Desertion
Page 97
“I’ll be fine, but thank you.” I give him a smile that says I don’t need him, and then turn back to Lissy. “Go.” I roll my eyes when she bounces her brows.
“Love you, let Jesse walk you up.” She laughs, stands, takes Beau’s hand and lets him pull her away. Well shit.
“So looks like it’s just you and me,” Jesse finally says when they make their way through the club.
I look over to Hunter for help, but he just shrugs before standing and leaving us alone. Great.
“Listen, Jesse, I’ll be fine to get up to my room,” I tell him as I come to my feet. I reach for my bag and get ready to walk off, before his hand reaches out and stops me.
He tugs me into him and whispers in my ear, “I’m not willing to risk it.” His hot breath hits my skin, forcing an awareness to spike through me that starts from his hold around my wrist and heading straight to my stomach. I try to pull out of his hold, but it’s pointless when he just pulls me closer.
“I’m quite capable, Jesse.”
“I’m sure you are, Bell, but I’m insisting.” His touch and the way he rolls his tongue over my name has my breath quickening. “Please, don’t fight me,” he adds before stepping back and cutting our connection.
Resigned to him following this through, I nod once and let him lead the way to the elevators. He stays close to my side, his palm on the small of my back. I want to step out of his touch, tell him that having him in my space is messing with me, but I don’t. I just keep walking, vowing not to engage with him again.
“So, how have you been, Bell?” Jesse finally breaks the silence when we come to a halt in front of the elevators.
I don’t respond at first. My vow not to cave, is fresh. I refuse to give in.
“We can do this the hard way, or the easy way.” Jesse steps in closer but I retreat.
“Or we can not do it at all,” I counter with a forced smile.
“I promise you, you won’t like the hard way.” He ignores me and continues to make threats.
“I’m good. Busy,” I relent, answering his first question and not liking the glint in his eyes. It’s like he’s wanting to push me right now, and it’s making me vulnerable.
“You?” I find myself asking, wanting to know.
“Better.” He rocks on his feet, keeping his eyes on the highlighted buttons above the door. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at hearing his honesty. Why couldn’t he just say good?
“I heard you moved out with Lissy.” He keeps the conversation going and even if I don’t want to talk to him, I can’t help but answer.
“Yeah, you were right. I had to move out. Live my life,” I whisper, remembering his last words to me that night.
“Damn it, Bell. I’m an ass. You shouldn’t have listened to me.” He sighs, turning his body to face me.
“Yes, Jesse. You were an ass, a big one. But alas, you were right. I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me.” I look up, giving him a pass. I know it was hard to hear those words from him, but as much as I hated it, he was right. I needed to get out of my parents’ house, from under their hold.
“Still doesn’t make it right.” He steps closer and my breath catches in my throat. Where is this elevator? Trying not to give him my eyes, I shift my stare back to the doors, willing them to open.
“Jesse, you were in a bad place. I get it. I do. I don’t hate you. I’ve forgiven you for that.”
“You have?” he asks as the doors slide open. Ignoring the hope I hear in his voice, I enter the elevator and hit the button to my floor. Jesse follows behind me, dashing my hopes of a clean getaway.
“I have to say, Bell, that’s the last thing I was expecting.”
“Why? You think I would hold a grudge? I’m not like that and you’re not a bad person. You have a big heart,” I admit, pressing the close door button repeatedly, wishing everything would hurry up.
“But you haven’t been taking my calls, returning my texts.” It’s not a question, but a statement. One I was hoping not to address.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Jesse. But you did. Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean everything between us is okay.” I give it to him straight, needing him to understand I’m still hurting.
“I know, baby.” He steps forward and I nearly cave with the way he calls me baby. “I fucked up more than I ever have in my entire life and I’m going to make it up to you.” He carefully steps more into my space.
“Please, Jesse, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” I close my eyes, my resolve slipping. Get it together, Bell. He gets you alone in an elevator and you melt into a puddle of need.
“Look at me,” he demands, his warm breath hitting my face. My eyes spring open at the demand and I swallow when I realize how close he is. “I’m not giving up, Bell.” He shakes his head, determination etched into his face, and it frightens me. How can I resist him?
“What we had, it wasn’t healthy.” A whimper flies past my lips when he dips his head and runs his nose along my jaw.
“No, Bell. I won’t accept that. What we had was real.” His voice is solid and sure. I’m almost reassured by it, but my defiance comes crashing back just as the elevator doors spring open. Seeing my chance to escape, I push him back, breaking our connection.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Jesse.” I rush past him, retreating to my room.
“Love you, let Jesse walk you up.” She laughs, stands, takes Beau’s hand and lets him pull her away. Well shit.
“So looks like it’s just you and me,” Jesse finally says when they make their way through the club.
I look over to Hunter for help, but he just shrugs before standing and leaving us alone. Great.
“Listen, Jesse, I’ll be fine to get up to my room,” I tell him as I come to my feet. I reach for my bag and get ready to walk off, before his hand reaches out and stops me.
He tugs me into him and whispers in my ear, “I’m not willing to risk it.” His hot breath hits my skin, forcing an awareness to spike through me that starts from his hold around my wrist and heading straight to my stomach. I try to pull out of his hold, but it’s pointless when he just pulls me closer.
“I’m quite capable, Jesse.”
“I’m sure you are, Bell, but I’m insisting.” His touch and the way he rolls his tongue over my name has my breath quickening. “Please, don’t fight me,” he adds before stepping back and cutting our connection.
Resigned to him following this through, I nod once and let him lead the way to the elevators. He stays close to my side, his palm on the small of my back. I want to step out of his touch, tell him that having him in my space is messing with me, but I don’t. I just keep walking, vowing not to engage with him again.
“So, how have you been, Bell?” Jesse finally breaks the silence when we come to a halt in front of the elevators.
I don’t respond at first. My vow not to cave, is fresh. I refuse to give in.
“We can do this the hard way, or the easy way.” Jesse steps in closer but I retreat.
“Or we can not do it at all,” I counter with a forced smile.
“I promise you, you won’t like the hard way.” He ignores me and continues to make threats.
“I’m good. Busy,” I relent, answering his first question and not liking the glint in his eyes. It’s like he’s wanting to push me right now, and it’s making me vulnerable.
“You?” I find myself asking, wanting to know.
“Better.” He rocks on his feet, keeping his eyes on the highlighted buttons above the door. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at hearing his honesty. Why couldn’t he just say good?
“I heard you moved out with Lissy.” He keeps the conversation going and even if I don’t want to talk to him, I can’t help but answer.
“Yeah, you were right. I had to move out. Live my life,” I whisper, remembering his last words to me that night.
“Damn it, Bell. I’m an ass. You shouldn’t have listened to me.” He sighs, turning his body to face me.
“Yes, Jesse. You were an ass, a big one. But alas, you were right. I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me.” I look up, giving him a pass. I know it was hard to hear those words from him, but as much as I hated it, he was right. I needed to get out of my parents’ house, from under their hold.
“Still doesn’t make it right.” He steps closer and my breath catches in my throat. Where is this elevator? Trying not to give him my eyes, I shift my stare back to the doors, willing them to open.
“Jesse, you were in a bad place. I get it. I do. I don’t hate you. I’ve forgiven you for that.”
“You have?” he asks as the doors slide open. Ignoring the hope I hear in his voice, I enter the elevator and hit the button to my floor. Jesse follows behind me, dashing my hopes of a clean getaway.
“I have to say, Bell, that’s the last thing I was expecting.”
“Why? You think I would hold a grudge? I’m not like that and you’re not a bad person. You have a big heart,” I admit, pressing the close door button repeatedly, wishing everything would hurry up.
“But you haven’t been taking my calls, returning my texts.” It’s not a question, but a statement. One I was hoping not to address.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Jesse. But you did. Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean everything between us is okay.” I give it to him straight, needing him to understand I’m still hurting.
“I know, baby.” He steps forward and I nearly cave with the way he calls me baby. “I fucked up more than I ever have in my entire life and I’m going to make it up to you.” He carefully steps more into my space.
“Please, Jesse, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” I close my eyes, my resolve slipping. Get it together, Bell. He gets you alone in an elevator and you melt into a puddle of need.
“Look at me,” he demands, his warm breath hitting my face. My eyes spring open at the demand and I swallow when I realize how close he is. “I’m not giving up, Bell.” He shakes his head, determination etched into his face, and it frightens me. How can I resist him?
“What we had, it wasn’t healthy.” A whimper flies past my lips when he dips his head and runs his nose along my jaw.
“No, Bell. I won’t accept that. What we had was real.” His voice is solid and sure. I’m almost reassured by it, but my defiance comes crashing back just as the elevator doors spring open. Seeing my chance to escape, I push him back, breaking our connection.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Jesse.” I rush past him, retreating to my room.
