Flawed Love
Page 25
“Rocking new shoes. Did you buy them today?”
I look down at my new chucks that I’ve paired with skinny jeans and a black and white baseball shirt. It’s my look, and I love it.
“Yeah, Mom got them for me. I think it was a ‘happy you went out with a boy’ gift.”
“I’m surprised she would be seen buying shoes like that.”
I laugh. “I can imagine her face when she entered that store. She would have been horrified.”
We both chuckle.
“Come on, let’s walk in the sand. Is Rainer here tonight?”
I shrug. “I think so.”
“Missy has the shits he isn’t fucking her brains out anymore.”
“Poor Spastic Plastic. She never could keep a man.”
Kenny snorts and we make our way down to the soft sand. There are people everywhere, so it’s hard to tell person from person. I do recognize one face, though. I see Jack. He’s standing with a gorgeous blond girl, his arms around her, lips on her neck. I stop dead. I didn’t expect Jack to keep perusing me after our last encounter, but . . . I mean, we dated . . . he asked me to be his girlfriend, and he never even tried to tell me it wasn’t working out.
I might have forgiven Rainer, but I was still interested in Jack, so seeing him like this hurts. A lot. I thought he was just taking time, maybe figuring out his head, but I did expect him to have the decency to let me know he wasn’t interested anymore.
“Shit,” Kenny says, figuring out what I’ve just seen.
“He . . . I thought . . .”
“He’s a dick,” Kenny says, grabbing my arm. “Don’t let it upset you.”
“He never broke it off with me. I mean, I know he was pissed over what Rainer did but . . .”
“He’s a dick,” Kenny repeats. “You’re worth more.”
“No,” I say softly. “I’m not. I never will be.”
“Emalie,” he says, but I hand him my beer.
“I’m done.”
I turn and walk up towards the cars, hurt and confused. I get things were a bit tense between Jack and I, but I thought we had a bond. I thought something was happening between us. Obviously I was wrong. Like always, everything I think is right isn’t. Stupid, angry tears burn under my eyelids and I want to scream and tear my own hair out with frustration.
“Emalie?”
I stiffen at the sound of Jack’s voice.
I keep walking. I go past the car and up into the thick trees separating the beach from the road. It’s a park, but it’s dark right now so I can’t see where I’m going.
“Wait!” he yells.
Kenny must have gone and said something to him. I don’t need his pity. I keep moving, but Jack catches up quickly, taking my hand and spinning me around. I slap at him, but he doesn’t let me go.
“I didn’t know you were here,” he says.
“Oh, so you didn’t mean to get busted with another girl?”
“No offence, but we’re not even together.”
“You asked me to be your girlfriend,” I cry.
“Yeah, and you let that pig of a friend ruin that.”
“It was a bad night. I was confused, but I was always going to come back to you, Jack.”
He shrugs. “Well, I didn’t know that, did I?”
“Obviously I was wrong about you, and that’s fine.”
He doesn’t let me go. “You can’t expect a man to wait around when you’re interested in your best friend.”
“I wasn’t interested in him. I was interested in you. Jesus, to think I was considering sleeping with you.”
I jerk my arm from his but he doesn’t get out of my space. “What?”
“Never mind.”
“Emalie, wait.” He catches me again, pulling me into his arms. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Give me a second chance.”
I fight a little, but stop when he cups my jaw in his hand. “I’m sorry, I read it wrong. Let me make it up to you.”
“You were kissing another girl.”
“But I wanted to be kissing you.”
“Y-y-y-you did?” I whisper.
“Yeah. In fact, I think it’s about time I kissed you again.”
He leans down before I can protest and presses his lips against mine. I allow this, because I want to believe him. I want to believe that he’s telling the truth, that he just read it wrong, that he really wants me, but something feels off. I realize what that something is when his hand cups my ass. I allow this, too, because I’m so desperate to be accepted. To be wanted. To be needed.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, pressing my body against his.
He thinks I’m beautiful? My heart swells.
His hand moves around and cups my breast, and it’s such a shock I jerk back. An ass squeeze is one thing, but the breast is taking it too far. “Jack,” I say, squirming. “I’m not ready.”
“You just said you were going to sleep with me.”
Oh. My. God.
“Not here,” I protest, but he keeps squeezing my breast.
“Why not here? If it was Rainer, I’m sure you’d be giving in.”
“Stop it,” I plead, hitting his hand.
His other one curls around my ass again and he holds me tight, fingers grinding into my flesh. He moves his hand from my breast down to my pants and cups my sex. I want to vomit.
“Don’t,” I beg. “Please.”
“You’re wet, I just bet . . .”
“I’m not. I don’t want to do this here. Please let me go.”
“You’re a tease, Emalie. You’ve been playing with me from the start, dangling that piece of shit in front of my face. Making me fight for you. I will get it before him, and I will shove his face in it.”
“Let me go!” I cry as he flexes his palm against my sex.
“No.”
I take a deep breath and then I slam my head into his. It’s enough to make him stumble back with a roar. I’m spinning, and it takes me a few seconds to react the way I know I need to. I raise my knee and drive it into his groin. He goes down with a bellow, and I turn and run. My mind is blurred, my head is spinning, and my vision feels off. There’s a tender spot on my forehead that’s throbbing with each pounding step.
My top gets caught on a tree branch and tears with a loud rip. More tears flow, and I’m ashamed. How could I be so stupid? Of course Jack just wanted to get lucky. The moment I said I was considering sleeping with him, he decided I was good enough for him again. How could I be so blind? He probably never wanted me. It was most likely a horrible bet or a joke between friends. Who can get the nerdy girl in bed?
I stumble over to my car, and people are stopping to stare at me. I don’t care. I just need to get home. Gosh, I shouldn’t even be driving, but I’m so desperate I don’t care. I fumble with the key and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get it in to unlock the door. I’m crying too heavily. “Emalie!” Kenny’s voice rings through the ringing sound in my head.
“Emalie, oh my God, what happened?”
“Nothing. I need to g-g-g-go.”
“Shit. Did he . . .”
I look down at my new chucks that I’ve paired with skinny jeans and a black and white baseball shirt. It’s my look, and I love it.
“Yeah, Mom got them for me. I think it was a ‘happy you went out with a boy’ gift.”
“I’m surprised she would be seen buying shoes like that.”
I laugh. “I can imagine her face when she entered that store. She would have been horrified.”
We both chuckle.
“Come on, let’s walk in the sand. Is Rainer here tonight?”
I shrug. “I think so.”
“Missy has the shits he isn’t fucking her brains out anymore.”
“Poor Spastic Plastic. She never could keep a man.”
Kenny snorts and we make our way down to the soft sand. There are people everywhere, so it’s hard to tell person from person. I do recognize one face, though. I see Jack. He’s standing with a gorgeous blond girl, his arms around her, lips on her neck. I stop dead. I didn’t expect Jack to keep perusing me after our last encounter, but . . . I mean, we dated . . . he asked me to be his girlfriend, and he never even tried to tell me it wasn’t working out.
I might have forgiven Rainer, but I was still interested in Jack, so seeing him like this hurts. A lot. I thought he was just taking time, maybe figuring out his head, but I did expect him to have the decency to let me know he wasn’t interested anymore.
“Shit,” Kenny says, figuring out what I’ve just seen.
“He . . . I thought . . .”
“He’s a dick,” Kenny says, grabbing my arm. “Don’t let it upset you.”
“He never broke it off with me. I mean, I know he was pissed over what Rainer did but . . .”
“He’s a dick,” Kenny repeats. “You’re worth more.”
“No,” I say softly. “I’m not. I never will be.”
“Emalie,” he says, but I hand him my beer.
“I’m done.”
I turn and walk up towards the cars, hurt and confused. I get things were a bit tense between Jack and I, but I thought we had a bond. I thought something was happening between us. Obviously I was wrong. Like always, everything I think is right isn’t. Stupid, angry tears burn under my eyelids and I want to scream and tear my own hair out with frustration.
“Emalie?”
I stiffen at the sound of Jack’s voice.
I keep walking. I go past the car and up into the thick trees separating the beach from the road. It’s a park, but it’s dark right now so I can’t see where I’m going.
“Wait!” he yells.
Kenny must have gone and said something to him. I don’t need his pity. I keep moving, but Jack catches up quickly, taking my hand and spinning me around. I slap at him, but he doesn’t let me go.
“I didn’t know you were here,” he says.
“Oh, so you didn’t mean to get busted with another girl?”
“No offence, but we’re not even together.”
“You asked me to be your girlfriend,” I cry.
“Yeah, and you let that pig of a friend ruin that.”
“It was a bad night. I was confused, but I was always going to come back to you, Jack.”
He shrugs. “Well, I didn’t know that, did I?”
“Obviously I was wrong about you, and that’s fine.”
He doesn’t let me go. “You can’t expect a man to wait around when you’re interested in your best friend.”
“I wasn’t interested in him. I was interested in you. Jesus, to think I was considering sleeping with you.”
I jerk my arm from his but he doesn’t get out of my space. “What?”
“Never mind.”
“Emalie, wait.” He catches me again, pulling me into his arms. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Give me a second chance.”
I fight a little, but stop when he cups my jaw in his hand. “I’m sorry, I read it wrong. Let me make it up to you.”
“You were kissing another girl.”
“But I wanted to be kissing you.”
“Y-y-y-you did?” I whisper.
“Yeah. In fact, I think it’s about time I kissed you again.”
He leans down before I can protest and presses his lips against mine. I allow this, because I want to believe him. I want to believe that he’s telling the truth, that he just read it wrong, that he really wants me, but something feels off. I realize what that something is when his hand cups my ass. I allow this, too, because I’m so desperate to be accepted. To be wanted. To be needed.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, pressing my body against his.
He thinks I’m beautiful? My heart swells.
His hand moves around and cups my breast, and it’s such a shock I jerk back. An ass squeeze is one thing, but the breast is taking it too far. “Jack,” I say, squirming. “I’m not ready.”
“You just said you were going to sleep with me.”
Oh. My. God.
“Not here,” I protest, but he keeps squeezing my breast.
“Why not here? If it was Rainer, I’m sure you’d be giving in.”
“Stop it,” I plead, hitting his hand.
His other one curls around my ass again and he holds me tight, fingers grinding into my flesh. He moves his hand from my breast down to my pants and cups my sex. I want to vomit.
“Don’t,” I beg. “Please.”
“You’re wet, I just bet . . .”
“I’m not. I don’t want to do this here. Please let me go.”
“You’re a tease, Emalie. You’ve been playing with me from the start, dangling that piece of shit in front of my face. Making me fight for you. I will get it before him, and I will shove his face in it.”
“Let me go!” I cry as he flexes his palm against my sex.
“No.”
I take a deep breath and then I slam my head into his. It’s enough to make him stumble back with a roar. I’m spinning, and it takes me a few seconds to react the way I know I need to. I raise my knee and drive it into his groin. He goes down with a bellow, and I turn and run. My mind is blurred, my head is spinning, and my vision feels off. There’s a tender spot on my forehead that’s throbbing with each pounding step.
My top gets caught on a tree branch and tears with a loud rip. More tears flow, and I’m ashamed. How could I be so stupid? Of course Jack just wanted to get lucky. The moment I said I was considering sleeping with him, he decided I was good enough for him again. How could I be so blind? He probably never wanted me. It was most likely a horrible bet or a joke between friends. Who can get the nerdy girl in bed?
I stumble over to my car, and people are stopping to stare at me. I don’t care. I just need to get home. Gosh, I shouldn’t even be driving, but I’m so desperate I don’t care. I fumble with the key and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get it in to unlock the door. I’m crying too heavily. “Emalie!” Kenny’s voice rings through the ringing sound in my head.
“Emalie, oh my God, what happened?”
“Nothing. I need to g-g-g-go.”
“Shit. Did he . . .”
