Face-Off at the Altar
Page 33
Shit. He’d said way more than he wanted.
Baylor’s brows came together, her eyes narrowing as she watched the side of his face. He wished he hadn’t said that. He had never said that before, so why did he say it now? “What do you mean, you can’t remember what you did?”
He cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders. “You know, ’cause I was drunk,” he tried, but even he didn’t believe the words.
Stepping in front of him, she focused her eyes on him as she shook her head. “No, you always remember what goes down when you’re drunk. You’re the one who can fully recap every single thing we all do, so that’s bullshit. What do you mean, Markus?”
Looking away, he swallowed hard and didn’t know what to say. She was right; he wasn’t one of those blackout drunk kind of people. He got blasted but could remember everything. So when he woke up that morning with Skylar beside him and he put two and two together, it was easy to say he was freaked out. He still didn’t know what had happened, still didn’t understand. Well, he understood, but it wasn’t him. He wouldn’t have done that. But the only other option—the one he was pretty sure was true—wasn’t something he could own up to. Wasn’t something he could accept. He was a man. There was no way. So obviously, he had done it. He clearly hadn’t cared about his relationship with Mekena. He wanted to cheat. Maybe it was all done subconsciously.
At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.
“Markus, I see the struggle in your eyes. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“I fucked up.”
“Did you?” she asked, and he opened his eyes, meeting her inquisitive gaze. “’Cause I’m sorry, but this all sounds a little fishy to me. I know you, I know your heart, who you are. And all of it just seems so wrong.”
“It’s ’cause you hate Skylar.”
“Damn right, I do, she’s a cunt. But it’s more than that. You said you don’t remember. What do you mean?”
Could he admit the truth? Could he tell Baylor? Before he even knew what he was doing, his mouth was moving and words were coming out. “I don’t know, Baylor. I mean, I remember her showing up to the party. Mekena had some test or something and went home early, which was cool. I hadn’t planned on hanging out all night anyway, especially since Jace was staying with Avery that night. So I was just chillin’, and Skylar came up. She was macking hard, which wasn’t unusual, she’d always had a thing for me. But I didn’t want it because everyone had already been through her,” he said, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “So I tried to get out of it, saying I thought it was shitty that she was macking on me when I was with Mekena. And she’s like, ‘Come on, are you even with her?’ And I’m like, ‘Duh, yeah.’ And she rolled her eyes and said, ‘Fine. You won’t turn down a drink with me, will you?’ No shit, Bay, that’s the last thing I remember.”
Baylor’s eyes widened. “She drugged you?”
“I don’t know. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning, there was a condom on me, and she was naked beside me. Then I fucking saw Mekena outside, and it went to shit after that. But that following day, we had—” He paused, his heart jumping up into his throat. He had only told Jace what he was about to say, and he hadn’t thought he would ever tell anyone else, but when he opened his eyes, meeting Baylor’s concerned ones, he knew he had to. “We had a surprise piss test because rumors were going around about drugs on the team. And mine came up hot for a high dose of Xanax.”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know. But luckily, I was able to pass the next one, which was a couple days later, and every one after that. Thank God your dad was my coach ’cause with anyone else, I would have been fucked. I wasn’t though ’cause of Coach. He said it probably got mixed in my drink at a party and no big deal, since that was a popular thing people were doing to get high. I don’t know. He’s probably right and that’s why I don’t remember anything, but I just don’t know.”
Baylor could only blink. “Or that whore drugged you and raped you!”
“Baylor, be real,” he said, sweat suddenly dripping down his back. “I’m a dude. Dudes don’t get raped.”
“Yes, they do,” she yelled back, her eyes wild. “It happens, and it sounds like she did it to you.”
His heart was jackhammering in his chest, so hard and so loud. When he looked down, he was completely surprised to find Dawson fast asleep. Meanwhile, he felt like he was on the verge of having an anxiety attack. He could really use a dose of Xanax right now.
“No, that didn’t happen.”
“Markus,” she pleaded, reaching out for him. “I understand that you are upset, that this all seems like it couldn’t happen to you, but it can. I know this firsthand.”
Swallowing hard, he nodded. Baylor had almost been raped back at Bellevue. Thankfully, Jayden had walked in and stopped it, but her incident was nothing like Markus’s. Because Markus wasn’t raped. That was preposterous. He was a guy; guys didn’t get raped. He didn’t care what she said. “I wasn’t raped. I just don’t remember it.”
Holding his gaze, she nodded. “Okay, let’s stop using that word for a moment. Either way, she went after you when you were not in the right state of mind because of the drugs she gave you—”
“You don’t know that,” he tried, but she waved him off.
“Anyway, did you say no or yes?”
“I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice sounding broken.
Just like his heart.
“And let’s just throw this the other way—the roles are reversed, and I’m telling you all this. What would you say?”
She held his gaze, and he knew he couldn’t look away. He knew the truth. He knew she was right, but he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I would say, give me his name so I can go kill him.”
“Exactly.” She reached out and took his hands in hers. “She better hope I never see her again.”
Markus smiled, shaking his head. “You’re a mommy. Mommies don’t fight.”
“This mommy does, especially for people she loves.”
Baylor’s brows came together, her eyes narrowing as she watched the side of his face. He wished he hadn’t said that. He had never said that before, so why did he say it now? “What do you mean, you can’t remember what you did?”
He cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulders. “You know, ’cause I was drunk,” he tried, but even he didn’t believe the words.
Stepping in front of him, she focused her eyes on him as she shook her head. “No, you always remember what goes down when you’re drunk. You’re the one who can fully recap every single thing we all do, so that’s bullshit. What do you mean, Markus?”
Looking away, he swallowed hard and didn’t know what to say. She was right; he wasn’t one of those blackout drunk kind of people. He got blasted but could remember everything. So when he woke up that morning with Skylar beside him and he put two and two together, it was easy to say he was freaked out. He still didn’t know what had happened, still didn’t understand. Well, he understood, but it wasn’t him. He wouldn’t have done that. But the only other option—the one he was pretty sure was true—wasn’t something he could own up to. Wasn’t something he could accept. He was a man. There was no way. So obviously, he had done it. He clearly hadn’t cared about his relationship with Mekena. He wanted to cheat. Maybe it was all done subconsciously.
At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.
“Markus, I see the struggle in your eyes. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“I fucked up.”
“Did you?” she asked, and he opened his eyes, meeting her inquisitive gaze. “’Cause I’m sorry, but this all sounds a little fishy to me. I know you, I know your heart, who you are. And all of it just seems so wrong.”
“It’s ’cause you hate Skylar.”
“Damn right, I do, she’s a cunt. But it’s more than that. You said you don’t remember. What do you mean?”
Could he admit the truth? Could he tell Baylor? Before he even knew what he was doing, his mouth was moving and words were coming out. “I don’t know, Baylor. I mean, I remember her showing up to the party. Mekena had some test or something and went home early, which was cool. I hadn’t planned on hanging out all night anyway, especially since Jace was staying with Avery that night. So I was just chillin’, and Skylar came up. She was macking hard, which wasn’t unusual, she’d always had a thing for me. But I didn’t want it because everyone had already been through her,” he said, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “So I tried to get out of it, saying I thought it was shitty that she was macking on me when I was with Mekena. And she’s like, ‘Come on, are you even with her?’ And I’m like, ‘Duh, yeah.’ And she rolled her eyes and said, ‘Fine. You won’t turn down a drink with me, will you?’ No shit, Bay, that’s the last thing I remember.”
Baylor’s eyes widened. “She drugged you?”
“I don’t know. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning, there was a condom on me, and she was naked beside me. Then I fucking saw Mekena outside, and it went to shit after that. But that following day, we had—” He paused, his heart jumping up into his throat. He had only told Jace what he was about to say, and he hadn’t thought he would ever tell anyone else, but when he opened his eyes, meeting Baylor’s concerned ones, he knew he had to. “We had a surprise piss test because rumors were going around about drugs on the team. And mine came up hot for a high dose of Xanax.”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know. But luckily, I was able to pass the next one, which was a couple days later, and every one after that. Thank God your dad was my coach ’cause with anyone else, I would have been fucked. I wasn’t though ’cause of Coach. He said it probably got mixed in my drink at a party and no big deal, since that was a popular thing people were doing to get high. I don’t know. He’s probably right and that’s why I don’t remember anything, but I just don’t know.”
Baylor could only blink. “Or that whore drugged you and raped you!”
“Baylor, be real,” he said, sweat suddenly dripping down his back. “I’m a dude. Dudes don’t get raped.”
“Yes, they do,” she yelled back, her eyes wild. “It happens, and it sounds like she did it to you.”
His heart was jackhammering in his chest, so hard and so loud. When he looked down, he was completely surprised to find Dawson fast asleep. Meanwhile, he felt like he was on the verge of having an anxiety attack. He could really use a dose of Xanax right now.
“No, that didn’t happen.”
“Markus,” she pleaded, reaching out for him. “I understand that you are upset, that this all seems like it couldn’t happen to you, but it can. I know this firsthand.”
Swallowing hard, he nodded. Baylor had almost been raped back at Bellevue. Thankfully, Jayden had walked in and stopped it, but her incident was nothing like Markus’s. Because Markus wasn’t raped. That was preposterous. He was a guy; guys didn’t get raped. He didn’t care what she said. “I wasn’t raped. I just don’t remember it.”
Holding his gaze, she nodded. “Okay, let’s stop using that word for a moment. Either way, she went after you when you were not in the right state of mind because of the drugs she gave you—”
“You don’t know that,” he tried, but she waved him off.
“Anyway, did you say no or yes?”
“I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice sounding broken.
Just like his heart.
“And let’s just throw this the other way—the roles are reversed, and I’m telling you all this. What would you say?”
She held his gaze, and he knew he couldn’t look away. He knew the truth. He knew she was right, but he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I would say, give me his name so I can go kill him.”
“Exactly.” She reached out and took his hands in hers. “She better hope I never see her again.”
Markus smiled, shaking his head. “You’re a mommy. Mommies don’t fight.”
“This mommy does, especially for people she loves.”
