Craving Constellations
Page 32
“I can’t believe you had my baby. She was all curled up in here, and I never saw it.” He shook his head. “This is all I’ll ever see, Brenna. This is all I get. Let me look.”
My breath caught in my throat as he spoke, and I took a small step back toward him after he explained what he was doing. He was mapping the changes like any other dad would. He didn’t get the chance to watch me grow, so now, he was following the scars like a map of what he’d missed.
I wished I could tell him all about it. I wished I could explain that I was overly large, that this many stretch marks weren’t normal, that I rarely got to sleep because there was always a baby awake in my belly, rolling around and kicking my ribs. I wished I could tell him how scared I was when I went into labor, how alone I felt, how much I missed him. But I didn’t say any of these things because if I would’ve, it could open up a discussion that I wasn’t ready for, and I didn’t think he was either.
Pounding on the door startled me back into the present, and I quickly grabbed a nightshirt and pulled it over my head. “Just a second, Trix! What do you need, baby?” I called through the door.
“I want Papa to tuck me in tonight! Okay?” she called back to me.
For a moment, I was in shock, but quickly afterward, I was jealous. She had never asked for anyone but me. I knew he was her dad, but I’d always done this on my own. She’d never asked for Tony to do anything with her. It had always been Trix and me against the world.
Before I could answer her, Dragon did it for me. “I’ll be right out, little warrior. Get in bed!” He slowly pushed himself to his feet. “Brenna, grab me a shirt outta my bag.” He nodded his head toward the end of the bed where I saw a black duffel bag.
“You could ask, you know?” I grumbled as I unzipped it and started pawing through his clothes.
“You want Trix to see me like this?” He gestured toward his chest.
“No, but—” I started to grumble again.
“Are you really trying to start a fight with me right now? I gotta tell you, I’m not in the mood.” He swayed a little on his feet.
I tossed a shirt at him that had snaps along the front. “Whatever. Just go tuck Trix in.”
I watched as he gingerly tried to slip the shirt up his arms, but it was a struggle because the muscles in his shoulders were so broad. I watched him for a second before I went over to help him pull it up. It was hard to watch him struggle at anything; he was usually so strong and self-assured. I couldn’t stand the thought of anything bringing him low. I started snapping the shirt from the bottom to the top, and when I glanced up at his face, he was grinning at me.
“You just can’t help yourself, can you? You were bitchin’ at me about fifteen seconds ago, and now, you’re dressing me like I’m Trix.” He shook his head. “So damn sweet, baby.”
My face was on fire. Fuck, this was embarrassing. I was just dressing him like a five-year-old, and I didn’t even realize it.
“Why don’t you get undressed and get into bed?” he whispered as he grabbed a hold of my head with both hands. “I’ll get Trix to bed and come back and trace all of those parts I haven’t seen in so long.” He kissed my lips softly and then finished talking against my mouth. “Remember how good it was, baby? How sensitive you are on your thighs? That sweet spot right under your ass cheeks? Fuck, I can’t wait to taste you.” He gave me one last kiss, his tongue rimming my lips, before he pulled open the door and went to Trix.
I stood there for a second, my body on fire and my thoughts scrambling, before I got it together. Twice in one night, he’d made me want to climb him like a tree. My panties were uncomfortably wet, and I wanted to change, but I couldn’t decide what to wear to bed. It would probably be a good idea to change into some flannel pajamas, considering the fact that the man was beaten to a pulp earlier, but it was just too damn hot in the house for anything more than what I was wearing.
He was out of his mind if he thought I was just going to strip down and do the dirty with him. Shit. My thoughts were all over the place tonight. I didn’t want to want him. I wasn’t even sure that Trix and I would be staying here for any length of time, and there were things that Dragon didn’t know, things I needed to tell him before we got into whatever this was any deeper.
I did want him though. My body ached for him. I wanted to lose myself in him and never worry about anything ever again. I was so tired of being the strong one; it would be nice to lean on someone else for a while. The problem with leaning on Dragon was that it could become a habit. I didn’t really know him anymore—if I ever really did in the first place. One night together did not make a relationship. I needed to figure out my head before I had sex with him. Mind-blowing, orgasm-inducing, wet, sweaty sex…shit! I didn’t think I was going to be able to resist him, and even though it was a very, very bad idea, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to.
I could hear Trix and Dragon talking, and I decided to be a little sneaky and eavesdrop on their conversation. I was curious what they had to talk about even though I probably shouldn’t have been. Trix could talk to a tree for hours and never run out of things to say. I crept out to the hallway and stood out of sight next to Trix’s doorway.
“Today, Auntie Vera came over and brought a bunch of Mama’s stuff. She said Mama’s ass was too big to fit into her jeans.”
“Don’t say ass, Trix. Your mama would flip if she heard you.”
My breath caught in my throat as he spoke, and I took a small step back toward him after he explained what he was doing. He was mapping the changes like any other dad would. He didn’t get the chance to watch me grow, so now, he was following the scars like a map of what he’d missed.
I wished I could tell him all about it. I wished I could explain that I was overly large, that this many stretch marks weren’t normal, that I rarely got to sleep because there was always a baby awake in my belly, rolling around and kicking my ribs. I wished I could tell him how scared I was when I went into labor, how alone I felt, how much I missed him. But I didn’t say any of these things because if I would’ve, it could open up a discussion that I wasn’t ready for, and I didn’t think he was either.
Pounding on the door startled me back into the present, and I quickly grabbed a nightshirt and pulled it over my head. “Just a second, Trix! What do you need, baby?” I called through the door.
“I want Papa to tuck me in tonight! Okay?” she called back to me.
For a moment, I was in shock, but quickly afterward, I was jealous. She had never asked for anyone but me. I knew he was her dad, but I’d always done this on my own. She’d never asked for Tony to do anything with her. It had always been Trix and me against the world.
Before I could answer her, Dragon did it for me. “I’ll be right out, little warrior. Get in bed!” He slowly pushed himself to his feet. “Brenna, grab me a shirt outta my bag.” He nodded his head toward the end of the bed where I saw a black duffel bag.
“You could ask, you know?” I grumbled as I unzipped it and started pawing through his clothes.
“You want Trix to see me like this?” He gestured toward his chest.
“No, but—” I started to grumble again.
“Are you really trying to start a fight with me right now? I gotta tell you, I’m not in the mood.” He swayed a little on his feet.
I tossed a shirt at him that had snaps along the front. “Whatever. Just go tuck Trix in.”
I watched as he gingerly tried to slip the shirt up his arms, but it was a struggle because the muscles in his shoulders were so broad. I watched him for a second before I went over to help him pull it up. It was hard to watch him struggle at anything; he was usually so strong and self-assured. I couldn’t stand the thought of anything bringing him low. I started snapping the shirt from the bottom to the top, and when I glanced up at his face, he was grinning at me.
“You just can’t help yourself, can you? You were bitchin’ at me about fifteen seconds ago, and now, you’re dressing me like I’m Trix.” He shook his head. “So damn sweet, baby.”
My face was on fire. Fuck, this was embarrassing. I was just dressing him like a five-year-old, and I didn’t even realize it.
“Why don’t you get undressed and get into bed?” he whispered as he grabbed a hold of my head with both hands. “I’ll get Trix to bed and come back and trace all of those parts I haven’t seen in so long.” He kissed my lips softly and then finished talking against my mouth. “Remember how good it was, baby? How sensitive you are on your thighs? That sweet spot right under your ass cheeks? Fuck, I can’t wait to taste you.” He gave me one last kiss, his tongue rimming my lips, before he pulled open the door and went to Trix.
I stood there for a second, my body on fire and my thoughts scrambling, before I got it together. Twice in one night, he’d made me want to climb him like a tree. My panties were uncomfortably wet, and I wanted to change, but I couldn’t decide what to wear to bed. It would probably be a good idea to change into some flannel pajamas, considering the fact that the man was beaten to a pulp earlier, but it was just too damn hot in the house for anything more than what I was wearing.
He was out of his mind if he thought I was just going to strip down and do the dirty with him. Shit. My thoughts were all over the place tonight. I didn’t want to want him. I wasn’t even sure that Trix and I would be staying here for any length of time, and there were things that Dragon didn’t know, things I needed to tell him before we got into whatever this was any deeper.
I did want him though. My body ached for him. I wanted to lose myself in him and never worry about anything ever again. I was so tired of being the strong one; it would be nice to lean on someone else for a while. The problem with leaning on Dragon was that it could become a habit. I didn’t really know him anymore—if I ever really did in the first place. One night together did not make a relationship. I needed to figure out my head before I had sex with him. Mind-blowing, orgasm-inducing, wet, sweaty sex…shit! I didn’t think I was going to be able to resist him, and even though it was a very, very bad idea, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to.
I could hear Trix and Dragon talking, and I decided to be a little sneaky and eavesdrop on their conversation. I was curious what they had to talk about even though I probably shouldn’t have been. Trix could talk to a tree for hours and never run out of things to say. I crept out to the hallway and stood out of sight next to Trix’s doorway.
“Today, Auntie Vera came over and brought a bunch of Mama’s stuff. She said Mama’s ass was too big to fit into her jeans.”
“Don’t say ass, Trix. Your mama would flip if she heard you.”
