Crossroads

Page 78

“Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”
Bryce drove around all day. Every little while he had to stop because his hand or arms would fall asleep, but then he’d just get back on and ride again.
It had been hard enough seeing his family yesterday. Tomorrow they were going to Nick’s mom’s house. Bryce knew how much pressure she put on Nick, how much she wanted her son to have a traditional life, with a wife at home, and kids. Even if they did settle down and try to adopt one day (which, honestly, he wasn’t even sure he wanted kids), their life would still never be what she had envisioned for her son.
Bryce spent his whole life laid back, relaxed, and just trying to live an easy, happy life. This thing with Nick wasn’t easy. It should be, and maybe eventually it would be, but dealing with the fallout of...loving each other, was more than he expected.
He rode until he couldn’t ride anymore, then he went home to wait for Nick. It was close to midnight when there was a knock on his door. Bryce called for him to come in. “Come here,” he said after Nick closed the door.
Nick walked to the edge of the couch, and Bryce pulled him down to lay on top of him. His head rested on Bryce’s chest as he lay between Bryce’s legs. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, trying to fit the both of them on the couch, but he didn’t care. It got them close.
“How was work?” he asked. It felt like they didn’t get to do this enough—just talk without worrying about sex or family or what the hell they were doing.
Bryce ran his hand over Nick’s short hair, touched his jaw, rubbed his neck, just feeling him.
“Good. We were busy. It feels like I can almost say that every day now, which is good. I was scared to death when I opened the restaurant. Jill hated the idea. She said I would be too busy, and threw out statistics on how many new restaurants failed. And I get it. This was our lives. If it failed, it affected us both. I guess I probably didn’t give her as much say in it as I should, but I can’t regret opening it. It feels good, seeing how well it’s doing.”
Bryce shook his head. “You’re always fair, Nick.”
“No,” he said softly. “I’m not sure I always was. I’d like to think so, but I probably wasn’t. No one’s perfect.”
“Except me,” Bryce teased.
“Obviously. I didn’t think I even had to say it. It’s just something everyone knows.”
“You’re smart. That’s why I like you so damned much. You know a good thing when you see one.” Bryce felt Nick’s laugh rumble through his chest, and it settled in Bryce’s.
There was a moment’s pause between them before Nick spoke. “Were you scared when you found out about the aneurysm? I guess that’s a stupid question, in some ways. Of course you were, but...did you just know you’d beat it? That’s you, push fucking through and conquer whatever is in your way.”
Bryce thought for a second. He liked the way Nick saw him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really who he was. “I’m going to tell you a secret—something I’ve never told anyone else.”
Bryce had his right arm around Nick, holding him close, and Nick held him back.
“I was scared out of my fucking mind... I almost didn’t even have the surgery, I was so scared. I played it off like that wasn’t the case, but it was.”
Bryce paused, let out a deep breath, and then continued. “I don’t know why, but I just knew I was going to fucking die. I hid it, laughed about it and pretended it wasn’t a big deal...but part of me just fucking knew that was it for me. I’d decided that was how I would go, and I just wanted to enjoy my life until the time-bomb in my head exploded. I wanted to ride my bike, fuck women and enjoy my family. It sounded a hell of a lot better than a surgery that could make me stroke, have seizures and a whole list of other things. I’d just fucking go one day and not know it.”
“What changed your mind?” Nick asked.
“You’ll laugh if I tell you.” Hell, Bryce wanted to laugh at it himself. He couldn’t fucking believe it. Not really. And he hadn’t even thought about what it was that had changed his mind until right this minute, lying here, telling Nick.
Nick lifted his head, still chest-to-chest with Bryce, looking down at him. “Holy shit. You’re embarrassed. You’re never embarrassed.”
“You’d get it if I told you.”
Nick nodded once at him, and smiled. “So tell me.”
Bryce ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck, Nick. I think it was you.”