours we talk and bullshit around as he rides to Chattanooga.
Hey Jude: My dad is an asshole.
Me: I could have told u that.
Hey Jude: Yeah, he told my mom she couldn’t drive to Chattanooga for our game. He’s in New York so she isn’t allowed to drive herself. Thankfully Lucy is going to drive her and Jace and Angie.
Me: Wow, what a jerk. I would have driven her, but I’m a bad girlfriend.
Hey Jude: Lol. Yeah u are. U naughty, naughty girl.
I smile.
Me: Stop, ur turning me on.
Hey Jude: Oh yeah? Hmm. I like that it doesn’t take much.
Me: Ha. I bet ur hard just thinking about me being turned on.
Hey Jude: Guilty.
Holding my stomach, I laugh so hard as I roll over to my stomach, holding my phone as I text him.
Me: U r so horny!
Hey Jude: Only for u.
Closing my eyes, I cuddle into my pillow as I look at the screen, wishing it was him instead.
Me: I wish you were here, lying with me.
Hey Jude: I wish I was too, but we’d be doing more than lying.
I laugh as I roll my eyes.
Me: Agreed.
Hey Jude:
Me: I do miss you though. Like a lot.
Hey Jude: I miss you more than that and then some.
Me: I think we should have another Disney night.
Hey Jude: Okay, but I swear if you make me watch Frozen more than once, I will never watch with you again.
Me: You don’t want to build a snowman?
Hey Jude: Shut up.
I can’t type, I’m laughing so hard.
Me: #lolololololololololololololololololol
Hey Jude: #ImGoingToBlowUpURSnowman
Me: You wouldn’t dare!
Hey Jude: Probably not. But no more Frozen.
Me: Okay, promise.
Hey Jude: Thank sweet baby Jesus.
Yawning through my smile, I giggle as I look up at the wall that is fully collaged with pictures of us together. Each one so quirky and full of love. There is one where he’s biting my chin, my ear. Us making funny faces and cuddling. Us kissing and even a picture of us playing a little hockey in the front of the Bullies’ house. He won’t admit it to anyone, but I won that game. When my eyes set on the picture of us with Jayden and then one with his mom, my smile grows. When I get to the one of us with Phillip and Reese at their wedding, my eyes start to cloud with tears.
Looking back at the screen, I text.
Me: I love you. #SoMuchItHurts
Hey Jude: Nothing could ever come close to my love for you. #RealTalk
Me: I’m so glad you chased me all over campus. #HeyJude
Hey Jude: I’m so glad you weren’t a butterface. #HotAllOver #MyBabyIsFine
“I love when you do that. You look so innocent and hot. Come here,” he demands and then his mouth is crashing against mine. Roughly we kiss, his hand tangling in my hair as I take a fistful of his sweatshirt, bringing him closer, wanting to mold myself against him.
Parting only to breathe, I move my nose along his. I’m nervous about tonight. My heart is pounding and I know that it’s going to be okay, but I still wish Jude would be there too. Opening my eyes, I say, “Tonight is that investor thing. Wish me luck.”
“I didn’t know that was tonight,” he says, his brow coming up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s not a big deal.”
His brows come together as he shakes his head. “Yes, it is. This is important. I would have skipped the game tonight, said I hurt my groin or something.”
I roll my eyes. “No flipping way. It’s fine. I promise.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me,” he admits, tucking his hands into my pants pockets.
Cupping his face, I smile. “I’m sorry. Don’t be, okay?”
He runs his nose along mine and then nods. “Okay, I assume you’re going up there?”
“Yeah, probably after I’m done with Reese and Phillip. We’re all going together.”
“So you told them?” he asks, his eyes meeting mine, and I can see how much this bothers him.
“I’m sorry, Jude, I swear. I should have told you – you’re right. The only reason they know is ’cause I said I had to be done by nine to get down there.”
Nipping at my lip, he nods. “Okay, I forgive you, but next time, tell me. I want to be there for everything. I want to support you.”
My stomach churns a little as I nod. “I promise. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, well, let me know how it goes. I probably won’t be home till close to one.”
“Sinclair! Let’s go!” someone calls, and I look over to see that it was his coach. Meeting Jude’s gaze, I lean against him, hugging him close. Needing to feel his body against mine.
“Call me after the game. The show doesn’t start till ten. You’ll be done by then, right?” I ask, dusting my lips against his.
“Yeah, I’ll text you.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you more,” he says, pressing his lips to mine again. He kisses me once more and then on my knuckles before saying, “Good luck.”
I smile. “You too.”
He sends me a grin, and I watch as he tucks his headphones in his ears and then heads toward the bus. I wait till they pull out, blowing a kiss to Jude before I slump against my car, letting out a breath. It’s all over after tonight. I won’t ever have to lie again or ever feel like shit the way I do now. I know I have brought this on myself, but I can’t wait till I never have to worry about it again. When I don’t ever have to wear sky-high shoes and dance in a way that disrespects my uncle and my boyfriend. When I started this, I don’t think I really thought it through. I was too blinded by the money. I never wanted to be cold or hungry again. I just wanted to live with the knowledge of being safe. I didn’t think I could hurt anyone, but now after the fight with Phillip, I know I can, and I never want anyone to feel the pain I felt for those six days not knowing what my uncle was thinking.
Now all I need is the love of my family and my man.
That’s it.
Getting in my car, fighting back the tears, I head back to my dorm. I plan on sleeping since it’s going to be a long night, but Jude has other plans, and for the next two hours we talk and bullshit around as he rides to Chattanooga.
Hey Jude: My dad is an asshole.
Me: I could have told u that.
Hey Jude: Yeah, he told my mom she couldn’t drive to Chattanooga for our game. He’s in New York so she isn’t allowed to drive herself. Thankfully Lucy is going to drive her and Jace and Angie.
Me: Wow, what a jerk. I would have driven her, but I’m a bad girlfriend.
Hey Jude: Lol. Yeah u are. U naughty, naughty girl.
I smile.
Me: Stop, ur turning me on.
Hey Jude: Oh yeah? Hmm. I like that it doesn’t take much.
Me: Ha. I bet ur hard just thinking about me being turned on.
Hey Jude: Guilty.
Holding my stomach, I laugh so hard as I roll over to my stomach, holding my phone as I text him.
Me: U r so horny!
Hey Jude: Only for u.
Closing my eyes, I cuddle into my pillow as I look at the screen, wishing it was him instead.
Me: I wish you were here, lying with me.
Hey Jude: I wish I was too, but we’d be doing more than lying.
I laugh as I roll my eyes.
Me: Agreed.
Hey Jude:
Me: I do miss you though. Like a lot.
Hey Jude: I miss you more than that and then some.
Me: I think we should have another Disney night.
Hey Jude: Okay, but I swear if you make me watch Frozen more than once, I will never watch with you again.
Me: You don’t want to build a snowman?
Hey Jude: Shut up.
I can’t type, I’m laughing so hard.
Me: #lolololololololololololololololololol
Hey Jude: #ImGoingToBlowUpURSnowman
Me: You wouldn’t dare!
Hey Jude: Probably not. But no more Frozen.
Me: Okay, promise.
Hey Jude: Thank sweet baby Jesus.
Yawning through my smile, I giggle as I look up at the wall that is fully collaged with pictures of us together. Each one so quirky and full of love. There is one where he’s biting my chin, my ear. Us making funny faces and cuddling. Us kissing and even a picture of us playing a little hockey in the front of the Bullies’ house. He won’t admit it to anyone, but I won that game. When my eyes set on the picture of us with Jayden and then one with his mom, my smile grows. When I get to the one of us with Phillip and Reese at their wedding, my eyes start to cloud with tears.
Looking back at the screen, I text.
Me: I love you. #SoMuchItHurts
Hey Jude: Nothing could ever come close to my love for you. #RealTalk
Me: I’m so glad you chased me all over campus. #HeyJude
Hey Jude: I’m so glad you weren’t a butterface. #HotAllOver #MyBabyIsFine
