Boarded by Love
Page 104
And just pray that in the end I have the safety and security of Jude’s love.
Another day passes before I hear from Phillip. When I do, it’s in the form of a text while I’m teaching a bunch of nine-year-olds.
Phillip: Hey, come over to the house once you close up the studio.
I don’t bother answering him. Instead I find myself watching the clock, begging time to go faster. Once it is time, I close the studio and get in my car, driving home. Taking out my phone, I dial Jude’s number and he answers on the fourth ring.
“Hey, babe,” he says roughly into the phone. Glancing at the clock, I see that it is his workout time.
“Shit, sorry, I know you’re working out.”
“No biggie, what’s up?”
“I’m heading home. Phillip finally texted me.”
“See, told you. It’s going to be fine. Do you want me to go with you?”
I smile, loving that he wants to be there for me. “I’m almost there, thank you, though.”
“No problem. Call me when you leave.”
“I will,” I say. “I love you.”
“Love you too, baby. Bye.”
Smiling from the love that is bursting in my chest for him, I hang up my phone before I turn the music up and turn onto the street that Phillip’s house is on. Pulling into the driveway, I shut off my car and head toward the door. I think about knocking but then curse myself for it.
He loves me and this is my home too.
Opening the door, I enter and shut it behind me. “Reese? Phillip?”
“We’re in here,” Reese calls from the kitchen.
Placing my keys in the basket, I head to the kitchen to find them both leaning against the kitchen island. Phillip doesn’t look at me, but Reese does, and I can see in her eyes that this is all a mess. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife; it’s so thick and honestly chokes me. I hate it. There shouldn’t be tension. Our family is too solid for tension.
“Hey,” I say, waving awkwardly.
“Hey,” Reese says back, a small smile on her face. “Get everything closed up?”
I nod as I come to the island, matching their stances. “Yup, good classes tonight.”
“Good,” she says and then she reaches out, lacing her fingers with Phillip’s. “Honey?” she asks. He looks up at her, and when he finally looks at me, the sadness in his eyes kills me. Gasping for breath, I look away like a coward, my heart beating hard in my chest. The room falls silent; the only noise is the tick of the clock. When I glance up, he’s watching me and his eyes lock with mine.
“Don’t you ever lie or hide anything from me again, do you understand me?”
Fighting back the tears, I nod. “I promise.”
“I’ve thought long and hard about this, Claire, and I understand why you think you need the money. I could never imagine what you went through growing up, and I wish I could take all those years away and replace them with new ones, but I can’t. All I can do is promise you that you don’t need to ever worry about that again. I’ll protect you, I’ll make sure you are taken care of, and I will always make sure you are loved.”
“I know, but I can’t depend on you forever, Phillip.”
He nods. “I get that, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be here when you need me. I’m not trying to tell you to quit or stop what you’re doing. If this is what you want, then I support you a hundred percent, but I want you to want it because you love it, not because of the money.”
I don’t even have to think about it. “I want to choreograph shows for burlesque dancers, Phillip. I’ve been doing research ever since I was told about the investors, and I can make my own world of burlesque. Something sexy and mind-blowing, I would be in complete control. It will be my show. Ms. Prissy thinks I can do huge things, and I agree. I feel good about this, but I promise, next Thursday is the last day I’ll be on the stage. I want you to be proud of me, and I know that seeing me in next to nothing dancing around won’t make you proud.”
“You’re wrong; I am proud of you no matter what,” he promises. “I would prefer you do it with clothes on, but if you want to strut your stuff across the stage, I’ll look away and wait till you’re done. But I will be front row, cheering you on. We’re so proud of you, Claire, and we love you.”
“I love you guys,” I say, my voice breaking and tears welling up in my eyes. He brings me in close and I hug him tightly, my heart pounding against my chest. When he lets me go, Reese wraps her arms around me, her eyes misty with tears.
“I love you too,” she whispers, and I hug her a little tighter.
“I love you,” I say, closing my eyes tight as I hold her.
“So when is this investors’ show?” Phillip asks as we part. “Thursday?”
I nod. “Yup, I’m performing twice but the whole show is choreographed by me.”
“Awesome. Hey, Reese,” he says and she smiles over at him.
“Yeah, babe?”
“Want to be my date Thursday to watch our girl be a star?”
She glances over at me, her face beaming with pride as she says, “Hell yeah, I do.”
I squeal in happiness and soon I’m wrapped up in a group hug with my two favorite people. As I hug them, wrapped tightly in their love, my mind drifts to Jude, and I wonder if I could get him to come.
And I wonder if he’ll still love me when I come onstage as Diamond.
Jude couldn’t come even if I had the balls to ask. He has a game in Chattanooga, which sucks because I had to tell him I couldn’t go, and I had to lie again.
“Can I ask you to blow off Phillip and Reese and have you not be mad?” he asks, pulling me in close. I’m standing between his legs as he leans against my car while we wait for them to finish loading the bus.
“I can’t. We have plans, I’m sorry. Rain check?”
He smiles, hooking his fingers in my belt loops. “I guess. You’re lucky I love you.”
“Yeah, I am,” I say, emotion tickling my throat. “Very lucky.”
“Can I at least get some good-luck loving?” he says, his eyes dark with desire.
“What do you want?” I ask, waggling my eyebrows at him.
He laughs. “I want a piece of this ass,” he says, taking two handfuls of my ass. “But we’re leaving in a bit.”
Another day passes before I hear from Phillip. When I do, it’s in the form of a text while I’m teaching a bunch of nine-year-olds.
Phillip: Hey, come over to the house once you close up the studio.
I don’t bother answering him. Instead I find myself watching the clock, begging time to go faster. Once it is time, I close the studio and get in my car, driving home. Taking out my phone, I dial Jude’s number and he answers on the fourth ring.
“Hey, babe,” he says roughly into the phone. Glancing at the clock, I see that it is his workout time.
“Shit, sorry, I know you’re working out.”
“No biggie, what’s up?”
“I’m heading home. Phillip finally texted me.”
“See, told you. It’s going to be fine. Do you want me to go with you?”
I smile, loving that he wants to be there for me. “I’m almost there, thank you, though.”
“No problem. Call me when you leave.”
“I will,” I say. “I love you.”
“Love you too, baby. Bye.”
Smiling from the love that is bursting in my chest for him, I hang up my phone before I turn the music up and turn onto the street that Phillip’s house is on. Pulling into the driveway, I shut off my car and head toward the door. I think about knocking but then curse myself for it.
He loves me and this is my home too.
Opening the door, I enter and shut it behind me. “Reese? Phillip?”
“We’re in here,” Reese calls from the kitchen.
Placing my keys in the basket, I head to the kitchen to find them both leaning against the kitchen island. Phillip doesn’t look at me, but Reese does, and I can see in her eyes that this is all a mess. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife; it’s so thick and honestly chokes me. I hate it. There shouldn’t be tension. Our family is too solid for tension.
“Hey,” I say, waving awkwardly.
“Hey,” Reese says back, a small smile on her face. “Get everything closed up?”
I nod as I come to the island, matching their stances. “Yup, good classes tonight.”
“Good,” she says and then she reaches out, lacing her fingers with Phillip’s. “Honey?” she asks. He looks up at her, and when he finally looks at me, the sadness in his eyes kills me. Gasping for breath, I look away like a coward, my heart beating hard in my chest. The room falls silent; the only noise is the tick of the clock. When I glance up, he’s watching me and his eyes lock with mine.
“Don’t you ever lie or hide anything from me again, do you understand me?”
Fighting back the tears, I nod. “I promise.”
“I’ve thought long and hard about this, Claire, and I understand why you think you need the money. I could never imagine what you went through growing up, and I wish I could take all those years away and replace them with new ones, but I can’t. All I can do is promise you that you don’t need to ever worry about that again. I’ll protect you, I’ll make sure you are taken care of, and I will always make sure you are loved.”
“I know, but I can’t depend on you forever, Phillip.”
He nods. “I get that, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be here when you need me. I’m not trying to tell you to quit or stop what you’re doing. If this is what you want, then I support you a hundred percent, but I want you to want it because you love it, not because of the money.”
I don’t even have to think about it. “I want to choreograph shows for burlesque dancers, Phillip. I’ve been doing research ever since I was told about the investors, and I can make my own world of burlesque. Something sexy and mind-blowing, I would be in complete control. It will be my show. Ms. Prissy thinks I can do huge things, and I agree. I feel good about this, but I promise, next Thursday is the last day I’ll be on the stage. I want you to be proud of me, and I know that seeing me in next to nothing dancing around won’t make you proud.”
“You’re wrong; I am proud of you no matter what,” he promises. “I would prefer you do it with clothes on, but if you want to strut your stuff across the stage, I’ll look away and wait till you’re done. But I will be front row, cheering you on. We’re so proud of you, Claire, and we love you.”
“I love you guys,” I say, my voice breaking and tears welling up in my eyes. He brings me in close and I hug him tightly, my heart pounding against my chest. When he lets me go, Reese wraps her arms around me, her eyes misty with tears.
“I love you too,” she whispers, and I hug her a little tighter.
“I love you,” I say, closing my eyes tight as I hold her.
“So when is this investors’ show?” Phillip asks as we part. “Thursday?”
I nod. “Yup, I’m performing twice but the whole show is choreographed by me.”
“Awesome. Hey, Reese,” he says and she smiles over at him.
“Yeah, babe?”
“Want to be my date Thursday to watch our girl be a star?”
She glances over at me, her face beaming with pride as she says, “Hell yeah, I do.”
I squeal in happiness and soon I’m wrapped up in a group hug with my two favorite people. As I hug them, wrapped tightly in their love, my mind drifts to Jude, and I wonder if I could get him to come.
And I wonder if he’ll still love me when I come onstage as Diamond.
Jude couldn’t come even if I had the balls to ask. He has a game in Chattanooga, which sucks because I had to tell him I couldn’t go, and I had to lie again.
“Can I ask you to blow off Phillip and Reese and have you not be mad?” he asks, pulling me in close. I’m standing between his legs as he leans against my car while we wait for them to finish loading the bus.
“I can’t. We have plans, I’m sorry. Rain check?”
He smiles, hooking his fingers in my belt loops. “I guess. You’re lucky I love you.”
“Yeah, I am,” I say, emotion tickling my throat. “Very lucky.”
“Can I at least get some good-luck loving?” he says, his eyes dark with desire.
“What do you want?” I ask, waggling my eyebrows at him.
He laughs. “I want a piece of this ass,” he says, taking two handfuls of my ass. “But we’re leaving in a bit.”
