Effortless
Page 74
'Remember today, that I love you.'
Smiling like an idiot, I shoved the memento back in my pocket, and finished getting ready for school.
So much had happened in the past few hours that doing something as mundane as going to a writing class felt sort of odd. My secret about Denny was out. Kellan's secret about his dad was out. I was going to try trusting him with the assortment of floozies that seemed to hover around him, and he was going to trust me to be just friends with my ex.
It was sort of...epic...for us, and a huge step in the right direction. Maybe it was too soon, but I felt good about our future. No, I felt great about it.
Skipping a little as I made my way to the door, I stopped and grabbed the Chevelle keys. Kellan had tossed them on the half-moon table that we'd often used as a dumping area for our various car keys when we'd all lived here together, ages ago.
Not having brought my schoolwork to Kellan's last night, I locked up Kellan's home, started Kellan's car, and made my way back to my place. Well, my place for now. I'd have to tell my sister that she'd have a room free for the baby. I wasn't sure if that would make her decision on keeping the baby easier or not. She'd have more space, but she'd be on her own. Sort of. I'd never let her be truly alone.
She was in the kitchen when I opened our door. Having gathered her bravery, she was again reading through the book about pregnancy. The part she was reading must not have been too scary, she had a small smile on her face and a hand on her belly.
Used to seeing her up at an earlier hour, since she'd started going to bed at a more respectable time, I smiled at her. "Hey, sis."
She glanced up from her book, small tears in her eyes. "Hey, Kiera. Did you know that the baby is about the size of a grape, and she's already forming fingers and toes?"
Walking up to glance at the book she was reading, I contained a smile. "She?" I asked casually, catching the feminine pronoun.
Swishing her hand in the air, she raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, I'm having a girl." She shook her head. "There's just no way I'd put another Griffin on this earth."
I let my smile show through, amused that she thought she had any say on the matter. I did hope she was right though. The firmness of her statement also made me happy. She'd said I'm having a girl. She'd personalized the pregnancy in a way that she hadn't before. She was bonding with the baby growing in her belly. That was definitely a good thing.
Not saying anything that might sway her one way or the other, I grabbed my bag off of the dining room table. I felt my sister's eyes watching me and I knew I had a sappy smile on my face. I just felt better about Kellan and me than I had in a long time.
Setting her book down, Anna crossed her arms over her chest...her getting larger chest. "Are you just now getting home? Where were you last night?" She narrowed her eyes when she said it, like she was sure I'd been with Denny.
Smiling at whose arms I'd been wrapped in, I shrugged. "I stayed at Kellan's."
She blinked. "Oh...alone?"
Smiling wider, I shook my head. "No..."
I trailed off, remembering Kellan's fingers on my body, his lips on my neck. Anna took my satisfied expression to mean one thing-she smacked me upside the head. "Damn it, Kiera. You hooked up with Denny, didn't you?"
Rubbing my skull, I frowned and considered smacking her back. The baby in her belly was the only thing that stayed my hand. "No, I did not, thank you very much." As she frowned at me, her full lips forming a perfect pout, I rolled my eyes and clarified. "Kellan flew in last night to surprise me. I spent the night with him."
I flushed after saying it, our heated night fresh in my brain. Anna blinked again. "Oh...oh!" She gave me a hug. "Oh, I'm so relieved. I was going to kill you if you'd gotten yourself stuck in another love triangle." Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "Especially if it was the same love triangle." Smirking, she added, "If you're gonna be an idiot...at least branch out."
That time I did smack her, just on the arm, though.
Thinking of Kellan, and everything that had been discussed between us, I felt heat entering my cheeks. There was one part of last night that Anna wasn't going to like, one part that I sort of hadn't meant to tell Kellan, but I'd had to, to defend myself.
As I bit my lip, Anna scrunched her brow. "What?" she asked cautiously.
"Don't be mad..."
She instantly got mad. Tossing her hands in the air, she screeched, "You told him! Kellan is Griffin's best friend, and you told him? Kiera!"
I stepped back from her harsh tone, then scrunched my own brows. "Kellan is Griffin's best friend? Really?" Kellan had always seemed...tolerant of his bassist, at best.
Anna dropped her head into her hands. "Goddamn it, Kiera, you promised."
Feeling bad, I put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I had to."
She glared at me between her fingers. "You had to?"
Sighing, I removed my hand from her body. "Kellan found the bag of tests..." Remembering his face when he'd broken up with me, I frowned. "He thought I was pregnant..."
Anna immediately stopped her pissy attitude, her hands covering her mouth as she gasped. "Oh God, Kiera...I'm sorry. I didn't think...I'm so sorry." I smiled feebly at her and she touched my shoulder, her face now only showing concern. "Are you guys okay? Are you still...together?" she whispered.
Thinking of his grin when he'd said goodbye, I nodded. "Yeah, we...talked it out." Talked, accused, cried, yelled...made love.
Exhaling in relief, she smiled. "Oh good, I'd hate to think that I..." Her face hardened back up as she remembered her situation. "He won't say anything to Griffin, right? You told him not to, right?"
I tilted my head, trying to remember if I'd ever told Kellan, specifically, to not say anything to the soon-to-be dad. "Um, well, things were a little intense and I don't think I actually..."
She shoved my shoulder back. "Kiera?"
Frowning at her shifting moods, I shook my head. "I told him you were considering adoption, so I'm sure he won't mention anything to Griffin until you've decided."
Her mouth dropped open and a hand subconsciously rested on her belly. "You told him I was thinking of giving her up? Why would you tell him?"
Interested by her reaction, I said, "He needed to know why I didn't tell him about the pregnancy right away." I shook my head. "There was too much tension between us and I couldn't lie. I'm sorry, I had to tell him the truth."
She nodded, then sat in a folding chair by the table. Tears immediately started filling her eyes. "So now Kellan thinks I'm awful, huh? Giving up my baby..."
She swallowed, choking back a sob and I squatted in front of her. Holding her hands, I shook my head. "No, no of course not. Kellan...understands." I wasn't sure if Kellan did or not, but I couldn't say anything else to Anna, she was on the verge of losing it.
She nodded a few times as tears started trickling from her eyes. Then her mood shifted another way. It happened so fast, I nearly got whiplash. Standing up, her face was instantly fiery. "You need to call Kellan, and make him keep his mouth shut!"
Her fast movement had made me lose balance and from my new seat on the floor, I glanced up at her. "What?"
Rummaging through my bag, Anna found my phone and flung it at me. "Call him! Do whatever you have to do!" She indicated my body with her finger. "Do that heavy breathing and moaning thing that I hear through the walls all the time-whatever you have to do!" She pointed at me, adding, "But make sure he keeps his big mouth shut!"
My mouth dropped wide open. Oh my God! Had she heard the phone sex? Jesus, I'll be so happy when I was out of here. I flicked open the phone and dialed Kellan's number. It rang a few times, then, "Hey, this is Kellan. I'm probably onstage or making out with my girl. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you... if I feel like it."
I smiled at the message that I begged him repeatedly to change. "Hey, Kellan, it's me. Um, Anna's flipping out about you telling Griffin..." Anna glared at me and I sputtered out, "Just call me back, okay?"
Shutting the phone, I shook my head. "He's traveling back to the band. He's probably in the air, or just about to land somewhere."
She sighed grumpily and I stood up, wondering if I should try and comfort her or run away from her. Figuring her mood couldn't possibly swing much farther today, I thought I'd take a chance and tell her the good news. Grabbing my bag, since I did need to head out to school, I started backing away from her.
"I'll try him later today, alright?" Anna nodded, her arms re-crossing over her chest. Knowing it was now or never, I quickly added, "I should probably tell you, so you have lots of time to make arrangements, but...I'm moving back in with Kellan."
I waited just long enough to see her mouth drop open, then I yanked on the door and quickly made my escape. I thought I heard cursing as I fled down the hall.
Kellan called me back just as I shut off his car in the school parking lot. Watching my schoolmates shuffle about, on their way to this class or that class, I couldn't help but wonder if their lives were as dramatic as mine tended to be.
A light splattering of April rain hit my windshield, making circular shapes that coalesced into long streams. Flowers were in bloom along the berms that I could see from the solitude of my car, petals open in welcome to the moisture. When I'd first come here, I'd hated the drizzle, preferring warmth and dryness, but I had so many nice memories that were wrapped in rain, that I'd come to embrace it, just as much as the locals.
The cell phone propped against my ear filled with Kellan's warm laugh. His sound, combined with the light ting of drops hitting the roof, brought an image of Kellan into my mind-wet, hair slicked around his eyes, drops trailing across his lips...
"Hey, I just landed. Miss me already?"
My image of him insanely erotic, I laughed, huskily. "Always."
"You said your sister was freaking out?"
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, she's just afraid of Griffin finding out...before she's ready to tell him."
Kellan sighed as well. "I wouldn't...that's not my secret to share."
I smiled, his comment meaning that he also understood why I hadn't told him. "Well, I think she will tell him, and I think she's going to keep it...or her, I should say, since Anna is convinced she's having a girl."
Kellan chuckled. "Let's hope so. I think a baby girl to dote on is just what Griffin needs."
"Would you want a baby girl one day?" I asked, then blushed. I hadn't meant to ask him about kids yet. One step at a time, Kiera.
He was quiet a moment, then, "Yeah...a girl, or a boy, would be fine, but...yeah, I do want kids."
I giggled, softly. "Me too," I whispered. A comfortable silence passed between us, and knowing I had to go to class, I sighed. "I should go...are we good?"
Kellan gave me a soft laugh. "I didn't convince you of that before I left? Really? You...sounded convinced." I felt the heat burn my cheeks as echoes of my...conviction...echoed through my head. Before I could answer, Kellan said, "Yeah, Kiera...I think we're better than we've ever been, actually."
Smiling like an idiot, I shoved the memento back in my pocket, and finished getting ready for school.
So much had happened in the past few hours that doing something as mundane as going to a writing class felt sort of odd. My secret about Denny was out. Kellan's secret about his dad was out. I was going to try trusting him with the assortment of floozies that seemed to hover around him, and he was going to trust me to be just friends with my ex.
It was sort of...epic...for us, and a huge step in the right direction. Maybe it was too soon, but I felt good about our future. No, I felt great about it.
Skipping a little as I made my way to the door, I stopped and grabbed the Chevelle keys. Kellan had tossed them on the half-moon table that we'd often used as a dumping area for our various car keys when we'd all lived here together, ages ago.
Not having brought my schoolwork to Kellan's last night, I locked up Kellan's home, started Kellan's car, and made my way back to my place. Well, my place for now. I'd have to tell my sister that she'd have a room free for the baby. I wasn't sure if that would make her decision on keeping the baby easier or not. She'd have more space, but she'd be on her own. Sort of. I'd never let her be truly alone.
She was in the kitchen when I opened our door. Having gathered her bravery, she was again reading through the book about pregnancy. The part she was reading must not have been too scary, she had a small smile on her face and a hand on her belly.
Used to seeing her up at an earlier hour, since she'd started going to bed at a more respectable time, I smiled at her. "Hey, sis."
She glanced up from her book, small tears in her eyes. "Hey, Kiera. Did you know that the baby is about the size of a grape, and she's already forming fingers and toes?"
Walking up to glance at the book she was reading, I contained a smile. "She?" I asked casually, catching the feminine pronoun.
Swishing her hand in the air, she raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, I'm having a girl." She shook her head. "There's just no way I'd put another Griffin on this earth."
I let my smile show through, amused that she thought she had any say on the matter. I did hope she was right though. The firmness of her statement also made me happy. She'd said I'm having a girl. She'd personalized the pregnancy in a way that she hadn't before. She was bonding with the baby growing in her belly. That was definitely a good thing.
Not saying anything that might sway her one way or the other, I grabbed my bag off of the dining room table. I felt my sister's eyes watching me and I knew I had a sappy smile on my face. I just felt better about Kellan and me than I had in a long time.
Setting her book down, Anna crossed her arms over her chest...her getting larger chest. "Are you just now getting home? Where were you last night?" She narrowed her eyes when she said it, like she was sure I'd been with Denny.
Smiling at whose arms I'd been wrapped in, I shrugged. "I stayed at Kellan's."
She blinked. "Oh...alone?"
Smiling wider, I shook my head. "No..."
I trailed off, remembering Kellan's fingers on my body, his lips on my neck. Anna took my satisfied expression to mean one thing-she smacked me upside the head. "Damn it, Kiera. You hooked up with Denny, didn't you?"
Rubbing my skull, I frowned and considered smacking her back. The baby in her belly was the only thing that stayed my hand. "No, I did not, thank you very much." As she frowned at me, her full lips forming a perfect pout, I rolled my eyes and clarified. "Kellan flew in last night to surprise me. I spent the night with him."
I flushed after saying it, our heated night fresh in my brain. Anna blinked again. "Oh...oh!" She gave me a hug. "Oh, I'm so relieved. I was going to kill you if you'd gotten yourself stuck in another love triangle." Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "Especially if it was the same love triangle." Smirking, she added, "If you're gonna be an idiot...at least branch out."
That time I did smack her, just on the arm, though.
Thinking of Kellan, and everything that had been discussed between us, I felt heat entering my cheeks. There was one part of last night that Anna wasn't going to like, one part that I sort of hadn't meant to tell Kellan, but I'd had to, to defend myself.
As I bit my lip, Anna scrunched her brow. "What?" she asked cautiously.
"Don't be mad..."
She instantly got mad. Tossing her hands in the air, she screeched, "You told him! Kellan is Griffin's best friend, and you told him? Kiera!"
I stepped back from her harsh tone, then scrunched my own brows. "Kellan is Griffin's best friend? Really?" Kellan had always seemed...tolerant of his bassist, at best.
Anna dropped her head into her hands. "Goddamn it, Kiera, you promised."
Feeling bad, I put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I had to."
She glared at me between her fingers. "You had to?"
Sighing, I removed my hand from her body. "Kellan found the bag of tests..." Remembering his face when he'd broken up with me, I frowned. "He thought I was pregnant..."
Anna immediately stopped her pissy attitude, her hands covering her mouth as she gasped. "Oh God, Kiera...I'm sorry. I didn't think...I'm so sorry." I smiled feebly at her and she touched my shoulder, her face now only showing concern. "Are you guys okay? Are you still...together?" she whispered.
Thinking of his grin when he'd said goodbye, I nodded. "Yeah, we...talked it out." Talked, accused, cried, yelled...made love.
Exhaling in relief, she smiled. "Oh good, I'd hate to think that I..." Her face hardened back up as she remembered her situation. "He won't say anything to Griffin, right? You told him not to, right?"
I tilted my head, trying to remember if I'd ever told Kellan, specifically, to not say anything to the soon-to-be dad. "Um, well, things were a little intense and I don't think I actually..."
She shoved my shoulder back. "Kiera?"
Frowning at her shifting moods, I shook my head. "I told him you were considering adoption, so I'm sure he won't mention anything to Griffin until you've decided."
Her mouth dropped open and a hand subconsciously rested on her belly. "You told him I was thinking of giving her up? Why would you tell him?"
Interested by her reaction, I said, "He needed to know why I didn't tell him about the pregnancy right away." I shook my head. "There was too much tension between us and I couldn't lie. I'm sorry, I had to tell him the truth."
She nodded, then sat in a folding chair by the table. Tears immediately started filling her eyes. "So now Kellan thinks I'm awful, huh? Giving up my baby..."
She swallowed, choking back a sob and I squatted in front of her. Holding her hands, I shook my head. "No, no of course not. Kellan...understands." I wasn't sure if Kellan did or not, but I couldn't say anything else to Anna, she was on the verge of losing it.
She nodded a few times as tears started trickling from her eyes. Then her mood shifted another way. It happened so fast, I nearly got whiplash. Standing up, her face was instantly fiery. "You need to call Kellan, and make him keep his mouth shut!"
Her fast movement had made me lose balance and from my new seat on the floor, I glanced up at her. "What?"
Rummaging through my bag, Anna found my phone and flung it at me. "Call him! Do whatever you have to do!" She indicated my body with her finger. "Do that heavy breathing and moaning thing that I hear through the walls all the time-whatever you have to do!" She pointed at me, adding, "But make sure he keeps his big mouth shut!"
My mouth dropped wide open. Oh my God! Had she heard the phone sex? Jesus, I'll be so happy when I was out of here. I flicked open the phone and dialed Kellan's number. It rang a few times, then, "Hey, this is Kellan. I'm probably onstage or making out with my girl. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you... if I feel like it."
I smiled at the message that I begged him repeatedly to change. "Hey, Kellan, it's me. Um, Anna's flipping out about you telling Griffin..." Anna glared at me and I sputtered out, "Just call me back, okay?"
Shutting the phone, I shook my head. "He's traveling back to the band. He's probably in the air, or just about to land somewhere."
She sighed grumpily and I stood up, wondering if I should try and comfort her or run away from her. Figuring her mood couldn't possibly swing much farther today, I thought I'd take a chance and tell her the good news. Grabbing my bag, since I did need to head out to school, I started backing away from her.
"I'll try him later today, alright?" Anna nodded, her arms re-crossing over her chest. Knowing it was now or never, I quickly added, "I should probably tell you, so you have lots of time to make arrangements, but...I'm moving back in with Kellan."
I waited just long enough to see her mouth drop open, then I yanked on the door and quickly made my escape. I thought I heard cursing as I fled down the hall.
Kellan called me back just as I shut off his car in the school parking lot. Watching my schoolmates shuffle about, on their way to this class or that class, I couldn't help but wonder if their lives were as dramatic as mine tended to be.
A light splattering of April rain hit my windshield, making circular shapes that coalesced into long streams. Flowers were in bloom along the berms that I could see from the solitude of my car, petals open in welcome to the moisture. When I'd first come here, I'd hated the drizzle, preferring warmth and dryness, but I had so many nice memories that were wrapped in rain, that I'd come to embrace it, just as much as the locals.
The cell phone propped against my ear filled with Kellan's warm laugh. His sound, combined with the light ting of drops hitting the roof, brought an image of Kellan into my mind-wet, hair slicked around his eyes, drops trailing across his lips...
"Hey, I just landed. Miss me already?"
My image of him insanely erotic, I laughed, huskily. "Always."
"You said your sister was freaking out?"
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, she's just afraid of Griffin finding out...before she's ready to tell him."
Kellan sighed as well. "I wouldn't...that's not my secret to share."
I smiled, his comment meaning that he also understood why I hadn't told him. "Well, I think she will tell him, and I think she's going to keep it...or her, I should say, since Anna is convinced she's having a girl."
Kellan chuckled. "Let's hope so. I think a baby girl to dote on is just what Griffin needs."
"Would you want a baby girl one day?" I asked, then blushed. I hadn't meant to ask him about kids yet. One step at a time, Kiera.
He was quiet a moment, then, "Yeah...a girl, or a boy, would be fine, but...yeah, I do want kids."
I giggled, softly. "Me too," I whispered. A comfortable silence passed between us, and knowing I had to go to class, I sighed. "I should go...are we good?"
Kellan gave me a soft laugh. "I didn't convince you of that before I left? Really? You...sounded convinced." I felt the heat burn my cheeks as echoes of my...conviction...echoed through my head. Before I could answer, Kellan said, "Yeah, Kiera...I think we're better than we've ever been, actually."
