Finding Us
Page 42
“Those aren’t big enough.”
Marie sighs, “I know sweetie, I know.”
I pour her a shot and pushed it towards her. I picked up the bottle and took a few more gulps.
Marie apparently wasn’t done destroying my life. “Vivian was barren and only Michael knew that after years of trying to get pregnant themselves.” Marie lets out a pathetic laugh, “Michael told Vivian about the affair and convinced her that this was an answer to their prayers. Michael helped Vivian stage her pregnancy. Vivian never left the house after fifteen weeks. She shut everyone out claiming she was having a very high risk pregnancy. After I gave birth at the house Vivian and Michael started letting their family and friends back into their lives and Vivian took on being your mother.”
Marie pours herself another shot, “I was devastated, depressed and all alone. Many nights I thought about taking you and just running away but I knew Michael would stop at nothing to find us and I would lose you forever. Eventually I pulled myself out of my depression when I realized that Vivian was starting to drink heavily. I found her passed out more times than I could remember while you were in your crib screaming and crying.” Marie takes her shot and grimaces. “After a while things fell into place. Michael and Vivian for the most part ignored you, which I thanked the lord for every day. When you started getting older they involved you in some way in their events. They were showing a strong family front when it was anything but. As years passed and you turned into a beautiful young lady, Michael and Vivian started dictating your life, telling you what you could and couldn’t do. I hated every second of that but my hands were tied. I know you wanted to go to Julliard but they refused to even hear of it. I knew why Michael refused; he wanted you to take over his company one day. It was so hard for me to not see your dreams come true. When you went away to college it was extremely hard on me; I knew it was good for you but our time together came to an end.”
The vodka is doing a good job at numbing the pain. I’m hurt, pissed off, and disgusted. My father, no not my father, a father would never come up with a scam like this. He would do what was right; he would never deny his daughter from knowing her mother. I know Marie but only the basics. I’m so confused about how I feel. The need to go for a run is becoming stronger and stronger by the second.
Marie stood up and walked over to the sliding glass doors off the kitchen. “After you graduated from college and never came home I was really worried. I begged Michael to tell me where you were or how to get in touch with you but he just kept telling me that he had no idea. I thought he was trying to keep you away from me. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and reached out to Summer’s parents. It took some convincing for them to tell me any information but Summer’s mom spilled that you and Summer were perfectly fine and living in New York City. I was so proud of you for turning your back on your demanding father and making a life for yourself. I knew that you had your trust fund from Michael’s father so I knew you would be able to make it on your own for a while.”
I did have his money and I’m thankful for that. There was no other way that I could have made it without it.
Speaking for the first time, “Marie, I’m going to go lie down for a few minutes.” I go up to my old bedroom, hoping it’s still the way I left. I open the first door on the right side, I don’t bother turning the light switch on. There is plenty of light coming in from the windows. My room is the exact way I left it, boy band posters still taped to the walls. I lie down on top of my bed and let all of the shit that she just threw at me sink in.
I have at least one decent parent now. Marie was always there for me no matter what. Michael and Vivian are scum to me now and I’ll never have to deal with them in my life again after today.
I’m not sure how I feel about Marie being my mother. I understand why she did what she did but how come once I left she didn’t come looking for me if she knew where I was?
I’ve been up here for probably close to an hour when Marie comes knocking on the door, “Come in.”
Marie steps into my room, “Are you ok?”
I throw a hand over my eyes, “I’m still processing everything.”
The bed dips as Marie sits down. “I’m so sorry Jasmine, but it was time you knew the truth.”
“I know, I understand.”
Marie reaches over and rubs my arm, “Do you have any questions?”
I sit up and lean back against the headboard. “You said you have a sister which means I actually have an aunt, uncle and cousin. I’d like to meet them one day. Would that be ok?”
Marie starts to cry all over again. Her eyes are so red and bloodshot. I haven’t cried yet but I know I will tonight.
“I’d love for you to meet them. My sister and her husband moved out to California a few years ago.” Marie takes a deep breath. “Your cousin Savanna passed away in an accident about five years ago. Remember that one time I took that week off and you begged me not to leave you?”
I nod, remembering that Marie never took time off work which explains why now.
“Oh God,” Marie looked away from me, “Your cousin was driving with her boyfriend’s parents to South Carolina. She was a couple of months pregnant and her boyfriend was going to propose to her that weekend. They never made it. They were hit from behind by a drunk driver going eighty miles an hour. Jasmine, that drunk driver was Vivian, and sweetheart,” Marie sniffles, “Savanna’s boyfriend’s name was Knox Mitchell.”
I jump up from the bed and run into the bathroom and throw up my breakfast. This can’t be happening to me. Once I’m sure everything is up I set back against the tub. Marie hands me a wash cloth and I take it to wipe my face.
“So Vivian killed Savanna?”
Marie slides down the wall and sits next to me on the floor. “Yup and she got away with it. Your father hired big time lawyers and somehow got it swept under the rug.”
“So she never paid for killing three people,” I flinch, “four people?”
Marie shakes her head.
“Do you think that there is a chance that Knox knows who I am?” My stomach rolls but I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down.
Marie nods her head, “I think there is a good chance.”
Fuck!
I climb to my feet and brush my teeth with a toothbrush from the drawer. When I’m done I walk into my old room and glance at the clock. Its late afternoon. “I don’t want to be here when they come home. Can we go to your house?”
Marie sighs, “I know sweetie, I know.”
I pour her a shot and pushed it towards her. I picked up the bottle and took a few more gulps.
Marie apparently wasn’t done destroying my life. “Vivian was barren and only Michael knew that after years of trying to get pregnant themselves.” Marie lets out a pathetic laugh, “Michael told Vivian about the affair and convinced her that this was an answer to their prayers. Michael helped Vivian stage her pregnancy. Vivian never left the house after fifteen weeks. She shut everyone out claiming she was having a very high risk pregnancy. After I gave birth at the house Vivian and Michael started letting their family and friends back into their lives and Vivian took on being your mother.”
Marie pours herself another shot, “I was devastated, depressed and all alone. Many nights I thought about taking you and just running away but I knew Michael would stop at nothing to find us and I would lose you forever. Eventually I pulled myself out of my depression when I realized that Vivian was starting to drink heavily. I found her passed out more times than I could remember while you were in your crib screaming and crying.” Marie takes her shot and grimaces. “After a while things fell into place. Michael and Vivian for the most part ignored you, which I thanked the lord for every day. When you started getting older they involved you in some way in their events. They were showing a strong family front when it was anything but. As years passed and you turned into a beautiful young lady, Michael and Vivian started dictating your life, telling you what you could and couldn’t do. I hated every second of that but my hands were tied. I know you wanted to go to Julliard but they refused to even hear of it. I knew why Michael refused; he wanted you to take over his company one day. It was so hard for me to not see your dreams come true. When you went away to college it was extremely hard on me; I knew it was good for you but our time together came to an end.”
The vodka is doing a good job at numbing the pain. I’m hurt, pissed off, and disgusted. My father, no not my father, a father would never come up with a scam like this. He would do what was right; he would never deny his daughter from knowing her mother. I know Marie but only the basics. I’m so confused about how I feel. The need to go for a run is becoming stronger and stronger by the second.
Marie stood up and walked over to the sliding glass doors off the kitchen. “After you graduated from college and never came home I was really worried. I begged Michael to tell me where you were or how to get in touch with you but he just kept telling me that he had no idea. I thought he was trying to keep you away from me. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and reached out to Summer’s parents. It took some convincing for them to tell me any information but Summer’s mom spilled that you and Summer were perfectly fine and living in New York City. I was so proud of you for turning your back on your demanding father and making a life for yourself. I knew that you had your trust fund from Michael’s father so I knew you would be able to make it on your own for a while.”
I did have his money and I’m thankful for that. There was no other way that I could have made it without it.
Speaking for the first time, “Marie, I’m going to go lie down for a few minutes.” I go up to my old bedroom, hoping it’s still the way I left. I open the first door on the right side, I don’t bother turning the light switch on. There is plenty of light coming in from the windows. My room is the exact way I left it, boy band posters still taped to the walls. I lie down on top of my bed and let all of the shit that she just threw at me sink in.
I have at least one decent parent now. Marie was always there for me no matter what. Michael and Vivian are scum to me now and I’ll never have to deal with them in my life again after today.
I’m not sure how I feel about Marie being my mother. I understand why she did what she did but how come once I left she didn’t come looking for me if she knew where I was?
I’ve been up here for probably close to an hour when Marie comes knocking on the door, “Come in.”
Marie steps into my room, “Are you ok?”
I throw a hand over my eyes, “I’m still processing everything.”
The bed dips as Marie sits down. “I’m so sorry Jasmine, but it was time you knew the truth.”
“I know, I understand.”
Marie reaches over and rubs my arm, “Do you have any questions?”
I sit up and lean back against the headboard. “You said you have a sister which means I actually have an aunt, uncle and cousin. I’d like to meet them one day. Would that be ok?”
Marie starts to cry all over again. Her eyes are so red and bloodshot. I haven’t cried yet but I know I will tonight.
“I’d love for you to meet them. My sister and her husband moved out to California a few years ago.” Marie takes a deep breath. “Your cousin Savanna passed away in an accident about five years ago. Remember that one time I took that week off and you begged me not to leave you?”
I nod, remembering that Marie never took time off work which explains why now.
“Oh God,” Marie looked away from me, “Your cousin was driving with her boyfriend’s parents to South Carolina. She was a couple of months pregnant and her boyfriend was going to propose to her that weekend. They never made it. They were hit from behind by a drunk driver going eighty miles an hour. Jasmine, that drunk driver was Vivian, and sweetheart,” Marie sniffles, “Savanna’s boyfriend’s name was Knox Mitchell.”
I jump up from the bed and run into the bathroom and throw up my breakfast. This can’t be happening to me. Once I’m sure everything is up I set back against the tub. Marie hands me a wash cloth and I take it to wipe my face.
“So Vivian killed Savanna?”
Marie slides down the wall and sits next to me on the floor. “Yup and she got away with it. Your father hired big time lawyers and somehow got it swept under the rug.”
“So she never paid for killing three people,” I flinch, “four people?”
Marie shakes her head.
“Do you think that there is a chance that Knox knows who I am?” My stomach rolls but I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down.
Marie nods her head, “I think there is a good chance.”
Fuck!
I climb to my feet and brush my teeth with a toothbrush from the drawer. When I’m done I walk into my old room and glance at the clock. Its late afternoon. “I don’t want to be here when they come home. Can we go to your house?”
