Feeling Hot
Page 80
“Because I was embarrassed,” her brother muttered. He stepped on the gas and steered through the intersection. “Because I didn’t want you to know how bad things with Holly and me had gotten.”
Jen’s heart clenched. “She’ll come home, Carson. She’s just feeling overwhelmed right now and I’m not sure I blame her. You can’t come back after six months and start making demands on her. You need to take time and try to reconnect with your wife.”
“I know that. Now, anyway,” he amended. “Before, I…well, I guess I thought that Hol and me were so rock solid that we didn’t need to work on our relationship. I figured everything would fix itself.”
“Kind of hard to fix anything when you don’t bother listening to what your wife is trying to tell you,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, I figured that out too.” Smiling, he tilted his head. “When did you get so wise about love and relationships?”
“It just comes naturally, I guess.” A spark of determination lit her belly. “And you know what? I’m going to do more than dispense wisdom. I’m going to help you get your wife back.”
“And how will you do that? I’ve been trying for months. Holly doesn’t believe me when I tell her how much I love her.”
“That’s your problem, you’re telling, not showing.” Jen rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, big brother, I know exactly what to do. First thing, you need to—”
“I’ve been a really crappy brother, haven’t I?”
She blinked at the interjection. “Where did that come from?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Not entirely true. You have your ass**le moments, but you’ve always been my biggest protector.”
“Yes, but I also don’t take you seriously.” Shamefaced, he shifted his gaze to her before moving it back to the road. “It’s because you’re the baby of the family, you know? You’re my little sister, and when I look at you, I see the pesky brat who used to eavesdrop on my phone calls and hide under my bed when I had girls over.”
“That was a long time ago,” she said with a laugh.
“Exactly. But I didn’t get the memo. You grew up and became a strong, intelligent woman capable of making her own decisions, but I haven’t even noticed because I’m too busy viewing you as a kid. And now you’re sitting here and giving me advice after I interfered in your life and annoyed the shit outta you for the last month. You’re too damn nice, you know that?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
They neared Cash’s building, and Carson turned into the small parking lot. Pulling up right next to the stairwell door, he put the car in park and turned to her with a grave look. “So…uh…about Cash.”
Annoyance rippled through her. “You’re not going to lecture me for getting involved with him, are you? Because we just established that I’m a strong, intelligent woman capable of making my own decisions.”
“No lecture. And like I said, Cash and I straightened it out. What I wanted to ask was…uh…okay, f**k, I’m just gonna come out with it—are you planning on dumping him?”
Jen’s mouth fell open. “Why would you think that?”
“Because of the whole military thing.” Carson absently ran his hands over the steering wheel, his expression growing soft. “I think you were about twelve the first time you told me you hated Dad.”
“I never hated Dad,” she protested. “You know I wasn’t serious.”
“No, but you were serious when you said he felt like a stranger to you.” He shrugged. “No judgment. The admiral felt like a stranger to me too when I was growing up. Anyway, that time when you were twelve, I came home from college for the holidays, and Dad had shipped out that year, remember?”
“I remember,” she said flatly.
“Mom was depressed. I remember she spent Christmas Eve crying in her bedroom. And you and me were downstairs, pigging out on those cookies Grandma brought over, and you turned to me and said that you never, ever wanted to have the kind of marriage Mom and Dad had. I’m pretty sure you gave an hour-long speech about how your husband would be home every day, and especially on Christmas Eve.”
“I hated seeing Mom so sad,” she murmured.
“Me too, but I think it affected you more than it did me, huh?” He reached across the seat and ruffled her hair. “I get why you don’t want the military life. It’s tough, really f**king tough—I mean, look at me and Holly and the rough patch we’re going through.” He hesitated. “Cash loves you, you know.”
Her throat tightened.
“And I think he’s good for you,” Carson went on. “I was too caught up in big-brother mode to see it—mainly because the thought of any dude touching you makes me furious. But now that I’ve calmed down, I can see how well you and McCoy fit. He’s intense, you’re, uh, kind of flighty and weird—”
“Gee, thanks.”
“He’s not big on talking, you’re a blabbermouth. You kinda suit each other.” Carson’s voice softened. “I think you should give him a chance. Keep an open mind to the whole military thing, because you know what? You’ve found a man who loves you, a man who’ll face his superior officer’s wrath to be with you, and you’re honestly going to throw that away?”
Jen’s heart clenched. “She’ll come home, Carson. She’s just feeling overwhelmed right now and I’m not sure I blame her. You can’t come back after six months and start making demands on her. You need to take time and try to reconnect with your wife.”
“I know that. Now, anyway,” he amended. “Before, I…well, I guess I thought that Hol and me were so rock solid that we didn’t need to work on our relationship. I figured everything would fix itself.”
“Kind of hard to fix anything when you don’t bother listening to what your wife is trying to tell you,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, I figured that out too.” Smiling, he tilted his head. “When did you get so wise about love and relationships?”
“It just comes naturally, I guess.” A spark of determination lit her belly. “And you know what? I’m going to do more than dispense wisdom. I’m going to help you get your wife back.”
“And how will you do that? I’ve been trying for months. Holly doesn’t believe me when I tell her how much I love her.”
“That’s your problem, you’re telling, not showing.” Jen rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, big brother, I know exactly what to do. First thing, you need to—”
“I’ve been a really crappy brother, haven’t I?”
She blinked at the interjection. “Where did that come from?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Not entirely true. You have your ass**le moments, but you’ve always been my biggest protector.”
“Yes, but I also don’t take you seriously.” Shamefaced, he shifted his gaze to her before moving it back to the road. “It’s because you’re the baby of the family, you know? You’re my little sister, and when I look at you, I see the pesky brat who used to eavesdrop on my phone calls and hide under my bed when I had girls over.”
“That was a long time ago,” she said with a laugh.
“Exactly. But I didn’t get the memo. You grew up and became a strong, intelligent woman capable of making her own decisions, but I haven’t even noticed because I’m too busy viewing you as a kid. And now you’re sitting here and giving me advice after I interfered in your life and annoyed the shit outta you for the last month. You’re too damn nice, you know that?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
They neared Cash’s building, and Carson turned into the small parking lot. Pulling up right next to the stairwell door, he put the car in park and turned to her with a grave look. “So…uh…about Cash.”
Annoyance rippled through her. “You’re not going to lecture me for getting involved with him, are you? Because we just established that I’m a strong, intelligent woman capable of making my own decisions.”
“No lecture. And like I said, Cash and I straightened it out. What I wanted to ask was…uh…okay, f**k, I’m just gonna come out with it—are you planning on dumping him?”
Jen’s mouth fell open. “Why would you think that?”
“Because of the whole military thing.” Carson absently ran his hands over the steering wheel, his expression growing soft. “I think you were about twelve the first time you told me you hated Dad.”
“I never hated Dad,” she protested. “You know I wasn’t serious.”
“No, but you were serious when you said he felt like a stranger to you.” He shrugged. “No judgment. The admiral felt like a stranger to me too when I was growing up. Anyway, that time when you were twelve, I came home from college for the holidays, and Dad had shipped out that year, remember?”
“I remember,” she said flatly.
“Mom was depressed. I remember she spent Christmas Eve crying in her bedroom. And you and me were downstairs, pigging out on those cookies Grandma brought over, and you turned to me and said that you never, ever wanted to have the kind of marriage Mom and Dad had. I’m pretty sure you gave an hour-long speech about how your husband would be home every day, and especially on Christmas Eve.”
“I hated seeing Mom so sad,” she murmured.
“Me too, but I think it affected you more than it did me, huh?” He reached across the seat and ruffled her hair. “I get why you don’t want the military life. It’s tough, really f**king tough—I mean, look at me and Holly and the rough patch we’re going through.” He hesitated. “Cash loves you, you know.”
Her throat tightened.
“And I think he’s good for you,” Carson went on. “I was too caught up in big-brother mode to see it—mainly because the thought of any dude touching you makes me furious. But now that I’ve calmed down, I can see how well you and McCoy fit. He’s intense, you’re, uh, kind of flighty and weird—”
“Gee, thanks.”
“He’s not big on talking, you’re a blabbermouth. You kinda suit each other.” Carson’s voice softened. “I think you should give him a chance. Keep an open mind to the whole military thing, because you know what? You’ve found a man who loves you, a man who’ll face his superior officer’s wrath to be with you, and you’re honestly going to throw that away?”
