Face-Off at the Altar
Page 109
“Her reasoning?” he asked, and she let her hands drop. “Her reasoning for trying to rape me? There is reasoning for that?”
“No…yes…ugh, I don’t know. I just feel like that was a cry for help, and all I did was get mad and run. I didn’t listen, I didn’t try to help, I just ran. And because of that, my sister is dead.”
“This isn’t your fault, Mekena. This is hers. She’s the one who did this.”
“But I could have stopped her. If I wasn’t so in love with you and so caught up in the fact that both of you broke my heart, maybe I would have seen it. I could have helped!”
“So you blame me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You did in so many words.”
“Don’t put words in my fucking mouth!”
He looked away, and she closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant to say that. Hadn’t meant to sound so bitchy, but the words were out there, and she had hurt him. Damn it.
Shaking his head, he tried to reach out to her, but she moved away. “Mekena, why can’t I touch you? What did I do?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t want to be fucking touched. I want to be alone.”
“I can’t do that,” he said. And in the bright moonlight, she could see that he looked as if she had slapped him. “I want to be here for you.”
“Don’t be! Go somewhere else. I don’t want you here.”
Looking down, he chewed on his lip as he shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then I’ll fucking leave,” she yelled, kicking the blankets off her. “I need to clear my head, I need to fucking breathe, and I can’t with you here.”
Before she could get anywhere, though, he stopped her, bringing her back down onto the bed before towering over her. “No, stay. I’ll go. I won’t be able to think straight if I know you’re out there, just wandering. If you need to be alone, fine, I’ll go. But please don’t leave.”
Rolling her eyes, she glared up at him. “You’re not my dad, Markus. You’re my boyfriend. I don’t need you telling me what to do.”
“I’m not telling you what to do. I’m asking you to save us both the heartache in the end and just chill out here. You need your space? Fine. I’m good with that. I’ll give it to you.”
As he stood up, she looked down at her feet while her tears rained onto her legs. He moved around, grabbing a pair of shorts and then a shirt before he came back to the bed. She allowed him to touch her cheek before he kissed the top of her head. “I’m here for you, Mekena.”
“I know.”
“Okay,” he said, walking out of the room. When she heard the door shut, she fell back on the bed, a sob leaving her lips.
What the fuck was she doing?
She was pushing him away, just as Skylar pushed everyone else away.
And if she didn’t get it together, she was going to end up like Skylar.
Alone and dead.
Running his hands down his face, Markus went out into their living room and looked out the windows that showed the Nashville skyline sparkling in the night sky. He wasn’t sure what had just happened in that bedroom, but one thing was certain—his heart sure took a beating. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the window and let out a heavy sigh. He hated hearing her so broken, so upset. But what broke him the most was the fact that she wouldn’t take the help he so desperately wanted to give her.
He wanted to make it better.
He wanted to help her.
But she was pushing him away, and he didn’t understand that.
They said they were in this together, so why was she trying to do this alone? Yeah, he didn’t understand what she was going through, nor did he truly need to. But at least she could use him. Lean on him, let him be her rock. Instead, she wallowed in her guilt. And the thing was, it wasn’t even her fucking fault. God, he hated Skylar. He forgave her, that wasn’t the problem, but he hated the pain and loss she had inflicted on the people who loved her. He was sure Linda and Stan were doing the same thing Mekena was doing, blaming themselves, when this was all Skylar’s doing.
He didn’t understand how Mekena could try to blame him or try to give reason to her sister’s actions. Yeah, they were in love. Yeah, they were totally obsessed with each other. But that was how it was when you first dated someone. You wanted to know everything. You wanted to feel their touch, their kiss. They’d been guilty of it, but it wasn’t their fault Skylar was a jealous bitch and wanted her sister to herself. That was the root of it, and it angered Markus that the love of his life was in their bedroom, crying over some selfish bitch who didn’t have anyone’s best interest at heart but her own.
It just wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.
But what killed him the most was that he felt like she regretted their relationship.
That was what had him on the brink of tears, holding on to the wall as he tried to figure out his next move. Should he go back in there, make her see reason, fight for them? Or should he give her the space and let her decide what she wanted, praying to God it was him. He didn’t want to do life without her. He had tried that. It didn’t work. He wanted her. All of her. But he wouldn’t force her to love him. He always suspected she was too young to love only him in her lifetime, but were those his insecurities getting to him? Were her words really fucking with him that badly?
Covering his face, he let out a groan, unsure what to do. He could hear her crying, sobbing, and it was killing him. When Mr. Right wove in and out of his legs, meowing loudly, he looked down, knowing his buddy was worried about Mekena too. Bending down, he picked up the cat and cuddled him into his chest. As much as she said she wanted him to leave, he couldn’t will his feet to do so. Plus, where would he go? It was well past four in the morning, and he wouldn’t wake his best friends. No, he had to fix this.
He had to fix her.
But how?
Kissing the top of Mr. Right’s head, he put him down and he scurried away. He was worried not only for Mekena but Mr. Right too. Since Skylar died, he hadn’t been eating, and Markus knew it was because the cat was feeding off Mekena’s grief. It was good for his weight, but Markus was sure it wasn’t good for the furry guy’s overall health. Falling down onto the couch, he looked out into the darkness of Nashville and sighed. He felt lost. He felt like he couldn’t do anything right, and he didn’t like that feeling. Her cries were smothering him. He almost left. He almost got up and let her be, but something told him he couldn’t. Was it the promise he had made to Skylar?
“No…yes…ugh, I don’t know. I just feel like that was a cry for help, and all I did was get mad and run. I didn’t listen, I didn’t try to help, I just ran. And because of that, my sister is dead.”
“This isn’t your fault, Mekena. This is hers. She’s the one who did this.”
“But I could have stopped her. If I wasn’t so in love with you and so caught up in the fact that both of you broke my heart, maybe I would have seen it. I could have helped!”
“So you blame me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You did in so many words.”
“Don’t put words in my fucking mouth!”
He looked away, and she closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant to say that. Hadn’t meant to sound so bitchy, but the words were out there, and she had hurt him. Damn it.
Shaking his head, he tried to reach out to her, but she moved away. “Mekena, why can’t I touch you? What did I do?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t want to be fucking touched. I want to be alone.”
“I can’t do that,” he said. And in the bright moonlight, she could see that he looked as if she had slapped him. “I want to be here for you.”
“Don’t be! Go somewhere else. I don’t want you here.”
Looking down, he chewed on his lip as he shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then I’ll fucking leave,” she yelled, kicking the blankets off her. “I need to clear my head, I need to fucking breathe, and I can’t with you here.”
Before she could get anywhere, though, he stopped her, bringing her back down onto the bed before towering over her. “No, stay. I’ll go. I won’t be able to think straight if I know you’re out there, just wandering. If you need to be alone, fine, I’ll go. But please don’t leave.”
Rolling her eyes, she glared up at him. “You’re not my dad, Markus. You’re my boyfriend. I don’t need you telling me what to do.”
“I’m not telling you what to do. I’m asking you to save us both the heartache in the end and just chill out here. You need your space? Fine. I’m good with that. I’ll give it to you.”
As he stood up, she looked down at her feet while her tears rained onto her legs. He moved around, grabbing a pair of shorts and then a shirt before he came back to the bed. She allowed him to touch her cheek before he kissed the top of her head. “I’m here for you, Mekena.”
“I know.”
“Okay,” he said, walking out of the room. When she heard the door shut, she fell back on the bed, a sob leaving her lips.
What the fuck was she doing?
She was pushing him away, just as Skylar pushed everyone else away.
And if she didn’t get it together, she was going to end up like Skylar.
Alone and dead.
Running his hands down his face, Markus went out into their living room and looked out the windows that showed the Nashville skyline sparkling in the night sky. He wasn’t sure what had just happened in that bedroom, but one thing was certain—his heart sure took a beating. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the window and let out a heavy sigh. He hated hearing her so broken, so upset. But what broke him the most was the fact that she wouldn’t take the help he so desperately wanted to give her.
He wanted to make it better.
He wanted to help her.
But she was pushing him away, and he didn’t understand that.
They said they were in this together, so why was she trying to do this alone? Yeah, he didn’t understand what she was going through, nor did he truly need to. But at least she could use him. Lean on him, let him be her rock. Instead, she wallowed in her guilt. And the thing was, it wasn’t even her fucking fault. God, he hated Skylar. He forgave her, that wasn’t the problem, but he hated the pain and loss she had inflicted on the people who loved her. He was sure Linda and Stan were doing the same thing Mekena was doing, blaming themselves, when this was all Skylar’s doing.
He didn’t understand how Mekena could try to blame him or try to give reason to her sister’s actions. Yeah, they were in love. Yeah, they were totally obsessed with each other. But that was how it was when you first dated someone. You wanted to know everything. You wanted to feel their touch, their kiss. They’d been guilty of it, but it wasn’t their fault Skylar was a jealous bitch and wanted her sister to herself. That was the root of it, and it angered Markus that the love of his life was in their bedroom, crying over some selfish bitch who didn’t have anyone’s best interest at heart but her own.
It just wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.
But what killed him the most was that he felt like she regretted their relationship.
That was what had him on the brink of tears, holding on to the wall as he tried to figure out his next move. Should he go back in there, make her see reason, fight for them? Or should he give her the space and let her decide what she wanted, praying to God it was him. He didn’t want to do life without her. He had tried that. It didn’t work. He wanted her. All of her. But he wouldn’t force her to love him. He always suspected she was too young to love only him in her lifetime, but were those his insecurities getting to him? Were her words really fucking with him that badly?
Covering his face, he let out a groan, unsure what to do. He could hear her crying, sobbing, and it was killing him. When Mr. Right wove in and out of his legs, meowing loudly, he looked down, knowing his buddy was worried about Mekena too. Bending down, he picked up the cat and cuddled him into his chest. As much as she said she wanted him to leave, he couldn’t will his feet to do so. Plus, where would he go? It was well past four in the morning, and he wouldn’t wake his best friends. No, he had to fix this.
He had to fix her.
But how?
Kissing the top of Mr. Right’s head, he put him down and he scurried away. He was worried not only for Mekena but Mr. Right too. Since Skylar died, he hadn’t been eating, and Markus knew it was because the cat was feeding off Mekena’s grief. It was good for his weight, but Markus was sure it wasn’t good for the furry guy’s overall health. Falling down onto the couch, he looked out into the darkness of Nashville and sighed. He felt lost. He felt like he couldn’t do anything right, and he didn’t like that feeling. Her cries were smothering him. He almost left. He almost got up and let her be, but something told him he couldn’t. Was it the promise he had made to Skylar?
