Cut Wide Open
Page 25
“It’s not good,” Shane said with a nod from Ace. “Our sources say he’s been coming and going from Colombia pretty regularly. We can’t get a lock on him, and I swear he owns half of Colombia.”
“Fuck,” I hissed.
“I’m reaching out to a contact. Trying to get eyes on his landing strip. I want to know if she is coming in the country with him or not. I’m working on getting us a way in the country without being detected, but it ain't easy,” Ace added.
“There’s more,” Shane ran his hand through his hair. “There was heat between Hades Runners and the Mexicans. I can see Hades reaching out to Enrico. We have to be careful.”
I rubbed my chin.
“What if we reach out to the Mexicans?”
“And risk Enrico thinking we double crossed him?” Ace asked.
This whole situation was so touchy, but if it meant getting Charlie back, fuck ‘em.
“Any other players we can get involved? The Russians? Italians?” I asked.
“I’ll put some feelers out,” Shane pulled a smoke from his pack and lit it. The smoke made the air hazy.
“Fuck, it’s already been almost a month. What if she isn't even alive anymore?” I gave my brothers my fears.
“You gotta have hope, and if this isn’t a mission about getting her back, then it will be about getting revenge,” Ace nodded agreeing with Shane.
“She was right there in front of me. I could’ve…”
“No, brother. No way you could’ve known. This isn't on you,” Ace looked firm as he told me this and I wanted to believe him.
I sat with my head hung low for some time. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was trying to make it okay for my kid, and I was trying to figure out how to save Charlie, but I felt like I was drowning.
***
“Kid, turn off the video game.”
My son looked up at me, and that empty look in his eyes burned into my gut. He paused his game, his eyes silently questioned what I wanted.
I knew he was hurting, and I was hell bent on getting him through this. “Come on outside.” He followed me through the house, and I grabbed a football on the way out.
“Let’s play?” I asked.
He shrugged and I knew he was going to make me work for it, he’d been closing down more and more.
“My dad used to throw the ball around with me, when I was a kid.” I tossed him the ball and let him get a feel for it in his hands. I couldn't imagine Mouse ever bringing him out to throw a ball around.
“We’d play two, maybe three times a week. Your mom lived across the street from me. Did she ever tell you that?”
He looked up at me, maybe eager to hear more about her, and then he tossed the ball to me. “Nope,” was his one word answer.
“She was so quiet. She’d sneak around watching me. First time I saw her, thought she was the prettiest thing I ever saw.” I shook my head at the memory and tossed the ball to Gun. He was a natural, and didn't even know it.
“What was she like?” he asked throwing the ball back to me. I smiled and took a step back giving him more room to throw.
“Like I said, she was quiet. It took her forever to talk to me, and then one day, I couldn't take it anymore, so I approached her.” I threw the ball and continued, “I called her Mouse ‘cause she was so sneaky and quiet.”
“She’s still kind of quiet.” Ah, he was observant too. I caught the ball he threw to me.
“It took us a few years, but she talked to me. I never admitted it to her, but I think I loved her the first time she spoke. I was just waiting on her to get older. We were kids, but I was so taken by her.”
“Well, then what happened? Why’d you leave us?” he asked walking over to the stairs of my front porch. He sat down, and spun the football. I grabbed the ball and his eyes met mine.
“First, I didn’t know your mom was pregnant. No clue. At the time, I thought I had no choice, but the one I made. I messed up and was given a choice to join my mom’s boyfriend’s motorcycle club, or go to jail. I chose wrong. I should’ve gone to jail. Those guys…” I sucked in a breath, “they’re nothing like my club. They wouldn’t let me leave and when they finally did, I went to find Charlie, but she was gone. I searched. I looked for years. But I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve found you sooner. I’m so sorry we missed out on all this time. I’m sorry I wasn't there. I’m sorry we don't have your mom back yet, but I promise you kid, I’m doing everything I can to get her back to us.”
“I miss her,” he said quietly.
“Will you tell me about what it was like for you two?”
He nodded, “When I was little,” I grinned because he was still little, but kept quiet and let him continue, “we slept on this air mattress together and then eventually she got more and more things to fill our apartment. She was always hugging me and telling me she loved me. She’d work late and come and get me from the sitter’s. Sometimes, she still snuggles with me.”
I had to ask ‘cause I was too fucking curious, “She ever have any boyfriends around?”
He shrugged, but gave me nothing more. I didn’t push, even though I really wanted to. I wanted to put him in a lighter mood.“You want me to teach you how to grip this better?” I showed him the laces on the ball and how to grip it, and then we spent the next twenty minutes throwing the ball back and forth.
I tucked him in that night. As I watched him struggle to keep his eyes open, I knew that no matter what, me and my boy would be okay. I’d figure this Dad thing out. I had too.
Later that night, I was sleeping in my bed when my cell phone woke me. I immediately answered it, and with a groggy voice answered, “Yeah.”
“She was spotted,” Ace responded. My heart hammered with confirmation that she was alive.
“Go, on.”
“She was spotted with him. Report says she looked thin, didn’t interact, but she was alive.”
“Thank you, brother.”
“Knew you’d want to know as soon as I did. Go back to bed. We’ll meet after you take Junior to school.”
“Night.” I hit end and released a breath. She was alive and one way or another, I was going to get her back.
“Fuck,” I hissed.
“I’m reaching out to a contact. Trying to get eyes on his landing strip. I want to know if she is coming in the country with him or not. I’m working on getting us a way in the country without being detected, but it ain't easy,” Ace added.
“There’s more,” Shane ran his hand through his hair. “There was heat between Hades Runners and the Mexicans. I can see Hades reaching out to Enrico. We have to be careful.”
I rubbed my chin.
“What if we reach out to the Mexicans?”
“And risk Enrico thinking we double crossed him?” Ace asked.
This whole situation was so touchy, but if it meant getting Charlie back, fuck ‘em.
“Any other players we can get involved? The Russians? Italians?” I asked.
“I’ll put some feelers out,” Shane pulled a smoke from his pack and lit it. The smoke made the air hazy.
“Fuck, it’s already been almost a month. What if she isn't even alive anymore?” I gave my brothers my fears.
“You gotta have hope, and if this isn’t a mission about getting her back, then it will be about getting revenge,” Ace nodded agreeing with Shane.
“She was right there in front of me. I could’ve…”
“No, brother. No way you could’ve known. This isn't on you,” Ace looked firm as he told me this and I wanted to believe him.
I sat with my head hung low for some time. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was trying to make it okay for my kid, and I was trying to figure out how to save Charlie, but I felt like I was drowning.
***
“Kid, turn off the video game.”
My son looked up at me, and that empty look in his eyes burned into my gut. He paused his game, his eyes silently questioned what I wanted.
I knew he was hurting, and I was hell bent on getting him through this. “Come on outside.” He followed me through the house, and I grabbed a football on the way out.
“Let’s play?” I asked.
He shrugged and I knew he was going to make me work for it, he’d been closing down more and more.
“My dad used to throw the ball around with me, when I was a kid.” I tossed him the ball and let him get a feel for it in his hands. I couldn't imagine Mouse ever bringing him out to throw a ball around.
“We’d play two, maybe three times a week. Your mom lived across the street from me. Did she ever tell you that?”
He looked up at me, maybe eager to hear more about her, and then he tossed the ball to me. “Nope,” was his one word answer.
“She was so quiet. She’d sneak around watching me. First time I saw her, thought she was the prettiest thing I ever saw.” I shook my head at the memory and tossed the ball to Gun. He was a natural, and didn't even know it.
“What was she like?” he asked throwing the ball back to me. I smiled and took a step back giving him more room to throw.
“Like I said, she was quiet. It took her forever to talk to me, and then one day, I couldn't take it anymore, so I approached her.” I threw the ball and continued, “I called her Mouse ‘cause she was so sneaky and quiet.”
“She’s still kind of quiet.” Ah, he was observant too. I caught the ball he threw to me.
“It took us a few years, but she talked to me. I never admitted it to her, but I think I loved her the first time she spoke. I was just waiting on her to get older. We were kids, but I was so taken by her.”
“Well, then what happened? Why’d you leave us?” he asked walking over to the stairs of my front porch. He sat down, and spun the football. I grabbed the ball and his eyes met mine.
“First, I didn’t know your mom was pregnant. No clue. At the time, I thought I had no choice, but the one I made. I messed up and was given a choice to join my mom’s boyfriend’s motorcycle club, or go to jail. I chose wrong. I should’ve gone to jail. Those guys…” I sucked in a breath, “they’re nothing like my club. They wouldn’t let me leave and when they finally did, I went to find Charlie, but she was gone. I searched. I looked for years. But I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve found you sooner. I’m so sorry we missed out on all this time. I’m sorry I wasn't there. I’m sorry we don't have your mom back yet, but I promise you kid, I’m doing everything I can to get her back to us.”
“I miss her,” he said quietly.
“Will you tell me about what it was like for you two?”
He nodded, “When I was little,” I grinned because he was still little, but kept quiet and let him continue, “we slept on this air mattress together and then eventually she got more and more things to fill our apartment. She was always hugging me and telling me she loved me. She’d work late and come and get me from the sitter’s. Sometimes, she still snuggles with me.”
I had to ask ‘cause I was too fucking curious, “She ever have any boyfriends around?”
He shrugged, but gave me nothing more. I didn’t push, even though I really wanted to. I wanted to put him in a lighter mood.“You want me to teach you how to grip this better?” I showed him the laces on the ball and how to grip it, and then we spent the next twenty minutes throwing the ball back and forth.
I tucked him in that night. As I watched him struggle to keep his eyes open, I knew that no matter what, me and my boy would be okay. I’d figure this Dad thing out. I had too.
Later that night, I was sleeping in my bed when my cell phone woke me. I immediately answered it, and with a groggy voice answered, “Yeah.”
“She was spotted,” Ace responded. My heart hammered with confirmation that she was alive.
“Go, on.”
“She was spotted with him. Report says she looked thin, didn’t interact, but she was alive.”
“Thank you, brother.”
“Knew you’d want to know as soon as I did. Go back to bed. We’ll meet after you take Junior to school.”
“Night.” I hit end and released a breath. She was alive and one way or another, I was going to get her back.
