Desertion
Page 66
“Fine, just give me fifteen.”
“If I had my car, I’d leave right away. But since I don’t, I could ask one of the boys to drop me off.” She sounds different and I know she’s retreating. Part of me is happy she’s making it easier, saving me from asking her to go, but another part doesn’t know if I can.
“Your car is here. Hunter went back and got it.” I keep my eyes closed, locked in my own internal battle.
“Oh, okay, great then. Well, I might just head home.”
“Just give me fifteen minutes, Bell. We need to talk,” I repeat, needing to get my head together.
“Sure.” I hear the door shut. Knowing she’ll probably try to leave, I cut my shower short and follow her.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I don’t bother drying myself and walk out to my room. She’s not on the bed and her bag is gone. Moving to my cut, I check the pocket. My hand touches her keys and I sigh in relief. She can’t go anywhere without them. Dropping my towel, I quickly dress and head out to search for her. The clubhouse is quiet, most of the boys either headed to bed early or are not in tonight.
“Bell, you okay?” I hear Holly ask before I step into the kitchen. Halting myself, I move in close but keep hidden.
“Yeah, just looking for my keys. Have you seen them?” Bell’s voice is shaky and I’m worried she’s going to lose it.
“No, I haven’t. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look too good.”
“Really I’m fine. I just gotta run.” I can hear her searching the counter and I know she will come up empty handed.
“I heard about your little stunt tonight.” Holly laughs and I wait for Bell’s reply.
“I just want to find my sister, Holly.”
“Hey, I get it. I would do the same. You should have called Kadence and I. Hell, even Kelly would have come along.” I shake my head, knowing the four of them together would be dangerous.
“You all have kids, Holly. No way I’m dragging you into this.”
“Why the hell not? We’re your friends. We love you, Bell. We would do anything for you.” I roll my eyes at the little minx and remind myself never to trust her with Bell. She’s a troublemaker.
“Yeah, then I would have four scary biker men pissed at me, like Jesse is.”
“Ohhh, so that’s what’s wrong. Jesse got his panties in a twist ‘cause his woman didn’t obey him.” She starts laughing, hard.
“I am not Jesse’s woman. We’re just friends.” Her denying us as anything more twists my gut and I realize then I don’t know what the fuck I want.
“Friends?” She snorts but doesn’t go on.
“We aren’t in a relationship. Jesse’s made it very clear what we are and are not.”
“Jesse just needs a good smack upside the head. The man wouldn’t know what he wanted if it bit him in the ass. He’s clueless, Bell. In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever seen him with the same woman twice, let alone weeks.”
I stop and think about Holly’s words. She’s right. I have never let a woman get as close to me as I have let Bell. It should count for something.
“Well, I don’t think it’s any sort of relationship that he will continue after tonight.”
“Oh, please, the man has it bad. You could storm four biker hangouts and he’d still want you.”
“Maybe, but I just told him I loved him and he freaked out.”
“Oh, God! You said the L word?”
“As an accident. I was in the moment. It slipped out.”
“What did he do?” Not wanting to rehash what just went down, I step into the kitchen.
“Told me never to love him, that he can’t ever love me.” Holly sees me first, but keeps her mouth shut and her brows raised. Bell noticing Holly’s reaction turns.
“Ahh… Hi. Just looking for my keys.” A flush creeps across her cheeks. I watch her throat constrict as she tries to swallow before deciding what I’m going to do.
“Get your ass back in bed.” I ignore Holly and direct my stare on Bell. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m not ready to push her out just yet.
“I really should just get going, Jesse. I have to work tomorrow.” She pulls at her sleeves trying to play it cool, only I can see past it.
“Not gonna say it again.” I step back and wait for her to move. “Unless you want to do this right now in front of Holly?” I push, hoping she doesn’t. The last thing I need is for this to get around the club.
“Night, Holly.” She caves and steps past me, moving straight back to my room.
“Clearly she wasn’t fond of an audience.” Holly waves her goodbye then turns her eyes on me. “Be nice, Jesse.” She stands and moves to the sink.
“None of your business, Holly.” I step out of the kitchen but her voice stops me.
“No, but you once told me something I needed to hear. It’s your turn.” I turn back and watch her, remembering the time when she and Sy were in a bad place.
“You’re going to hurt her if you don’t start being real. You can hide all you want, pretend all you want, but you and I both know you’re falling in love.”
“Holly, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” I don’t need her bullshit on top of everything else tonight.
“What I don’t understand is if you’re afraid of love itself, or afraid of what it’s going to change.”
“If I had my car, I’d leave right away. But since I don’t, I could ask one of the boys to drop me off.” She sounds different and I know she’s retreating. Part of me is happy she’s making it easier, saving me from asking her to go, but another part doesn’t know if I can.
“Your car is here. Hunter went back and got it.” I keep my eyes closed, locked in my own internal battle.
“Oh, okay, great then. Well, I might just head home.”
“Just give me fifteen minutes, Bell. We need to talk,” I repeat, needing to get my head together.
“Sure.” I hear the door shut. Knowing she’ll probably try to leave, I cut my shower short and follow her.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I don’t bother drying myself and walk out to my room. She’s not on the bed and her bag is gone. Moving to my cut, I check the pocket. My hand touches her keys and I sigh in relief. She can’t go anywhere without them. Dropping my towel, I quickly dress and head out to search for her. The clubhouse is quiet, most of the boys either headed to bed early or are not in tonight.
“Bell, you okay?” I hear Holly ask before I step into the kitchen. Halting myself, I move in close but keep hidden.
“Yeah, just looking for my keys. Have you seen them?” Bell’s voice is shaky and I’m worried she’s going to lose it.
“No, I haven’t. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look too good.”
“Really I’m fine. I just gotta run.” I can hear her searching the counter and I know she will come up empty handed.
“I heard about your little stunt tonight.” Holly laughs and I wait for Bell’s reply.
“I just want to find my sister, Holly.”
“Hey, I get it. I would do the same. You should have called Kadence and I. Hell, even Kelly would have come along.” I shake my head, knowing the four of them together would be dangerous.
“You all have kids, Holly. No way I’m dragging you into this.”
“Why the hell not? We’re your friends. We love you, Bell. We would do anything for you.” I roll my eyes at the little minx and remind myself never to trust her with Bell. She’s a troublemaker.
“Yeah, then I would have four scary biker men pissed at me, like Jesse is.”
“Ohhh, so that’s what’s wrong. Jesse got his panties in a twist ‘cause his woman didn’t obey him.” She starts laughing, hard.
“I am not Jesse’s woman. We’re just friends.” Her denying us as anything more twists my gut and I realize then I don’t know what the fuck I want.
“Friends?” She snorts but doesn’t go on.
“We aren’t in a relationship. Jesse’s made it very clear what we are and are not.”
“Jesse just needs a good smack upside the head. The man wouldn’t know what he wanted if it bit him in the ass. He’s clueless, Bell. In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever seen him with the same woman twice, let alone weeks.”
I stop and think about Holly’s words. She’s right. I have never let a woman get as close to me as I have let Bell. It should count for something.
“Well, I don’t think it’s any sort of relationship that he will continue after tonight.”
“Oh, please, the man has it bad. You could storm four biker hangouts and he’d still want you.”
“Maybe, but I just told him I loved him and he freaked out.”
“Oh, God! You said the L word?”
“As an accident. I was in the moment. It slipped out.”
“What did he do?” Not wanting to rehash what just went down, I step into the kitchen.
“Told me never to love him, that he can’t ever love me.” Holly sees me first, but keeps her mouth shut and her brows raised. Bell noticing Holly’s reaction turns.
“Ahh… Hi. Just looking for my keys.” A flush creeps across her cheeks. I watch her throat constrict as she tries to swallow before deciding what I’m going to do.
“Get your ass back in bed.” I ignore Holly and direct my stare on Bell. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m not ready to push her out just yet.
“I really should just get going, Jesse. I have to work tomorrow.” She pulls at her sleeves trying to play it cool, only I can see past it.
“Not gonna say it again.” I step back and wait for her to move. “Unless you want to do this right now in front of Holly?” I push, hoping she doesn’t. The last thing I need is for this to get around the club.
“Night, Holly.” She caves and steps past me, moving straight back to my room.
“Clearly she wasn’t fond of an audience.” Holly waves her goodbye then turns her eyes on me. “Be nice, Jesse.” She stands and moves to the sink.
“None of your business, Holly.” I step out of the kitchen but her voice stops me.
“No, but you once told me something I needed to hear. It’s your turn.” I turn back and watch her, remembering the time when she and Sy were in a bad place.
“You’re going to hurt her if you don’t start being real. You can hide all you want, pretend all you want, but you and I both know you’re falling in love.”
“Holly, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” I don’t need her bullshit on top of everything else tonight.
“What I don’t understand is if you’re afraid of love itself, or afraid of what it’s going to change.”
