Desertion
Page 56
“I think my friends are confused.” Bell turns to me and, this time, I laugh because I’m right there with them. I’ve never been so confused in my life.
“Are you staying for a drink?” Lissy asks, bringing me out of my head.
“No, I have to go back to the bar.” I look back and see Sarah is swamped. “I’ll be back. Don’t even think about leaving without me tonight.” I stand with Bell still in my arms.
“Put me down,” she squeals, so I kiss her to shut her up.
“Promise me,” I urge her.
“Okay, we’ll talk,” she concedes. I kiss her one more time, and then place her back on her feet.
“I’m watching,” I warn, turn, and then stalk back to the bar.
“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Jesse?” Sarah asks when I walk back around the bar, but I can’t answer.
I don’t know who I am. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anything more than what I have always offered, more than what I have ever been given. But having Bell come into my life has shown me that’s not true.
She’s a game changer, and holding back from her isn’t an option anymore. She’s worked her way under my skin, and I might not know how to handle it, but I do know I’m not ready to walk away.
Nowhere near ready.
Twenty BELL
“Girl, that man has it bad for you.” Lissy whistles as we all watch Jesse stalk back to the bar.
“Please, we’re just having fun.” I shake my head and watch as Jesse turns back one last time. He smirks like he knows we’re talking about him, then gives me a wink and turns back.
“Yeah, a man acts like that with all the bitches he’s having fun with.” Manda snorts then high fives Lissy. I know what they are saying; sometimes even I wonder what the hell he is thinking. One minute he runs hot, the next cold. But I’m not going to ask what’s going on. The last thing I want is to push him away, so I’ll just take what I can get.
It’s not that I can’t see his struggle. I can see when he fights it. Even last weekend when he took me to meet Conner, he was conflicted. The man is fighting his own demons.
“For now, it’s just some fun. Don’t start labeling us, guys. You should be happy I’m out having fun,” I fire back. It was their idea to come here tonight. I hadn’t planned on going out, but I didn’t put up much of a fight either. Mom and Dad are out of town and Ava is staying with one of her girlfriends. When Lissy showed up at my door I didn’t have a chance.
“If you say so.” Lissy sucks on the end of the straw. “So if you’re not serious about Jesse, you won’t mind if we invite some men over, have some more fun.” She nods at three guys who are all looking our way.
“You and I both know that wouldn’t be wise,” I say, looking back over at Jesse.
“Why? You’re just having fun,” she pushes.
“Don’t mess around, Lissy. You want to piss him off? Go ahead. But I’m not having any part of it.” I sit back and wait for her to play with fire.
“You’re no fun, Bell. You know that would be hot, seeing Jesse get jealous. I would pay to see it.”
“Me too,” Manda winks, only encouraging Lissy more.
“No,” I say, not one bit intent on encouraging them; instead, I stand, take my drink and head over to the bar.
“Come on, admit it. You would want to know what would happen,” Lissy yells, but I keep walking. Yeah, maybe seeing Jesse lose his shit would be interesting to see. But Jesse isn’t the type of man to play games. I’m not giving him any reason to push me away; instead, I make my way up to the bar and plant myself on a stool.
“Hi, I’m Sarah. You must be Bell.” A small blonde wearing a Liquid apron wrapped around her waist holds her hand out to me.
“Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you.” I offer my hand back and watch her assess me.
“Play nice, Sarah.” Jesse walks by and gives me one of his grins.
“Don’t worry, Jesse. I won’t tell her all of your dirty secrets,” Sarah jokes back, throwing me a wink for good measure.
“Just the juicy ones?” I ask, a little eager. Inside information on Jesse? Yeah, I’m down for that.
“I like her already,” Sarah declares, and I can’t help smiling.
Yes, I think Sarah and I need to have this talk. The more I know about Jesse, the easier it will be to figure him out.
“You ready to go?” Jesse steps around the bar and up into my space commanding my attention. After I started talking with Sarah, the night seemed to flash by. Lissy, Kate and Manda, ended up joining me at the bar and we spent the rest of the evening laughing with Sarah, as she kept us entertained with all her bar stories. A few involved Jesse, but nothing too embarrassing.
“Jesse,” I start to argue that I can’t go home with him, but deep down, there’s no point. He’s not going to let up, and honestly, I don’t want him to.
“Don't even think about arguing with me right now, Bell.” His tone takes a serious turn, his face tight, seconds away from losing it. He’s been throwing glances my way for the last two hours. Every time I laughed at something Sarah said, his eyes would narrow. I was beginning to think me being here tonight was pissing him off.
“You should go, Bell. We can catch up later,” Lissy pushes, with a glint in her eye. I shake my head at her and level my stare. Of course, she would encourage this.
“Are you staying for a drink?” Lissy asks, bringing me out of my head.
“No, I have to go back to the bar.” I look back and see Sarah is swamped. “I’ll be back. Don’t even think about leaving without me tonight.” I stand with Bell still in my arms.
“Put me down,” she squeals, so I kiss her to shut her up.
“Promise me,” I urge her.
“Okay, we’ll talk,” she concedes. I kiss her one more time, and then place her back on her feet.
“I’m watching,” I warn, turn, and then stalk back to the bar.
“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Jesse?” Sarah asks when I walk back around the bar, but I can’t answer.
I don’t know who I am. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anything more than what I have always offered, more than what I have ever been given. But having Bell come into my life has shown me that’s not true.
She’s a game changer, and holding back from her isn’t an option anymore. She’s worked her way under my skin, and I might not know how to handle it, but I do know I’m not ready to walk away.
Nowhere near ready.
Twenty BELL
“Girl, that man has it bad for you.” Lissy whistles as we all watch Jesse stalk back to the bar.
“Please, we’re just having fun.” I shake my head and watch as Jesse turns back one last time. He smirks like he knows we’re talking about him, then gives me a wink and turns back.
“Yeah, a man acts like that with all the bitches he’s having fun with.” Manda snorts then high fives Lissy. I know what they are saying; sometimes even I wonder what the hell he is thinking. One minute he runs hot, the next cold. But I’m not going to ask what’s going on. The last thing I want is to push him away, so I’ll just take what I can get.
It’s not that I can’t see his struggle. I can see when he fights it. Even last weekend when he took me to meet Conner, he was conflicted. The man is fighting his own demons.
“For now, it’s just some fun. Don’t start labeling us, guys. You should be happy I’m out having fun,” I fire back. It was their idea to come here tonight. I hadn’t planned on going out, but I didn’t put up much of a fight either. Mom and Dad are out of town and Ava is staying with one of her girlfriends. When Lissy showed up at my door I didn’t have a chance.
“If you say so.” Lissy sucks on the end of the straw. “So if you’re not serious about Jesse, you won’t mind if we invite some men over, have some more fun.” She nods at three guys who are all looking our way.
“You and I both know that wouldn’t be wise,” I say, looking back over at Jesse.
“Why? You’re just having fun,” she pushes.
“Don’t mess around, Lissy. You want to piss him off? Go ahead. But I’m not having any part of it.” I sit back and wait for her to play with fire.
“You’re no fun, Bell. You know that would be hot, seeing Jesse get jealous. I would pay to see it.”
“Me too,” Manda winks, only encouraging Lissy more.
“No,” I say, not one bit intent on encouraging them; instead, I stand, take my drink and head over to the bar.
“Come on, admit it. You would want to know what would happen,” Lissy yells, but I keep walking. Yeah, maybe seeing Jesse lose his shit would be interesting to see. But Jesse isn’t the type of man to play games. I’m not giving him any reason to push me away; instead, I make my way up to the bar and plant myself on a stool.
“Hi, I’m Sarah. You must be Bell.” A small blonde wearing a Liquid apron wrapped around her waist holds her hand out to me.
“Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you.” I offer my hand back and watch her assess me.
“Play nice, Sarah.” Jesse walks by and gives me one of his grins.
“Don’t worry, Jesse. I won’t tell her all of your dirty secrets,” Sarah jokes back, throwing me a wink for good measure.
“Just the juicy ones?” I ask, a little eager. Inside information on Jesse? Yeah, I’m down for that.
“I like her already,” Sarah declares, and I can’t help smiling.
Yes, I think Sarah and I need to have this talk. The more I know about Jesse, the easier it will be to figure him out.
“You ready to go?” Jesse steps around the bar and up into my space commanding my attention. After I started talking with Sarah, the night seemed to flash by. Lissy, Kate and Manda, ended up joining me at the bar and we spent the rest of the evening laughing with Sarah, as she kept us entertained with all her bar stories. A few involved Jesse, but nothing too embarrassing.
“Jesse,” I start to argue that I can’t go home with him, but deep down, there’s no point. He’s not going to let up, and honestly, I don’t want him to.
“Don't even think about arguing with me right now, Bell.” His tone takes a serious turn, his face tight, seconds away from losing it. He’s been throwing glances my way for the last two hours. Every time I laughed at something Sarah said, his eyes would narrow. I was beginning to think me being here tonight was pissing him off.
“You should go, Bell. We can catch up later,” Lissy pushes, with a glint in her eye. I shake my head at her and level my stare. Of course, she would encourage this.
