Finding Us
Page 38
Knox positions himself at my entrance and slowly starts to push in. I squeeze my eyes shut from the slight tightness as he fills me.
“Fuck Jas,” Knox grits out. “You’re so f**king tight.” He breathes deeply and begins to rock into me.
We are flesh to flesh, both moaning our desires as we learn what each other likes. Knox intimately roams a hand over my breast and pinches my nipple.
“Ahh…Knox.” I pant as he does it again.
Knox pulls out slowly and then rams back into me hard, making me I scream out in pleasure. He does this a few more times before pulling out of me and flipping me over. He grabs my h*ps and pulls them towards him and seats himself inside me again. Knox is pounding into me and I’m so close to coming that my vision blurs.
“Knox, I’m…ahh…I’m about to come.” I groan.
He reaches forward and cups both of my br**sts in his hands and pulls me so that my back is flush against his chest. His h*ps still thrust as a hand roams down and he massages my clit. I try to bend over, the sensation is too much.
Knox’s thrusts start to slow down. “Come baby.”
He pinches my cl*t and I shatter into a million pieces. The last thing I hear is Knox yelling out my name as he finds his own release.
Knox slowly pulls out and I immediately miss him being inside me. He hops off the bed and discards the condom before crawling back in bed and snuggling up against my back.
This perfect handsome man brushes my hair away from my face and kisses my cheek. “Let’s get some sleep, baby.”
I close my eyes and burrow into his body as close as I can get before the darkness washes over me.
When I wake up sometime in the middle of the night I know Knox is gone before I even open my eyes. I reach out over to his side of the bed and it’s cool to the touch. I listen to hear if there are any sounds from inside the apartment. Nothing, it’s completely silent.
I climb out of the bed and go to my dresser to slip a t-shirt on and pad my way to the bathroom. When I’m finished I walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and see that there is a note on the counter.
Jas,
Sorry I split without saying goodbye but you looked too peaceful to wake up. I’ll call you later.
Knox
I have an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach, I’m not sure what it is but whatever it is isn’t good. Tonight should have ended just as perfectly as it started but something isn’t right.
It’s been a month since I’ve seen or heard from Knox. He fell off the face of the Earth.
My heart is breaking. Who am I kidding? It is broken. The past few weeks Knox and I were really connecting and I thought by us making love it was going to finally seal the deal for us. I guess I was wrong. I’ve called his phone and I texted him but with no response. He hasn’t run with me since coming home from South Carolina. I don’t see him at the coffee shop or out on his balcony either.
Summer and Rex keep telling me to give him time. That he’s afraid and he’ll come around. Well guess what? I’m afraid too but I didn’t go running like a scared little kid.
I’m over being hurt; now I’m just pissed off. If he was having problems figuring this relationship out, he should have come and talked to me about it instead of freezing me out. I thought I meant more to him than that, apparently not.
Making love with Jasmine was nothing that I was prepared for. I’ve slept with other girls since her but nothing compares to Jasmine. She blew my f**king mind. It was perfect until she fell asleep in my arms and I knew that this should have never happened without me telling her the truth first.
She is going to f**king hate me for what I know and for not telling her that I’ve known about her for years. I was being a selfish ass**le and I deserve every shitty thing that comes my way.
Now I just need to figure out a way to tell her without losing her. I can’t lose her. I won’t lose her.
Rex calls me the morning after I left Jasmine asleep in her bed without saying goodbye.
“Did you tell her yet?”
“Good morning to you too, ass**le,” I sit back in my office chair and kick my legs up on my desk. “I haven’t told her yet Rex.”
“God damn it Knox. Just f**king tell her already. The longer you wait to harder it’s going to be for the both of you.” Rex snaps.
“Yeah, I know Rex.”
“Then f**king do it.” Then he hangs up the phone on me.
Rex and I have never fought the way we have been recently. I don’t want to tell Jasmine because I’m afraid of how she will react. I should have done it a while ago, when I knew I couldn’t hurt her anymore. Now that we’ve slept together this confession is probably going to rip us apart.
19
Summer just got home from Rex’s apartment and she’s taking a shower. She’s declared tonight girl’s night and I wasn’t getting out of it. I’ve blown her and Rex off since Knox up and left me. I haven’t been in the mood to do much of anything except go to work and teach my dance class. Even our little threesome visits to the clubs on the weekend have stopped too.
Henry buzzes up that our pizza is here. I knock on the bathroom door, “Pizza is here and I’m going down to get it.”
“Alright!” Summer yells back.
I ride the elevator down and pay for the pizza. I turn around to head back upstairs and I catch a glimpse of Knox walking out of the coffee shop and out the front doors of the building, nodding his head in Henry’s direction.
I wait a few seconds to make sure Knox is out of eye sight when I walk over to Henry. I place the pizza box on his desk and sigh loudly. He looks up at me and smiles, “How are you this evening Ms. Jennings?”
I roll my eyes, “I’ve told you to call me Jasmine, Henry.”
Henry takes his glasses off and rubs the bridge of his nose, he looks tired. “Sorry, Ms. Jasmine.”
I tap my finger nails which are in need of a manicure on his desk. “So I saw Knox leaving, I don’t suppose you can tell me what he was doing here can you?”
Henry gets a goofy smile on his face before he shakes his head. “Now you know I can’t tell you that.”
I bat my eye lashes, “I’ll bake you some cupcakes for tomorrow.”
Henry gets a dreamy look on his face, “Ms. Jasmine, you’re gonna have me breaking the rules.”
“But you’re gonna tell me anyway right?”
Henry eyes me for a full minute before answering me, “I’m not, but I’ll give you a clue.”
“Fuck Jas,” Knox grits out. “You’re so f**king tight.” He breathes deeply and begins to rock into me.
We are flesh to flesh, both moaning our desires as we learn what each other likes. Knox intimately roams a hand over my breast and pinches my nipple.
“Ahh…Knox.” I pant as he does it again.
Knox pulls out slowly and then rams back into me hard, making me I scream out in pleasure. He does this a few more times before pulling out of me and flipping me over. He grabs my h*ps and pulls them towards him and seats himself inside me again. Knox is pounding into me and I’m so close to coming that my vision blurs.
“Knox, I’m…ahh…I’m about to come.” I groan.
He reaches forward and cups both of my br**sts in his hands and pulls me so that my back is flush against his chest. His h*ps still thrust as a hand roams down and he massages my clit. I try to bend over, the sensation is too much.
Knox’s thrusts start to slow down. “Come baby.”
He pinches my cl*t and I shatter into a million pieces. The last thing I hear is Knox yelling out my name as he finds his own release.
Knox slowly pulls out and I immediately miss him being inside me. He hops off the bed and discards the condom before crawling back in bed and snuggling up against my back.
This perfect handsome man brushes my hair away from my face and kisses my cheek. “Let’s get some sleep, baby.”
I close my eyes and burrow into his body as close as I can get before the darkness washes over me.
When I wake up sometime in the middle of the night I know Knox is gone before I even open my eyes. I reach out over to his side of the bed and it’s cool to the touch. I listen to hear if there are any sounds from inside the apartment. Nothing, it’s completely silent.
I climb out of the bed and go to my dresser to slip a t-shirt on and pad my way to the bathroom. When I’m finished I walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and see that there is a note on the counter.
Jas,
Sorry I split without saying goodbye but you looked too peaceful to wake up. I’ll call you later.
Knox
I have an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach, I’m not sure what it is but whatever it is isn’t good. Tonight should have ended just as perfectly as it started but something isn’t right.
It’s been a month since I’ve seen or heard from Knox. He fell off the face of the Earth.
My heart is breaking. Who am I kidding? It is broken. The past few weeks Knox and I were really connecting and I thought by us making love it was going to finally seal the deal for us. I guess I was wrong. I’ve called his phone and I texted him but with no response. He hasn’t run with me since coming home from South Carolina. I don’t see him at the coffee shop or out on his balcony either.
Summer and Rex keep telling me to give him time. That he’s afraid and he’ll come around. Well guess what? I’m afraid too but I didn’t go running like a scared little kid.
I’m over being hurt; now I’m just pissed off. If he was having problems figuring this relationship out, he should have come and talked to me about it instead of freezing me out. I thought I meant more to him than that, apparently not.
Making love with Jasmine was nothing that I was prepared for. I’ve slept with other girls since her but nothing compares to Jasmine. She blew my f**king mind. It was perfect until she fell asleep in my arms and I knew that this should have never happened without me telling her the truth first.
She is going to f**king hate me for what I know and for not telling her that I’ve known about her for years. I was being a selfish ass**le and I deserve every shitty thing that comes my way.
Now I just need to figure out a way to tell her without losing her. I can’t lose her. I won’t lose her.
Rex calls me the morning after I left Jasmine asleep in her bed without saying goodbye.
“Did you tell her yet?”
“Good morning to you too, ass**le,” I sit back in my office chair and kick my legs up on my desk. “I haven’t told her yet Rex.”
“God damn it Knox. Just f**king tell her already. The longer you wait to harder it’s going to be for the both of you.” Rex snaps.
“Yeah, I know Rex.”
“Then f**king do it.” Then he hangs up the phone on me.
Rex and I have never fought the way we have been recently. I don’t want to tell Jasmine because I’m afraid of how she will react. I should have done it a while ago, when I knew I couldn’t hurt her anymore. Now that we’ve slept together this confession is probably going to rip us apart.
19
Summer just got home from Rex’s apartment and she’s taking a shower. She’s declared tonight girl’s night and I wasn’t getting out of it. I’ve blown her and Rex off since Knox up and left me. I haven’t been in the mood to do much of anything except go to work and teach my dance class. Even our little threesome visits to the clubs on the weekend have stopped too.
Henry buzzes up that our pizza is here. I knock on the bathroom door, “Pizza is here and I’m going down to get it.”
“Alright!” Summer yells back.
I ride the elevator down and pay for the pizza. I turn around to head back upstairs and I catch a glimpse of Knox walking out of the coffee shop and out the front doors of the building, nodding his head in Henry’s direction.
I wait a few seconds to make sure Knox is out of eye sight when I walk over to Henry. I place the pizza box on his desk and sigh loudly. He looks up at me and smiles, “How are you this evening Ms. Jennings?”
I roll my eyes, “I’ve told you to call me Jasmine, Henry.”
Henry takes his glasses off and rubs the bridge of his nose, he looks tired. “Sorry, Ms. Jasmine.”
I tap my finger nails which are in need of a manicure on his desk. “So I saw Knox leaving, I don’t suppose you can tell me what he was doing here can you?”
Henry gets a goofy smile on his face before he shakes his head. “Now you know I can’t tell you that.”
I bat my eye lashes, “I’ll bake you some cupcakes for tomorrow.”
Henry gets a dreamy look on his face, “Ms. Jasmine, you’re gonna have me breaking the rules.”
“But you’re gonna tell me anyway right?”
Henry eyes me for a full minute before answering me, “I’m not, but I’ll give you a clue.”
