Broken and Screwed 2
Page 82
My hand grasped her arm. “He did.”
“What?” She fell silent.
“He did. Jesse called him when you gave birth. He was coming to see you.” I swallowed back the pain. “I think he was coming to save himself too.” I never said those words to Jesse, but I wondered. It felt right to say it to her now.
Her bottom lip started trembling. Her throat strained and I could tell she was trying not to lose it. Then she rushed out, “Can you take her?”
“What?”
But Alexi came to me willingly. Her mother turned away. A hand was pressed to her mouth and she walked a few steps away. As her shoulder started shaking, I knew what she was doing and I turned to give my niece the brightest smile I could muster. “You’re so pretty!”
A toothy smile was my reward. Little fingers reached out and she grabbed hold of my cheeks and started yanking my face back and forth. It was the best feeling. Her eyes darkened and she grew serious then. Leaning forward, she plucked at my lip. My hair was attacked next. I didn’t care. She could yank all she wanted.
When Claire remained away, still crying and wiping at her face, I took Alexi to a nearby bench. I was bouncing her on my knee when I heard my name called out. Hannah and Beth waved and came over. Beth frowned at the little girl. When she reached for her, Beth took two staggering steps backwards. The little girl grew more determined, but grabbed Hannah’s knee instead.
Hannah gestured at her. “Who’s the kid?”
“My niece.”
I didn’t bat an eyelash. I didn’t hesitate. I was so damn proud. Ethan created this little girl. She would’ve been the love of his life.
“Oh. Wow.”
I looked up and squinted against the sunlight. There were no sarcastic remarks. Even Beth looked close to tears. She took the seat beside me and held a finger out. Alexi grabbed on and twisted. As Beth cried out in pain, Hannah snorted. “Dumb—”
She caught my look.
And finished, “head. Dumbhead.”
“I’m better now.” Claire joined us, her voice still wobbly. She knelt and took Alexi from me. “Thanks for holding her.” Then she glanced at Beth and Hannah.
“These are my friends.”
“Oh, right. Angie and Marissa. Ethan told me about them.”
“Hannah and Beth.”
“Oh.” She flushed. “Sorry. Of course. You’re at college. Who goes to college with their high school friends?”
“I did.” Hannah threw her arm around Beth’s shoulders. “Actually, I coerced my cousin to come here after me. Couldn’t live another year without her.”
“Shut up,” Beth mumbled. Her eyes were glued to Alexi before she turned away. “Let’s go. This is a private moment.”
“Oh man.”
“Shut it, Chatsworth!”
“Shutting it.” Hannah winked at me as she followed Beth to the dorm.
“They’re, uh, nice?”
“They’re like me.” I stood from the bench. “Not everyone gets us.”
“So, um, the birthday party. Yes. We’re having it in two weeks. Did I say that before? Two weeks at my mother’s. Jesse knows the address. Bring him too. I haven’t been all that nice to him, but I’ve started to realize that he’s not the bad guy I always thought he was.”
I grinned. I understood that as well.
“It’s not going to be anything special. I mean, I can’t afford much, and I don’t like letting my mother dish out money all the time. Free rent is good enough, you know.” She rolled her eyes and sucked in her breath. She puffed out her cheeks. “Sorry. You don’t need to know all about that. I just feel bad. Seeing you, I know I’ve been wrong the last three years. I was so angry with your dad and I took it out on everyone. Alexi too. She’d probably love meeting your mom, huh? What am I doing here?” She choked out next, “Thank you for telling me about Ethan. I never knew. They only said he died in a car accident. That was it.”
I stopped her as I put my hand on her arm. “Do you mind if I ask, but how do you spell Alexi’s middle name?” I needed to make sure.
“Oh.” She blinked in her confusion, but rambled out, “C-L-A-I-R-A. I wanted it to be a bit different. My aunt’s name is Claira too. I thought I was taking care of three birds with one stone. Okay. I have no idea what I was thinking. I didn’t want her to be just like me or just like you. All right.” She forced out another deep breath. “I am so nervous right now. You are so beautiful. Ethan told me you were pretty, but I had no idea.”
Now I was the confused one. Jesse always told me that I was hot. My mother mentioned I was beautiful, but it came from Claire now. I was touched. The tears started forming.
“Okay. I’m going to go. I’ll be in contact. I really will. This wasn’t some form of drive by and meet-your-niece-sort-of-thing. You know what I mean. I’m just having a hard time keeping it together. You’re not what I expected. Jesse said that’s your dorm over there. I’ve been waiting all day to catch you. I almost left. Alexi needs to eat and take a nap, but then she took off running. I have no idea why. She’d been fine with me under the tree, but all the sudden she took off. It was like she was chasing something. I don’t know. She does that at times. She’ll suddenly start talking to someone in the room, but no one is there. And I’m rambling again.”
She darted forward and gave me a hug. Her skinny arms wrapped around me before she let me go. Then she gave me an awkward wave and hurried to the parking lot. Alexi hung over her shoulder. Her dark eyes didn’t look away. Before they got into their car, she lifted her tiny hand and waved.
I bit my own lip now. The tears were starting to spill.
I missed my brother so goddamn much in that moment.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Four months later
“Hey!”
I looked over and saw Hannah and Beth crossing the lawn to me. Instead of the skintight and skin-showing ensemble Hannah usually wore, I was surprised that she was in jeans and a lightweight white shirt. She almost looked like me. I glanced down, but my jeans were ripped at the knees and Jesse had stretched the cle**age down one night. We’d been cuddling on the couch and wanted a better view. I was now the scantily clad one, but I was comforted at Beth’s usual apparel. All black. A new tattoo peeked out from underneath her neckline. It looked like the tip of a bird’s wing. Then I glanced around. “Where’d you park?”
“What?” She fell silent.
“He did. Jesse called him when you gave birth. He was coming to see you.” I swallowed back the pain. “I think he was coming to save himself too.” I never said those words to Jesse, but I wondered. It felt right to say it to her now.
Her bottom lip started trembling. Her throat strained and I could tell she was trying not to lose it. Then she rushed out, “Can you take her?”
“What?”
But Alexi came to me willingly. Her mother turned away. A hand was pressed to her mouth and she walked a few steps away. As her shoulder started shaking, I knew what she was doing and I turned to give my niece the brightest smile I could muster. “You’re so pretty!”
A toothy smile was my reward. Little fingers reached out and she grabbed hold of my cheeks and started yanking my face back and forth. It was the best feeling. Her eyes darkened and she grew serious then. Leaning forward, she plucked at my lip. My hair was attacked next. I didn’t care. She could yank all she wanted.
When Claire remained away, still crying and wiping at her face, I took Alexi to a nearby bench. I was bouncing her on my knee when I heard my name called out. Hannah and Beth waved and came over. Beth frowned at the little girl. When she reached for her, Beth took two staggering steps backwards. The little girl grew more determined, but grabbed Hannah’s knee instead.
Hannah gestured at her. “Who’s the kid?”
“My niece.”
I didn’t bat an eyelash. I didn’t hesitate. I was so damn proud. Ethan created this little girl. She would’ve been the love of his life.
“Oh. Wow.”
I looked up and squinted against the sunlight. There were no sarcastic remarks. Even Beth looked close to tears. She took the seat beside me and held a finger out. Alexi grabbed on and twisted. As Beth cried out in pain, Hannah snorted. “Dumb—”
She caught my look.
And finished, “head. Dumbhead.”
“I’m better now.” Claire joined us, her voice still wobbly. She knelt and took Alexi from me. “Thanks for holding her.” Then she glanced at Beth and Hannah.
“These are my friends.”
“Oh, right. Angie and Marissa. Ethan told me about them.”
“Hannah and Beth.”
“Oh.” She flushed. “Sorry. Of course. You’re at college. Who goes to college with their high school friends?”
“I did.” Hannah threw her arm around Beth’s shoulders. “Actually, I coerced my cousin to come here after me. Couldn’t live another year without her.”
“Shut up,” Beth mumbled. Her eyes were glued to Alexi before she turned away. “Let’s go. This is a private moment.”
“Oh man.”
“Shut it, Chatsworth!”
“Shutting it.” Hannah winked at me as she followed Beth to the dorm.
“They’re, uh, nice?”
“They’re like me.” I stood from the bench. “Not everyone gets us.”
“So, um, the birthday party. Yes. We’re having it in two weeks. Did I say that before? Two weeks at my mother’s. Jesse knows the address. Bring him too. I haven’t been all that nice to him, but I’ve started to realize that he’s not the bad guy I always thought he was.”
I grinned. I understood that as well.
“It’s not going to be anything special. I mean, I can’t afford much, and I don’t like letting my mother dish out money all the time. Free rent is good enough, you know.” She rolled her eyes and sucked in her breath. She puffed out her cheeks. “Sorry. You don’t need to know all about that. I just feel bad. Seeing you, I know I’ve been wrong the last three years. I was so angry with your dad and I took it out on everyone. Alexi too. She’d probably love meeting your mom, huh? What am I doing here?” She choked out next, “Thank you for telling me about Ethan. I never knew. They only said he died in a car accident. That was it.”
I stopped her as I put my hand on her arm. “Do you mind if I ask, but how do you spell Alexi’s middle name?” I needed to make sure.
“Oh.” She blinked in her confusion, but rambled out, “C-L-A-I-R-A. I wanted it to be a bit different. My aunt’s name is Claira too. I thought I was taking care of three birds with one stone. Okay. I have no idea what I was thinking. I didn’t want her to be just like me or just like you. All right.” She forced out another deep breath. “I am so nervous right now. You are so beautiful. Ethan told me you were pretty, but I had no idea.”
Now I was the confused one. Jesse always told me that I was hot. My mother mentioned I was beautiful, but it came from Claire now. I was touched. The tears started forming.
“Okay. I’m going to go. I’ll be in contact. I really will. This wasn’t some form of drive by and meet-your-niece-sort-of-thing. You know what I mean. I’m just having a hard time keeping it together. You’re not what I expected. Jesse said that’s your dorm over there. I’ve been waiting all day to catch you. I almost left. Alexi needs to eat and take a nap, but then she took off running. I have no idea why. She’d been fine with me under the tree, but all the sudden she took off. It was like she was chasing something. I don’t know. She does that at times. She’ll suddenly start talking to someone in the room, but no one is there. And I’m rambling again.”
She darted forward and gave me a hug. Her skinny arms wrapped around me before she let me go. Then she gave me an awkward wave and hurried to the parking lot. Alexi hung over her shoulder. Her dark eyes didn’t look away. Before they got into their car, she lifted her tiny hand and waved.
I bit my own lip now. The tears were starting to spill.
I missed my brother so goddamn much in that moment.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Four months later
“Hey!”
I looked over and saw Hannah and Beth crossing the lawn to me. Instead of the skintight and skin-showing ensemble Hannah usually wore, I was surprised that she was in jeans and a lightweight white shirt. She almost looked like me. I glanced down, but my jeans were ripped at the knees and Jesse had stretched the cle**age down one night. We’d been cuddling on the couch and wanted a better view. I was now the scantily clad one, but I was comforted at Beth’s usual apparel. All black. A new tattoo peeked out from underneath her neckline. It looked like the tip of a bird’s wing. Then I glanced around. “Where’d you park?”
