Fragile Eternity
Page 17
Keenan pulled back as well, watching her intently as he did so. The court would be dying if it werent for you.
I know that. She couldnt move any farther away. There was nowhere to go; the sofa arm was already digging into her back.
I would be useless without you, he continued.
She clutched the pillow in her lap like it was a shield she could hold between them. You held the court together fornine centuries without me.
He nodded. And it was worth it. Every torture was worth it for where we are now and for where we could be if you accept me someday. If we had the time to just be together as we should be
For another too-long moment, she stayed still, trying to find the words to diffuse the tension that had sprung up. This wasnt the first time hed been so expressive in his words, but it was the first time hed reached out to touch her skin in anything other than casual affection. The combination was too much.
Space? Her voice broke on the word.
He moved back farther. Only because you ask it of me.
She felt lightheaded.
Keenan gave her a strained smile.
She stood on unsteady legs and walked to the door. She pulled the door open and clutched the doorknob until she was afraid shed break it. It took more self-control than shed have liked, but she caught his gaze. This changes nothing. Itcant . You are my friend, my king, but thatsall you can be.
He nodded, but it was a gesture that indicated that he heard her, not that he agreed, which was abundantly clear as he said, And you are my queen, my savior, my partnerand thats everything.
Chapter 7
Aislinn walked aimlessly through Huntsdale. Sometimes she didnt feel able to be around Seth; that happened more and more of late with thoughts of Keenan lingering on her mind. Shed been thinking about the things Keenan had said and the way she felt when he reached out toward her, and she was afraid. His separation from Donia would make him more insistent on being with her. They were already too close with summers approach, and she didnt know what to do about it.
Part of her wanted to talk to Seth, but she was terrified that hed go away. No matter how often he whispered that he loved her, she still worried that shed mess it all up, and hed leave. Sometimes she wanted to run from the world of faery problems; how could she expect him not to want the same thing? Seth had to share her with her court and her king. If she told him that Keenan was pressuring herand that she was temptedwould that be the final straw?
Seth gave her space, but he noticed when she was upset and she wasnt sure what she would say if he asked her why.My king, my other half, hes decided to change the rules. And I barely refused. She wasnt up for that conversation, not any time soon. She would be. Shed tell him.Just not yet. Not until I know what to say.
She wanted to talk to someone, but her only other friend who knew about the faeries, Leslie, had left town and refused to discuss them; telling Seth meant admitting to being tempted by Keenan; and her other confidant to things faery, Keenan, was the problem. Aislinn was faced with the unpleasant realization that her own circle of friends was far smaller than it had ever been. Shed never had a huge number of friends, but between the months where she was falling for Seth and trying to call it platonic and the changes with being a faery monarch, shed drifted from the few friends shed had. She still talked to Rianne and Carla at school, but she hadnt hung out with either of them in months.
After a glance at the time, she called Carla.
Carla answered almost immediately. Ash? You okay?
Yeah. Why? Aislinn knew why: she never called anymore.
I justnothing. Whats up?
You free?
Carla was silent for a beat. Then she said, Depends on why youre asking.
Okay, I was thinking Ive been a lousy friend lately. Aislinn paused.
Keep talking. Youre on the right track. Next part is?
Penance? She laughed, relieved that Carla was making light of it. Whats the price?
Ten per game? Meet you there?
Aislinn turned down the next street to head toward Shooters. Spot me a few balls?
Carla snorted. Penance, sweetie. Ive been eying a new video card, and youre going to bankroll it by the time the nights done.
Ouch.
Yep. Carlas laugh was joyful. See you there in thirty.
Ill get a table. Then, in a decidedly improved mood, Aislinn disconnected. She knew that several of her guards followed behind at a discreet distance. Tonight, she didnt want to see them, though. Shooting pool with a friend wouldnt fix a thing, but it felt closer to the normal life she still missed.
With that in mind, she walked the half dozen blocks to Shooters. The h in the sign was out, so it read sooterswhich was far better than when the first s had been out.
It had been weeks since shed even stopped in. Guilt hit her againand fear that shed no longer be welcome. The regular crowd at Shooters worked hard and relaxed with equal enthusiasm. They were all older than she wassome old enough to be Grams long-ago classmatesbut they didnt draw age or class or race lines at Shooters. It was a place where everyone was welcome as long as they didnt start trouble.
Before everything changed, Denny, a pool hustler somewhere in his twenties, had taken her on as a project of sorts. Denny handed her lessons off to his friend Grace when he felt like working a mark, and between their combined tutelage, Aislinn had become a pretty decent shot. Shed never be able to run tables like he did, but that sort of mastery came from shooting every day. Most of the regulars were cool to talk to or shoot with, but it was Denny and Grace whom shed truly missed.
I know that. She couldnt move any farther away. There was nowhere to go; the sofa arm was already digging into her back.
I would be useless without you, he continued.
She clutched the pillow in her lap like it was a shield she could hold between them. You held the court together fornine centuries without me.
He nodded. And it was worth it. Every torture was worth it for where we are now and for where we could be if you accept me someday. If we had the time to just be together as we should be
For another too-long moment, she stayed still, trying to find the words to diffuse the tension that had sprung up. This wasnt the first time hed been so expressive in his words, but it was the first time hed reached out to touch her skin in anything other than casual affection. The combination was too much.
Space? Her voice broke on the word.
He moved back farther. Only because you ask it of me.
She felt lightheaded.
Keenan gave her a strained smile.
She stood on unsteady legs and walked to the door. She pulled the door open and clutched the doorknob until she was afraid shed break it. It took more self-control than shed have liked, but she caught his gaze. This changes nothing. Itcant . You are my friend, my king, but thatsall you can be.
He nodded, but it was a gesture that indicated that he heard her, not that he agreed, which was abundantly clear as he said, And you are my queen, my savior, my partnerand thats everything.
Chapter 7
Aislinn walked aimlessly through Huntsdale. Sometimes she didnt feel able to be around Seth; that happened more and more of late with thoughts of Keenan lingering on her mind. Shed been thinking about the things Keenan had said and the way she felt when he reached out toward her, and she was afraid. His separation from Donia would make him more insistent on being with her. They were already too close with summers approach, and she didnt know what to do about it.
Part of her wanted to talk to Seth, but she was terrified that hed go away. No matter how often he whispered that he loved her, she still worried that shed mess it all up, and hed leave. Sometimes she wanted to run from the world of faery problems; how could she expect him not to want the same thing? Seth had to share her with her court and her king. If she told him that Keenan was pressuring herand that she was temptedwould that be the final straw?
Seth gave her space, but he noticed when she was upset and she wasnt sure what she would say if he asked her why.My king, my other half, hes decided to change the rules. And I barely refused. She wasnt up for that conversation, not any time soon. She would be. Shed tell him.Just not yet. Not until I know what to say.
She wanted to talk to someone, but her only other friend who knew about the faeries, Leslie, had left town and refused to discuss them; telling Seth meant admitting to being tempted by Keenan; and her other confidant to things faery, Keenan, was the problem. Aislinn was faced with the unpleasant realization that her own circle of friends was far smaller than it had ever been. Shed never had a huge number of friends, but between the months where she was falling for Seth and trying to call it platonic and the changes with being a faery monarch, shed drifted from the few friends shed had. She still talked to Rianne and Carla at school, but she hadnt hung out with either of them in months.
After a glance at the time, she called Carla.
Carla answered almost immediately. Ash? You okay?
Yeah. Why? Aislinn knew why: she never called anymore.
I justnothing. Whats up?
You free?
Carla was silent for a beat. Then she said, Depends on why youre asking.
Okay, I was thinking Ive been a lousy friend lately. Aislinn paused.
Keep talking. Youre on the right track. Next part is?
Penance? She laughed, relieved that Carla was making light of it. Whats the price?
Ten per game? Meet you there?
Aislinn turned down the next street to head toward Shooters. Spot me a few balls?
Carla snorted. Penance, sweetie. Ive been eying a new video card, and youre going to bankroll it by the time the nights done.
Ouch.
Yep. Carlas laugh was joyful. See you there in thirty.
Ill get a table. Then, in a decidedly improved mood, Aislinn disconnected. She knew that several of her guards followed behind at a discreet distance. Tonight, she didnt want to see them, though. Shooting pool with a friend wouldnt fix a thing, but it felt closer to the normal life she still missed.
With that in mind, she walked the half dozen blocks to Shooters. The h in the sign was out, so it read sooterswhich was far better than when the first s had been out.
It had been weeks since shed even stopped in. Guilt hit her againand fear that shed no longer be welcome. The regular crowd at Shooters worked hard and relaxed with equal enthusiasm. They were all older than she wassome old enough to be Grams long-ago classmatesbut they didnt draw age or class or race lines at Shooters. It was a place where everyone was welcome as long as they didnt start trouble.
Before everything changed, Denny, a pool hustler somewhere in his twenties, had taken her on as a project of sorts. Denny handed her lessons off to his friend Grace when he felt like working a mark, and between their combined tutelage, Aislinn had become a pretty decent shot. Shed never be able to run tables like he did, but that sort of mastery came from shooting every day. Most of the regulars were cool to talk to or shoot with, but it was Denny and Grace whom shed truly missed.
