Fragile Eternity
Page 63
Which is precisely why Bananach took him there, Niall murmured. Then, he took her arm and escorted her from the courtyard with a comfort that felt familiar. It wasnt time to dwell on the past, on the losses that she shouldve accepted years past. It was time to prepare for the futuredeadly though it might be.
Chapter 24
Aislinn stood nervously outside the door to the formal dining room. Lately shed had dinner every night with Keenan. Some nights, other faeries joined them; sometimes, a number of the Summer Girls were with them; but tonight, it would be just the two of them.
Choose to be happy.Thats what Siobhan had said, and Aislinn had been repeating it like a mantra since that night. For weeks, shed been attempting just that: not giving up but trying not to wallow either. It wasnt working.
She took a deep breath and opened the door.
Keenan was waitingwhich wasnt unusual. She knew hed be there. What was unusual was the change in the room. Candles were lit everywhere. There were also tapers in the wall sconces and fat pillars on tall silver and bronze stands.
Aislinn crossed to the table and poured herself a glass of summer wine. The decanter was old, something shed not seen before.
Keenan didnt speak while she sipped her wine.
She looked not at him but at the candle flames flickering in the draft that came through the room. She didnt want discord between them, especially not as he was her lifeline as of late, but she had to know how much Keenan had hidden from her. She asked the question shed been pondering since Siobhans lecture: Did you know Seth had a charm to protect him from faery glamour?
Ive seen it.
Youve seen it. She let the words drag out, let the silence build, let him have the chance to say something to ease her hurt at not telling her this.
He didnt apologize. Instead he said, I expect Niall gave it to him.
Her hands tightened on the wood of her chair until it started to splinter into her palms. You didnt mention itbecause?
I had no desire to mention anything that could drive you further from me. You know that, Aislinn. I wanted you as my true queen. You felt it too. Keenan came and stood beside her. He loosened her hands from the chair. Will you forgive me? And him?And yourself?
Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. I dont really want to talk about any of this.
And Keenan didnt point out that shed brought it up, or that not-talking wasnt a solution, or any of the things he couldve said. Instead, he said, All I want in this moment is to help you smile.
I know. Aislinn lifted a napkin from the table and studied the embroidered sunbursts that wound into vines.
Itll get easier, he continued. He was like that since Seth left, constantly reassuring her.
She nodded. I know, but right now its still awful. I feel like Ive lost everything. Just like it was for you every time one of the Summer Girls refused the testand when each Winter Girl risked the cold. Either way, each time they came to that point, you lost.
Keenans expression was guarded then. Until you.
They stood there in awkward silence for several moments until Keenan sighed. This conversation is not making you any happier, Aislinn.
Its not theromantic stuff that I missI mean, I do. She paused, trying to figure out how to explain this to a faery whofor all his yearsdidnt seem to have any true friends. Seth was my best friend before he was anything else. He was the only one I could talk to when you and Donia werewhen you picked me.
Keenan waited.
Best friends dont leave without a word, Aislinn said. Now that the words were there, they started bubbling out, and she was saying the things shed been hiding inside. I dont need a boyfriend. I dont need a mate or partner or any of that. I need my friends. Leslies gone. I cant talk to my other friends about anything in my life. Doniastabbed menot that we were close, but I thought we were becoming friends. And now, my best friend has left me.
And you feel alone. Keenan came closer but didnt intrude in her space. So let me be your friend. Thats what you offered me when you became my queen. The approach of summer has added something else to it, but thatsIneed you to be happy, Aislinn.
She nodded, and then she said the words that she wished she didnt have to, Its been weeks without a word. I dont think hell be back, but I cant let go.
Let me be yourfriend , Aislinn. Thats all Im suggesting today. If the rest happens or doesnt, we can deal with that part later. No pressure, just an open door. He held out his arms for an embrace. For now, just let me be here for you. We need to try to move forward instead of standing here weeping and waiting.
She let him hold her. Her sigh caught between pleasure and remorse as he stroked her hair, letting sunlight slide down the strands until she was languid, at peace as she rarely was these days.
Itll be okay. One way or another, things will be okay in the end, he promised.
She wasnt sure if he was speaking opinion or truth, but for now, she let herself believe him.
Happiness is a choice.
Chapter 25
Another month passed without word. Summer was in full strength. Graduation had come and gone, but Aislinn only knew this because her diploma was waiting at her house one afternoon.
Im sorry I missed it, Aislinn told Grams. If youd wanted
Its okay, sweetie. Grams patted the sofa.
Aislinn went to her. It felt like each step was through too-thick air. Im trying. It feels like the sun is choking me some days. And SethI still dont know.
Itll get easier. Being this will get easier. I cant say I understand, butGrams took Aislinns handyou are stronger than you know. Dont forget that.
Chapter 24
Aislinn stood nervously outside the door to the formal dining room. Lately shed had dinner every night with Keenan. Some nights, other faeries joined them; sometimes, a number of the Summer Girls were with them; but tonight, it would be just the two of them.
Choose to be happy.Thats what Siobhan had said, and Aislinn had been repeating it like a mantra since that night. For weeks, shed been attempting just that: not giving up but trying not to wallow either. It wasnt working.
She took a deep breath and opened the door.
Keenan was waitingwhich wasnt unusual. She knew hed be there. What was unusual was the change in the room. Candles were lit everywhere. There were also tapers in the wall sconces and fat pillars on tall silver and bronze stands.
Aislinn crossed to the table and poured herself a glass of summer wine. The decanter was old, something shed not seen before.
Keenan didnt speak while she sipped her wine.
She looked not at him but at the candle flames flickering in the draft that came through the room. She didnt want discord between them, especially not as he was her lifeline as of late, but she had to know how much Keenan had hidden from her. She asked the question shed been pondering since Siobhans lecture: Did you know Seth had a charm to protect him from faery glamour?
Ive seen it.
Youve seen it. She let the words drag out, let the silence build, let him have the chance to say something to ease her hurt at not telling her this.
He didnt apologize. Instead he said, I expect Niall gave it to him.
Her hands tightened on the wood of her chair until it started to splinter into her palms. You didnt mention itbecause?
I had no desire to mention anything that could drive you further from me. You know that, Aislinn. I wanted you as my true queen. You felt it too. Keenan came and stood beside her. He loosened her hands from the chair. Will you forgive me? And him?And yourself?
Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. I dont really want to talk about any of this.
And Keenan didnt point out that shed brought it up, or that not-talking wasnt a solution, or any of the things he couldve said. Instead, he said, All I want in this moment is to help you smile.
I know. Aislinn lifted a napkin from the table and studied the embroidered sunbursts that wound into vines.
Itll get easier, he continued. He was like that since Seth left, constantly reassuring her.
She nodded. I know, but right now its still awful. I feel like Ive lost everything. Just like it was for you every time one of the Summer Girls refused the testand when each Winter Girl risked the cold. Either way, each time they came to that point, you lost.
Keenans expression was guarded then. Until you.
They stood there in awkward silence for several moments until Keenan sighed. This conversation is not making you any happier, Aislinn.
Its not theromantic stuff that I missI mean, I do. She paused, trying to figure out how to explain this to a faery whofor all his yearsdidnt seem to have any true friends. Seth was my best friend before he was anything else. He was the only one I could talk to when you and Donia werewhen you picked me.
Keenan waited.
Best friends dont leave without a word, Aislinn said. Now that the words were there, they started bubbling out, and she was saying the things shed been hiding inside. I dont need a boyfriend. I dont need a mate or partner or any of that. I need my friends. Leslies gone. I cant talk to my other friends about anything in my life. Doniastabbed menot that we were close, but I thought we were becoming friends. And now, my best friend has left me.
And you feel alone. Keenan came closer but didnt intrude in her space. So let me be your friend. Thats what you offered me when you became my queen. The approach of summer has added something else to it, but thatsIneed you to be happy, Aislinn.
She nodded, and then she said the words that she wished she didnt have to, Its been weeks without a word. I dont think hell be back, but I cant let go.
Let me be yourfriend , Aislinn. Thats all Im suggesting today. If the rest happens or doesnt, we can deal with that part later. No pressure, just an open door. He held out his arms for an embrace. For now, just let me be here for you. We need to try to move forward instead of standing here weeping and waiting.
She let him hold her. Her sigh caught between pleasure and remorse as he stroked her hair, letting sunlight slide down the strands until she was languid, at peace as she rarely was these days.
Itll be okay. One way or another, things will be okay in the end, he promised.
She wasnt sure if he was speaking opinion or truth, but for now, she let herself believe him.
Happiness is a choice.
Chapter 25
Another month passed without word. Summer was in full strength. Graduation had come and gone, but Aislinn only knew this because her diploma was waiting at her house one afternoon.
Im sorry I missed it, Aislinn told Grams. If youd wanted
Its okay, sweetie. Grams patted the sofa.
Aislinn went to her. It felt like each step was through too-thick air. Im trying. It feels like the sun is choking me some days. And SethI still dont know.
Itll get easier. Being this will get easier. I cant say I understand, butGrams took Aislinns handyou are stronger than you know. Dont forget that.
