Finding Perfect

Page 12

Montana didn’t look very excited. “It’s a big deal, right? I’ve been working there nearly two years part-time. They’re giving me a nice raise and I’ll have benefits.”
“But?”
Montana sucked in a breath. “I just don’t want to.” She held up a hand. “I know, I know. What am I thinking? This is a great opportunity. They’d want me to go back and get my master’s in library science, and they’d even help pay. I love living in Fool’s Gold. Now I’d have job security.”
“But?” Pia asked again.
“It’s not what I want to do,” Montana admitted in a small voice. “I don’t love working at the library. I mean, I like it. Books are great, and I like helping people and I enjoy working with the kids. But full-time? Every day for eight hours?”
She leaned her arms on the desk and slumped in her seat. “Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why can’t I know what I want to do with my life?”
“I thought you liked the library. You were really excited to help set up Liz’s book signing last summer.”
“That was fun. I just…” She motioned to Pia’s office. “You knew what you wanted to do.”
“No.” Pia remembered trying to pick a major in college. “I didn’t have a clue. I went with business because it seemed to give me a lot of options. I started in this job as an assistant, then I found out I liked it. I was lucky. This wasn’t a plan.”
“I need to get lucky,” Montana muttered, then grinned. “I was going to say ‘not in a boy-girl way,’ but that would be fun, too.” Her smile faded. “I feel so stupid.”
“Why? You’re not. You’re smart and funny.”
Montana lowered her voice. “I think I might be flaky.”
Pia did her best not to smile. “You’re anything but.”
“I can’t pick a career. I’m twenty-seven and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Shouldn’t I already be grown up? Isn’t the future now?”
“You sound like a poster. This isn’t about the future. This is about making yourself happy. There’s nothing wrong with trying different careers until you find one you like. You’re supporting yourself. It’s not like you’re living with your mom and watching TV all day. It’s okay to explore the possibilities.”
“Maybe,” Montana said. “I never meant not to know what I wanted to do.”
“Better to keep trying until you find something that makes you happy rather than choose something now and hate your job for the next twenty years.”
Montana smiled. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Fixing someone else’s life isn’t hard. The one I have trouble with is my own.”
Montana raised her eyebrows. “Does any of this trouble have to do with a certain tall, very muscled ex-football player?”
Pia warned herself not to blush. “No. Why do you ask?”
“You had lunch with him.”
“It was a business lunch.”
“It didn’t look like a business lunch,” Montana told her.
Small-town life, Pia reminded herself. “How do you know? Did you see it for yourself?”
“I got the play-by-play from three different people.” Montana leaned toward her. “One of them claimed there was a kiss, but I can’t get confirmation on that.”
Pia sighed. “I swear, we need more channels on cable around here. People are starved for entertainment.”
“So there’s nothing going on with you and Raoul?” Montana asked, looking disappointed.
Pia hesitated.
“There is!” her friend crowed.
“Don’t get too excited. It’s not what you think. It’s not romantic.” How could it be? Her soon-to-be pregnancy would scare off any sane man and most of the ones only flirting with sanity.
Pia drew in a breath. “Crystal left me her embryos.”
Montana’s eyes widened. “I thought you had her cat.”
“I did, until I found out about her will. Jo got the cat.”
“And you have her babies? That is amazing.” Montana blinked. “Oh my God! You have her babies. You have to decide what to do with them. Did she leave you any instructions?”
“Not specifically. I know that having them is sort of implied in the bequest. It’s not like she wants them frozen forever. She left money to help cover some of the medical expenses and to start a college fund.”
“You’re going to have them?”
Pia nodded slowly. Reality hadn’t completely sunk in, and she was okay with that. Accepting that kind of truth should take a little time.
Montana jumped up and ran around the table, then bent down and hugged Pia. “I can’t believe it. This is so amazing. You’re going to have Crystal’s babies.”
She dropped to a crouch and stared at her friend. “Are you terrified?”
“Mostly. There’s a lot of confusion and worry to go with it, as well. Why on earth did she pick me? There are a lot of other people here who have more ‘mom’ potential.”
Montana straightened and returned to her seat. “That’s not true. Of course you’re the one she wanted to have her babies.”
“You say that like this all makes sense.”
Montana looked confused. “How doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know anything about having a baby or raising one. Or possibly three. She didn’t talk to me ahead of time, warn me. I was supposed to get the cat. It turns out he never really liked me, so that’s probably for the best, but still…” Pia bit her lower lip. “Why did Crystal pick me?”
“Because she loved and trusted you. Because she knew you’d make the right decisions.”
“She can’t know that. I sure don’t know that. What if something bad happens? What if the embryos hate me as much as Jake did?”
“They’re not in a position to make a judgment call.”
“Okay, not now, but they will be. After they’re born.”
“Babies are hardwired to bond. That’s what they do. They’ll bond with you because you’re wonderful. But even if you weren’t, they’d still bond with you.”
“I’d feel better if they liked me for me and not just because of biology.”
“That’s going to happen, too,” Montana assured her. “You’ll be a great mom.”
“How do you know?” Pia asked, feeling both worried and desperate. “I don’t come from a happy gene pool. My boyfriends always leave. Even the cat didn’t want to live with me. What do I have to offer to a baby?”
“Your heart,” Montana said simply. “Pia, you’ll do everything in your power to take care of those kids. You’ll sacrifice and worry and be there when they need you. It’s who you are.”
“The whole single-mom thing scares me,” she admitted.
“You might be single, but you won’t be alone,” Montana reminded her. “This is Fool’s Gold. You’ll be taken care of by the town. You’ll have all the help and advice you need. Speaking of which, if I can do anything, please let me know.”
“I will.”
Pia knew that Montana was right about the town. If she needed help, she only had to ask. Then there was Raoul’s strange “pregnancy buddy” offer. She wasn’t sure exactly what he was putting on the table, but it was nice that he was willing to be there.
“I just wish Crystal had talked to me before she died. Explained what she wanted.”
“Would you have told her no?” Montana asked.
Pia considered the question. “I probably would have tried to talk her out of it, but in the end, if this was what she really wanted, I would have agreed. But at least I would have had the chance to find out why.”
“You really can’t figure that out? You’re genuinely confused as to why Crystal left you her embryos?”
“Yes. Aren’t you?”
Montana smiled at her. “No. Not in the least. I guess that’s what you’re going to have to come to terms with. And when you do, you’ll know why you were exactly the right person for her to pick.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
DR. CECILIA GALLOWAY WAS a tall, large-boned, no-nonsense kind of person who had gone to medical school back when women were expected to be homemakers or secretaries. She believed an informed patient was a happy patient, and that until a man experienced mood swings and menstrual cramps, he was in no position to say whether or not they were in a patient’s head.
A mother of one of Pia’s friends had gently suggested Pia consider visiting a gynecologist before starting college. Pia hadn’t imagined ever having sex, but she’d taken the advice and gone in for her first pelvic exam.
Dr. Galloway had made the experience more interesting than scary, explaining the details of Pia’s reproductive system in language the teen could understand. She’d also offered blunt advice about fumbling boys and their lack of expertise. She’d told Pia how to find her clitoris and G-spot and suggested she tell the boy in question to spend some quality time with both before having his way with her.
Now, a decade later, Pia sat in Dr. Galloway’s office. She had a meager list of questions, which had made her realize she didn’t know enough to know what to ask. Rather than hit the Internet and get a lot of half-truths, she’d come to the source of all knowledge.
At a few minutes after ten, Dr. Galloway walked into her office. She wore a white coat over casual knits. Her steel-gray hair was cut short. She didn’t bother with makeup, but her steady blue eyes were warm behind her sensible glasses.
“Pia,” the doctor said with a smile as she crossed the spacious room and settled next to Pia, rather than sitting across from her on the other side of the big wood desk. “I was a little surprised when I saw you were coming in today.”
When Pia had made the appointment, she’d said she needed to talk to the doctor before being examined and had explained why.
Now, Dr. Galloway put down the folder she held and studied her. “You’re young and healthy. Are you sure about this? It’s an extreme measure at this time in your life. Wouldn’t you rather wait and be in a relationship? Or even if you don’t want to be involved with the father, we can look at artificial insemination rather than IVF.”
It took Pia a second to realize the problem. “I’m not trying to get pregnant,” she said with a shake of her head. “Okay, I am trying to get pregnant, but it’s not what you think.”
Dr. Galloway leaned back in her chair. “What shouldn’t I think?”
“Crystal Westland left me her embryos.”
The older woman’s expression softened. “Did she? I wondered what Crystal would do. Poor child, to have suffered so much. It’s a loss for all of us.” She drew in a breath. “So you want to have Crystal’s babies, do you?”
Want was kind of a strong word, Pia thought. She’d accepted the shift in her life path and was dealing. Maybe want would come later.
“I’m going to have them,” Pia said firmly, holding in the need to wince at the words. “What’s the next step?”
Dr. Galloway considered her for a moment. “We do an examination to make sure you’re healthy. Draw a little blood, that sort of thing.”
She got up and walked around to the other side of her desk. After sitting, she pulled out a pad of paper and started making notes. “How many embryos are there?”
“Three.”
“You’ll have them all implanted at once?”
“I don’t know. Should I?”
“It’s probably for the best.” The doctor raised her head. “The process is very simple. The embryos thaw naturally until they come to room temperature. They’re put through several solutions to wash away any lingering cryoprotectant that was used during the freezing. Then they’re warmed to body temperature and implanted. I can do that. It’s a simple procedure, relatively painless.”
She pulled several brochures out of a drawer. “Then you lie on the examination table for a few minutes, giving the embryos time to settle. Two weeks later, we test you to see if you’re pregnant.”
That didn’t sound so bad, Pia thought. “Will I have to take any drugs? The guy at the lab talked about preparing my body.”
“It depends. We’ll monitor your cycle with a series of ultrasounds. When you’re ready, in they go.” Dr. Galloway leaned toward her. “It is possible not all the embryos will have survived the freezing process.”
Pia hadn’t realized that. “We’ll know when they’re thawed?”
“Yes, they’re checked before they’re implanted.”
The doctor passed her several brochures. “You can read these over. They give more details about what will happen. Implantation is safe and quick. There’s no reason to think this will be anything but a normal pregnancy.”
Pia opened her mouth, then closed it. She glanced down at her hands, then back at the doctor. “What if I did something bad?”
Dr. Galloway shook her head. “There is nothing immoral in having Crystal’s children, Pia. It is an act of love.”
“I don’t mean that. I mean…” She swallowed. “When I was in college, I had a boyfriend. I got pregnant.”
“You had an abortion.” Dr. Galloway sighed. “It happens all the time and has no impact on—”