Feeling Hot
Page 81
A ring of pleasure circled her heart. Her brother was right. Cash really had gone above and beyond in proving that he’d be there for her, and although he hadn’t said those three little words out loud, Jen knew he cared about her. She knew he wanted more from their relationship.
“Don’t worry, I’m not throwing anything away,” she told her brother.
“Good,” he said as he clicked a button to unlock the doors. “Come on, I’ll walk you up.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Carson flung open his door. “Jen, haven’t you learned by now that you can’t argue with me when I’m in my brotherly protective mode?”
Her jaw dropped. “Did you just call me Jen?”
“That’s your name, isn’t it?”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
Jen was lying on the couch when Cash strode into the apartment. Instantly, his spirits soared, and his heart beat a little faster when she greeted him with a big, beautiful smile.
Shit, he was a total goner for this woman.
“So what can I expect?” he asked as he kicked off his boots and approached the couch. “A striptease, or holding your hair while you barf?”
“Huh?”
Chuckling, he sat at the other end of the couch and lifted her socked feet into his lap. “According to the grapevine, those are the two outcomes of girls’ night. You ladies either get drunk enough to strip or puke.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but you’re getting neither. I only had one drink.”
Jen slid closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. Smiling, Cash slung an arm around her shoulder and nuzzled her neck, and it felt so natural and so right that his chest grew hot and tight.
“By the way, I’m sorry for springing Carson on you like that,” he told her. “He insisted on picking you up and ordered me not to call you and warn you.”
“Don’t worry, it’s fine.”
“Did you two talk?”
She nodded. “We worked everything out. And he told me about the woman we saw him with, the therapist.”
Cash shot her a smug smile. “Told you there was an explanation.”
“Fine. You were right. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yep.”
“Well, I’m glad you were right.” She exhaled softly. “God, I just want Carson and Holly to be happy.”
“Me too. And I also want…” He trailed off, his confidence wavering.
Just do it already. Tell her you love her.
“Cash? You okay?”
Her worried expression made him smile. “I’m fine,” he said gruffly. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Cash—”
“No, just listen for a minute.” He shifted so they were facing each other. “I know we agreed that the fling would have an end date, but…I don’t want it to end.”
Surprise washed over her face. Surprise, not horror or regret, which was always a good sign, and the receptive look in her eyes spurred him to go on.
“I know how you feel about the military life, but I don’t think you want this to end either.” He reached for her hand, a little embarrassed to discover his fingers were trembling. “We’re good together, sweetheart, and it’s not just the sex. I’ve never been able to talk to a woman the way I can talk to you. I love talking to you, actually. I love your sense of humor, I love how big your heart is, I love everything about you.” He let out a curse. “Ah, f**k, I’m just going to say it, okay? I love you.”
She stared at him with wide eyes.
“I love you, Jen,” he repeated. “This isn’t a fling for me anymore. It’s so much more.”
As his speech came to a close, Cash studied her beautiful face and waited for a response. A word. A smile. A squeeze of the hand. Anything would have sufficed, but the longer her silence dragged on, the unhappier he grew.
He’d only ever said those three words to one other female. Brooke Pollack, the girl he’d dated in high school. And unlike Jen, Brooke had actually returned the sentiment.
A knot of pain twisted his insides. Christ, he was such a fool. He’d really believed they could have more than a fling, but clearly he’d been wrong. Jen wasn’t even looking at him, and she kept gnawing on her bottom lip the way she always did when she was upset.
“I get it,” he muttered, dropping her hand. “That’s not what you wanted to hear.” He started to get up. “I’m sorry if—”
“I love you too.”
He froze, and then his butt landed back on the couch cushions and his gaze flew to her face. “You do?”
Her blue eyes glimmered with certainty. “I love you, and I want to be with you too. I don’t care if it’s full-time or part-time or even if I only see you one day every other month—I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
Cash gawked at her. Probably not the most macho reaction, or the appropriate one, but now it was his turn to sit in stunned silence. He hadn’t been entirely sure what to expect from this heart-to-heart. Rejection had topped the expectation list. Maybe some resistance.
But a straight-up I love you too? Nope, hadn’t seen that coming.
Why the hell are you sitting here analyzing when you should be kissing the girl?
Good f**king point.
Snapping out of his stupefied state, he thrust a hand in Jen’s silky blonde hair and yanked her mouth to his, swallowing her startled squeak with his kiss. Long, deep, passionate. The kiss dampened his palms and quickened his pulse, and when their mouths broke free, the look of joy on Jen’s face nearly had him doing a happy little fist pump.
“Don’t worry, I’m not throwing anything away,” she told her brother.
“Good,” he said as he clicked a button to unlock the doors. “Come on, I’ll walk you up.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Carson flung open his door. “Jen, haven’t you learned by now that you can’t argue with me when I’m in my brotherly protective mode?”
Her jaw dropped. “Did you just call me Jen?”
“That’s your name, isn’t it?”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
Jen was lying on the couch when Cash strode into the apartment. Instantly, his spirits soared, and his heart beat a little faster when she greeted him with a big, beautiful smile.
Shit, he was a total goner for this woman.
“So what can I expect?” he asked as he kicked off his boots and approached the couch. “A striptease, or holding your hair while you barf?”
“Huh?”
Chuckling, he sat at the other end of the couch and lifted her socked feet into his lap. “According to the grapevine, those are the two outcomes of girls’ night. You ladies either get drunk enough to strip or puke.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but you’re getting neither. I only had one drink.”
Jen slid closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. Smiling, Cash slung an arm around her shoulder and nuzzled her neck, and it felt so natural and so right that his chest grew hot and tight.
“By the way, I’m sorry for springing Carson on you like that,” he told her. “He insisted on picking you up and ordered me not to call you and warn you.”
“Don’t worry, it’s fine.”
“Did you two talk?”
She nodded. “We worked everything out. And he told me about the woman we saw him with, the therapist.”
Cash shot her a smug smile. “Told you there was an explanation.”
“Fine. You were right. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yep.”
“Well, I’m glad you were right.” She exhaled softly. “God, I just want Carson and Holly to be happy.”
“Me too. And I also want…” He trailed off, his confidence wavering.
Just do it already. Tell her you love her.
“Cash? You okay?”
Her worried expression made him smile. “I’m fine,” he said gruffly. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Cash—”
“No, just listen for a minute.” He shifted so they were facing each other. “I know we agreed that the fling would have an end date, but…I don’t want it to end.”
Surprise washed over her face. Surprise, not horror or regret, which was always a good sign, and the receptive look in her eyes spurred him to go on.
“I know how you feel about the military life, but I don’t think you want this to end either.” He reached for her hand, a little embarrassed to discover his fingers were trembling. “We’re good together, sweetheart, and it’s not just the sex. I’ve never been able to talk to a woman the way I can talk to you. I love talking to you, actually. I love your sense of humor, I love how big your heart is, I love everything about you.” He let out a curse. “Ah, f**k, I’m just going to say it, okay? I love you.”
She stared at him with wide eyes.
“I love you, Jen,” he repeated. “This isn’t a fling for me anymore. It’s so much more.”
As his speech came to a close, Cash studied her beautiful face and waited for a response. A word. A smile. A squeeze of the hand. Anything would have sufficed, but the longer her silence dragged on, the unhappier he grew.
He’d only ever said those three words to one other female. Brooke Pollack, the girl he’d dated in high school. And unlike Jen, Brooke had actually returned the sentiment.
A knot of pain twisted his insides. Christ, he was such a fool. He’d really believed they could have more than a fling, but clearly he’d been wrong. Jen wasn’t even looking at him, and she kept gnawing on her bottom lip the way she always did when she was upset.
“I get it,” he muttered, dropping her hand. “That’s not what you wanted to hear.” He started to get up. “I’m sorry if—”
“I love you too.”
He froze, and then his butt landed back on the couch cushions and his gaze flew to her face. “You do?”
Her blue eyes glimmered with certainty. “I love you, and I want to be with you too. I don’t care if it’s full-time or part-time or even if I only see you one day every other month—I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
Cash gawked at her. Probably not the most macho reaction, or the appropriate one, but now it was his turn to sit in stunned silence. He hadn’t been entirely sure what to expect from this heart-to-heart. Rejection had topped the expectation list. Maybe some resistance.
But a straight-up I love you too? Nope, hadn’t seen that coming.
Why the hell are you sitting here analyzing when you should be kissing the girl?
Good f**king point.
Snapping out of his stupefied state, he thrust a hand in Jen’s silky blonde hair and yanked her mouth to his, swallowing her startled squeak with his kiss. Long, deep, passionate. The kiss dampened his palms and quickened his pulse, and when their mouths broke free, the look of joy on Jen’s face nearly had him doing a happy little fist pump.
