Clipped by Love
Page 73
Fuck me.
Getting up slowly, Markus holds his hands up. “I swear, we were only talking.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh as Jayden glares at Markus.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to him,” I say, sending Jayden a look. “He isn’t that scary.”
“Yeah, because he likes you,” Markus mock-whispers before Jayden starts to laugh again.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you,” he says to me, and I look away, taking a deep breath. I’m not sure what he heard, and it makes me nervous. Then again, everything I said I’m pretty sure he already knows. But still, my tummy is doing flips, which could be because he is simply magnificent. He’s wearing that damn beanie again, and when the hell did I start getting attracted to beanies? I’m not a fan, I think they are dumb looking, but on him, with his scruffy jaw and green eyes blazing… Good Lord almighty, I’m officially a fan!
“No big deal, I was just leaving,” Markus says quickly before sidestepping him to get out of the room.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Can you not scare my friend, please?”
His eyes widen as he chortles. “So you’re making friends, eh?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “I was told it would be good for me.”
“Smart guy that told you that,” he says with a wink, and I grin.
“Maybe.” I hold his gaze, unsure what to do next. “Are you gonna come in?”
“No, let’s go for a walk,” he says before throwing my leather jacket at me.
“It’s chilly for a walk,” I say, putting my arms in it as I pull my sweat pants up since they were hanging low.
“Eh, we’ll be okay,” he says, and when I look up, his eyes are dark. “You get cold, I could keep you warm.”
“I bet you could,” I tease back as I zip my jacket up.
“All you have to do is ask,” he challenges, and I grin back at him.
It’s so funny how I’ve become comfortable with him. He’s the only person who I truly smile for. Even with my dad it’s sometimes forced just to make him happy, but Jayden, it’s different. He makes me happy. Which again, freaks me out because if it’s this easy to be comfortable with him, how am I going to be when I’m not with him. We will leave each other. I mean, we could go on the same team, but that’s so unrealistic and probably won’t happen. But above all that, how the hell do I even know he’ll like me once he gets to know me? I’m not that great.
Ugh, this shit is so hard.
Walking past him, I grumble at him, “Let’s roll.”
But he stops me, grabbing my wrist and whipping me around. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I lie, but he is already shaking his head before I’m even done speaking.
“Try again.”
Looking away, I let out a breath. “This is hard.”
“This?”
“Us.”
He nods then. “At least there is an us,” he says with a shrug and then he lets me go, the heat he caused gone as he heads down the hall.
As I watch him walk down the hall, I shake my head in disbelief. He’s so optimistic, almost like he knows this is going to work, and it drives me crazy. While it blows my mind at how ready he is to jump in, to just believe in us, I also admire it. He’s kind of reckless in a sense, and usually I’d run from that. I don’t like situations I can’t control, but this is one I can’t run from. I want to be reckless too, but I just don’t know how.
As we walk out of the house, he doesn’t say anything. Even when we get outside, the cold October air hitting my face, he is still silent. I’ve noticed that when he’s thinking or observing is when he is silent, and I just want to crawl inside his mind to find out what he is thinking. How much did he hear? And what does he think? Probably that I’m crazy, and I wouldn’t fight him on that. I’m usually so good at making decisions, but with him, it’s all just so puzzling. He’s the biggest challenge of my life thus far. One I want to win, but also one I’m scared of losing.
It isn’t until we are good five minutes from the Bullies house that he finally says something. “I heard what you said to Markus.”
Pausing, I bite the inside of my cheek. I could go with my first instinct and that’s to be mad, or I can play it off. Deciding to go with the latter, I say, “Eavesdropping, how rude.”
He flashes me a grin as he shrugs. “I see my teammate go into your room, I need to know why,”
“Why’s that?”
“Because no one needs to be in your room but me.”
“Already possessive,” I say with a shake of my head, and he smiles shyly at me.
“I like to think of it as protective.”
“That too,” I say with a laugh. “Either way, yeah, you heard it. What do you make of it?”
“That we need to put your fears to rest,” he says simply as he turns down the sidewalk by the quad.
“How do you suggest we do that?” I ask as we reach a little bridge that goes over a small lake. My first day here, I came out here and watched the geese swim. It’s very relaxing and pretty, but today no one is out. Probably because it’s cold as shit.
Leaning on the railing across from me, he crosses his arms and says, “We talk it out.”
Looking away, I cross my ankles and shrug. “I don’t really talk.”
“Yeah, I know, the only time you communicate is when you’re yelling.”
I meet his gaze as a grin pulls at my lips. “So why do you even want to deal with it?”
“Because I like you,” he declares, and that same thing that snapped before the day we had sex snaps again. It almost feels like my heart isn’t constricted anymore. That it’s beating hard and full of life as I get lost in his eyes. “And a strong-minded woman is the kind of woman I want. I want someone who’s gonna fight for what she believes in, and you do that. Except for right now. Right now, you’re being a little bit of a brat.”
“Wow, thanks,” I say with a scoff and he laughs.
“It’s because you’ve been hurt, and I get that. That’s why I’m still trying to get you to date me.”
I nod, biting into my lip. “So just hooking up is off the table?”
Getting up slowly, Markus holds his hands up. “I swear, we were only talking.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh as Jayden glares at Markus.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to him,” I say, sending Jayden a look. “He isn’t that scary.”
“Yeah, because he likes you,” Markus mock-whispers before Jayden starts to laugh again.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you,” he says to me, and I look away, taking a deep breath. I’m not sure what he heard, and it makes me nervous. Then again, everything I said I’m pretty sure he already knows. But still, my tummy is doing flips, which could be because he is simply magnificent. He’s wearing that damn beanie again, and when the hell did I start getting attracted to beanies? I’m not a fan, I think they are dumb looking, but on him, with his scruffy jaw and green eyes blazing… Good Lord almighty, I’m officially a fan!
“No big deal, I was just leaving,” Markus says quickly before sidestepping him to get out of the room.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Can you not scare my friend, please?”
His eyes widen as he chortles. “So you’re making friends, eh?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “I was told it would be good for me.”
“Smart guy that told you that,” he says with a wink, and I grin.
“Maybe.” I hold his gaze, unsure what to do next. “Are you gonna come in?”
“No, let’s go for a walk,” he says before throwing my leather jacket at me.
“It’s chilly for a walk,” I say, putting my arms in it as I pull my sweat pants up since they were hanging low.
“Eh, we’ll be okay,” he says, and when I look up, his eyes are dark. “You get cold, I could keep you warm.”
“I bet you could,” I tease back as I zip my jacket up.
“All you have to do is ask,” he challenges, and I grin back at him.
It’s so funny how I’ve become comfortable with him. He’s the only person who I truly smile for. Even with my dad it’s sometimes forced just to make him happy, but Jayden, it’s different. He makes me happy. Which again, freaks me out because if it’s this easy to be comfortable with him, how am I going to be when I’m not with him. We will leave each other. I mean, we could go on the same team, but that’s so unrealistic and probably won’t happen. But above all that, how the hell do I even know he’ll like me once he gets to know me? I’m not that great.
Ugh, this shit is so hard.
Walking past him, I grumble at him, “Let’s roll.”
But he stops me, grabbing my wrist and whipping me around. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I lie, but he is already shaking his head before I’m even done speaking.
“Try again.”
Looking away, I let out a breath. “This is hard.”
“This?”
“Us.”
He nods then. “At least there is an us,” he says with a shrug and then he lets me go, the heat he caused gone as he heads down the hall.
As I watch him walk down the hall, I shake my head in disbelief. He’s so optimistic, almost like he knows this is going to work, and it drives me crazy. While it blows my mind at how ready he is to jump in, to just believe in us, I also admire it. He’s kind of reckless in a sense, and usually I’d run from that. I don’t like situations I can’t control, but this is one I can’t run from. I want to be reckless too, but I just don’t know how.
As we walk out of the house, he doesn’t say anything. Even when we get outside, the cold October air hitting my face, he is still silent. I’ve noticed that when he’s thinking or observing is when he is silent, and I just want to crawl inside his mind to find out what he is thinking. How much did he hear? And what does he think? Probably that I’m crazy, and I wouldn’t fight him on that. I’m usually so good at making decisions, but with him, it’s all just so puzzling. He’s the biggest challenge of my life thus far. One I want to win, but also one I’m scared of losing.
It isn’t until we are good five minutes from the Bullies house that he finally says something. “I heard what you said to Markus.”
Pausing, I bite the inside of my cheek. I could go with my first instinct and that’s to be mad, or I can play it off. Deciding to go with the latter, I say, “Eavesdropping, how rude.”
He flashes me a grin as he shrugs. “I see my teammate go into your room, I need to know why,”
“Why’s that?”
“Because no one needs to be in your room but me.”
“Already possessive,” I say with a shake of my head, and he smiles shyly at me.
“I like to think of it as protective.”
“That too,” I say with a laugh. “Either way, yeah, you heard it. What do you make of it?”
“That we need to put your fears to rest,” he says simply as he turns down the sidewalk by the quad.
“How do you suggest we do that?” I ask as we reach a little bridge that goes over a small lake. My first day here, I came out here and watched the geese swim. It’s very relaxing and pretty, but today no one is out. Probably because it’s cold as shit.
Leaning on the railing across from me, he crosses his arms and says, “We talk it out.”
Looking away, I cross my ankles and shrug. “I don’t really talk.”
“Yeah, I know, the only time you communicate is when you’re yelling.”
I meet his gaze as a grin pulls at my lips. “So why do you even want to deal with it?”
“Because I like you,” he declares, and that same thing that snapped before the day we had sex snaps again. It almost feels like my heart isn’t constricted anymore. That it’s beating hard and full of life as I get lost in his eyes. “And a strong-minded woman is the kind of woman I want. I want someone who’s gonna fight for what she believes in, and you do that. Except for right now. Right now, you’re being a little bit of a brat.”
“Wow, thanks,” I say with a scoff and he laughs.
“It’s because you’ve been hurt, and I get that. That’s why I’m still trying to get you to date me.”
I nod, biting into my lip. “So just hooking up is off the table?”
