Finding Faith

Page 36

He stood and came to me. I loved it when he played with my hair so I was happy when he buried his fingers in the strands around my face. His smile darkened as his eyes dipped down and over my body.
“I’ve only ever seen you in long skirts. Your legs are so long and beautiful—sexy.”
My face lit up with heat as I looked down at myself. I’d forgotten what I was wearing. My white cami and plaid boxers left little to the imagination. I felt even more embarrassed knowing that I had no bra or panties on underneath. I’d never been so naked around another person in my life.
“I should change,” I said as I started to step away.
He caught me around the waist and I felt the heat of his fingers through the thin cotton covering my stomach.
“Don’t. I like seeing you like this. Not because you’re showing more skin, but because you look comfortable. You’re so beautiful and you’re clueless to it.”
I didn’t fight him when he slowly walked me back to my bed and pulled me onto his lap.
“What have we gotten ourselves into, huh?” He smiled and shook his head.
I ran my finger across his dimples and leaned in to kiss him. It was nice being able to do that. I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who would just out of nowhere kiss a guy, but I was comfortable with Finn.
He kissed me back like he was breathing me in, and when he ran his palm across my stomach, I didn’t stop him. He’d told me before that he wouldn’t rush me—that he’d wait for me, and I trusted that.
I tilted my head to the side and breathed deep to keep myself from making embarrassing noises when his lips moved from my mouth and to my neck. I’d never felt something so wonderful. He was teaching me new ways to live, and I was sucking up his lessons like they were my survival.
I could remember the many lectures I’d gotten over the years about being easily led by lust and sexual desires. I’d readily accepted that what my dad said was correct without knowing or understanding anything that had to do with the words lust and sex. But Finn was showing me how right my dad had been. Lust and desire could make you do some crazy things. So when Finn very slowly laid me back onto my bed, I didn’t stop him.
I didn’t care about anything else but his lips and hands—the feel of his breath on my skin and the deep noises he made, which made the hairs on my arms stand on end. I heard myself actually whine when he pulled away and smiled down at me.
“Time to slow down, pretty girl,” he whispered.
I could feel his restraint in my own bones. Stopping or slowing down wasn’t something that was easy for him, and it made me feel good that he respected me enough to make himself uncomfortable. He brought me up with him and planted a tiny kiss on the corner of my mouth.
As much as I feared getting caught with him in my room, I didn’t want him to leave. Spending the night with him the night before had been so nice. Falling asleep in his arms had been one of the best feelings, and I wanted to feel that way again.
He stood and adjusted his shirt. I got a glimpse of his belly button and the hair that disappeared into his jeans. My eyes moved lower on their own, allowing me to see his long legs. He really was such a nice-looking guy. When I looked back up, he was smiling.
“Stop looking down there like that. You’re not making this easy for me.” He bent down and gave me a small kiss on the lips. “I better go. Have fun at school tomorrow.”
Before he could turn away, I reached out and grabbed his hand. I didn’t want him to go. I felt amazing when he was around. I could forget about how sad my life was when he was there making everything better.
“Stay.”
The minute the word left my mouth, I kind of regretted it. I didn’t want him thinking I was making any promises that something would happen. I just wanted to fall asleep in his arms the way I had the night before.
He didn’t say anything. Instead, he kicked off his shoes, pulled back the cover on my bed, and climbed under it, pulling it back up around us.
We spent the next few hours quietly talking. He told me about his life, the band, and how he’d come to live with his mom. I held him close as he told me about what growing up in different foster homes had been like. He was such an emotional guy, which probably had a lot to do with why he was so guarded around everyone.
Once I was done telling him the sad little tale of my boring life, I lay there while he played with my hair and sang some songs. I’d never heard the songs before so I assumed they were the band’s music. His soft melodic voice relaxed me to the point that I could no longer tell if I was asleep or awake. At some point, I felt his lips against my forehead and I heard him whisper goodnight.