Flawed Love
Page 23
“Emalie, you need to tell him.”
I shift. “I . . . I just . . . he’s in love with another woman.”
Her eyes grow sad. “Oh no.”
“Yeah, and she’s taken. He looked at her . . . God . . . with such love. I’m terrified if I tell him who I am now, he’ll leave and . . .”
Mimi steps forward and places a hand on either side of my shoulders. “You won’t know unless you tell him.”
“I just can’t.”
“So what are you going to do? Keep pretending you’re some stranger? What if he starts to care about you, or falls for you, then what are you going to do?”
“That won’t happen.”
“He stayed the night,” she hisses.
“Yeah, that still doesn’t mean anything.”
“Mali, you have to stop this. You’re digging a bigger hole and soon you’ll sink in it. Tell him who you are.”
I should, God, I know I should but . . . I just . . . I can’t. I need to know what happened in his life; I need to figure it all out so I know the best way to approach that.
“I will, I swear. Just not right now. I need a few more weeks.”
“You’re playing with fire,” she warns.
“Yeah, I know that.”
She sighs and we both stand in silence a while. A knock sounds at the door, and I give her a curious look. “Who the hell would that be?”
She shrugs. “You get it, I have no pants on.”
I stare down and realize she doesn’t have pants on, just a pair of panties with a long man-sized shirt. A shirt I don’t recognize. I scrunch my face up and point to it. “We’re going to discuss where that shirt came from.”
She grins.
I turn and walk over to the door, opening it. Who I see is not who I expected to see, and my eyes grow wide with shock. Pippa is standing at the door, with a giant, hot biker behind her. My mouth drops open. I’m guessing the russet-haired man is Tyke, but damn, I never expected him to look like that. He’s hot. I run a nervous hand through my hair, knowing it probably looks as if I’ve been having a good deal of sex.
“Ah, Pippa, hey.”
“Hey Mali. I just wanted to come by and see if you were okay. You were sick last night.”
Shit. I forgot I gave them all my address before we left last night, so they could pop over any time. That doesn’t seem like the best choice right now.
“Yeah, I’m feeling much better. Thanks.”
“I’m sorry to intrude, but I just wanted to know if you’ve heard from Rainer. I know he dropped you home last night, but I’ve tried to call him a number of times with no answer. I’m worried he might be hurt.”
Oh. Man.
I can’t lie to her, but at the same time if I tell her Rainer is here, she’ll know I lied last night. Crap.
“Ah . . .”
“Pippa?”
I flinch at the sound of Rainer’s husky, sleep-filled voice. Oh shit. Dammit. He picked the worst time to show up. I see Pippa’s look of surprise, and then a flash of jealousy crosses her features. Her eyes flick to me, then back to Rainer, and I turn to see him standing, wearing the shorts he had on last night and nothing else. That’s because he has nothing else with him.
“Rainer?” Pippa says, her voice shocked and a little pained. “What are you doing here?”
Rainer’s eyes move to me, then back to her. “I stayed the night. I was tired and Mali was good enough to let me stay on the couch instead of having to driving home.”
Oh My God. He’s lying to her. He is openly lying, even though he knows I could call him out on it. My heart explodes with pain, unlike any I’ve ever felt. He’s ashamed to admit he slept with me. He’s ashamed of me. I meet his eyes, and I can almost see him pleading with me to agree with him. It hurts so badly, and I know he can see it. I know he can.
I turn and look back at Pippa, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Sorry we didn’t let you know.”
She smiles. “I’m glad he didn’t drive home. I was worried he’d been hurt after that fight.”
“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Rainer says and nods at Tyke, who has been silent through it all. “Tyke.”
“Rainer. Good to see you.”
“Oh, how rude of me. Mali, this is my boyfriend, Tyke.”
Tyke smiles at me and I have to force mine to look real in return. He extends a hand and I take it, shaking. He’s a big man, not like Rainer but enough that his hand curls around mine, swallowing it. “Good to meet you, Mali.”
“You too. Anyway, I have to get to work, so maybe we can catch up another time?” I say to Pippa.
Her face lights up. “I’d love that. Maybe I can pop in for a coffee this afternoon?”
I nod, flashing her a real smile. “That’d be great.”
I turn and walk past Rainer, refusing to look at him. Mimi gives me a pained expression, one that tells me she knows exactly how that felt. I force a smile but it wobbles and she reaches out, as if she wants to pull me into her arms, but quickly drops her hand.
“I’ll just say goodbye,” Rainer says to Pippa. “Then I’m all yours, beautiful.”
“Should we go for breakfast?” she asks him. “Tyke has to go back to the club.”
“Yeah,” Tyke grunts. “Take her out. She’s tearing the walls down at home.”
Rainer chuckles. “I’ll do that. Wait for me outside.”
I rush up the stairs, hoping to get to my room and lock the door before Rainer gets to me, but he manages to catch up just as I reach my bedroom.
“Mali.”
I freeze, my hand on the knob, pain and agony ripping through me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
Hurt her? She is with another fucking man.
“Get out, Rainer,” I say, twisting the knob.
“Fuck it, Mali, don’t be pissed at me.”
I spin. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
“You said this was casual,” he says, his voice low and almost gentle.
“Casual, yes, but I never expected you to make me feel so fucking worthless. Is it really so horrible to admit you slept with me? Am I really that fucking awful?”
“Jesus, no.”
“Let me guess—you didn’t want poor Pippa to hurt. Did you fucking ever stop and think that I might be hurt?” I scream. “Oh wait, no, of course not. I’m just a cheap fuck, right? You know, if you’re so worried about what she’ll think, you should consider keeping your dick in your pants.”
“Mali . . .”
“No,” I say, pushing the door open. “I’ve known a lot of people in my life, but not one of them has ever made me feel as worthless as you just did. Get out of my fucking house, Rainer.”
Then I step in and slam the door, but not before I burst into a fit of pathetic tears.
~*~*~*~
Work is slow, and I know it’s because my heart is aching. I should have expected it. Rainer told me from the start he didn’t do connections, but stupid me went ahead and assumed he would respect me enough to not make me feel like a cheap lay. Mimi tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t do it. I got dressed and rushed out of the house, broken-hearted and defeated.
I shift. “I . . . I just . . . he’s in love with another woman.”
Her eyes grow sad. “Oh no.”
“Yeah, and she’s taken. He looked at her . . . God . . . with such love. I’m terrified if I tell him who I am now, he’ll leave and . . .”
Mimi steps forward and places a hand on either side of my shoulders. “You won’t know unless you tell him.”
“I just can’t.”
“So what are you going to do? Keep pretending you’re some stranger? What if he starts to care about you, or falls for you, then what are you going to do?”
“That won’t happen.”
“He stayed the night,” she hisses.
“Yeah, that still doesn’t mean anything.”
“Mali, you have to stop this. You’re digging a bigger hole and soon you’ll sink in it. Tell him who you are.”
I should, God, I know I should but . . . I just . . . I can’t. I need to know what happened in his life; I need to figure it all out so I know the best way to approach that.
“I will, I swear. Just not right now. I need a few more weeks.”
“You’re playing with fire,” she warns.
“Yeah, I know that.”
She sighs and we both stand in silence a while. A knock sounds at the door, and I give her a curious look. “Who the hell would that be?”
She shrugs. “You get it, I have no pants on.”
I stare down and realize she doesn’t have pants on, just a pair of panties with a long man-sized shirt. A shirt I don’t recognize. I scrunch my face up and point to it. “We’re going to discuss where that shirt came from.”
She grins.
I turn and walk over to the door, opening it. Who I see is not who I expected to see, and my eyes grow wide with shock. Pippa is standing at the door, with a giant, hot biker behind her. My mouth drops open. I’m guessing the russet-haired man is Tyke, but damn, I never expected him to look like that. He’s hot. I run a nervous hand through my hair, knowing it probably looks as if I’ve been having a good deal of sex.
“Ah, Pippa, hey.”
“Hey Mali. I just wanted to come by and see if you were okay. You were sick last night.”
Shit. I forgot I gave them all my address before we left last night, so they could pop over any time. That doesn’t seem like the best choice right now.
“Yeah, I’m feeling much better. Thanks.”
“I’m sorry to intrude, but I just wanted to know if you’ve heard from Rainer. I know he dropped you home last night, but I’ve tried to call him a number of times with no answer. I’m worried he might be hurt.”
Oh. Man.
I can’t lie to her, but at the same time if I tell her Rainer is here, she’ll know I lied last night. Crap.
“Ah . . .”
“Pippa?”
I flinch at the sound of Rainer’s husky, sleep-filled voice. Oh shit. Dammit. He picked the worst time to show up. I see Pippa’s look of surprise, and then a flash of jealousy crosses her features. Her eyes flick to me, then back to Rainer, and I turn to see him standing, wearing the shorts he had on last night and nothing else. That’s because he has nothing else with him.
“Rainer?” Pippa says, her voice shocked and a little pained. “What are you doing here?”
Rainer’s eyes move to me, then back to her. “I stayed the night. I was tired and Mali was good enough to let me stay on the couch instead of having to driving home.”
Oh My God. He’s lying to her. He is openly lying, even though he knows I could call him out on it. My heart explodes with pain, unlike any I’ve ever felt. He’s ashamed to admit he slept with me. He’s ashamed of me. I meet his eyes, and I can almost see him pleading with me to agree with him. It hurts so badly, and I know he can see it. I know he can.
I turn and look back at Pippa, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Sorry we didn’t let you know.”
She smiles. “I’m glad he didn’t drive home. I was worried he’d been hurt after that fight.”
“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Rainer says and nods at Tyke, who has been silent through it all. “Tyke.”
“Rainer. Good to see you.”
“Oh, how rude of me. Mali, this is my boyfriend, Tyke.”
Tyke smiles at me and I have to force mine to look real in return. He extends a hand and I take it, shaking. He’s a big man, not like Rainer but enough that his hand curls around mine, swallowing it. “Good to meet you, Mali.”
“You too. Anyway, I have to get to work, so maybe we can catch up another time?” I say to Pippa.
Her face lights up. “I’d love that. Maybe I can pop in for a coffee this afternoon?”
I nod, flashing her a real smile. “That’d be great.”
I turn and walk past Rainer, refusing to look at him. Mimi gives me a pained expression, one that tells me she knows exactly how that felt. I force a smile but it wobbles and she reaches out, as if she wants to pull me into her arms, but quickly drops her hand.
“I’ll just say goodbye,” Rainer says to Pippa. “Then I’m all yours, beautiful.”
“Should we go for breakfast?” she asks him. “Tyke has to go back to the club.”
“Yeah,” Tyke grunts. “Take her out. She’s tearing the walls down at home.”
Rainer chuckles. “I’ll do that. Wait for me outside.”
I rush up the stairs, hoping to get to my room and lock the door before Rainer gets to me, but he manages to catch up just as I reach my bedroom.
“Mali.”
I freeze, my hand on the knob, pain and agony ripping through me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
Hurt her? She is with another fucking man.
“Get out, Rainer,” I say, twisting the knob.
“Fuck it, Mali, don’t be pissed at me.”
I spin. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
“You said this was casual,” he says, his voice low and almost gentle.
“Casual, yes, but I never expected you to make me feel so fucking worthless. Is it really so horrible to admit you slept with me? Am I really that fucking awful?”
“Jesus, no.”
“Let me guess—you didn’t want poor Pippa to hurt. Did you fucking ever stop and think that I might be hurt?” I scream. “Oh wait, no, of course not. I’m just a cheap fuck, right? You know, if you’re so worried about what she’ll think, you should consider keeping your dick in your pants.”
“Mali . . .”
“No,” I say, pushing the door open. “I’ve known a lot of people in my life, but not one of them has ever made me feel as worthless as you just did. Get out of my fucking house, Rainer.”
Then I step in and slam the door, but not before I burst into a fit of pathetic tears.
~*~*~*~
Work is slow, and I know it’s because my heart is aching. I should have expected it. Rainer told me from the start he didn’t do connections, but stupid me went ahead and assumed he would respect me enough to not make me feel like a cheap lay. Mimi tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t do it. I got dressed and rushed out of the house, broken-hearted and defeated.
