Cold Days
Page 93
I left them to pad across the apartment to my bedroom. To Molly's guest bedroom. I opened the door as quietly as I could so that I wouldn't wake Karrin, and went in to put on another secondhand shirt.
I found one that was plain black, with the Spider-Man emblem on it in white. The black uniform. The one that made Spidey switch teams for a bit, and which eventually gave him all kinds of grief. It seemed fitting.
I slipped into it and turned and nearly jumped out of my boots when Karrin quietly shut the bedroom door behind her.
I stood there for a long moment. The only light was from a single small, glowing candle.
Karrin faced me with an opaque expression. "You don't call," she said, one corner of her mouth quirked into an expression that wasn't a smile. "You don't write."
"Yeah," I said. "Coma."
"I heard," she said. She folded her arms and leaned back against the door. "Thomas and Molly both say it's really you."
"Yeah," I said. "How'd you find me?"
"Scanner. The last time a bomb went off in this town, it was in your office building. I hear another one goes off in the street, and then reports of explosions and gunfire out over the lake just after dawn this morning. Math wasn't hard to do."
"How'd you follow me?"
"I didn't," Murphy said. "I staked out Thomas's place and followed the guy who was following you." She moved a foot absently, touching the back of her other calf with it as if scratching an itch. "His name was Ace . . . something, right?"
I nodded. "You remember."
"I try to keep track of the bad guys," she said. "And on an entirely unrelated note . . . I hear you belong to Mab now."
The words hit me like a slap in the face. Karrin had been a detective for a long time. She knew how to manipulate a suspect.
I guessed I was a suspect, then.
"I'm not a cocker spaniel," I said quietly.
"I'm not saying you are," she said. "But there are creatures out there that can do things to your head, and we both know it."
"You think that's what happened?" I asked. "That Mab's bent my brain into new shapes?"
Her expression softened. "I think she'll do it slower," she said. "You're . . . an abrupt sort of person. Your solutions to problems tend to be decisive and to happen quickly. It's how you think. I'm willing to believe that you found some kind of way to prevent her from just . . . I don't know. Rewriting you."
"I told her if she tried it, I'd start being obstreperous."
"God," Karrin said. "You haven't started?"
She half smiled. For a second, it was almost okay.
But then her face darkened again. "I think she'll do itslower. An inch at a time, when you aren't looking. But even if she doesn't . . ."
"What?"
"I'm not angry at you, Harry," she said. "I don't hate you. I don't think you've gone bad. A lot of people have fallen into the trap you did. People better than either of us."
"Uh," I said. "The evil-Queen-of-Faerie trap?"
"Christ, Harry," Murphy said quietly. "No one just starts giggling and wearing black and signs up to become a villainous monster. How the hell do you think it happens?" She shook her head, her eyes pained. "It happens to people. Just people. They make questionable choices, for what might be very good reasons. They make choice after choice, and none of them is slaughtering roomfuls of saints, or murdering hundreds of baby seals, or rubber-room irrational. But it adds up. And then one day they look around and realize that they're so far over the line that they can't remember where it was."
I looked away from her. Something in my chest hurt. I didn't say anything.
"Do you understand that?" she asked me, her voice even more quiet. "Do you understand how treacherous the ground you're standing on has become?"
"Perfectly," I said.
She nodded a few times. Then she said, "I suppose that's something."
"That all?" I asked her. "I mean . . . is that the only reason you came in here?"
"Not quite," she said.
"You don't trust me," I said.
Her eyes didn't meet mine, and didn't avoid them either. "That will depend largely on the next few minutes."
I inhaled through my nose and out again, trying to stay calm, clear, even. "Okay," I said. "What do you want me to do?"
"The skull," she said. "I know what it is. So does Butters. And . . . it's too powerful to be left in the wrong hands."
"Meaning mine?" I asked.
"I'll tell you what I know. I know you broke into his house when he was at work and took it. I know you left Andi with cuts and bruises. And I know you wrecked the place a bit along the way."
"You think that means I've gone bad?"
She tilted her head slightly to one side, as if considering. "I think you were probably operating under some kind of harebrained lone-hero rationale. Let's say . . . that I'm concerned that you have enough things to juggle already."
I thought about snapping at her but . . . she had a point. Bob was a resource far too powerful to be allowed to fall into the hands of anyone who wouldn't use him responsibly. And I'd been doing the Winter Knight gig full speed for about twelve hours, and I'd already had some disturbing realizations about myself. Twelve hours.
I found one that was plain black, with the Spider-Man emblem on it in white. The black uniform. The one that made Spidey switch teams for a bit, and which eventually gave him all kinds of grief. It seemed fitting.
I slipped into it and turned and nearly jumped out of my boots when Karrin quietly shut the bedroom door behind her.
I stood there for a long moment. The only light was from a single small, glowing candle.
Karrin faced me with an opaque expression. "You don't call," she said, one corner of her mouth quirked into an expression that wasn't a smile. "You don't write."
"Yeah," I said. "Coma."
"I heard," she said. She folded her arms and leaned back against the door. "Thomas and Molly both say it's really you."
"Yeah," I said. "How'd you find me?"
"Scanner. The last time a bomb went off in this town, it was in your office building. I hear another one goes off in the street, and then reports of explosions and gunfire out over the lake just after dawn this morning. Math wasn't hard to do."
"How'd you follow me?"
"I didn't," Murphy said. "I staked out Thomas's place and followed the guy who was following you." She moved a foot absently, touching the back of her other calf with it as if scratching an itch. "His name was Ace . . . something, right?"
I nodded. "You remember."
"I try to keep track of the bad guys," she said. "And on an entirely unrelated note . . . I hear you belong to Mab now."
The words hit me like a slap in the face. Karrin had been a detective for a long time. She knew how to manipulate a suspect.
I guessed I was a suspect, then.
"I'm not a cocker spaniel," I said quietly.
"I'm not saying you are," she said. "But there are creatures out there that can do things to your head, and we both know it."
"You think that's what happened?" I asked. "That Mab's bent my brain into new shapes?"
Her expression softened. "I think she'll do it slower," she said. "You're . . . an abrupt sort of person. Your solutions to problems tend to be decisive and to happen quickly. It's how you think. I'm willing to believe that you found some kind of way to prevent her from just . . . I don't know. Rewriting you."
"I told her if she tried it, I'd start being obstreperous."
"God," Karrin said. "You haven't started?"
She half smiled. For a second, it was almost okay.
But then her face darkened again. "I think she'll do itslower. An inch at a time, when you aren't looking. But even if she doesn't . . ."
"What?"
"I'm not angry at you, Harry," she said. "I don't hate you. I don't think you've gone bad. A lot of people have fallen into the trap you did. People better than either of us."
"Uh," I said. "The evil-Queen-of-Faerie trap?"
"Christ, Harry," Murphy said quietly. "No one just starts giggling and wearing black and signs up to become a villainous monster. How the hell do you think it happens?" She shook her head, her eyes pained. "It happens to people. Just people. They make questionable choices, for what might be very good reasons. They make choice after choice, and none of them is slaughtering roomfuls of saints, or murdering hundreds of baby seals, or rubber-room irrational. But it adds up. And then one day they look around and realize that they're so far over the line that they can't remember where it was."
I looked away from her. Something in my chest hurt. I didn't say anything.
"Do you understand that?" she asked me, her voice even more quiet. "Do you understand how treacherous the ground you're standing on has become?"
"Perfectly," I said.
She nodded a few times. Then she said, "I suppose that's something."
"That all?" I asked her. "I mean . . . is that the only reason you came in here?"
"Not quite," she said.
"You don't trust me," I said.
Her eyes didn't meet mine, and didn't avoid them either. "That will depend largely on the next few minutes."
I inhaled through my nose and out again, trying to stay calm, clear, even. "Okay," I said. "What do you want me to do?"
"The skull," she said. "I know what it is. So does Butters. And . . . it's too powerful to be left in the wrong hands."
"Meaning mine?" I asked.
"I'll tell you what I know. I know you broke into his house when he was at work and took it. I know you left Andi with cuts and bruises. And I know you wrecked the place a bit along the way."
"You think that means I've gone bad?"
She tilted her head slightly to one side, as if considering. "I think you were probably operating under some kind of harebrained lone-hero rationale. Let's say . . . that I'm concerned that you have enough things to juggle already."
I thought about snapping at her but . . . she had a point. Bob was a resource far too powerful to be allowed to fall into the hands of anyone who wouldn't use him responsibly. And I'd been doing the Winter Knight gig full speed for about twelve hours, and I'd already had some disturbing realizations about myself. Twelve hours.
