Craving Constellations
Page 44
“You had to fuckin’ marry him, right?” He shook his head at my stupidity. “Had to find some suit-wearin’ fuckin’ psychopath to raise our daughter with. Couldn’t fuckin’ come home. Oh no, high-class piece like you had to have a fuckin’ suit, right?” He laughed humorlessly.
“Son, sit down, so we can figure this shit out. No need to be sayin’ things you’re gonna regret later,” my pop said quietly across the table. “Sooner we figure this out, sooner you two can figure out what the fuck you’re doin’. End of the day, my granddaughter isn’t going anywhere. Not while I have breath left in my body. Just gotta figure out where we go from here.”
Once again, Pop talked Dragon down. It was evident to me just how much respect he had for my father by the way he listened when Pop spoke. I was, in turn, both relieved that their relationship was still solid and guilty with the knowledge that I could have messed that up.
“Sounds like we’re gonna be goin’ to court. Fuck me.”
“You sure that’s the way you wanna play this?” Pop asked Dragon with a look on his face that I couldn’t interpret.
“My name is going to be on that fuckin’ certificate, Poet. Do what I have to in order to make it that way.” He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed toward the front door. “Be back later. You good here?” he called to my Pop, catching his nod as he walked through the front door.
He never even looked at me. The pieces of me that I’d thought shattered in the yard proved that they could break even smaller as I watched him walk through the door. I needed him, and he was gone.
“Don’t worry, bonnie Brenna,” Pop told me as I twisted back to face him. “He just needs a little time. He’ll be back.”
I knew he’d be back, but I didn’t know what he’d find when he got here. I felt like I was already gone.
“He’d give his life for you and Trix, Brenna. He’d walk through fire. He’d slay a dragon. He’d go to prison.” With that, he walked quietly into the bathroom.
Pop and I spent the next few hours sitting on the couch, watching movies. It would be more apt to say that Pop watched movies, and I stared into space, my mind spinning with possibilities. When I’d sat without moving or talking for a solid two hours, Pop finally wrapped his arm across my shoulders and pulled me against the side of his chest.
“Gonna work out, Brenna. You trust your old pop for that, eh?” He kissed the top of my head as I snuggled in against him.
It was only a few minutes later that the safety and comfort of my pop’s arms lulled me to sleep. I barely noticed when he carried me to bed, and in the back of my mind, I hoped the bed didn’t smell like sex as I fell back asleep.
A few hours later, I woke up to Dragon climbing in next to me. I tried not to stiffen when he did, but I couldn’t help myself when he reached around my waist to unbutton the jean shorts I’d worn to bed.
“Know you’re awake, Bren. Ya don’t need to wear these to bed. Ain’t gonna stop me anyway,” he mumbled from behind my head.
My voice was scratchy from sleep when I answered him, “Pop carried me to bed…I’m a little old for him to put me in my pajamas.”
“Oh, yeah? You fall asleep on the couch?” he asked me as he pulled my shorts and underwear down my legs.
I let him. I needed him close to me, and I didn’t care how.
“Yeah, he was watching some shoot-’em-up movie. Not really my thing,” I told him as I lifted my arms, so he could pull off my tank top and unfasten my bra.
As soon as he had me undressed, he pulled me close and buried his head between my breasts, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. My hands went to his hair and pulled out the tie as his breath blew hot and hard over my skin.
“I fuckin’ hate this shit, Brenna. I hate knowin’ he’s got any ties to either of ya. I fuckin’ hate that he can still make you fall to your knees in the yard like your legs ain’t got any strength left in ’em. I hate that he got to see my girl growing in you, and he got to see her growin’ after that. I fucking hate it. And it’s your fault.”
My fingers tightened in his hair as his last sentence hit me. He squeezed me twice and then lifted his face to mine.
“But I don’t hate you. I’ve fuckin’ craved you for years. Watchin’ the stars. Tattooing those constellations on before the ink you used could wear off. I’ll never stop wanting you, even when I’m so pissed I could knock you across a fuckin’ room.”
My breath caught in my throat as I pulled my fingers from his hair and traced the three star tattoos I could see above where his body was pressed to mine.
“Holy shit,” I whispered as the magnitude of this hit me.
I had thought he wanted me for me, but when Trix was added to the equation, it was hard to be sure. Lots of guys didn’t feel the need to play house with the mother of their child; I knew this. Dragon had always craved a family though, and a small part in the back of my mind warned me that I was just a means to Trix.
He’d gotten these tattoos before Trix was known…to even me.
Before I could get emotional, he grunted and pulled himself higher on my body.
“Kiss your man. Been a long day, I’m fuckin’ ready for it to be over.”
I slid my hands back up his shoulders and into his hair as I touched my mouth to his. I was disappointed he was ready for bed, but I understood the sentiment. It had been a hell of a day. As I started to pull my mouth from his, he made a disgruntled noise and reached up to grab my hair in one fist, keeping my mouth fused to his. My nipples had been hard from the moment he’d slid naked into bed beside me, but as he bit my bottom lip, I felt the wetness between my thighs. I wasn’t sure what type of noise I made, but he started murmuring to me as he ran one of his hands down my body, pausing to pinch my nipples and scratch his short nails down my stomach.
“Son, sit down, so we can figure this shit out. No need to be sayin’ things you’re gonna regret later,” my pop said quietly across the table. “Sooner we figure this out, sooner you two can figure out what the fuck you’re doin’. End of the day, my granddaughter isn’t going anywhere. Not while I have breath left in my body. Just gotta figure out where we go from here.”
Once again, Pop talked Dragon down. It was evident to me just how much respect he had for my father by the way he listened when Pop spoke. I was, in turn, both relieved that their relationship was still solid and guilty with the knowledge that I could have messed that up.
“Sounds like we’re gonna be goin’ to court. Fuck me.”
“You sure that’s the way you wanna play this?” Pop asked Dragon with a look on his face that I couldn’t interpret.
“My name is going to be on that fuckin’ certificate, Poet. Do what I have to in order to make it that way.” He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed toward the front door. “Be back later. You good here?” he called to my Pop, catching his nod as he walked through the front door.
He never even looked at me. The pieces of me that I’d thought shattered in the yard proved that they could break even smaller as I watched him walk through the door. I needed him, and he was gone.
“Don’t worry, bonnie Brenna,” Pop told me as I twisted back to face him. “He just needs a little time. He’ll be back.”
I knew he’d be back, but I didn’t know what he’d find when he got here. I felt like I was already gone.
“He’d give his life for you and Trix, Brenna. He’d walk through fire. He’d slay a dragon. He’d go to prison.” With that, he walked quietly into the bathroom.
Pop and I spent the next few hours sitting on the couch, watching movies. It would be more apt to say that Pop watched movies, and I stared into space, my mind spinning with possibilities. When I’d sat without moving or talking for a solid two hours, Pop finally wrapped his arm across my shoulders and pulled me against the side of his chest.
“Gonna work out, Brenna. You trust your old pop for that, eh?” He kissed the top of my head as I snuggled in against him.
It was only a few minutes later that the safety and comfort of my pop’s arms lulled me to sleep. I barely noticed when he carried me to bed, and in the back of my mind, I hoped the bed didn’t smell like sex as I fell back asleep.
A few hours later, I woke up to Dragon climbing in next to me. I tried not to stiffen when he did, but I couldn’t help myself when he reached around my waist to unbutton the jean shorts I’d worn to bed.
“Know you’re awake, Bren. Ya don’t need to wear these to bed. Ain’t gonna stop me anyway,” he mumbled from behind my head.
My voice was scratchy from sleep when I answered him, “Pop carried me to bed…I’m a little old for him to put me in my pajamas.”
“Oh, yeah? You fall asleep on the couch?” he asked me as he pulled my shorts and underwear down my legs.
I let him. I needed him close to me, and I didn’t care how.
“Yeah, he was watching some shoot-’em-up movie. Not really my thing,” I told him as I lifted my arms, so he could pull off my tank top and unfasten my bra.
As soon as he had me undressed, he pulled me close and buried his head between my breasts, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. My hands went to his hair and pulled out the tie as his breath blew hot and hard over my skin.
“I fuckin’ hate this shit, Brenna. I hate knowin’ he’s got any ties to either of ya. I fuckin’ hate that he can still make you fall to your knees in the yard like your legs ain’t got any strength left in ’em. I hate that he got to see my girl growing in you, and he got to see her growin’ after that. I fucking hate it. And it’s your fault.”
My fingers tightened in his hair as his last sentence hit me. He squeezed me twice and then lifted his face to mine.
“But I don’t hate you. I’ve fuckin’ craved you for years. Watchin’ the stars. Tattooing those constellations on before the ink you used could wear off. I’ll never stop wanting you, even when I’m so pissed I could knock you across a fuckin’ room.”
My breath caught in my throat as I pulled my fingers from his hair and traced the three star tattoos I could see above where his body was pressed to mine.
“Holy shit,” I whispered as the magnitude of this hit me.
I had thought he wanted me for me, but when Trix was added to the equation, it was hard to be sure. Lots of guys didn’t feel the need to play house with the mother of their child; I knew this. Dragon had always craved a family though, and a small part in the back of my mind warned me that I was just a means to Trix.
He’d gotten these tattoos before Trix was known…to even me.
Before I could get emotional, he grunted and pulled himself higher on my body.
“Kiss your man. Been a long day, I’m fuckin’ ready for it to be over.”
I slid my hands back up his shoulders and into his hair as I touched my mouth to his. I was disappointed he was ready for bed, but I understood the sentiment. It had been a hell of a day. As I started to pull my mouth from his, he made a disgruntled noise and reached up to grab my hair in one fist, keeping my mouth fused to his. My nipples had been hard from the moment he’d slid naked into bed beside me, but as he bit my bottom lip, I felt the wetness between my thighs. I wasn’t sure what type of noise I made, but he started murmuring to me as he ran one of his hands down my body, pausing to pinch my nipples and scratch his short nails down my stomach.
