Crossroads

Page 58

“This is better.”
“Good, because it was driving me fucking crazy not to touch you.”
“You think this is real, Nick?” There was nothing except honest hunger in Bryce’s voice. “What we’re doing, I mean. Can it really fucking work? Is it real? I feel like it is, but what the fuck do I know?”
This wasn’t like Bryce, to question himself this way. He was the one who jumped in head first, asked questions later. Or asked questions, ignored the answers and still jumped anyway. “Is this over?” Nick asked plainly. Then, he fucking held his breath while waiting for an answer. He couldn’t even think about that next breath until he knew.
“I don’t know. Come on, let’s go inside and talk.” Bryce slipped out from around Nick and walked away. Nick had no choice except to follow. He was surprised when Bryce went for Nick’s house instead of his own...and then he was kind of pissed about it. Most of the time, unless it was a day off and Nick was cooking, they were at Bryce’s. Was he looking for an easy escape? He’d say what he had to say and then walk away? The Bryce he’d come to know wasn’t a coward like that. Nick would kick his ass if he tried to turn into one now.
Once he had the door closed behind them, Nick hit the lights, tossed his keys on the table. “What happened? Just fucking tell me, Bryce. The way I see it is, we either figure this shit out by being honest and talking about it, or call it off.”
His insides convulsed at the last part, broke apart, ached. The thought of losing Bryce left an empty space in his chest, a space he hadn’t known was there until Bryce and it belonged to him.
***
Even though Bryce was in a shitty mood, he couldn’t stop the half-grin from pulling at his lips. “You’re getting bossy, aren’t you?”
“Not now, Bry. It’s not the time to joke.”
Nick tried to walk toward the couch, but Bryce grabbed his arm. “You called me Bry.” He didn’t know why he liked that so fucking much. It wasn’t as though it wasn’t a name half the people he knew called him. Nick had never used it, though.
“I did. Now tell me what the fuck happened. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
He liked that, too, liked Nick having him on his mind. But then his mom and his brothers’ words bled in again. He knew they hadn’t said them to hurt him, but because his family was big on honesty. They told Bryce their worries, and now he was scared they were right. “Let’s sit down.” He nodded toward the couch, and they sat.
“I drove around all day. It’s fucking gorgeous out there. I want you to go on my bike with me sometime.”
Nick shook his head, and Bryce realized he’d gotten off track.
“I went to my parents’ house when I knew they’d be home. Just so happened that Mitch, Abbey, Hope and Jamie were also there. I admitted to my mom about Christi. She was understandably hurt, felt betrayed and lied to. It...” broke his fucking heart to hurt his mom that way.
“You didn’t mean to hurt her,” Nick said, reading his mind.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I did.” And that she worried Bryce would hurt Nick as well. “I told them all about you. Didn’t want to keep any more secrets from them.” And there was a part of him that just wanted them to know about Nick. To know that he had found someone he really cared about. It might not be Christi, but he had Nick.
Nick leaned away from him on the couch, his leg bouncing, reminding Bryce of when his own had done the same thing at his parents’ house. “And?” Nick asked.
“And in some ways, it went better than I thought it would. It doesn’t bother them that you’re a man. It’ll take some getting used to, but they can accept that. I might have lied to my parents, but I know that they really do only want me happy.” They just didn’t think Bryce knew how to be serious about anything. “So you aren’t the problem. I am.”
“What do you mean?” Nick’s eyebrows pulled together.
Nick reached for him, but Bryce shook him off. His body was jittery, so he pushed to his feet, pacing Nick’s living room. “I’ve fucked up a lot, Nick. I’ve never taken life too seriously. I told you about the career thing. I’ve fucked my way through too many women to count. They’ve had to bail me out of shit they shouldn’t have had to bail me out of. When I first got sick, I didn’t take that seriously, either, and could have cost me my life. I’m fucking lucky I’m still here. They thought that was my wake-up call, and why I got serious with Christi. Now they find out we weren’t serious, I lied about still being with her, oh, and by the way, I have a boyfriend now, and I’m serious about him. You can see why they don’t believe me.”