Boarded by Love
Page 121
As I pass by Ellen, she says, “Good luck to you too.”
I send her a small smile, and that’s all I can muster up for her. I can’t believe that she would stay with someone like that, but it’s not my problem. Mrs. Sinclair kicked him to the curb according to Jayden, so as long as she’s done with him, I should be too. Especially since I’m not even dating her son anymore, and plus, I’m about to find out my future. I have bigger things to worry about than dealing with Ellen’s bad choices.
Swallowing loudly, I go through the door to see that Ms. Prissy’s office is full. Not only are the seven investors from Vegas there, but also the lawyer that Phillip hired, and Ms. Prissy, of course. Taking a deep breath, I put a smile on my face and decide that this is it; I have to let go of the past.
And that includes Jude.
An hour later I walk out of the office not really sure what just happened. My skin is tingling, my heart racing, and I feel breathless.
Did that really just happen?
Like a zombie, I walk to my station and grab my things before heading out to find Reese and Phillip. They said they would meet me in the parking lot, and that’s where I find them, standing beside their car.
Phillip takes my box and asks, “So?”
“Tell us!” Reese giggles.
A smile covers my lips and tears rush to my eyes as I say, “I just signed a half a million dollar contract for three years to be the director and choreographer of Diamond Burlesque Revue in Las Vegas, Nevada.”
“Oh shit!” Phillip yells, wrapping me up in his arms and hugging me. I feel Reese behind me, kissing my temple as they both hug me tightly. Tears rush down my cheeks as I hold on to the two people who have been my rock my whole life. When I told Reese that my life began when I came to them, I meant it. I came alive when I met Jude, but now that’s all over. Knowing that makes the tears come faster, drenching Phillip’s shirt. Kissing my cheek loudly, he says, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I cry as we part. Wiping my face, I take in a deep breath. “I can’t believe it,” I laugh. “Me in Vegas!”
They both beam at me. “We’re so proud! When do you leave?” Reese asks.
“Around April,” I say, letting out the deep breath I sucked in. I want to be happy. I want to know this is going to be the start of my new life, but I just feel empty. I miss Jude. I want him here, beside me, cheering me on. I want to know that he’ll be there whenever I want to call him or need him. Swallowing a sob, I whisper, “I just wish Jude was here.”
“I know, sweetheart,” Reese says, running her thumb along my cheek, and we share a long, loving look.
“He was,” Phillip says.
I whip my head toward him as I screech, “What?!”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
I turn around, and I honestly feel like I’m going to pass out. Meeting Jude’s green eyes, I’m breathless, and I swear my heart stops at the sight of him. I haven’t seen him since the game and nothing has changed. He stills looks sad, his eyes dark and his beard growing thickly – which is so damn sexy, in my opinion. Taking in a breath, I whisper, “You came.”
“I did,” he says, his eyes locked to mine.
My whole body catches on fire, my heart clanking against my ribs, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Breathing deeply, I say, “I’m so glad you did. Thank you.”
He nods and his eyes cut to where Phillip and Reese are watching us. I look over at them with wide eyes that say “Get the hell out of here!”
Thankfully Reese catches on and pulls Phillip’s arm. “Let’s go. Claire, call us when you’re done. We’ll go celebrate.”
“Huh?” Phillip says, confused. “I want to know what happens.”
“No! Let’s go,” she urges, sending a grin at Jude. “So nice to see you, Jude.”
“Nice seeing you, Reese,” he says before looking down at the ground.
“I’m not going home, Claire. We’re going to get barbecue,” Phillip says, annoyed, and I give him a dark look.
“I’ll meet you there,” I say as they get into the car with only a wave from Reese. When they pull away, I look back over at Jude and say, “Maybe you would like to come?”
He looks up at me and shrugs. “Maybe.”
Well, that’s hopeful, right? I hope so because I don’t think my heart can take any more. It is pounding hard against my ribs, my breath coming out in spurts, and I honestly don’t know what is going to happen here. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know if I should move, I can’t do anything but look deep into those emerald green eyes and hope to God I get the chance to look at them for the rest of my life.
“I miss you,” he whispers, his lips moving ever so slowly, and I swear those words are music to my ears.
I don’t even realize I’m crying again until the tears are running into my mouth. “I miss you, Jude. So damn much.”
“I’m sorry,” he says then. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and pulling away the way I have.”
“I understand why you did,” I say, my hands shaking at my sides.
“I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”
I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”
“Did you give me the chance, though?”
I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?
“No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”
I send her a small smile, and that’s all I can muster up for her. I can’t believe that she would stay with someone like that, but it’s not my problem. Mrs. Sinclair kicked him to the curb according to Jayden, so as long as she’s done with him, I should be too. Especially since I’m not even dating her son anymore, and plus, I’m about to find out my future. I have bigger things to worry about than dealing with Ellen’s bad choices.
Swallowing loudly, I go through the door to see that Ms. Prissy’s office is full. Not only are the seven investors from Vegas there, but also the lawyer that Phillip hired, and Ms. Prissy, of course. Taking a deep breath, I put a smile on my face and decide that this is it; I have to let go of the past.
And that includes Jude.
An hour later I walk out of the office not really sure what just happened. My skin is tingling, my heart racing, and I feel breathless.
Did that really just happen?
Like a zombie, I walk to my station and grab my things before heading out to find Reese and Phillip. They said they would meet me in the parking lot, and that’s where I find them, standing beside their car.
Phillip takes my box and asks, “So?”
“Tell us!” Reese giggles.
A smile covers my lips and tears rush to my eyes as I say, “I just signed a half a million dollar contract for three years to be the director and choreographer of Diamond Burlesque Revue in Las Vegas, Nevada.”
“Oh shit!” Phillip yells, wrapping me up in his arms and hugging me. I feel Reese behind me, kissing my temple as they both hug me tightly. Tears rush down my cheeks as I hold on to the two people who have been my rock my whole life. When I told Reese that my life began when I came to them, I meant it. I came alive when I met Jude, but now that’s all over. Knowing that makes the tears come faster, drenching Phillip’s shirt. Kissing my cheek loudly, he says, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I cry as we part. Wiping my face, I take in a deep breath. “I can’t believe it,” I laugh. “Me in Vegas!”
They both beam at me. “We’re so proud! When do you leave?” Reese asks.
“Around April,” I say, letting out the deep breath I sucked in. I want to be happy. I want to know this is going to be the start of my new life, but I just feel empty. I miss Jude. I want him here, beside me, cheering me on. I want to know that he’ll be there whenever I want to call him or need him. Swallowing a sob, I whisper, “I just wish Jude was here.”
“I know, sweetheart,” Reese says, running her thumb along my cheek, and we share a long, loving look.
“He was,” Phillip says.
I whip my head toward him as I screech, “What?!”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
I turn around, and I honestly feel like I’m going to pass out. Meeting Jude’s green eyes, I’m breathless, and I swear my heart stops at the sight of him. I haven’t seen him since the game and nothing has changed. He stills looks sad, his eyes dark and his beard growing thickly – which is so damn sexy, in my opinion. Taking in a breath, I whisper, “You came.”
“I did,” he says, his eyes locked to mine.
My whole body catches on fire, my heart clanking against my ribs, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Breathing deeply, I say, “I’m so glad you did. Thank you.”
He nods and his eyes cut to where Phillip and Reese are watching us. I look over at them with wide eyes that say “Get the hell out of here!”
Thankfully Reese catches on and pulls Phillip’s arm. “Let’s go. Claire, call us when you’re done. We’ll go celebrate.”
“Huh?” Phillip says, confused. “I want to know what happens.”
“No! Let’s go,” she urges, sending a grin at Jude. “So nice to see you, Jude.”
“Nice seeing you, Reese,” he says before looking down at the ground.
“I’m not going home, Claire. We’re going to get barbecue,” Phillip says, annoyed, and I give him a dark look.
“I’ll meet you there,” I say as they get into the car with only a wave from Reese. When they pull away, I look back over at Jude and say, “Maybe you would like to come?”
He looks up at me and shrugs. “Maybe.”
Well, that’s hopeful, right? I hope so because I don’t think my heart can take any more. It is pounding hard against my ribs, my breath coming out in spurts, and I honestly don’t know what is going to happen here. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know if I should move, I can’t do anything but look deep into those emerald green eyes and hope to God I get the chance to look at them for the rest of my life.
“I miss you,” he whispers, his lips moving ever so slowly, and I swear those words are music to my ears.
I don’t even realize I’m crying again until the tears are running into my mouth. “I miss you, Jude. So damn much.”
“I’m sorry,” he says then. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and pulling away the way I have.”
“I understand why you did,” I say, my hands shaking at my sides.
“I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”
I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”
“Did you give me the chance, though?”
I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?
“No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”
