Broken and Screwed
Page 11
I sighed. Was this how I wanted it? To take away their fun all the time? But I managed a smile and cleared my throat. “So I was wondering about Casey and her friends this year. I know they aren’t too happy with us.”
Marissa snorted. “Oh please. Let me handle her. It will be my pleasure, Alex. You just worry about being you, all perfect and beautiful. We mortals can only hope to be as perfect as you.”
My eyes went wide. Was she kidding? “Are you serious?”
Then she frowned and shrugged as she turned away.
I glanced at Angie. “You feel that way, too?”
Her eyes darted from me to Marissa before she let out a surrendering sigh. Her hands dropped to her sides and she gave me a helpless grin. “What do you want me to say? You’re not doing this to be mean, but you are kinda perfect. I get angry and I lash out. Marissa screws around with guys and does your dirty work.”
My mouth fell open. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
Marissa rolled her eyes and looked back with a frustrated growl. Her black hair swung back and her cheerleading skirt swished around from her pent-up emotion. “Oh come on, Alex. You don’t say anything wrong. You don’t do anything wrong. You always look gorgeous. I mean, look at you. You’re tall, thin; you’ve got a nice ass and boobs. Ethan was drop dead gorgeous and you’re the female version of him, all dark eyes and full lips. I feel like you wake up and your skin naturally sparkles.”
Angie barked out a laugh. “And here I thought she woke up in the morning and little birds helped do her hair up.”
They shared another look of amusement. “And mice run in her dress while the birds drop it over her. And everything fits perfectly as her horse puts his head through the door’s window and has her hairbrush in his mouth.”
They dissolved into laughter, but I could only stand there in shock. Really? That was how they thought of me? A disgruntled rumble started in my stomach and I felt it rise up at an alarming rate. I was nauseous a second later and felt vomit in my throat. Did they not realize what they had lectured me on a month ago? But maybe they didn’t remember it. Maybe they had forgotten how Jesse only had to snap his finger and I was at his beck and call.
A shiver raced up my spine. He was gone. I wouldn’t see him, I didn’t know when or if I would see him again.
When the bell rang, Marissa and Angie stopped sharing Snow White jokes at my expense and sighed. Angie groaned. “God, here we go. First period, girls.”
Marissa wiped at her eye and sniffed. “Yeah, we can do it. It’s the beginning of our last year.”
I looked at them as if they’d both lost their heads.
They rolled their eyes at my expression. Angie headed out first with a grin, “I’m off to college biology. See you two later.”
Two other cheerleaders whisked Marissa away before either of us could reply, but as I watched them, I was happy for them. Justin held his arm out for Angie as she came to his side, and the two of them walked together down the hallway. On the other end of the hallway was Marissa. Half of her friends seemed to bounce in excitement down the hallway while the other half, like her, seemed to sexily stalk down the hallway. Guys turned and watched their group. From the hidden smirks and winks, Marissa’s friends were fully aware of the power they had over the male population.
“Hi!”
I jumped out of my skin as I whirled around. Then I patted my chest and tried to regain my breath as I saw Eric there. He had a small grin that matched the whites in his blue eyes, which were warm as he looked down at me.
“Hi.”
“What class do you have?”
“I have a free period now.”
“So…”
“So, probably the library. Why?”
“Oh.” He bobbed his head in approval. “A bunch of us are headed to the cafeteria. Its way easier to work and stuff there, plus there’s the vending machines too. We can’t snack in the library. Or talk. You wanna come? It’d be fun to talk.”
“Talk?”
“Yeah. Talk. You know, see how your summer went and everything. I was looking for you at a bunch of the parties this last month, but I didn’t see you. Were you sick?”
“Oh no.” Jesse had been at those parties. “Nothing like that.” I hadn’t wanted to prolong the goodbye or worse.
“Oh. Okay.” He scratched his head. When one of the football players shouted his name, he flashed them a grin. “So do you want to come? It’d be fun. Chester was in Mississippi all summer and I guess he’s got some doozies for stories.”
“Uh.” I was lost. Did I want to talk? Did that stand for more? And then I shook my head at myself. I needed to relax. “Yeah. I’ll come to talk.”
His smile froze for a moment, but then he doubled its brightness. “Good. That’s awesome. I’ll buy you a soda even.”
I laughed at myself. Oh dear. Look at me, so tense at getting a soda from someone. I was an idiot. “Thanks. I’ll get the next time.”
Eric laughed beside me as we turned for the cafeteria. “Sounds great. Think of it as a date.” And he winked at me before he opened the door over my head and I passed under his arm.
As I went through, something flooded me. It felt good, relaxing. It felt right; my chest loosened a little bit. I could breathe easier. And then I watched in horror where Eric sat. He tossed his bag to one empty stool and hopped on the other one. As he rested his forearms on the table, his smile seemed contagious to the people across from him. One of them, as my heart skipped a beat, was Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Shastaine.
She gave Eric a shy smile and then tucked a strand of her soft blonde hair back. When he turned and motioned for me to join them, she turned as well. The same horror was in her eyes. I saw it for a split second before she turned away, but it was enough. Hurt, fear, longing, and another emotion all flashed over her face. My chest was so tight again.
Sarah Shastaine was perfect. Angie and Marissa might’ve given me grief about being perfect, but she was the real deal. She was petite with a heart shaped face. She was nice. She was popular. So many guys lined up to date her and I heard one of them groan to his buddies. They wanted to scoop her up and shield her from the world. There was something fallen in her demeanor.
Had Jesse done that? Had he hurt her that much?
Had he broken her? Tears came to my eyes, but I held them at bay. Was he going to do the same to me? But that was preposterous. I hadn’t seen him in a month. I didn’t know the next time I would see him.
Marissa snorted. “Oh please. Let me handle her. It will be my pleasure, Alex. You just worry about being you, all perfect and beautiful. We mortals can only hope to be as perfect as you.”
My eyes went wide. Was she kidding? “Are you serious?”
Then she frowned and shrugged as she turned away.
I glanced at Angie. “You feel that way, too?”
Her eyes darted from me to Marissa before she let out a surrendering sigh. Her hands dropped to her sides and she gave me a helpless grin. “What do you want me to say? You’re not doing this to be mean, but you are kinda perfect. I get angry and I lash out. Marissa screws around with guys and does your dirty work.”
My mouth fell open. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
Marissa rolled her eyes and looked back with a frustrated growl. Her black hair swung back and her cheerleading skirt swished around from her pent-up emotion. “Oh come on, Alex. You don’t say anything wrong. You don’t do anything wrong. You always look gorgeous. I mean, look at you. You’re tall, thin; you’ve got a nice ass and boobs. Ethan was drop dead gorgeous and you’re the female version of him, all dark eyes and full lips. I feel like you wake up and your skin naturally sparkles.”
Angie barked out a laugh. “And here I thought she woke up in the morning and little birds helped do her hair up.”
They shared another look of amusement. “And mice run in her dress while the birds drop it over her. And everything fits perfectly as her horse puts his head through the door’s window and has her hairbrush in his mouth.”
They dissolved into laughter, but I could only stand there in shock. Really? That was how they thought of me? A disgruntled rumble started in my stomach and I felt it rise up at an alarming rate. I was nauseous a second later and felt vomit in my throat. Did they not realize what they had lectured me on a month ago? But maybe they didn’t remember it. Maybe they had forgotten how Jesse only had to snap his finger and I was at his beck and call.
A shiver raced up my spine. He was gone. I wouldn’t see him, I didn’t know when or if I would see him again.
When the bell rang, Marissa and Angie stopped sharing Snow White jokes at my expense and sighed. Angie groaned. “God, here we go. First period, girls.”
Marissa wiped at her eye and sniffed. “Yeah, we can do it. It’s the beginning of our last year.”
I looked at them as if they’d both lost their heads.
They rolled their eyes at my expression. Angie headed out first with a grin, “I’m off to college biology. See you two later.”
Two other cheerleaders whisked Marissa away before either of us could reply, but as I watched them, I was happy for them. Justin held his arm out for Angie as she came to his side, and the two of them walked together down the hallway. On the other end of the hallway was Marissa. Half of her friends seemed to bounce in excitement down the hallway while the other half, like her, seemed to sexily stalk down the hallway. Guys turned and watched their group. From the hidden smirks and winks, Marissa’s friends were fully aware of the power they had over the male population.
“Hi!”
I jumped out of my skin as I whirled around. Then I patted my chest and tried to regain my breath as I saw Eric there. He had a small grin that matched the whites in his blue eyes, which were warm as he looked down at me.
“Hi.”
“What class do you have?”
“I have a free period now.”
“So…”
“So, probably the library. Why?”
“Oh.” He bobbed his head in approval. “A bunch of us are headed to the cafeteria. Its way easier to work and stuff there, plus there’s the vending machines too. We can’t snack in the library. Or talk. You wanna come? It’d be fun to talk.”
“Talk?”
“Yeah. Talk. You know, see how your summer went and everything. I was looking for you at a bunch of the parties this last month, but I didn’t see you. Were you sick?”
“Oh no.” Jesse had been at those parties. “Nothing like that.” I hadn’t wanted to prolong the goodbye or worse.
“Oh. Okay.” He scratched his head. When one of the football players shouted his name, he flashed them a grin. “So do you want to come? It’d be fun. Chester was in Mississippi all summer and I guess he’s got some doozies for stories.”
“Uh.” I was lost. Did I want to talk? Did that stand for more? And then I shook my head at myself. I needed to relax. “Yeah. I’ll come to talk.”
His smile froze for a moment, but then he doubled its brightness. “Good. That’s awesome. I’ll buy you a soda even.”
I laughed at myself. Oh dear. Look at me, so tense at getting a soda from someone. I was an idiot. “Thanks. I’ll get the next time.”
Eric laughed beside me as we turned for the cafeteria. “Sounds great. Think of it as a date.” And he winked at me before he opened the door over my head and I passed under his arm.
As I went through, something flooded me. It felt good, relaxing. It felt right; my chest loosened a little bit. I could breathe easier. And then I watched in horror where Eric sat. He tossed his bag to one empty stool and hopped on the other one. As he rested his forearms on the table, his smile seemed contagious to the people across from him. One of them, as my heart skipped a beat, was Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Shastaine.
She gave Eric a shy smile and then tucked a strand of her soft blonde hair back. When he turned and motioned for me to join them, she turned as well. The same horror was in her eyes. I saw it for a split second before she turned away, but it was enough. Hurt, fear, longing, and another emotion all flashed over her face. My chest was so tight again.
Sarah Shastaine was perfect. Angie and Marissa might’ve given me grief about being perfect, but she was the real deal. She was petite with a heart shaped face. She was nice. She was popular. So many guys lined up to date her and I heard one of them groan to his buddies. They wanted to scoop her up and shield her from the world. There was something fallen in her demeanor.
Had Jesse done that? Had he hurt her that much?
Had he broken her? Tears came to my eyes, but I held them at bay. Was he going to do the same to me? But that was preposterous. I hadn’t seen him in a month. I didn’t know the next time I would see him.
