Drawn Together
Page 38
“Dude, there’s a lot to be said for midlife crises. Mine came with a hot artist with tits that defy gravity. What’s not to like? I have all my hair and I’m in love.”
“A crisis implies there’s something wrong you need to make up for. This isn’t a crisis. It’s the opposite. I feel totally clear for the first time since Carrie was born. I’m head over my ass in love.”
“Love? Jonah, you’ve been seeing her what? A month?”
“Not quite. But I’m not a teenager. I’ve been to the rodeo, so to speak. I know what infatuation is. I know what lust is. Lust was me f**king the server over there. This woman gets to me. Not because she’s gorgeous, though certainly that’s a bonus. Not because she’s insightful and intelligent, talented, artistic. Not just because she makes me feel like no one ever has in bed. There’s a connection with her that I’ve never, ever had before. I click with her. She . . . I don’t know how to put it into words that do it justice, Levi. But she makes me feel. She makes me work harder than I ever have with a woman. Goddamn, she’s defensive. Bitchy. Sharp and prickly. But so vulnerable. Fragile. The sum of her is irresistible.”
“So you’re going to save her? Is that it? Be the guy who’s done what no one else has?”
“First of all, Dr. Phil, I already have done what no one else has. I listen to her. I accept her. But I don’t take her shit. And I don’t let her push me away. I’m not with her because I’m some f**k-drunk frat boy who has a hard-on for ink and piercings. She’s something else. More than I ever thought I’d find in a partner. She’s a grown-up. She listens to me. She sees things in a way most never will. I don’t need to save her. She’s a woman who’s done plenty of her own saving. She’s endured a lot.” He sipped his drink.
“I’m just saying it seems sudden. You’re not a sudden type of guy.”
“Isn’t love really about someone being something no one else has been? Isn’t that what you have with Daisy? What you didn’t with Kelsey? What I never did with Charlotte? Isn’t it about that connection that clicks and settles down all that noise in your head? She excites me. She challenges me. I’m on fire when I’m with her. Not just the sex, though, wow. She’s that part inside I never knew I’d been missing. But now that I’ve found her, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Levi dug into the sandwich he’d ordered. “Wow. Well, congratulations then. For what it’s worth, I like her. Though she’s prickly, no doubt about it.”
“Now I just have to convince her I’m in it for the long haul. A lot of people have failed her in her life.” Jonah paused, wiping his mouth. “This is going to make us both uncomfortable, but here goes. You’re into the D/s stuff right? I mean, we’ve skirted around it . . .”
Levi nodded. “It wasn’t something I was really able to get into with Kelsey. I dabbled before Daisy. But she, Daisy, I mean, she just—it works with her. You and Raven?” Levi ate a while as he thought. “I’d be careful around any possible stuff that might bring up her abuse. I’m assuming she’s got some in her background and that’s what you were referring to.”
“I don’t want to say too much about that. She’s given me her confidence and I can’t betray it. But it hasn’t been an issue. Her sexuality is strong. She’s vibrant. She knows what she wants and I have zero doubt that if she didn’t want it, she’d let me know. This isn’t therapy for her. Or me for that matter. She needs . . . a strong hand. She needs to let go of all her control.”
“So you’re going to take her in hand?”
“Not in a paternalistic sense. Like I said, she’s a grown-ass woman. But all her bullshit notions about what a relationship is, what it means to be with someone, they need to be broken apart. She submits, holy shit, she gives over and it’s like everything just feels perfect. I need to break down her defenses, so she knows she can count on me.”
“That makes sense. Bind her perhaps?”
“I can’t believe we’re having this discussion.” Jonah snorted, taking a few hearty gulps of his scotch.
“Ha. You started it.”
“I’m going to collar her.”
Levi sat back. “Really? I can’t imagine she’d go for that.”
“Not to own her. But I think she needs that underline on my commitment. It’s a declaration from me, a tangible one. I think she needs to be peeled open, layer after layer, and since we really click sexually, I think that’s our key.”
Levi nodded. “I can see that. But I’d be sure my first-aid kit was stocked. Just in case she sees it differently.”
Jonah snorted. “She’s dangerous enough to kick my ass if I push too hard.”
“Hot though. Daisy undoes me when she’s like that. So, when are you seeing her again?”
“She’s coming over next week to do some more on my back. But I’m trying to get her to agree to be my date for the museum benefit this weekend. You and Daisy will be there, right?”
“Yes.” Levi gave him a look. “You sure about that?”
“Why?”
“Don’t give me that face. Mother is going to be there. Have you told her about Raven yet?”
“I’m a forty-two-year-old man. I don’t run my romantic life past my mother. Anyway, she and I are having lunch before the board meeting on Thursday so I was planning on it then.” He shrugged. “I mean to make Raven part of my life. I’m telling Carrie about her this week. I wanted to do it face-to-face, but she’s getting ready to go to Paris with her friends and I wanted her to know before I took her around anywhere she’d come into contact with Mother.”
“A crisis implies there’s something wrong you need to make up for. This isn’t a crisis. It’s the opposite. I feel totally clear for the first time since Carrie was born. I’m head over my ass in love.”
“Love? Jonah, you’ve been seeing her what? A month?”
“Not quite. But I’m not a teenager. I’ve been to the rodeo, so to speak. I know what infatuation is. I know what lust is. Lust was me f**king the server over there. This woman gets to me. Not because she’s gorgeous, though certainly that’s a bonus. Not because she’s insightful and intelligent, talented, artistic. Not just because she makes me feel like no one ever has in bed. There’s a connection with her that I’ve never, ever had before. I click with her. She . . . I don’t know how to put it into words that do it justice, Levi. But she makes me feel. She makes me work harder than I ever have with a woman. Goddamn, she’s defensive. Bitchy. Sharp and prickly. But so vulnerable. Fragile. The sum of her is irresistible.”
“So you’re going to save her? Is that it? Be the guy who’s done what no one else has?”
“First of all, Dr. Phil, I already have done what no one else has. I listen to her. I accept her. But I don’t take her shit. And I don’t let her push me away. I’m not with her because I’m some f**k-drunk frat boy who has a hard-on for ink and piercings. She’s something else. More than I ever thought I’d find in a partner. She’s a grown-up. She listens to me. She sees things in a way most never will. I don’t need to save her. She’s a woman who’s done plenty of her own saving. She’s endured a lot.” He sipped his drink.
“I’m just saying it seems sudden. You’re not a sudden type of guy.”
“Isn’t love really about someone being something no one else has been? Isn’t that what you have with Daisy? What you didn’t with Kelsey? What I never did with Charlotte? Isn’t it about that connection that clicks and settles down all that noise in your head? She excites me. She challenges me. I’m on fire when I’m with her. Not just the sex, though, wow. She’s that part inside I never knew I’d been missing. But now that I’ve found her, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Levi dug into the sandwich he’d ordered. “Wow. Well, congratulations then. For what it’s worth, I like her. Though she’s prickly, no doubt about it.”
“Now I just have to convince her I’m in it for the long haul. A lot of people have failed her in her life.” Jonah paused, wiping his mouth. “This is going to make us both uncomfortable, but here goes. You’re into the D/s stuff right? I mean, we’ve skirted around it . . .”
Levi nodded. “It wasn’t something I was really able to get into with Kelsey. I dabbled before Daisy. But she, Daisy, I mean, she just—it works with her. You and Raven?” Levi ate a while as he thought. “I’d be careful around any possible stuff that might bring up her abuse. I’m assuming she’s got some in her background and that’s what you were referring to.”
“I don’t want to say too much about that. She’s given me her confidence and I can’t betray it. But it hasn’t been an issue. Her sexuality is strong. She’s vibrant. She knows what she wants and I have zero doubt that if she didn’t want it, she’d let me know. This isn’t therapy for her. Or me for that matter. She needs . . . a strong hand. She needs to let go of all her control.”
“So you’re going to take her in hand?”
“Not in a paternalistic sense. Like I said, she’s a grown-ass woman. But all her bullshit notions about what a relationship is, what it means to be with someone, they need to be broken apart. She submits, holy shit, she gives over and it’s like everything just feels perfect. I need to break down her defenses, so she knows she can count on me.”
“That makes sense. Bind her perhaps?”
“I can’t believe we’re having this discussion.” Jonah snorted, taking a few hearty gulps of his scotch.
“Ha. You started it.”
“I’m going to collar her.”
Levi sat back. “Really? I can’t imagine she’d go for that.”
“Not to own her. But I think she needs that underline on my commitment. It’s a declaration from me, a tangible one. I think she needs to be peeled open, layer after layer, and since we really click sexually, I think that’s our key.”
Levi nodded. “I can see that. But I’d be sure my first-aid kit was stocked. Just in case she sees it differently.”
Jonah snorted. “She’s dangerous enough to kick my ass if I push too hard.”
“Hot though. Daisy undoes me when she’s like that. So, when are you seeing her again?”
“She’s coming over next week to do some more on my back. But I’m trying to get her to agree to be my date for the museum benefit this weekend. You and Daisy will be there, right?”
“Yes.” Levi gave him a look. “You sure about that?”
“Why?”
“Don’t give me that face. Mother is going to be there. Have you told her about Raven yet?”
“I’m a forty-two-year-old man. I don’t run my romantic life past my mother. Anyway, she and I are having lunch before the board meeting on Thursday so I was planning on it then.” He shrugged. “I mean to make Raven part of my life. I’m telling Carrie about her this week. I wanted to do it face-to-face, but she’s getting ready to go to Paris with her friends and I wanted her to know before I took her around anywhere she’d come into contact with Mother.”
