Christmas on 4th Street
Page 22
He hadn’t known that for sure. “Okay, an interesting concept.”
“Gideon doesn’t know what to think, but I’m pleased by the news. Carter will enjoy having his grandparents around. Aside from his father, they are his only direct biological relatives. Having grandparents will add to his sense of connection and stability. When Gideon and I have a baby, your parents will be helpful.”
“Won’t that bother you? Don’t you worry they’ll get in the way?”
She shook her head. “I grew up without any family. My parents...” She drew in a breath. “I was on my own from an early age and an emancipated minor by the time I was fifteen. I welcome family, even if they are only related by marriage.” She picked up several spools of ribbon. “Gideon says I have to let you be. It’s the only reason I haven’t asked you about staying in town.”
“You listen to my brother?” he asked, mostly to distract her. “You’re ten times smarter than him.”
“I have more intellectual knowledge, but he’s much more in tune with how regular people think and feel. I depend on him.”
She was so sincere, he felt bad for teasing her. “He’s a good guy and he’s lucky to have you.”
“Thank you. I’m lucky, as well. I’m sorry you don’t have anyone special in your life. There must be a reason.”
Which sounded uncomfortably like Ana Raquel’s comment that he’d reached an age where he was going to have to explain why he was still single.
“Gideon believed love would make him weak,” she continued. “That the only way he stayed strong was to be emotionally separate.” She studied him. “I hope you don’t think that.”
“Life is short. It could all be gone tomorrow.”
Her green eyes regarded him thoughtfully. “You don’t want to take the chance.”
“Something like that.”
“I could provide some statistics on the likelihood of you losing your wife at an early age. Based on actuarial tables, of course.” Her gaze turned speculative. “If you had someone specific in mind, I could factor in any known lifestyle or health risks.”
“Asking about me and Noelle?”
“I’m curious as to the status of your relationship.”
He crossed to her and took the ribbons from her hands, then hugged her. “Like I said, Gideon is lucky.”
“You’re attempting to distract me with a show of affection. I’m not going to forget the question.”
He chuckled as she hugged him back. “And I’m not going to answer it.”
She sighed. “You can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“No, I can’t.”
“You went to a lot of trouble for someone you won’t admit you care about.”
He thought about how happy Noelle had been as she’d planned for the contest and how everything had gone wrong. He thought of how distant he’d been, for reasons he still couldn’t explain. How he’d probably hurt her.
He should have explained, he thought grimly. He should have told her...what? What would he have said? That he liked being with her more than he’d liked being with anyone else? That she was sweet and funny and with her he could almost believe in forever? But then what? He wasn’t staying and even if he was, he didn’t want to care that much. He didn’t want to take the risk. What if he loved her only to lose her?
“She deserves someone better,” he said at last. Someone who was willing to risk it all.
“That’s the thing about love,” Felicia told him. “We often get more than we deserve, and isn’t that incredibly wonderful?”
* * *
“I don’t understand,” Noelle said as she stared at the window display. Colorful lights flashed on and off in time with the music. A beautiful tree reached to the top of the window, while three robots moved back and forth, carefully wrapping presents.
She’d spent a restless night, checking on her new cat families and worrying about Gabriel. After checking in with Mayor Marsha and explaining about their time at the cabin, she’d found herself with nothing to do. She couldn’t even make replacement food for the cabin freezer. The mayor had told her there was a committee in town that handled stocking the cabin. Everything would be taken care of. Noelle had promised to drop off the laundered linens by the end of the week. Which left her with very little to do and way too much time.
She’d nearly called Gabriel a dozen times, only to realize she didn’t know what to say. She’d wondered if he’d been thinking about her at all, only to discover he’d done this for her.
“We had a great time,” Felicia admitted, hugging her. “The whole family worked together. It was an excellent bonding experience. I must remember this for the future. If any situation starts to get too uncomfortable, a shared task will bring people together.”
She pointed to different elements of their design and then explained how to work the various remotes that controlled everything.
“I know the judging is this morning,” Felicia said, “but it would be very gratifying if you would keep the decorations up for a few days.”
Noelle leaned against her friend. “I’ll keep them up forever.”
“That’s excessive,” Felicia told her. “However I appreciate the spirit of your words.” She studied the window. “The craft element was very satisfying. Perhaps I should take a class and learn to knit.”
Noelle grinned, thinking her friend would probably come up with a more efficient way to create wool in the process. Or maybe invent a new fabric.
“I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“Of course we did,” Felicia told her. “We love you. Well, I love you and Carter and Gideon like you very much. Gideon’s parents don’t know you very well and I can’t speak to Gabriel’s feelings, but he seemed very determined.”
He wanted to help, Noelle thought. The foolish, how-he-makes-me-quiver part of her wanted to believe that this meant something. The pragmatic side of her brain warned her that one window display did not a relationship make.
“You must be exhausted,” Noelle said. “Are you going to go home and get some sleep?”
“No, I want to stay awake and experiment with the deterioration of my cognitive functions due to sleep deprivation. It should be interesting.”
Noelle patted her back. “You really do need to take up a hobby.”
Chapter 12
Noelle clutched the second place ribbon in her hand. She knew she was grinning foolishly, but she couldn’t help herself. Second place! And it was her first contest. She couldn’t take the credit—Gabriel and his family had done all the work, but she was still thrilled to be with the other business owners, by the big Christmas tree, hearing words of praise from Mayor Marsha.
Josh Golden, the owner of the winning window, took his small trophy and winked at her. “I think I’m going to be in trouble next year. Noelle is going to figure out what this is all about.”
“Bribing the judges with donuts,” someone in the back of the crowd yelled. Josh grinned.
Noelle leaned against Patience. “This is the best,” she said. “I’m so happy. Next year, I’ll start early with the planning. I love the animation. Felicia already said she and Carter would help me with that. I am so going to crush Josh like a bug.”
Patience patted her on the back. “That’s the competitive spirit we celebrate most at Christmas.”
Noelle laughed. “I can’t help it. I came in second!”
Melissa joined them. “I love that it all worked out in the end.”
They all made their way back to their stores. Patience ducked into Brew-haha while Noelle and Melissa turned on 4th and headed for The Christmas Attic.
Gabriel was helping a customer with a Christmas clock. He looked up as she entered. His blue eyes were unreadable, his expression pleasant, but distant.
He was back, she thought with both surprise and pleasure. She still didn’t know what had happened or how to fix it. She genuinely believed she had nothing to apologize for, but that didn’t mean there weren’t questions. She supposed she could demand an explanation, but to what end? Letting him be seemed the wisest course of action. If he needed to disconnect, nothing she could say would stop him. If he figured it out and wanted to be close to her again, she was open to that as long as she got a reasonable explanation for his behavior. But that didn’t mean she was going to ignore what he’d done for her.
She walked over to him. “Thank you,” she said quietly, as his customer examined the clock. “The window is so wonderful.”
“You’re welcome.” His gaze lingered for a second, giving her foolish hope.
She gave him a quick smile and hung the ribbon on the back of the cash register, then went to take off her coat so she could return to work.
The morning was busy. Her friend Charlie came in to look at ornaments for her mother. They settled on a delicate ballerina made of blown glass. Isabel called to say another bridesmaid gown had come in.
“I know we picked one,” Isabel said over the phone. “But this one is great, too, and would so suit your skinny ass, about which I’m bitter.”
“You’re incredibly beautiful and Ford loves you.”
“Yeah, well, I’d love me better if I could lose ten pounds. But just saying that makes me want to eat a cookie.” She sighed. “My life is complicated. Anyway, come by when you can and you can try them on at the same time and make a decision.”
“My skinny ass and I will be there this afternoon,” Noelle said with a laugh.
“Nativity crisis,” Melissa murmured as she hurried by with two wreaths in her hands.
Noelle turned and saw a middle-aged female tourist wiping away tears.
“Gotta go,” she told Isabel. “I’ll be by later.”
She hung up, then hurried over to the customer.
“Can I help you?” she asked, careful to keep her voice gentle.
The woman looked at her. “I’m sorry. I’m being silly. It’s just these ridiculous gourds you have. Who would make a gourd nativity? Only it reminds me of when I was a little girl and I spent Christmas with my great-grandmother because my mom was having my little brother. I didn’t know Nana very well. To be honest, she frightened me. She was so stern and she had a strange accent. All very daunting to a four-year-old. But I learned she was sweet and funny and she had a nativity of old dried apples. Something her grandmother had made. It was unusual, but also beautiful and this reminds me of that.”
More tears flowed.
“I have to have this,” the woman said.
“You’re exactly who it’s been waiting for,” Noelle told her with a smile.
* * *
Gabriel was clear on his actions. He’d been avoiding Noelle. He’d shown up for work, but he had nothing to do with her beyond polite work-related conversation. It was as if they were strangers who didn’t like each other very much.
He’d expected her to glower at him. Or fire him. Something. But she’d thanked him for what he’d done and then went about her business with a friendly smile for everyone—even him. Even now, as she ushered a sobbing customer to the cash register, that ridiculous gourd nativity in her hands, she gave him a quick grin.
What he and his family had done for her window display didn’t make up for his bad manners after a night of incredible love-making. He felt like the Grinch after stealing all the presents. The Whos down in Whoville really didn’t need the trappings of Christmas to celebrate the season. They were happy anyway, and so was she.
He didn’t get it. Why wasn’t she pissed? Or demanding an explanation? They’d slept together. They’d been physically and emotionally intimate and then he’d turned his back on her without bothering to tell her why. Didn’t that make her want to beat the crap out of him?
Either she was the best actress ever or she genuinely wasn’t bothered. He suspected the latter had to be true, which only bugged him more.
Shortly after five, when they were wrapping up for the day, he followed her into the back room and closed the door behind them.
She looked at him. “What’s up?” she asked.
“You’re not mad.”
“Should I be?”
“Yes. You should be furious. We had sex at the cabin and then I disappeared. Emotionally if not physically. I couldn’t deal with you.”
“But you took care of my Christmas window.”
“That has nothing to do with sex.”
“Good to know. Okay—you disappeared. Do you know why?”
He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, then pulled them back out. The space was too small, he thought grimly as he tried to pace, only to find himself trapped by boxes and the small desk she used.
“It was more than I could handle,” he admitted, facing her. “You, us, the cats. I can’t do what you want. Be what you need. There’s too much in my head. I’m going back.”
“To the army?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I should.”
“Do you want to?”
A question for which he didn’t have an answer. “I make a difference there,” he said at last. “I need to keep making a difference. Sometimes there are so many of them,” he added, thinking of the dream he would never tell her about.
She studied him for a long time, then nodded slowly. “You think I can’t handle it. Whatever you have going on. You think I’m not strong enough.”
“Look, you’re here in this world. Even if I could get past believing I could lose everything I care about in a second, even if I was willing to take the risk, I can’t. Look at this place. It’s Fool’s Gold. They have elephants dressed as Santa in their parades. I think the world I know would make you a different person.”
“Gideon doesn’t know what to think, but I’m pleased by the news. Carter will enjoy having his grandparents around. Aside from his father, they are his only direct biological relatives. Having grandparents will add to his sense of connection and stability. When Gideon and I have a baby, your parents will be helpful.”
“Won’t that bother you? Don’t you worry they’ll get in the way?”
She shook her head. “I grew up without any family. My parents...” She drew in a breath. “I was on my own from an early age and an emancipated minor by the time I was fifteen. I welcome family, even if they are only related by marriage.” She picked up several spools of ribbon. “Gideon says I have to let you be. It’s the only reason I haven’t asked you about staying in town.”
“You listen to my brother?” he asked, mostly to distract her. “You’re ten times smarter than him.”
“I have more intellectual knowledge, but he’s much more in tune with how regular people think and feel. I depend on him.”
She was so sincere, he felt bad for teasing her. “He’s a good guy and he’s lucky to have you.”
“Thank you. I’m lucky, as well. I’m sorry you don’t have anyone special in your life. There must be a reason.”
Which sounded uncomfortably like Ana Raquel’s comment that he’d reached an age where he was going to have to explain why he was still single.
“Gideon believed love would make him weak,” she continued. “That the only way he stayed strong was to be emotionally separate.” She studied him. “I hope you don’t think that.”
“Life is short. It could all be gone tomorrow.”
Her green eyes regarded him thoughtfully. “You don’t want to take the chance.”
“Something like that.”
“I could provide some statistics on the likelihood of you losing your wife at an early age. Based on actuarial tables, of course.” Her gaze turned speculative. “If you had someone specific in mind, I could factor in any known lifestyle or health risks.”
“Asking about me and Noelle?”
“I’m curious as to the status of your relationship.”
He crossed to her and took the ribbons from her hands, then hugged her. “Like I said, Gideon is lucky.”
“You’re attempting to distract me with a show of affection. I’m not going to forget the question.”
He chuckled as she hugged him back. “And I’m not going to answer it.”
She sighed. “You can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“No, I can’t.”
“You went to a lot of trouble for someone you won’t admit you care about.”
He thought about how happy Noelle had been as she’d planned for the contest and how everything had gone wrong. He thought of how distant he’d been, for reasons he still couldn’t explain. How he’d probably hurt her.
He should have explained, he thought grimly. He should have told her...what? What would he have said? That he liked being with her more than he’d liked being with anyone else? That she was sweet and funny and with her he could almost believe in forever? But then what? He wasn’t staying and even if he was, he didn’t want to care that much. He didn’t want to take the risk. What if he loved her only to lose her?
“She deserves someone better,” he said at last. Someone who was willing to risk it all.
“That’s the thing about love,” Felicia told him. “We often get more than we deserve, and isn’t that incredibly wonderful?”
* * *
“I don’t understand,” Noelle said as she stared at the window display. Colorful lights flashed on and off in time with the music. A beautiful tree reached to the top of the window, while three robots moved back and forth, carefully wrapping presents.
She’d spent a restless night, checking on her new cat families and worrying about Gabriel. After checking in with Mayor Marsha and explaining about their time at the cabin, she’d found herself with nothing to do. She couldn’t even make replacement food for the cabin freezer. The mayor had told her there was a committee in town that handled stocking the cabin. Everything would be taken care of. Noelle had promised to drop off the laundered linens by the end of the week. Which left her with very little to do and way too much time.
She’d nearly called Gabriel a dozen times, only to realize she didn’t know what to say. She’d wondered if he’d been thinking about her at all, only to discover he’d done this for her.
“We had a great time,” Felicia admitted, hugging her. “The whole family worked together. It was an excellent bonding experience. I must remember this for the future. If any situation starts to get too uncomfortable, a shared task will bring people together.”
She pointed to different elements of their design and then explained how to work the various remotes that controlled everything.
“I know the judging is this morning,” Felicia said, “but it would be very gratifying if you would keep the decorations up for a few days.”
Noelle leaned against her friend. “I’ll keep them up forever.”
“That’s excessive,” Felicia told her. “However I appreciate the spirit of your words.” She studied the window. “The craft element was very satisfying. Perhaps I should take a class and learn to knit.”
Noelle grinned, thinking her friend would probably come up with a more efficient way to create wool in the process. Or maybe invent a new fabric.
“I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“Of course we did,” Felicia told her. “We love you. Well, I love you and Carter and Gideon like you very much. Gideon’s parents don’t know you very well and I can’t speak to Gabriel’s feelings, but he seemed very determined.”
He wanted to help, Noelle thought. The foolish, how-he-makes-me-quiver part of her wanted to believe that this meant something. The pragmatic side of her brain warned her that one window display did not a relationship make.
“You must be exhausted,” Noelle said. “Are you going to go home and get some sleep?”
“No, I want to stay awake and experiment with the deterioration of my cognitive functions due to sleep deprivation. It should be interesting.”
Noelle patted her back. “You really do need to take up a hobby.”
Chapter 12
Noelle clutched the second place ribbon in her hand. She knew she was grinning foolishly, but she couldn’t help herself. Second place! And it was her first contest. She couldn’t take the credit—Gabriel and his family had done all the work, but she was still thrilled to be with the other business owners, by the big Christmas tree, hearing words of praise from Mayor Marsha.
Josh Golden, the owner of the winning window, took his small trophy and winked at her. “I think I’m going to be in trouble next year. Noelle is going to figure out what this is all about.”
“Bribing the judges with donuts,” someone in the back of the crowd yelled. Josh grinned.
Noelle leaned against Patience. “This is the best,” she said. “I’m so happy. Next year, I’ll start early with the planning. I love the animation. Felicia already said she and Carter would help me with that. I am so going to crush Josh like a bug.”
Patience patted her on the back. “That’s the competitive spirit we celebrate most at Christmas.”
Noelle laughed. “I can’t help it. I came in second!”
Melissa joined them. “I love that it all worked out in the end.”
They all made their way back to their stores. Patience ducked into Brew-haha while Noelle and Melissa turned on 4th and headed for The Christmas Attic.
Gabriel was helping a customer with a Christmas clock. He looked up as she entered. His blue eyes were unreadable, his expression pleasant, but distant.
He was back, she thought with both surprise and pleasure. She still didn’t know what had happened or how to fix it. She genuinely believed she had nothing to apologize for, but that didn’t mean there weren’t questions. She supposed she could demand an explanation, but to what end? Letting him be seemed the wisest course of action. If he needed to disconnect, nothing she could say would stop him. If he figured it out and wanted to be close to her again, she was open to that as long as she got a reasonable explanation for his behavior. But that didn’t mean she was going to ignore what he’d done for her.
She walked over to him. “Thank you,” she said quietly, as his customer examined the clock. “The window is so wonderful.”
“You’re welcome.” His gaze lingered for a second, giving her foolish hope.
She gave him a quick smile and hung the ribbon on the back of the cash register, then went to take off her coat so she could return to work.
The morning was busy. Her friend Charlie came in to look at ornaments for her mother. They settled on a delicate ballerina made of blown glass. Isabel called to say another bridesmaid gown had come in.
“I know we picked one,” Isabel said over the phone. “But this one is great, too, and would so suit your skinny ass, about which I’m bitter.”
“You’re incredibly beautiful and Ford loves you.”
“Yeah, well, I’d love me better if I could lose ten pounds. But just saying that makes me want to eat a cookie.” She sighed. “My life is complicated. Anyway, come by when you can and you can try them on at the same time and make a decision.”
“My skinny ass and I will be there this afternoon,” Noelle said with a laugh.
“Nativity crisis,” Melissa murmured as she hurried by with two wreaths in her hands.
Noelle turned and saw a middle-aged female tourist wiping away tears.
“Gotta go,” she told Isabel. “I’ll be by later.”
She hung up, then hurried over to the customer.
“Can I help you?” she asked, careful to keep her voice gentle.
The woman looked at her. “I’m sorry. I’m being silly. It’s just these ridiculous gourds you have. Who would make a gourd nativity? Only it reminds me of when I was a little girl and I spent Christmas with my great-grandmother because my mom was having my little brother. I didn’t know Nana very well. To be honest, she frightened me. She was so stern and she had a strange accent. All very daunting to a four-year-old. But I learned she was sweet and funny and she had a nativity of old dried apples. Something her grandmother had made. It was unusual, but also beautiful and this reminds me of that.”
More tears flowed.
“I have to have this,” the woman said.
“You’re exactly who it’s been waiting for,” Noelle told her with a smile.
* * *
Gabriel was clear on his actions. He’d been avoiding Noelle. He’d shown up for work, but he had nothing to do with her beyond polite work-related conversation. It was as if they were strangers who didn’t like each other very much.
He’d expected her to glower at him. Or fire him. Something. But she’d thanked him for what he’d done and then went about her business with a friendly smile for everyone—even him. Even now, as she ushered a sobbing customer to the cash register, that ridiculous gourd nativity in her hands, she gave him a quick grin.
What he and his family had done for her window display didn’t make up for his bad manners after a night of incredible love-making. He felt like the Grinch after stealing all the presents. The Whos down in Whoville really didn’t need the trappings of Christmas to celebrate the season. They were happy anyway, and so was she.
He didn’t get it. Why wasn’t she pissed? Or demanding an explanation? They’d slept together. They’d been physically and emotionally intimate and then he’d turned his back on her without bothering to tell her why. Didn’t that make her want to beat the crap out of him?
Either she was the best actress ever or she genuinely wasn’t bothered. He suspected the latter had to be true, which only bugged him more.
Shortly after five, when they were wrapping up for the day, he followed her into the back room and closed the door behind them.
She looked at him. “What’s up?” she asked.
“You’re not mad.”
“Should I be?”
“Yes. You should be furious. We had sex at the cabin and then I disappeared. Emotionally if not physically. I couldn’t deal with you.”
“But you took care of my Christmas window.”
“That has nothing to do with sex.”
“Good to know. Okay—you disappeared. Do you know why?”
He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, then pulled them back out. The space was too small, he thought grimly as he tried to pace, only to find himself trapped by boxes and the small desk she used.
“It was more than I could handle,” he admitted, facing her. “You, us, the cats. I can’t do what you want. Be what you need. There’s too much in my head. I’m going back.”
“To the army?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I should.”
“Do you want to?”
A question for which he didn’t have an answer. “I make a difference there,” he said at last. “I need to keep making a difference. Sometimes there are so many of them,” he added, thinking of the dream he would never tell her about.
She studied him for a long time, then nodded slowly. “You think I can’t handle it. Whatever you have going on. You think I’m not strong enough.”
“Look, you’re here in this world. Even if I could get past believing I could lose everything I care about in a second, even if I was willing to take the risk, I can’t. Look at this place. It’s Fool’s Gold. They have elephants dressed as Santa in their parades. I think the world I know would make you a different person.”
