Changing Everything
Page 15
I ROLLED MY head to the side as Brett kissed my neck, and bit my lip when he nipped at the sensitive spot behind my ear.
“Are you hearing anything I’m saying?”
I shook my head at Kristen and smiled lazily. “Nope, what were . . . you . . . Kristen?” I took in her wide eyes and stiff posture, and turned to see what she was looking at.
My entire body froze, and feeling the way I’d stiffened, Brett stopped whispering in my ear and turned to look as well.
Eli was standing there across the table from us, his eyes glued to Brett and me.
Jason broke the awkward tension as he clapped Eli’s shoulder. “Sit down, glad you could make it.”
Eli didn’t sit, and Brett’s body seemed to get tighter and tighter. “Shit,” he whispered, and stood, extending his arm. “I’m Brett.” When Eli didn’t move or say anything, he continued, “You’re Eli. I’ve heard a lot about you from Paisley.”
Eli finally tore his eyes from me to look at him, but his expression was unreadable. Shaking Brett’s hand firmly, he raised an eyebrow. “Sorry to say I haven’t heard much about you.”
Brett smirked and cocked his head as he sat down. “Can’t imagine why,” he said dryly.
This wasn’t happening.
“This is awkward, we need pitchers!” Kristen called out, and looked around for a waitress.
When no one came to our table, and no one had said another word, Brett pressed his lips to my temple. “I’ll go.” I gripped his hand harder when he started to stand, and he bent close to my ear again. “Just try to talk. I’ll be back, love.”
Eli’s eyes never left mine, something I know Brett didn’t miss by the way his eyes lingered on the back of Eli’s head as he walked past him toward the bar.
“Pay,” Eli’s deep voice rumbled a minute after Brett walked away.
My chest burned, and my body was so tense I was positive I’d shatter if anyone touched me right now. But I ached for that voice. My eyes wanted to shut as it washed over me, and I knew goose bumps were covering my arms as a thousand different memories with Eli flashed through my mind.
“We need to talk,” he urged.
“Why didn’t you show up for her birthday?” Kristen bit out. “Or call?”
“Kristen,” Jason warned.
“I was in Texas. My sister was almost killed. Little bit of a family emergency.” Every word was clipped and sounded like it was coming from a robot. But it still got through to me.
Remembering his voice mail, my eyes widened. “Oh my God. Rachel? Is she okay?”
“She’s going to be fine.” Finally moving his eyes away from me, he glanced at Kristen for a few seconds. “I called Paisley that day.”
“He did?” she asked me.
I was back to trying to hold my rigid body together again now that Eli’s dark eyes were piercing into mine, but I somehow managed to nod. “He left a message, I didn’t know about it until after you were all gone . . . and it hadn’t explained anything other than he was in Texas because of Rachel.”
When Eli spoke again, his voice was devoid of emotion—but his eyes were telling me a hundred things. Things I couldn’t handle right now. “But that’s not why I want to talk to you,” he insisted.
I shook my head and tried to steady my shaking jaw. “I can’t talk to you about that,” I managed to whisper just as Brett came back.
After setting a pitcher down on the table, he put a glass of Guinness in front of Eli, and my eyes widened. I’d mentioned that in passing.
Looking at Brett, I wasn’t sure what I expected to find. Him smirking because he was trying to look better in front of me? Instead, his expression was solemn as he came to sit next to me.
His eyes darted to Eli once he was in his chair, and following his line of sight, my breath got caught in my throat to find him still intently watching me. Everything about Eli’s exterior screamed that he was ready to fight somebody—anybody. But his eyes were pleading with me to listen to him.
I couldn’t. I was sure if I did, I would want to believe him. I would forget about the years of heartache. I would do anything he asked me to.
Looking back over to Brett, I hated when I found him watching me too, his expression barely concealing his sadness.
I couldn’t sit here anymore. Not with these two men here.
One who was taking my heart, the other who still owned my soul.
Standing quickly, I ignored everyone calling my name and escaped from the bar and into the parking lot. Once I was outside, my steps turned into sprints until I reached Brett’s car. Bending over, I pressed my hands against my knees and took in staggering breaths.
It hadn’t been a far run, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I’d been holding my breath from the moment Eli had walked in. It felt like I was about to break.
“Come here,” Brett commanded gently, and pulled me upright so he could wrap his arms around me.
A hard sob burst from my chest, and my body began trembling violently—and I hated that he was seeing this.
Because he knew what this was, he knew who these tears were for, and that they had absolutely nothing to do with us.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay,” he crooned, and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
I gripped on to his shirt as I buried my head against his chest and cried. I didn’t understand how he could say that. Not now, not when he was caught in the middle of this and knew exactly what was going on. I shook my head quickly as I tried to pull in air, and Brett stood there calmly running his hand over my back.
“Come on, Paisley, I’ll take you home.”
“But—”
“This is hard for you, and you’re upset. Let me take you home so you have time to be alone to think about all this. And when you’re ready, you can come over and we’ll talk through whatever you’ve decided.”
I swallowed roughly. “No. Brett, no! I want to be with you.”
His full lips fell onto mine to quiet anything else I would say, and when he pulled back, his green eyes held mine. “You loved him first,” he said simply.
“But I’m—” I cut off and briefly debated whether or not to say the words that were begging to get out. With a weighted sigh, I admitted, “I’m falling in love with you.”
Brett exhaled in a rush, and offered me a sad smile “Christ, Paisley, I wish I could’ve told you how I’m falling madly in love with you under different circumstances, but it’s because I am that I have to give you this chance. All right?”
I nodded as more tears fell down my cheeks, and whimpered from the force of his next kiss.
“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay,” he whispered, then released me, and opened the passenger seat of his car.
As I slid into the car, I didn’t know how I was supposed to choose between the two. There was no obvious answer to me. I’d never met a man like Brett, and he’d been slowly putting together the shattered pieces of me from years with Eli as he’d quickly embedded himself in my heart and life. But there was no getting over someone like Eli, and I wondered how much it would hurt to live the rest of my life without him—because it was clear I couldn’t have both of them in my life. I wondered if the soul-deep ache would eventually fade, and if Eli would just become a fond memory as my first love, or if Kristen had been right, and I would always wonder what if.
“Are you hearing anything I’m saying?”
I shook my head at Kristen and smiled lazily. “Nope, what were . . . you . . . Kristen?” I took in her wide eyes and stiff posture, and turned to see what she was looking at.
My entire body froze, and feeling the way I’d stiffened, Brett stopped whispering in my ear and turned to look as well.
Eli was standing there across the table from us, his eyes glued to Brett and me.
Jason broke the awkward tension as he clapped Eli’s shoulder. “Sit down, glad you could make it.”
Eli didn’t sit, and Brett’s body seemed to get tighter and tighter. “Shit,” he whispered, and stood, extending his arm. “I’m Brett.” When Eli didn’t move or say anything, he continued, “You’re Eli. I’ve heard a lot about you from Paisley.”
Eli finally tore his eyes from me to look at him, but his expression was unreadable. Shaking Brett’s hand firmly, he raised an eyebrow. “Sorry to say I haven’t heard much about you.”
Brett smirked and cocked his head as he sat down. “Can’t imagine why,” he said dryly.
This wasn’t happening.
“This is awkward, we need pitchers!” Kristen called out, and looked around for a waitress.
When no one came to our table, and no one had said another word, Brett pressed his lips to my temple. “I’ll go.” I gripped his hand harder when he started to stand, and he bent close to my ear again. “Just try to talk. I’ll be back, love.”
Eli’s eyes never left mine, something I know Brett didn’t miss by the way his eyes lingered on the back of Eli’s head as he walked past him toward the bar.
“Pay,” Eli’s deep voice rumbled a minute after Brett walked away.
My chest burned, and my body was so tense I was positive I’d shatter if anyone touched me right now. But I ached for that voice. My eyes wanted to shut as it washed over me, and I knew goose bumps were covering my arms as a thousand different memories with Eli flashed through my mind.
“We need to talk,” he urged.
“Why didn’t you show up for her birthday?” Kristen bit out. “Or call?”
“Kristen,” Jason warned.
“I was in Texas. My sister was almost killed. Little bit of a family emergency.” Every word was clipped and sounded like it was coming from a robot. But it still got through to me.
Remembering his voice mail, my eyes widened. “Oh my God. Rachel? Is she okay?”
“She’s going to be fine.” Finally moving his eyes away from me, he glanced at Kristen for a few seconds. “I called Paisley that day.”
“He did?” she asked me.
I was back to trying to hold my rigid body together again now that Eli’s dark eyes were piercing into mine, but I somehow managed to nod. “He left a message, I didn’t know about it until after you were all gone . . . and it hadn’t explained anything other than he was in Texas because of Rachel.”
When Eli spoke again, his voice was devoid of emotion—but his eyes were telling me a hundred things. Things I couldn’t handle right now. “But that’s not why I want to talk to you,” he insisted.
I shook my head and tried to steady my shaking jaw. “I can’t talk to you about that,” I managed to whisper just as Brett came back.
After setting a pitcher down on the table, he put a glass of Guinness in front of Eli, and my eyes widened. I’d mentioned that in passing.
Looking at Brett, I wasn’t sure what I expected to find. Him smirking because he was trying to look better in front of me? Instead, his expression was solemn as he came to sit next to me.
His eyes darted to Eli once he was in his chair, and following his line of sight, my breath got caught in my throat to find him still intently watching me. Everything about Eli’s exterior screamed that he was ready to fight somebody—anybody. But his eyes were pleading with me to listen to him.
I couldn’t. I was sure if I did, I would want to believe him. I would forget about the years of heartache. I would do anything he asked me to.
Looking back over to Brett, I hated when I found him watching me too, his expression barely concealing his sadness.
I couldn’t sit here anymore. Not with these two men here.
One who was taking my heart, the other who still owned my soul.
Standing quickly, I ignored everyone calling my name and escaped from the bar and into the parking lot. Once I was outside, my steps turned into sprints until I reached Brett’s car. Bending over, I pressed my hands against my knees and took in staggering breaths.
It hadn’t been a far run, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I’d been holding my breath from the moment Eli had walked in. It felt like I was about to break.
“Come here,” Brett commanded gently, and pulled me upright so he could wrap his arms around me.
A hard sob burst from my chest, and my body began trembling violently—and I hated that he was seeing this.
Because he knew what this was, he knew who these tears were for, and that they had absolutely nothing to do with us.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay,” he crooned, and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
I gripped on to his shirt as I buried my head against his chest and cried. I didn’t understand how he could say that. Not now, not when he was caught in the middle of this and knew exactly what was going on. I shook my head quickly as I tried to pull in air, and Brett stood there calmly running his hand over my back.
“Come on, Paisley, I’ll take you home.”
“But—”
“This is hard for you, and you’re upset. Let me take you home so you have time to be alone to think about all this. And when you’re ready, you can come over and we’ll talk through whatever you’ve decided.”
I swallowed roughly. “No. Brett, no! I want to be with you.”
His full lips fell onto mine to quiet anything else I would say, and when he pulled back, his green eyes held mine. “You loved him first,” he said simply.
“But I’m—” I cut off and briefly debated whether or not to say the words that were begging to get out. With a weighted sigh, I admitted, “I’m falling in love with you.”
Brett exhaled in a rush, and offered me a sad smile “Christ, Paisley, I wish I could’ve told you how I’m falling madly in love with you under different circumstances, but it’s because I am that I have to give you this chance. All right?”
I nodded as more tears fell down my cheeks, and whimpered from the force of his next kiss.
“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay,” he whispered, then released me, and opened the passenger seat of his car.
As I slid into the car, I didn’t know how I was supposed to choose between the two. There was no obvious answer to me. I’d never met a man like Brett, and he’d been slowly putting together the shattered pieces of me from years with Eli as he’d quickly embedded himself in my heart and life. But there was no getting over someone like Eli, and I wondered how much it would hurt to live the rest of my life without him—because it was clear I couldn’t have both of them in my life. I wondered if the soul-deep ache would eventually fade, and if Eli would just become a fond memory as my first love, or if Kristen had been right, and I would always wonder what if.
