Fragile Eternity
Page 16
Yes. We cant work together if I have to wonder what youre thinking about all the time.
If youre sure thats what you want. His voice was wavering between teasing and intensely serious. Is it, Aislinn? Is that what you truly want of me? You want my total honesty?
She felt like she was walking into a trap, but backing down was not the right approach if she was to be his equal. She forced herself to look him in the eye as she said, It is.
He leaned back and took a sip of his water, watching her as he did so. Well, so you dont need to wonderI was thinkingjust nowthat sometimes we get so caught up in the court stuff, Donia, Niall, your classesIts easy to forget that nothing I have would be mine were it not for you, but its never easy to forget that I still want more.
She blushed. Thats not what I meant.
Soyoure going to play word games now? There was no denying the challenge in his voice this time. You can decide when my honesty is welcome?
No, but
You said you wanted to know what Im thinking; there werent conditions. No word games, Aislinn. Your choice. He sat his glass on the table and waited for several heartbeats. Have you changed your mind so easily? Would you prefer we have secrets or not?
Aislinn felt the edge of terror approach her, not in fear of physical safety, but in fear that the friendship theyd been building was tumbling around her.
When she didnt speak, he went on. I was thinking that no one else couldve handledany of the things you have. Even adjusting to being feyNot one of the Summer Girls adjusted so quickly. You didnt mourn or rage or cling to me.
I knew about faeries. They didnt, she protested. She hated the faery inability to lie more and more as he spoke. It would be easier to lie and deny how painlessly she had become fey. It would be easier to say that she wasnt adjusting to her new life far faster than shed ever thought. It would be easier to say she was struggling.
Because then he wouldnt be doing this to me.
Hed given her space, given her time. Hed been a friend and not even approached the boundaries shed set.
Run. Run now.
She didnt.
And Keenan moved closer, invading her space. You know its more than that. Iknow now that it was right that I didnt find my queen all these years. Waiting for you was worth everything that I thought I couldnt endure.
He had a hand in her hair now; sunlight slid down her skin.
If you were my queen,truly my queen, our court would be stronger still. If you were mine, without mortal distractions, wed be safer. Wed be stronger if we were truly together. Summer is a time to rejoice in pleasures and heat. When Im around you, I want to forget everything else. I love Donia. I always will, but when Im near you He stopped himself.
She knew what he was not-saying. She felt the truth of it, but that part of her wasnt something to give over to her courts health. Had he known theyd feel this way? Had he known that her insistence on approaching queenship as a job and not a relationship was going to limit their courts growth? She didnt want to know the answer.
The court is stronger than its ever been in your lifetime, she murmured.
It is, and Im grateful for what youve given our court. Ill wait as long as I must for the rest. Thats what Im thinking about. I suppose I should be thinking about the list of things we have to do, buthe leaned closer, holding her gazeall I can think right now is that youre here with me where you belong. I do love Donia, but I love my court too. I could love you as were meant to love one another, Aislinn. If youd let me, I could love you enough that wed forget everything but each other.
Keenan
You asked for honesty.
He wasnt lying. He couldnt.It doesnt matter. His telling her these things didnt, couldnt matter.
Aislinn could feel the sunlight that lived somewhere in the center of her. It stretched out to fill her skin to bursting. She was responding to Keenans brief touch with an intensity that shed felt only with Sethwhich was wrong.
Is it?A traitorous voice whispered inside her.Hes my king, my partner.
She put a hand on Keenans chest, intending to push him away, but sunlight pulsed between them at the contact. Their bodies were a giant conduit; sunlight looped between them like a stream of energy that grew stronger as it slipped through the barrier of skin.
His eyes widened, and he drew several unsteady breaths. He leaned toward her, and she felt herself leaning into him. Her arm was bent at the elbow so thatalthough she still had a hand on him as if to push him backthey were chest to chest, her arm pressed between them.
And he kissed her, something hed only done when she was mortal. Once, she had been lost under the dizziness of too much summer wine and too many hours dancing in his arms. The second time was a taste of seduction when she was telling him to leave her alone. But this time, the third time, he kissed her so gently that it was barely a brush of lips. It was a question as much as a kiss. It was affection, and somehow that made it worse.
She pulled away. Stop.
Her word wasnt much beyond a whisper, but he still paused. Are you sure?
She couldnt answer.No lying. She could taste the ripeness of summer in the words, a promise of what she could have if she came just a moment closer.
I need you to move back. She concentrated on the meaning of those words, on the feel of the sofa, on the spines of the leather-bound books she could see on the wall behind Keenanon anything but him.
She lowered her hand from his chest.
Slowly. Just concentrate on what matters. My life. My choices. Seth.
If youre sure thats what you want. His voice was wavering between teasing and intensely serious. Is it, Aislinn? Is that what you truly want of me? You want my total honesty?
She felt like she was walking into a trap, but backing down was not the right approach if she was to be his equal. She forced herself to look him in the eye as she said, It is.
He leaned back and took a sip of his water, watching her as he did so. Well, so you dont need to wonderI was thinkingjust nowthat sometimes we get so caught up in the court stuff, Donia, Niall, your classesIts easy to forget that nothing I have would be mine were it not for you, but its never easy to forget that I still want more.
She blushed. Thats not what I meant.
Soyoure going to play word games now? There was no denying the challenge in his voice this time. You can decide when my honesty is welcome?
No, but
You said you wanted to know what Im thinking; there werent conditions. No word games, Aislinn. Your choice. He sat his glass on the table and waited for several heartbeats. Have you changed your mind so easily? Would you prefer we have secrets or not?
Aislinn felt the edge of terror approach her, not in fear of physical safety, but in fear that the friendship theyd been building was tumbling around her.
When she didnt speak, he went on. I was thinking that no one else couldve handledany of the things you have. Even adjusting to being feyNot one of the Summer Girls adjusted so quickly. You didnt mourn or rage or cling to me.
I knew about faeries. They didnt, she protested. She hated the faery inability to lie more and more as he spoke. It would be easier to lie and deny how painlessly she had become fey. It would be easier to say that she wasnt adjusting to her new life far faster than shed ever thought. It would be easier to say she was struggling.
Because then he wouldnt be doing this to me.
Hed given her space, given her time. Hed been a friend and not even approached the boundaries shed set.
Run. Run now.
She didnt.
And Keenan moved closer, invading her space. You know its more than that. Iknow now that it was right that I didnt find my queen all these years. Waiting for you was worth everything that I thought I couldnt endure.
He had a hand in her hair now; sunlight slid down her skin.
If you were my queen,truly my queen, our court would be stronger still. If you were mine, without mortal distractions, wed be safer. Wed be stronger if we were truly together. Summer is a time to rejoice in pleasures and heat. When Im around you, I want to forget everything else. I love Donia. I always will, but when Im near you He stopped himself.
She knew what he was not-saying. She felt the truth of it, but that part of her wasnt something to give over to her courts health. Had he known theyd feel this way? Had he known that her insistence on approaching queenship as a job and not a relationship was going to limit their courts growth? She didnt want to know the answer.
The court is stronger than its ever been in your lifetime, she murmured.
It is, and Im grateful for what youve given our court. Ill wait as long as I must for the rest. Thats what Im thinking about. I suppose I should be thinking about the list of things we have to do, buthe leaned closer, holding her gazeall I can think right now is that youre here with me where you belong. I do love Donia, but I love my court too. I could love you as were meant to love one another, Aislinn. If youd let me, I could love you enough that wed forget everything but each other.
Keenan
You asked for honesty.
He wasnt lying. He couldnt.It doesnt matter. His telling her these things didnt, couldnt matter.
Aislinn could feel the sunlight that lived somewhere in the center of her. It stretched out to fill her skin to bursting. She was responding to Keenans brief touch with an intensity that shed felt only with Sethwhich was wrong.
Is it?A traitorous voice whispered inside her.Hes my king, my partner.
She put a hand on Keenans chest, intending to push him away, but sunlight pulsed between them at the contact. Their bodies were a giant conduit; sunlight looped between them like a stream of energy that grew stronger as it slipped through the barrier of skin.
His eyes widened, and he drew several unsteady breaths. He leaned toward her, and she felt herself leaning into him. Her arm was bent at the elbow so thatalthough she still had a hand on him as if to push him backthey were chest to chest, her arm pressed between them.
And he kissed her, something hed only done when she was mortal. Once, she had been lost under the dizziness of too much summer wine and too many hours dancing in his arms. The second time was a taste of seduction when she was telling him to leave her alone. But this time, the third time, he kissed her so gently that it was barely a brush of lips. It was a question as much as a kiss. It was affection, and somehow that made it worse.
She pulled away. Stop.
Her word wasnt much beyond a whisper, but he still paused. Are you sure?
She couldnt answer.No lying. She could taste the ripeness of summer in the words, a promise of what she could have if she came just a moment closer.
I need you to move back. She concentrated on the meaning of those words, on the feel of the sofa, on the spines of the leather-bound books she could see on the wall behind Keenanon anything but him.
She lowered her hand from his chest.
Slowly. Just concentrate on what matters. My life. My choices. Seth.
