Cut Wide Open
Page 35
“I’m good. Take care of Gun, would you?”
“I’m on it, but Gunner, he’s going to need you to look strong, even if you're not. He’ll need that from you. You got it in you to give it to him? You don't, then I’ll do my best, but he needs that from you.”
“Hear you, Brother.”
Reggie turned to leave. “How’s he seem?” I asked, knowing Gun needed me too.
“He’s a great kid. We’re keeping him busy. I think Shane is going to bring him to the lake to fish in a little bit, but he’s got that look in his eyes.” I knew what look, it closely resembled my own. I couldn't let him get lost.
“Stay with her for a few, would you? She as much as flinches, and you call me.”
“Got it.”
I found Gun sitting at the same table as earlier playing something I couldn't make out on someone’s phone.
As soon as he saw me he stopped, “Is she awake?”
“Not yet, but she will wake up. As soon as her body has had enough rest. It’s going to be okay.”
He looked down not believing me.
“I know this is hard. It’s hard on me too. She’s the strongest woman I’ve even met, and she loves you too darn much to do anything other than wake up. Doc says she continues to get stronger.”
To that his eyes met mine, “Shane said he’s going to take me fishing after we eat lunch. What if she wakes up, and I’m not here?”
“Kid, I’ll send someone for you. Don't you worry. I’ll be with her. If anyone loves her as much as you, if not more, it’s me.”
He had doubt in his eyes still, “I’m the one who’s been with her.”
“Told you, kid. I’d have been there, if I’d been able to find her.”
“You found her now. How come you couldn't find her then?”
“I tried, I failed, son. I won’t fail you again. Now, stop worrying over everything. It’ll be fine. You ever hook a worm before?”
“Never.”
“It’s fun. I’ll fish with you too, as soon as she’s moving around.” I wanted to be the first man to do this with him, but I knew he needed the distraction.
“Promise?”
“Have I broken a promise to you yet?”
He smiled, and I hoped he got it. I was going to do everything I could to be there for my family.
Chapter Eighteen Charlie
The leather cut into my flesh again, burning and peeling. And then the monster pushed inside, taking and taking. I’d cry out, but I was so used to his violation that I couldn't give in. I’d never give him that from me again. Hands gripped around my throat and I struggled to breathe. My legs involuntarily kicked and thrashed about. “Shh, you’re okay. I got you. Get Doc!” The voice sounded mumbled and I wanted to hang onto it, but no sooner did it bring me from the horrible things that were happening to me, then I’d slip back into another state.
You watch me as I hang. You look over me up, down, side to side. I want to talk to you, but I can't speak, my mouth sewn shut. I want to scream, but it’s impossible. Your head moves to the side in an unnatural way. I don't understand why you don't speak to me, even though your familiar hazel eyes bore into mine. My flesh begins to melt, and panic flashes wildly in my eyes before I dissolve into nothing.
I am laying in a bed. Alone. The room is dark with a small amount of light. You walk through a door, but don't see me. You’re followed by Marjorie, who takes a seat across from you at the small table. Her long red hair hangs over one shoulder and her exposed leg runs along your jean-clad legs. She rubs your arm, flirting with you, but all I can do is watch. She is beautiful. I am... Well, I am gone. I disappeared into sheets from so much damage, and now, I’m nothing. I’m invisible.
You stand in front of me. You’re shirtless. I smile at you and you grab my hand, “What is it, Mouse?”
“Whatever do you mean?” I laugh and smack your shoulder. You’re getting so strong so quickly. I run the pad my thumb over the tiny stretch mark that only I’d ever notice. I like it because I see it. I see your small imperfections because they’re beautiful. They tell your story-- that you’re becoming a man.
“You know you can't stay here forever, right? You need to wake up, Mouse?”
“I don't want to wake up. It’s bad out there. I’m safe here with you.”
“Always safe with me, Babe. Wake up.”
I blinked and then squinted. The room’s light hurt my eyes.
“Charlie! Thank God, Charlie. Stay with me. Don’t leave me. Hang on.”
I recognized that voice. It felt so real. No, it couldn't be. I squinted again and through my hazy vision, I could make out Gunner Reed. Those beautiful flecks of brown and green stared at me as if I’d hung the moon.
“Here’s some water. Take a sip. The Doc is on his way,” he spoke softly. I tried not to blink, fearful that this wasn't real. A straw was placed against my lips and I did as he instructed. He pulled it away, “Easy doll, not too fast.”
The room was beginning to fade again. I heard another man, “Charlie, I’m Doc. You're with family. I’m going to take your vitals.”
I briefly felt a something cold against my chest, and then it was all blackness again.
I opened my eyes. The room was shrouded in darkness. I felt a weight settle over my stomach and I looked down to see what it was. My breath caught and my chest ached. I couldn't believe it. My boy, my sweet precious Gun, was curled tight around me sleeping. How could this be? I must be dreaming. I moved my fingertips, they worked. I wiggled my toes; yep, still there. I took a chance on reality, and moved my arm to run my fingertips through his dark blonde hair. It was soft and gave me hope that this was real.
“Mom?” I heard his small voice that held so much uncertainty. I continued moving my fingers in his hair until they felt weighted. Before I knew it, I was drifting into darkness again.
The next time I woke, it was daylight and my boy was no longer curled around me. I wondered if it was a dream, but there was something familiar about the room, like I’d woken and seen it.
“He’s fishing with the boys,” I heard from across the room. I tried to sit up, but the slightest shift in movement, made my body scream in agony. The bed dipped next to me, and there he was, Gunner Reed. His dirty blonde hair fell slightly around those beautiful hazel eyes. Tattoos covered his arms, then a white t-shirt covered by a black motorcycle vest.
“I’m on it, but Gunner, he’s going to need you to look strong, even if you're not. He’ll need that from you. You got it in you to give it to him? You don't, then I’ll do my best, but he needs that from you.”
“Hear you, Brother.”
Reggie turned to leave. “How’s he seem?” I asked, knowing Gun needed me too.
“He’s a great kid. We’re keeping him busy. I think Shane is going to bring him to the lake to fish in a little bit, but he’s got that look in his eyes.” I knew what look, it closely resembled my own. I couldn't let him get lost.
“Stay with her for a few, would you? She as much as flinches, and you call me.”
“Got it.”
I found Gun sitting at the same table as earlier playing something I couldn't make out on someone’s phone.
As soon as he saw me he stopped, “Is she awake?”
“Not yet, but she will wake up. As soon as her body has had enough rest. It’s going to be okay.”
He looked down not believing me.
“I know this is hard. It’s hard on me too. She’s the strongest woman I’ve even met, and she loves you too darn much to do anything other than wake up. Doc says she continues to get stronger.”
To that his eyes met mine, “Shane said he’s going to take me fishing after we eat lunch. What if she wakes up, and I’m not here?”
“Kid, I’ll send someone for you. Don't you worry. I’ll be with her. If anyone loves her as much as you, if not more, it’s me.”
He had doubt in his eyes still, “I’m the one who’s been with her.”
“Told you, kid. I’d have been there, if I’d been able to find her.”
“You found her now. How come you couldn't find her then?”
“I tried, I failed, son. I won’t fail you again. Now, stop worrying over everything. It’ll be fine. You ever hook a worm before?”
“Never.”
“It’s fun. I’ll fish with you too, as soon as she’s moving around.” I wanted to be the first man to do this with him, but I knew he needed the distraction.
“Promise?”
“Have I broken a promise to you yet?”
He smiled, and I hoped he got it. I was going to do everything I could to be there for my family.
Chapter Eighteen Charlie
The leather cut into my flesh again, burning and peeling. And then the monster pushed inside, taking and taking. I’d cry out, but I was so used to his violation that I couldn't give in. I’d never give him that from me again. Hands gripped around my throat and I struggled to breathe. My legs involuntarily kicked and thrashed about. “Shh, you’re okay. I got you. Get Doc!” The voice sounded mumbled and I wanted to hang onto it, but no sooner did it bring me from the horrible things that were happening to me, then I’d slip back into another state.
You watch me as I hang. You look over me up, down, side to side. I want to talk to you, but I can't speak, my mouth sewn shut. I want to scream, but it’s impossible. Your head moves to the side in an unnatural way. I don't understand why you don't speak to me, even though your familiar hazel eyes bore into mine. My flesh begins to melt, and panic flashes wildly in my eyes before I dissolve into nothing.
I am laying in a bed. Alone. The room is dark with a small amount of light. You walk through a door, but don't see me. You’re followed by Marjorie, who takes a seat across from you at the small table. Her long red hair hangs over one shoulder and her exposed leg runs along your jean-clad legs. She rubs your arm, flirting with you, but all I can do is watch. She is beautiful. I am... Well, I am gone. I disappeared into sheets from so much damage, and now, I’m nothing. I’m invisible.
You stand in front of me. You’re shirtless. I smile at you and you grab my hand, “What is it, Mouse?”
“Whatever do you mean?” I laugh and smack your shoulder. You’re getting so strong so quickly. I run the pad my thumb over the tiny stretch mark that only I’d ever notice. I like it because I see it. I see your small imperfections because they’re beautiful. They tell your story-- that you’re becoming a man.
“You know you can't stay here forever, right? You need to wake up, Mouse?”
“I don't want to wake up. It’s bad out there. I’m safe here with you.”
“Always safe with me, Babe. Wake up.”
I blinked and then squinted. The room’s light hurt my eyes.
“Charlie! Thank God, Charlie. Stay with me. Don’t leave me. Hang on.”
I recognized that voice. It felt so real. No, it couldn't be. I squinted again and through my hazy vision, I could make out Gunner Reed. Those beautiful flecks of brown and green stared at me as if I’d hung the moon.
“Here’s some water. Take a sip. The Doc is on his way,” he spoke softly. I tried not to blink, fearful that this wasn't real. A straw was placed against my lips and I did as he instructed. He pulled it away, “Easy doll, not too fast.”
The room was beginning to fade again. I heard another man, “Charlie, I’m Doc. You're with family. I’m going to take your vitals.”
I briefly felt a something cold against my chest, and then it was all blackness again.
I opened my eyes. The room was shrouded in darkness. I felt a weight settle over my stomach and I looked down to see what it was. My breath caught and my chest ached. I couldn't believe it. My boy, my sweet precious Gun, was curled tight around me sleeping. How could this be? I must be dreaming. I moved my fingertips, they worked. I wiggled my toes; yep, still there. I took a chance on reality, and moved my arm to run my fingertips through his dark blonde hair. It was soft and gave me hope that this was real.
“Mom?” I heard his small voice that held so much uncertainty. I continued moving my fingers in his hair until they felt weighted. Before I knew it, I was drifting into darkness again.
The next time I woke, it was daylight and my boy was no longer curled around me. I wondered if it was a dream, but there was something familiar about the room, like I’d woken and seen it.
“He’s fishing with the boys,” I heard from across the room. I tried to sit up, but the slightest shift in movement, made my body scream in agony. The bed dipped next to me, and there he was, Gunner Reed. His dirty blonde hair fell slightly around those beautiful hazel eyes. Tattoos covered his arms, then a white t-shirt covered by a black motorcycle vest.
