Flawed Love
Page 21
“She must have been special to get a place over your heart.”
He smiles and his finger goes to the tattoo, stroking over it. “Yeah,” he says, his eyes a little distant. “She sure was.”
“How come you stopped being friends?”
“I got into bad shit, things happened and . . .”
And. And. And. God, please answer the and!
“And?” I prompt.
“And I was no longer the same man. The past was best left where it was.”
God. I want to scream and protest, to tell him she would have done anything for him to come back, to know he was okay. She would have helped him. God. I would have laid down my life for him.
“I wouldn’t have thought that would matter to someone who was a friend,” I dare to say.
“No, it wouldn’t have mattered, but you know what would have hurt her? Is that I don’t remember a good deal. Everything is hazy. I can’t even recall her face—just a memory of someone I adored. I have vague memories of time I spent with her, but that whole part of my life is a hazy mess.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because it’s all I can manage.
But one thing is for sure—Rainer didn’t recognize my face because he doesn’t remember much about that time.
That gives me some hope.
Some.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THEN – MALI
This is lame.
He’s going to hate it.
Why am I doing this?
I stand on Rainer’s front lawn, thankful his father’s car isn’t in the drive because he’d probably come out and lose his shit at me for what I’m about to do. I have to do it, though. Rainer feels as if he’s losing his best friend, and that’s not cool with me. I want him to know he’ll never lose me. The girl I was last night . . . she isn’t who I want to be, and he was right. It might have felt nice at the time, but it’s not what I’m about.
This is what I’m about.
I reach up and press the play button on the massive boom box I’m holding on my shoulder, like from that movie, ‘Say Anything’. It took me all day to locate one, but it turned out Kenny’s dad had an old one in his garage, and he was cool to let me borrow it. Now I’m standing like a fool with it resting on my shoulder because there’s no way I can hold it in the air, and praying that Rainer is in his room.
The music flows out as soon as my finger hits the button and I quickly turn the volume up to Rainer’s favorite song, the one from the movie Top Gun—“Highway to the Danger Zone.” It comes pouring out of the speakers, a heavy, sexy beat that even has my skin prickling. Okay, it’s not romantic, but it’s him, and that’s the point.
The music pounds for what seems like hours, and my shoulder aches. I wonder if he’s not home. That would be completely shit, because my plan kind of requires him to be here. Just as I’m about to lose my nerve, his window slides up and I see his half-naked form peer out. It takes him a moment to realize it’s me and then his eyes widen.
“Emy, what the fuck?” he calls down.
“I won’t stop doing this until you forgive me for being a complete dick-face. I’m sorry, Rai Rai. I was acting like a tart monkey and you were right, it’s not me. So, I’m going to charm you until you forgive me.”
He stares at me, then a big smile spreads across his face and I realize I’ve won him over.
“Get up here, kid.”
Grinning big, I lower the boom box off my shoulder and run towards the front door, dropping it at my feet just outside. A moment later, Rainer swings it open and jerks me into his arms. My tiny body flies up and my feet dangle off the floor as he holds onto me. I finally manage to get my arms around his neck and I hang onto him, so grateful he’s in my life.
“I’m sorry I was a drama queen,” I murmur.
He lets me go and stares down at me. “Yeah, me too. I was a dick.”
“A dick with his heart in the right place.”
He grins and reaches down, lifting the boom box. “Where’d you get this baby?”
“Kenny’s dad. He has everything.”
“Sweet.”
He kicks the front door closed and I follow him up to his room. I open the door for him, step in and then close and lock it behind him. He puts the boom box down and we both flop down onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “So, did you kick Jack the sack to the curb?” he asks.
“Nah, but I haven’t called him back. I think he’s pissed at me.”
“Because of me?”
“Maybe. I guess our friendship is one of those things a lot of people just can’t understand.”
“Nah, you’re right about that.”
“Have you seen Missy?”
He nods. “Yeah. Told her if she ever does something like that again, I’ll cut her fake plastic tits out myself and shove them up her ass.”
“Rainer!” I laugh. “That’s so mean.”
“So is her having some giant butch beast punch my best girl in the stomach. That shit is weak, and cowardly, and I have no tolerance for it.”
“So are you still going to see her?”
“No, fuck that. Stupid bitch can’t suck cock to save her life anyway.”
“Rainer,” I scoff. “You’re being a bit nasty.”
“She deserves it.”
“What will you do now?” I ask, rolling towards him. “With no one to fuck?”
His eyes search my face and he shrugs. “I’ve got a hand.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Ugh, TMI.”
He grins. “Come on, I’m going bat-shit crazy in this house. Let’s go out.”
“Where do you want to go?” I ask, sitting up.
He sits up beside me. “I’ve got a spare bottle of alcohol, and the beach sounds pretty good. You in?”
I leap up. “You had me at alcohol.”
He grins.
Thank God. I have my friend back.
~*~*~*~
“Oh my God!” I snort-laugh, throwing a handful of sand at Rainer’s lap. “You’re such a noodle-head.”
He laughs deep. “Well you fuckin’ asked, kid.”
“I didn’t need a graphic description. I’ll never sleep again.”
He hands the half-empty bottle of whiskey to me, and I take another burning slurp before thrusting it back. We’re sitting on the beach in the dark, laughing and joking about Rainer and Missy’s former sex life. He’s telling me horror stories that make me never want to have sex. Like ever.
“I never said it was pretty. Her looks are only skin deep, believe me.”
“Ugh. Now you have me scared. I’ll probably be just the same when I finally get around to stripping down and spreading my legs.”
He nudges his shoulder into mine. “Don’t talk like that. You’re better than just spreading your legs.”
“I know, but there’s going to come a time when it’ll happen, Rai.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He grunts.
Something swells in my chest, and I’m scared to admit to myself that I like his concern for me. It’s a strange sensation, something I’ve never experienced before. I can’t quite figure out what it means, but every second I spend with Rainer, it seems to get stronger.
He smiles and his finger goes to the tattoo, stroking over it. “Yeah,” he says, his eyes a little distant. “She sure was.”
“How come you stopped being friends?”
“I got into bad shit, things happened and . . .”
And. And. And. God, please answer the and!
“And?” I prompt.
“And I was no longer the same man. The past was best left where it was.”
God. I want to scream and protest, to tell him she would have done anything for him to come back, to know he was okay. She would have helped him. God. I would have laid down my life for him.
“I wouldn’t have thought that would matter to someone who was a friend,” I dare to say.
“No, it wouldn’t have mattered, but you know what would have hurt her? Is that I don’t remember a good deal. Everything is hazy. I can’t even recall her face—just a memory of someone I adored. I have vague memories of time I spent with her, but that whole part of my life is a hazy mess.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because it’s all I can manage.
But one thing is for sure—Rainer didn’t recognize my face because he doesn’t remember much about that time.
That gives me some hope.
Some.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THEN – MALI
This is lame.
He’s going to hate it.
Why am I doing this?
I stand on Rainer’s front lawn, thankful his father’s car isn’t in the drive because he’d probably come out and lose his shit at me for what I’m about to do. I have to do it, though. Rainer feels as if he’s losing his best friend, and that’s not cool with me. I want him to know he’ll never lose me. The girl I was last night . . . she isn’t who I want to be, and he was right. It might have felt nice at the time, but it’s not what I’m about.
This is what I’m about.
I reach up and press the play button on the massive boom box I’m holding on my shoulder, like from that movie, ‘Say Anything’. It took me all day to locate one, but it turned out Kenny’s dad had an old one in his garage, and he was cool to let me borrow it. Now I’m standing like a fool with it resting on my shoulder because there’s no way I can hold it in the air, and praying that Rainer is in his room.
The music flows out as soon as my finger hits the button and I quickly turn the volume up to Rainer’s favorite song, the one from the movie Top Gun—“Highway to the Danger Zone.” It comes pouring out of the speakers, a heavy, sexy beat that even has my skin prickling. Okay, it’s not romantic, but it’s him, and that’s the point.
The music pounds for what seems like hours, and my shoulder aches. I wonder if he’s not home. That would be completely shit, because my plan kind of requires him to be here. Just as I’m about to lose my nerve, his window slides up and I see his half-naked form peer out. It takes him a moment to realize it’s me and then his eyes widen.
“Emy, what the fuck?” he calls down.
“I won’t stop doing this until you forgive me for being a complete dick-face. I’m sorry, Rai Rai. I was acting like a tart monkey and you were right, it’s not me. So, I’m going to charm you until you forgive me.”
He stares at me, then a big smile spreads across his face and I realize I’ve won him over.
“Get up here, kid.”
Grinning big, I lower the boom box off my shoulder and run towards the front door, dropping it at my feet just outside. A moment later, Rainer swings it open and jerks me into his arms. My tiny body flies up and my feet dangle off the floor as he holds onto me. I finally manage to get my arms around his neck and I hang onto him, so grateful he’s in my life.
“I’m sorry I was a drama queen,” I murmur.
He lets me go and stares down at me. “Yeah, me too. I was a dick.”
“A dick with his heart in the right place.”
He grins and reaches down, lifting the boom box. “Where’d you get this baby?”
“Kenny’s dad. He has everything.”
“Sweet.”
He kicks the front door closed and I follow him up to his room. I open the door for him, step in and then close and lock it behind him. He puts the boom box down and we both flop down onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “So, did you kick Jack the sack to the curb?” he asks.
“Nah, but I haven’t called him back. I think he’s pissed at me.”
“Because of me?”
“Maybe. I guess our friendship is one of those things a lot of people just can’t understand.”
“Nah, you’re right about that.”
“Have you seen Missy?”
He nods. “Yeah. Told her if she ever does something like that again, I’ll cut her fake plastic tits out myself and shove them up her ass.”
“Rainer!” I laugh. “That’s so mean.”
“So is her having some giant butch beast punch my best girl in the stomach. That shit is weak, and cowardly, and I have no tolerance for it.”
“So are you still going to see her?”
“No, fuck that. Stupid bitch can’t suck cock to save her life anyway.”
“Rainer,” I scoff. “You’re being a bit nasty.”
“She deserves it.”
“What will you do now?” I ask, rolling towards him. “With no one to fuck?”
His eyes search my face and he shrugs. “I’ve got a hand.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Ugh, TMI.”
He grins. “Come on, I’m going bat-shit crazy in this house. Let’s go out.”
“Where do you want to go?” I ask, sitting up.
He sits up beside me. “I’ve got a spare bottle of alcohol, and the beach sounds pretty good. You in?”
I leap up. “You had me at alcohol.”
He grins.
Thank God. I have my friend back.
~*~*~*~
“Oh my God!” I snort-laugh, throwing a handful of sand at Rainer’s lap. “You’re such a noodle-head.”
He laughs deep. “Well you fuckin’ asked, kid.”
“I didn’t need a graphic description. I’ll never sleep again.”
He hands the half-empty bottle of whiskey to me, and I take another burning slurp before thrusting it back. We’re sitting on the beach in the dark, laughing and joking about Rainer and Missy’s former sex life. He’s telling me horror stories that make me never want to have sex. Like ever.
“I never said it was pretty. Her looks are only skin deep, believe me.”
“Ugh. Now you have me scared. I’ll probably be just the same when I finally get around to stripping down and spreading my legs.”
He nudges his shoulder into mine. “Don’t talk like that. You’re better than just spreading your legs.”
“I know, but there’s going to come a time when it’ll happen, Rai.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He grunts.
Something swells in my chest, and I’m scared to admit to myself that I like his concern for me. It’s a strange sensation, something I’ve never experienced before. I can’t quite figure out what it means, but every second I spend with Rainer, it seems to get stronger.
