Fragile Eternity
Page 7
Protective to a fault, Matrice narrowed her eyes at his tone.
Well, then, if were done with our businessDonia kept her hands relaxed, refusing to show him that even now she was tempted to reach out to ease that temperMatrice?
Keenans anger fled for a moment. Don?
She gave in then and touched his arm, hating that it was heragainwho had to reach for him. If you want to seeme, not the Winter Queen, butme, you are welcome at the cottage. I will be home later.
He nodded, but didnt agree, didnt promise. He wouldntnot unless his real queen had no need of his attention.
Donia hated her for a moment.If she werent here Of course, if Aislinn hadnt become Summer Queen, Keenan would be wooing yet another mortal, in search of the one whod free him.
At least I have part of him now.Thats better than nothing. Thats what shed told herself at first, but as he turned away, accepting Aislinns hand as they walked, following the Hawthorn Girls back toward the house, Donia had to wonder if it really was better.
That night, Donia walked toward the cottage with the illusion of solitude. In the quiet, Evan undoubtedly trailed behind her. If she concentrated, shed see the blurring wings of the Hawthorn fey in the shadows, hear the chiming music of the lupine. A year ago those same details wouldve set terror in her heart. Evan had been Keenans fey then; and Winter Court faeries had been harbingers of conflict, emissaries from the last Winter Queen, carrying threats and warnings.
So much had changed. Donia had changed. What hadnt changed was how badly she craved Keenans attention, his approval, his touch.
Frozen tears clattered to the ground as she thought about the impact of that craving on her life. Shed surrendered her mortality in the hope that she was his missing queen.I wasnt. Shed watched him woo innumerable mortals in that search as if it didnt hurt each time.It did hurt . Shed willingly gone to her death at his mothers hands for helping him find that queen.But I didnt die.
Instead she was at the helm of the court that had overpowered and oppressed his own for centuriesand her court wanted it to stay that way. Too much of a climate change too fast wasnt good for any of them. Her court pressed the matter, rustling for a few shows of force to remind him that they were still stronger. While in the dark, when it was just the two of them, Keenan would whisper sweet words of peace and balance.
Always in the middlebecause of him. And hed walk away from me for Ash if shed say the word.
Angry with herself for dwelling on it, for even thinking of it, Donia swatted at the tears rolling down her cheeks. He wasnt hers, would never be truly hers, and she couldnt help but feel terrified of that inevitable truth.
She stepped onto her porch.
And he was there waiting, beautiful face furrowed in concern, hands reaching out for her. Don?
His voice held all the yearning shed felt for him earlier.
All of her clarity faded as he held open his arms. She slipped into his embrace and kissed him, not bothering to keep her ice in check, not caring if it wounded him.
Hell stop.
But instead of pushing her away, he pulled her closer. That awful sunlight he carried in his skin flashed brighter. The snow that had begun to fall around them was sizzling away as quickly as it fell.
Her back was against the door. She hadnt unlocked it, but it still swung open. At a glance, she realized that Keenan had melted the lock.
Its not Solstice yet. We shouldnt. Cant
There were welts on her arms where he touched her, blisters on her lips. She tangled her hand in his hair and held him tighter to her. Frost spread down his neck.
Hell stop. Ill stop. Any second now.
They were on the sofa, and tiny fires burned on the cushion above her head. She let her winter slip further out. The room was filled with heavy snowfall. The fires hissed as they were extinguished.
Im stronger. Icouldstop.
But he was touching her. Keenan was here, and he was touching her. She wasnt stopping. Maybe they could make it work; maybe it would be fine. She opened her eyes to look at him, and the brightness blinded her.
Mine, he murmured between kisses.
Their clothes kept catching fire, smoldering out as the snow smothered the flames, only to ignite again. Blisters covered her skin where his hands had gripped her. Frostburnt patches of skin were visible on his chest and neck.
She cried out, and then he pulled back.
Don His face was grief stricken. I didnt mean to He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at her bruised arms. I dont want to hurt you.
I know. She slid to the floor, leaving him alone on the smoking sofa.
I just wanted to talk. He watched her warily.
She concentrated on the ice inside of her, not on how close he still was. About us, or about business?
Both. He grimaced as he tried to pull on his tattered shirt.
She watched him button it up, as if that would help hold it in place. Neither spoke as he fussed with the ruined cloth. Then she asked, Do you love me? Even a little?
He stilled, hands aloft. What?
Do you love me?
He stared at her. How can you ask that?
Do you?She needed to hear it, something, anything.
He didnt answer.
Why are you even here? she asked.
To see you. To be near you.
Why? I need more than your lust. She didnt cry as she said it. She didnt do anything to let him know how badly her heart was breaking. Tell me we have something more than that. Something that wont destroy either of us.
He was a sunlit effigy, as beautiful as always, but his words werent beautiful. Don. Come on. You know its more than that. Youknow whats between us.
Well, then, if were done with our businessDonia kept her hands relaxed, refusing to show him that even now she was tempted to reach out to ease that temperMatrice?
Keenans anger fled for a moment. Don?
She gave in then and touched his arm, hating that it was heragainwho had to reach for him. If you want to seeme, not the Winter Queen, butme, you are welcome at the cottage. I will be home later.
He nodded, but didnt agree, didnt promise. He wouldntnot unless his real queen had no need of his attention.
Donia hated her for a moment.If she werent here Of course, if Aislinn hadnt become Summer Queen, Keenan would be wooing yet another mortal, in search of the one whod free him.
At least I have part of him now.Thats better than nothing. Thats what shed told herself at first, but as he turned away, accepting Aislinns hand as they walked, following the Hawthorn Girls back toward the house, Donia had to wonder if it really was better.
That night, Donia walked toward the cottage with the illusion of solitude. In the quiet, Evan undoubtedly trailed behind her. If she concentrated, shed see the blurring wings of the Hawthorn fey in the shadows, hear the chiming music of the lupine. A year ago those same details wouldve set terror in her heart. Evan had been Keenans fey then; and Winter Court faeries had been harbingers of conflict, emissaries from the last Winter Queen, carrying threats and warnings.
So much had changed. Donia had changed. What hadnt changed was how badly she craved Keenans attention, his approval, his touch.
Frozen tears clattered to the ground as she thought about the impact of that craving on her life. Shed surrendered her mortality in the hope that she was his missing queen.I wasnt. Shed watched him woo innumerable mortals in that search as if it didnt hurt each time.It did hurt . Shed willingly gone to her death at his mothers hands for helping him find that queen.But I didnt die.
Instead she was at the helm of the court that had overpowered and oppressed his own for centuriesand her court wanted it to stay that way. Too much of a climate change too fast wasnt good for any of them. Her court pressed the matter, rustling for a few shows of force to remind him that they were still stronger. While in the dark, when it was just the two of them, Keenan would whisper sweet words of peace and balance.
Always in the middlebecause of him. And hed walk away from me for Ash if shed say the word.
Angry with herself for dwelling on it, for even thinking of it, Donia swatted at the tears rolling down her cheeks. He wasnt hers, would never be truly hers, and she couldnt help but feel terrified of that inevitable truth.
She stepped onto her porch.
And he was there waiting, beautiful face furrowed in concern, hands reaching out for her. Don?
His voice held all the yearning shed felt for him earlier.
All of her clarity faded as he held open his arms. She slipped into his embrace and kissed him, not bothering to keep her ice in check, not caring if it wounded him.
Hell stop.
But instead of pushing her away, he pulled her closer. That awful sunlight he carried in his skin flashed brighter. The snow that had begun to fall around them was sizzling away as quickly as it fell.
Her back was against the door. She hadnt unlocked it, but it still swung open. At a glance, she realized that Keenan had melted the lock.
Its not Solstice yet. We shouldnt. Cant
There were welts on her arms where he touched her, blisters on her lips. She tangled her hand in his hair and held him tighter to her. Frost spread down his neck.
Hell stop. Ill stop. Any second now.
They were on the sofa, and tiny fires burned on the cushion above her head. She let her winter slip further out. The room was filled with heavy snowfall. The fires hissed as they were extinguished.
Im stronger. Icouldstop.
But he was touching her. Keenan was here, and he was touching her. She wasnt stopping. Maybe they could make it work; maybe it would be fine. She opened her eyes to look at him, and the brightness blinded her.
Mine, he murmured between kisses.
Their clothes kept catching fire, smoldering out as the snow smothered the flames, only to ignite again. Blisters covered her skin where his hands had gripped her. Frostburnt patches of skin were visible on his chest and neck.
She cried out, and then he pulled back.
Don His face was grief stricken. I didnt mean to He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at her bruised arms. I dont want to hurt you.
I know. She slid to the floor, leaving him alone on the smoking sofa.
I just wanted to talk. He watched her warily.
She concentrated on the ice inside of her, not on how close he still was. About us, or about business?
Both. He grimaced as he tried to pull on his tattered shirt.
She watched him button it up, as if that would help hold it in place. Neither spoke as he fussed with the ruined cloth. Then she asked, Do you love me? Even a little?
He stilled, hands aloft. What?
Do you love me?
He stared at her. How can you ask that?
Do you?She needed to hear it, something, anything.
He didnt answer.
Why are you even here? she asked.
To see you. To be near you.
Why? I need more than your lust. She didnt cry as she said it. She didnt do anything to let him know how badly her heart was breaking. Tell me we have something more than that. Something that wont destroy either of us.
He was a sunlit effigy, as beautiful as always, but his words werent beautiful. Don. Come on. You know its more than that. Youknow whats between us.
