Chasing the Tide
Page 56
But I needed to talk to him. Even though I had sworn I wouldn’t anymore. I needed what he gave me. Acceptance. Love. Comfort.
“Talk to me, Flynn,” I said softly.
Flynn slammed his locker shut and peeked up at me through the thick strands of his dark hair. “I hate your hair,” he said and walked away.
Why did it feel as though he were saying that he hated me?
**
“I want you to come with me to see Leonard,” Flynn announced later that day. Since deciding to go to New York, we had spent the entire morning looking at pictures and street plans of Manhattan. I wasn’t even sure exactly where Nadine lived, but I sure as hell wouldn’t tell Flynn that. That would have thrown him into a tailspin.
“Uh, yeah. Okay,” I said, though not entirely sure how I felt with the idea of seeing Flynn’s shrink. I had been through more than enough therapists for one lifetime. But I also knew that Leonard was an integral part of Flynn’s life. That it was Leonard who helped him grow comfortable with pushing his boundaries. Just as Flynn’s counselor Kevin had done before him.
“I have an appointment tomorrow after work. You can meet me at my office and we can drive over together,” he said.
“That sounds fine,” I said, suddenly very nervous. I didn’t like the idea of being picked apart by anyone. Particularly someone that I knew would be looking for things to analyze. And I’m sure I’d give this Leonard dude all kinds of things to analyze.
Flynn smiled. “Leonard helps me out a lot. I’m glad you’re coming with me to see him.”
I gave him a strained smile in return. “I’m happy to,” I lied.
Flynn pulled on his boots and coat. “I’m taking Murphy outside,” he announced. I stayed on my spot on the couch, not wanting to go out in the cold.
“You’re not coming,” he noticed, looping the leash around Murphy’s neck.
“I think I’ve had enough walking through the snow for one day,” I said.
“I hate the snow. It’s cold and wet and makes my toes numb. But Murphy likes the snow so I’ll go outside.” He seemed so resigned that it was cute.
I watched Flynn and Murphy in the yard. One of the few times he actually laughed was with his dog. My heart swelled at the sight of Flynn grinning and playing in a way that as completely out of character. Particularly given his dislike for the cold, wet stuff.
Flynn was coming to New York with me but I wondered if my insistence was a mistake. I wanted to share that experience with him so badly but then I remembered how hard it had been for him to go to Franklinburg. I thought about his time at the beach and even though he seemed to enjoy it more than he thought he would, it was still a struggle for him. He had flipped out when he couldn’t find the right turn off and I had to drive the rest of the way to the hotel.
And then there was his mini melt down after my graduation. That had only been a little over a month ago. What in the hell was I thinking?
But Leonard seemed to be pushing him to do things outside of his comfort zone. Maybe this could be helpful to him and not a huge, giant disaster waiting to happen.
And maybe I was completely delusional.
I called Nadine, still watching my boyfriend and his dog romping around in the snow. Flynn tripped and fell face first in the cold, wet slush. And he didn’t freak out. He laughed. And it made me warm inside to see.
“Ellie!” Nadine said after answering the phone.
“Hey Nadine! How are you?”
“Well, I’m on a smoke break, freezing my ass off. How about you?”
Flynn started to race Murphy across the yard. I chuckled when the dog knocked the back of his knees, sending him sprawling once again.
“We got almost a foot of snow last night. So I’m home, trying to stay warm. Though Flynn seems to think sixty degrees is more than comfortable,” I muttered, pulling a wool throw off the back of the couch and covering my legs.
“That sounds miserable,” Nadine sympathized.
“I’ll live. So what’s new with you?” I asked.
“You know, just working the grind. Drinking my weight in alcohol. Embracing my youth,” Nadine replied blandly, and I laughed.
“Oh guess what! I was going through some stuff from school the other day and I found those horrible pleather pants that you made me wear. I could have sworn I threw those things out! When did you sneak them in my stuff?” Nadine accused good-naturedly.
“Before I left. I didn’t want you to forget about me,” I chuckled, thinking about those crazy pants and the fact that I still couldn’t believe Nadine had convinced me to wear them.
It had been my first month at school and I wasn’t doing much in the way of socializing or trying to make friends. I was making do with monosyllabic mumbling and hand gestures when spoken to. It was working so far, though I was starting to feel like the weird cat lady of the dorm, sans furry felines.
I was at least a few years older than most of the other students, though I was residing in an upper classmen dormitory. I felt more than a little out of place, even without my country hick upbringing.
So I went to classes. I hung out in the library. I got a job at the campus bookstore, which provided all the social interaction I required. When I wasn’t at any of those places, I was holed up in my room, reading or completing homework.
But I was lonely. Damn it all to hell, I actually wished I had someone to hang out with. I didn’t like people. I typically avoided social interactions like the plague. But I was a fish out of water and I just kind of wanted someone to talk to. Especially since Flynn’s limited communications skills were proving even more impaired over a telephone.
“Talk to me, Flynn,” I said softly.
Flynn slammed his locker shut and peeked up at me through the thick strands of his dark hair. “I hate your hair,” he said and walked away.
Why did it feel as though he were saying that he hated me?
**
“I want you to come with me to see Leonard,” Flynn announced later that day. Since deciding to go to New York, we had spent the entire morning looking at pictures and street plans of Manhattan. I wasn’t even sure exactly where Nadine lived, but I sure as hell wouldn’t tell Flynn that. That would have thrown him into a tailspin.
“Uh, yeah. Okay,” I said, though not entirely sure how I felt with the idea of seeing Flynn’s shrink. I had been through more than enough therapists for one lifetime. But I also knew that Leonard was an integral part of Flynn’s life. That it was Leonard who helped him grow comfortable with pushing his boundaries. Just as Flynn’s counselor Kevin had done before him.
“I have an appointment tomorrow after work. You can meet me at my office and we can drive over together,” he said.
“That sounds fine,” I said, suddenly very nervous. I didn’t like the idea of being picked apart by anyone. Particularly someone that I knew would be looking for things to analyze. And I’m sure I’d give this Leonard dude all kinds of things to analyze.
Flynn smiled. “Leonard helps me out a lot. I’m glad you’re coming with me to see him.”
I gave him a strained smile in return. “I’m happy to,” I lied.
Flynn pulled on his boots and coat. “I’m taking Murphy outside,” he announced. I stayed on my spot on the couch, not wanting to go out in the cold.
“You’re not coming,” he noticed, looping the leash around Murphy’s neck.
“I think I’ve had enough walking through the snow for one day,” I said.
“I hate the snow. It’s cold and wet and makes my toes numb. But Murphy likes the snow so I’ll go outside.” He seemed so resigned that it was cute.
I watched Flynn and Murphy in the yard. One of the few times he actually laughed was with his dog. My heart swelled at the sight of Flynn grinning and playing in a way that as completely out of character. Particularly given his dislike for the cold, wet stuff.
Flynn was coming to New York with me but I wondered if my insistence was a mistake. I wanted to share that experience with him so badly but then I remembered how hard it had been for him to go to Franklinburg. I thought about his time at the beach and even though he seemed to enjoy it more than he thought he would, it was still a struggle for him. He had flipped out when he couldn’t find the right turn off and I had to drive the rest of the way to the hotel.
And then there was his mini melt down after my graduation. That had only been a little over a month ago. What in the hell was I thinking?
But Leonard seemed to be pushing him to do things outside of his comfort zone. Maybe this could be helpful to him and not a huge, giant disaster waiting to happen.
And maybe I was completely delusional.
I called Nadine, still watching my boyfriend and his dog romping around in the snow. Flynn tripped and fell face first in the cold, wet slush. And he didn’t freak out. He laughed. And it made me warm inside to see.
“Ellie!” Nadine said after answering the phone.
“Hey Nadine! How are you?”
“Well, I’m on a smoke break, freezing my ass off. How about you?”
Flynn started to race Murphy across the yard. I chuckled when the dog knocked the back of his knees, sending him sprawling once again.
“We got almost a foot of snow last night. So I’m home, trying to stay warm. Though Flynn seems to think sixty degrees is more than comfortable,” I muttered, pulling a wool throw off the back of the couch and covering my legs.
“That sounds miserable,” Nadine sympathized.
“I’ll live. So what’s new with you?” I asked.
“You know, just working the grind. Drinking my weight in alcohol. Embracing my youth,” Nadine replied blandly, and I laughed.
“Oh guess what! I was going through some stuff from school the other day and I found those horrible pleather pants that you made me wear. I could have sworn I threw those things out! When did you sneak them in my stuff?” Nadine accused good-naturedly.
“Before I left. I didn’t want you to forget about me,” I chuckled, thinking about those crazy pants and the fact that I still couldn’t believe Nadine had convinced me to wear them.
It had been my first month at school and I wasn’t doing much in the way of socializing or trying to make friends. I was making do with monosyllabic mumbling and hand gestures when spoken to. It was working so far, though I was starting to feel like the weird cat lady of the dorm, sans furry felines.
I was at least a few years older than most of the other students, though I was residing in an upper classmen dormitory. I felt more than a little out of place, even without my country hick upbringing.
So I went to classes. I hung out in the library. I got a job at the campus bookstore, which provided all the social interaction I required. When I wasn’t at any of those places, I was holed up in my room, reading or completing homework.
But I was lonely. Damn it all to hell, I actually wished I had someone to hang out with. I didn’t like people. I typically avoided social interactions like the plague. But I was a fish out of water and I just kind of wanted someone to talk to. Especially since Flynn’s limited communications skills were proving even more impaired over a telephone.
