Cut Wide Open
Page 24
“These gloves won’t fit you. Not yet at least. You want to learn to box, I’ll buy you a pair that fit.”
“Yeah?” he asked still unsure of what to make of me.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll give you your first lesson, right now.”
He watched me with rapt attention, taking in everything I had to offer. I breathed in deep, not for the first time, trying to hold back my anger for the time I’d missed with him.
“What do you think is one of the most important parts to fighting? Your fist or your feet.”
“That’s easy.” He held up his little fists and clenched them with his thumb tucked under his fingers.
“Guess again. Your fists are important, but to be a good fighter, you have to know how to move your feet.” I opened his fist and moved his thumb to the outside, then I positioned his feet apart. I stood in front of him and showed him when I threw a punch, how I shuffled my feet.
“Move your feet back and forth.”
The kid tried it, and he did okay. “We’ll work on it. Try it again.”
We did this repeatedly; him shuffling his feet, me teaching him how to move them. He was quick.
“Like this?” he asked, finally getting it exactly right.
“Yeah son, just like that.”
We finished our lesson for the day and sat on the edge of the ring. Gun sat down next to me panting.
“Hey, Buzz! How about a couple of waters?” I called out to one of our prospects.
He brought them over and handed them to us.
I knew I needed to talk with Gun. I had to give it to him straight. “I don't have a good lock on your Mom yet. I’m looking. We’re all looking. I’m trying, but I think while we’re trying to find her that you should start school.
“Oh, man,” he grumbled.
“I know it’s not ideal, but she wouldn't want you missing school, would she?”
He looked up and away from me, “She wouldn't care,” he lied.
“Oh, she wouldn’t, huh? She’d let you miss school whenever? I took her as the type of mom who cared about her boy doing well.” I had him there, I knew it. He did too. He looked at me and nodded, like he had no other choice.
“You’ll start in a few days, after the weekend.”
“Okay.”
We spent the next few days hanging out at the clubhouse, and then Monday morning I enrolled him in school. Luckily, we had found his birth certificate amongst Charlie’s things, so it wasn't hard for me to get his transcripts.
Dropping him off didn't go nearly as smoothly as I planned. He clung to me. I mean clung. It took everything in me to pry his fingers from around my neck. The school psychologist was right there with us, and she kept saying over and over again that if I gave in, then I would be setting myself up to make this even harder. I hated seeing tears in his eyes, but what could I do? Kids need to go to school, right?
I’d only been parenting for about a week and this shit was hard. I didn't know how Charlie did this for so long on her own. She must’ve been so scared. I tried to imagine how my quiet Mouse figured this shit out.
I was outside waiting for him when three-fifteen hit. He ran to me but instead of hugging me, he grabbed my hand like he was trying to hold on to being angry that I’d left him there. I shouldn't have been surprised. He was, after all, my son.
And so, this began our new routine. I would take him to school, and he wouldn't be happy about it. Somedays, I’d be busy at the shop, and I’d have some of the guys grab him, and a few times, I’d ask for help from some of the legs that hung around.
Like today. I answered my phone as soon as it rang, desperate to hear how Gun was.
“How’d he do?”
“It was fine.”
“Not what I asked Amber. I asked how he did?”
“He went in. No problem. I don't see what the big deal is.”
Yeah, I guess she wouldn’t. She was a woman who happened to hang around with the club. She had long legs and platinum blonde hair. She was hot. I let her blow me a few times after drinks, but that was it. She wasn't my taste, but now that I had Gun, I’d take any help I could get.
He was struggling and I couldn’t blame him. He’d been with me for a few weeks. One day, after he got home from school, I decided that we should get him his own shit. I mean, we’d brought a lot from his place, but what kid didn't want to be spoiled? I had an extra room in my place that I had set up with a new bed waiting for him.
I was going to buy stuff, but I figured he’d want to help pick it out. So we went to the mall, and we decked it out. I let him pick out his favorite superhero blankets. I even got him his own TV and Xbox for his room. We picked out new clothes too. Half of the kid’s stuff had holes in it, so we bought way too much. As much as I usually hated shopping, it was worth it seeing my kid’s face light up. Plus, the kid got a kick out of how people reacted to me. Sure, I was big and my vest let them know exactly who I was, but the scowl on my face that said, “You better not fuck with me or my kid,” was the topper. When we got home, we spent the better part of the night getting his room set up the way he wanted it.
I hated asking Amber for help, but I sometimes needed to. I asked her to help out and drop him off at school. I knew she wasn't Gun’s favorite person, but I didn't have a whole lot of options. It wasn’t like I could call my Mom up, and ask her to be a Grandma. I shook my head, she was whacked.
“Alright, Amber. Thanks.” I was about to hang up when she stopped me. “Gunner, I can think of a real nice way you can pay me back,” she purred. I knew what she was talking about, but I played dumb.
“I’ll give you twenty bucks, the next time I see you,” I disconnected and lifted my chin to
Ace as he walked into the machine shop.
“Brother,” I said as he got closer, “You got any news?”
His eyes moved to the side connecting with Shane’s, and Shane moved in like they had this planned.
“What do you got?” I asked impatiently. My temper had been wearing thin lately, a mixture of not knowing where my Mouse was, and not knowing what to tell my son. We’d confirmed with the strip club that one of the bouncers was beaten pretty badly. He watched out for Charlie. We also confirmed with one of the dancers that nothing was going on between Enrico and Charlie, and that he was basically stalking her. When I found out that tidbit of information, I had to hit the ring. My son needed me, so I couldn't afford to self-destruct, but damn if I wasn't waging an internal battle for not saving Charlie when I’d had the chance.
“Yeah?” he asked still unsure of what to make of me.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll give you your first lesson, right now.”
He watched me with rapt attention, taking in everything I had to offer. I breathed in deep, not for the first time, trying to hold back my anger for the time I’d missed with him.
“What do you think is one of the most important parts to fighting? Your fist or your feet.”
“That’s easy.” He held up his little fists and clenched them with his thumb tucked under his fingers.
“Guess again. Your fists are important, but to be a good fighter, you have to know how to move your feet.” I opened his fist and moved his thumb to the outside, then I positioned his feet apart. I stood in front of him and showed him when I threw a punch, how I shuffled my feet.
“Move your feet back and forth.”
The kid tried it, and he did okay. “We’ll work on it. Try it again.”
We did this repeatedly; him shuffling his feet, me teaching him how to move them. He was quick.
“Like this?” he asked, finally getting it exactly right.
“Yeah son, just like that.”
We finished our lesson for the day and sat on the edge of the ring. Gun sat down next to me panting.
“Hey, Buzz! How about a couple of waters?” I called out to one of our prospects.
He brought them over and handed them to us.
I knew I needed to talk with Gun. I had to give it to him straight. “I don't have a good lock on your Mom yet. I’m looking. We’re all looking. I’m trying, but I think while we’re trying to find her that you should start school.
“Oh, man,” he grumbled.
“I know it’s not ideal, but she wouldn't want you missing school, would she?”
He looked up and away from me, “She wouldn't care,” he lied.
“Oh, she wouldn’t, huh? She’d let you miss school whenever? I took her as the type of mom who cared about her boy doing well.” I had him there, I knew it. He did too. He looked at me and nodded, like he had no other choice.
“You’ll start in a few days, after the weekend.”
“Okay.”
We spent the next few days hanging out at the clubhouse, and then Monday morning I enrolled him in school. Luckily, we had found his birth certificate amongst Charlie’s things, so it wasn't hard for me to get his transcripts.
Dropping him off didn't go nearly as smoothly as I planned. He clung to me. I mean clung. It took everything in me to pry his fingers from around my neck. The school psychologist was right there with us, and she kept saying over and over again that if I gave in, then I would be setting myself up to make this even harder. I hated seeing tears in his eyes, but what could I do? Kids need to go to school, right?
I’d only been parenting for about a week and this shit was hard. I didn't know how Charlie did this for so long on her own. She must’ve been so scared. I tried to imagine how my quiet Mouse figured this shit out.
I was outside waiting for him when three-fifteen hit. He ran to me but instead of hugging me, he grabbed my hand like he was trying to hold on to being angry that I’d left him there. I shouldn't have been surprised. He was, after all, my son.
And so, this began our new routine. I would take him to school, and he wouldn't be happy about it. Somedays, I’d be busy at the shop, and I’d have some of the guys grab him, and a few times, I’d ask for help from some of the legs that hung around.
Like today. I answered my phone as soon as it rang, desperate to hear how Gun was.
“How’d he do?”
“It was fine.”
“Not what I asked Amber. I asked how he did?”
“He went in. No problem. I don't see what the big deal is.”
Yeah, I guess she wouldn’t. She was a woman who happened to hang around with the club. She had long legs and platinum blonde hair. She was hot. I let her blow me a few times after drinks, but that was it. She wasn't my taste, but now that I had Gun, I’d take any help I could get.
He was struggling and I couldn’t blame him. He’d been with me for a few weeks. One day, after he got home from school, I decided that we should get him his own shit. I mean, we’d brought a lot from his place, but what kid didn't want to be spoiled? I had an extra room in my place that I had set up with a new bed waiting for him.
I was going to buy stuff, but I figured he’d want to help pick it out. So we went to the mall, and we decked it out. I let him pick out his favorite superhero blankets. I even got him his own TV and Xbox for his room. We picked out new clothes too. Half of the kid’s stuff had holes in it, so we bought way too much. As much as I usually hated shopping, it was worth it seeing my kid’s face light up. Plus, the kid got a kick out of how people reacted to me. Sure, I was big and my vest let them know exactly who I was, but the scowl on my face that said, “You better not fuck with me or my kid,” was the topper. When we got home, we spent the better part of the night getting his room set up the way he wanted it.
I hated asking Amber for help, but I sometimes needed to. I asked her to help out and drop him off at school. I knew she wasn't Gun’s favorite person, but I didn't have a whole lot of options. It wasn’t like I could call my Mom up, and ask her to be a Grandma. I shook my head, she was whacked.
“Alright, Amber. Thanks.” I was about to hang up when she stopped me. “Gunner, I can think of a real nice way you can pay me back,” she purred. I knew what she was talking about, but I played dumb.
“I’ll give you twenty bucks, the next time I see you,” I disconnected and lifted my chin to
Ace as he walked into the machine shop.
“Brother,” I said as he got closer, “You got any news?”
His eyes moved to the side connecting with Shane’s, and Shane moved in like they had this planned.
“What do you got?” I asked impatiently. My temper had been wearing thin lately, a mixture of not knowing where my Mouse was, and not knowing what to tell my son. We’d confirmed with the strip club that one of the bouncers was beaten pretty badly. He watched out for Charlie. We also confirmed with one of the dancers that nothing was going on between Enrico and Charlie, and that he was basically stalking her. When I found out that tidbit of information, I had to hit the ring. My son needed me, so I couldn't afford to self-destruct, but damn if I wasn't waging an internal battle for not saving Charlie when I’d had the chance.
