Fragile
Page 24
Miracle wound her fingers around his, her touch as gentle as butterfly wings. “I know.”
Her heart was in her eyes. He knew his heart was in his. Hardy couldn’t hold back what he was feeling any longer. He was terrified he wouldn’t get another chance to tell her if he did.
Squatting down beside her, Hardy brought Miracle’s fingers to his lips. “Miracle, I’m in love with you. I’d never hurt you. Ever.”
When Hardy raised his eyes to hers, they were overflowing with tears. Though she made not a sound, her body shook with her sobs and she squeezed her eyes shut. Hardy dropped his forehead to her hand.
“I’m so sorry. If I could take it back, I would. If there was a single day that I could do over, a single hour even, it would be that one.”
“It’s not that,” she finally managed, her voice thick. “I just wish I could spare you all this.”
Hardy looked up. “All what?”
“All this,” she said, indicating her body.
“I wouldn’t miss a day with you for anything. A sick day, a healthy day. I don’t care. I mean, of course I wish you weren’t sick, but I want to be with you regardless.”
“For a while anyway,” she said sadly.
“No, not for a while. As long as you’ll have me. Didn’t you hear me, Miracle? I’m in love with you!”
“But Hardy—”
“No, no buts,” he interrupted with a shake of his head. “I’m tired of people telling what I feel and how I should feel. I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I feel. I know this is real.”
Miracle watched Hardy in silence.
“They think my other kidney is failing.”
Hardy felt the bottom drop out of his world.
“What does that mean? I mean, what will they do?”
“If it’s bad, it means they’ll put me on the transplant list to try and find me a new kidney.”
“How long could that take?”
“I don’t know. Could be years.”
“So what will you do in the meantime?”
“Get dialysis three times a week.”
Hardy slowly nodded his head, his lips finally curving into a lopsided grin. “Need a ride?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
2 months later
“Absolutely not!” Wayne Bradford bellowed. “You have screwed up enough because of that girl. You are not going to play chauffer to her for the rest of…who knows how long.”
Hardy expected this reaction from his father. If there had been any other way around it, he wouldn’t have even told him, let alone asked his permission. But there wasn’t. The school required a note from a parent and Hardy knew his mother would never give him one without talking to the dictator, hence his current predicament.
“It’s only six days, Dad. I told you that. Three days each week for two weeks. And it’s only sixth period, a class you didn’t want me to take to begin with,” Hardy added hoping to sweeten the pot. It was photography, an interest of Hardy’s that Wayne Bradford had never supported. “My god, she’s sick, Dad. Her mom has taken her all this time, but she had to pick up a second job just so they could afford Miracle’s medical bills from the last two months. It’s just during her training that she can’t take Miracle to dialysis. They need some help. How can you say no to that?”
Hardy watched his father’s eyes flash. “Oh, don’t play that card with me. Don’t act like this is just some sort of community service. That would be totally different. But it’s not. You’ve got feelings for this girl and I refuse to let you walk right into her trap.”
“Trap? What trap could she possibly be laying for me?”
“That question shows me just how naïve and unprepared you are for the world, Hardy. You don’t have a clue what’s out there, what people are really like.”
“Oh, I think I’ve had years of disappointment to prepare me for what’s out there, Dad,” Hardy sneered, spitting his name out like poison.
Hardy watched his father’s face turn bright red. “Are you really stupid enough to think you’re helping your case with a tone like that?”
Hardy immediately regretted his barb. Wayne was right; he wasn’t helping matters at all.
“Dad, please. The football season is over. What’s done is done. Look on the bright side. Maybe this will look good on my college applications. I hadn’t really thought of it, but it is kind of like doing community service.”
He knew he’d struck a nerve. Hardy could practically see the wheels turning in his father’s head.
Wayne snorted. “If only you’d put this much effort into playing football and keeping your girlfriend, you’d be home free by now.”
“Look, I’ve made some mistakes, I’ll admit, but there’s no reason that I can’t try to make the best of things now.”
“I still don’t like it. I don’t want this girl getting under your skin any more than she already has.”
“What if I promise to call that coach from UT like you’ve been wanting me to? The one the scout told you might be still interested.”
Hardy had been putting that off, saying he’d rather hold out for LSU. They all knew his future at LSU looked bleak, but Hardy was willing to hold on to that as a stall tactic, just to keep his dad off his back. But now, he was more than willing to play that card to get what he wanted. It was a small sacrifice to be able to help Miracle.
“I can’t believe such a bright, promising future has come to this. I never thought I could be this disappointed in you, this ashamed of the way you’ve squandered your opportunities.”
Inside, Hardy rolled his eyes. He’d heard all about what a terrible person he was, what an awful son he was, what an inconsiderate, irresponsible failure he was. At the moment, though, he was willing to listen to it one more time if it meant his father would give in.
When it seemed that his dad was finished, Hardy asked quietly. “I’ll do better, Dad. Just give me this one thing.”
“You’ll owe me, Hardy. And that means no excuses, no complaining, and no procrastinating. We’re going to get you into a good college to play football if it kills us both.”
The idea of his father dropping dead wasn’t as unappealing to Hardy as it should’ve been. Sadly.
“I know, Dad. I know.”
Wayne Bradford jerked the paper out of Hardy’s freshly-uncasted hand and laid it on the island in the kitchen. Pulling an expensive pen from his pocket, he scrawled his signature across the bottom.
Hardy let out a sigh of relief when his father handed him the note. “Thanks, Dad.”
His father said nothing as he stalked off. As soon as he was out of sight, Hardy pulled out his phone and texted Miracle. He knew she’d still be awake; it hadn’t been that long since he’d left her house.
Found you a ride to dialysis tomorrow:-)
Hardy had just stepped into his room and closed the door behind him when he got a response.
Have I ever told you you’re my hero?
In the solitude of his bedroom, Hardy smiled. Miracle had no idea how much he wanted to be her hero, to save her from pain and suffering, from sadness and sickness, from anything and everything that threatened her smile.
Think you could knit me a cape for Christmas?
Anything for you. Bet you’d look good in tights, too;)
Any mention of the holidays always brought Hardy back to the same question.
Have you picked something yet?
There was a longer-than-usual pause before she responded.
Yes.
Which one?
I’ll tell you later. Then quickly. C U tomorrow. I love you.
I love you, too.
Miracle had made Hardy promise that the only thing he’d get her for Christmas was to help her fulfill an item on her bucket list. Although Hardy despised discussing that list, he knew they were all things important to Miracle, so he smiled and went along with it, even though it often left him feeling melancholy. At least she’d finally chosen one, so now he could get on with planning her Christmas present.
The next morning, Hardy drove to Miracle’s house. On the way, images from the days she spent in the hospital flitted through his mind, as they so often did.
From the emergency room, they’d admitted her for surgery where they placed a temporary catheter in her leg so she could start dialysis as soon as possible. They had also put a graft in her right arm as a more permanent solution until she could get a transplant, but it would take a while before they could use it for dialysis, which she needed quickly. Her kidney was in bad shape.
Kelly St. James had let Hardy stay until they took Miracle off to surgery and he hadn’t left her side until late that night when the nurses had run him off. He’d been back there bright and early the next morning and stayed all day.
She’d been incredible through the whole thing. Most of the time, it was Miracle who was laughing and keeping things light, as though she was providing comfort to him, rather than the other way around. He thought he’d been in awe of her before, but after seeing her cope with the news about her kidney and all the poking and prodding, Hardy was certain he’d never met a stronger, more amazing person in all his life.
Hardy pulled up to the curb in front of Miracle’s house, as he had most every morning since she’d started coming back to school. And, just as she always did, Miracle came flying out the door before he could even put the car in park. It was a contest of sorts between them—Miracle tried to get to the car before Hardy could get out and open the door for her. She had yet to best him.
Hardy barely beat her this time. But he did. Making a big production of it, he opened the door, sweeping his arm out with a flourish to indicate the waiting passenger seat. “Your chariot, milady.”
With a grin, Miracle ignored the open door, choosing instead to wrap her arms around Hardy’s neck and rub her nose against his. “This wouldn’t by any chance be my chariot for dialysis, too, would it?”
Hardy narrowed his eyes and rolled them skyward. “Um, it’s a strong possibility.”
Miracle squealed and scattered kisses all over his face. “You are the most wonderful, amazing, kind, considerate, handsome, sexy—”
Hardy laughed, interrupting. “You did want to make it to school today, right?”
Miracle giggled. “Do we have to?”
Hardy knew she was teasing, but his body warmed instantly to what she was suggesting. “Don’t tempt me.”
Miracle’s expression sobered. “Maybe I want to tempt you.”
Hardy searched her eyes. In them, he saw something…different, something that hadn’t been there even as recently as last night. He was hesitant to acknowledge it, however, in case he was way off base.
“All you have to do is show up and I’m tempted,” he said, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth.
Miracle pulled away and looked at him for several long seconds before she spoke. “What if I told you that’s what I want for Christmas?”
“What is what you want for Christmas?”
Miracle paused, color flooding her cheeks. “You.”
“You already have me.”
“Not all of you.”
Hardy felt his breathing grow shallow and his pulse pick up. Could he have been right?
“You can have any part of me you want.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.”
Miracle chewed her lip nervously. “Then maybe it can be an early Christmas present.”
Her desire to rush it made Hardy uneasy. “Why? Is there something wrong with Christmas day?”
“No, I just want to do everything I can as soon as possible. I mean, no particular reason, but why wait, right?”
Before he could dig any further, Miracle pecked him on the lips and stepped away to slide into the car, smiling a little too brightly up at him.
“All right, chariot driver, get me to school post haste!”
Hardy smiled and went along with her, but he wouldn’t just forget what she’d said. Or the sinking feeling he got thinking that their time might truly be limited. He didn’t put it past Miracle to hide something serious from him in an attempt to “spare him.”
They went about their normal routine. Hardy walked Miracle to her locker, waited for her to get her books and then carried her backpack to class for her. She insisted that she was able to do it, and he had no doubts that she was right. What Hardy had found, however, was that he liked taking care of her. He liked being her knight in shining armor. He He liked spending those few extra minutes with her. So he did.
After he’d collected his reward for walking her—a quick kiss that never failed to stir his blood—Hardy made his way to his own class.
Christmas was two weeks away, but he’d already stopped noticing the decorations. His thoughts and his focus were almost always on Miracle, as they were today.
Whether she’d intended to or not, whether there was reason to worry or not, Miracle had instilled a sense of urgency in Hardy. He flipped through an internal catalog of all the things she’d ever told him were on her bucket list. Maybe she was right. Maybe they shouldn’t wait.
In that moment, Hardy started planning. If Miracle wanted him to make love to her for Christmas, he’d give her a night she’d never forget.
********
Hardy lay in the bed beside Miracle and they watched one of her favorite movies on the portable DVD player she’d brought with her. Her head was on his shoulder and he was absently fiddling with the fingers of her left hand, her right arm being otherwise occupied with dialysis. It was the fourth time he’d taken her to her appointment so he’d grown accustomed to the procedure and the limitations during it.
Her heart was in her eyes. He knew his heart was in his. Hardy couldn’t hold back what he was feeling any longer. He was terrified he wouldn’t get another chance to tell her if he did.
Squatting down beside her, Hardy brought Miracle’s fingers to his lips. “Miracle, I’m in love with you. I’d never hurt you. Ever.”
When Hardy raised his eyes to hers, they were overflowing with tears. Though she made not a sound, her body shook with her sobs and she squeezed her eyes shut. Hardy dropped his forehead to her hand.
“I’m so sorry. If I could take it back, I would. If there was a single day that I could do over, a single hour even, it would be that one.”
“It’s not that,” she finally managed, her voice thick. “I just wish I could spare you all this.”
Hardy looked up. “All what?”
“All this,” she said, indicating her body.
“I wouldn’t miss a day with you for anything. A sick day, a healthy day. I don’t care. I mean, of course I wish you weren’t sick, but I want to be with you regardless.”
“For a while anyway,” she said sadly.
“No, not for a while. As long as you’ll have me. Didn’t you hear me, Miracle? I’m in love with you!”
“But Hardy—”
“No, no buts,” he interrupted with a shake of his head. “I’m tired of people telling what I feel and how I should feel. I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I feel. I know this is real.”
Miracle watched Hardy in silence.
“They think my other kidney is failing.”
Hardy felt the bottom drop out of his world.
“What does that mean? I mean, what will they do?”
“If it’s bad, it means they’ll put me on the transplant list to try and find me a new kidney.”
“How long could that take?”
“I don’t know. Could be years.”
“So what will you do in the meantime?”
“Get dialysis three times a week.”
Hardy slowly nodded his head, his lips finally curving into a lopsided grin. “Need a ride?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
2 months later
“Absolutely not!” Wayne Bradford bellowed. “You have screwed up enough because of that girl. You are not going to play chauffer to her for the rest of…who knows how long.”
Hardy expected this reaction from his father. If there had been any other way around it, he wouldn’t have even told him, let alone asked his permission. But there wasn’t. The school required a note from a parent and Hardy knew his mother would never give him one without talking to the dictator, hence his current predicament.
“It’s only six days, Dad. I told you that. Three days each week for two weeks. And it’s only sixth period, a class you didn’t want me to take to begin with,” Hardy added hoping to sweeten the pot. It was photography, an interest of Hardy’s that Wayne Bradford had never supported. “My god, she’s sick, Dad. Her mom has taken her all this time, but she had to pick up a second job just so they could afford Miracle’s medical bills from the last two months. It’s just during her training that she can’t take Miracle to dialysis. They need some help. How can you say no to that?”
Hardy watched his father’s eyes flash. “Oh, don’t play that card with me. Don’t act like this is just some sort of community service. That would be totally different. But it’s not. You’ve got feelings for this girl and I refuse to let you walk right into her trap.”
“Trap? What trap could she possibly be laying for me?”
“That question shows me just how naïve and unprepared you are for the world, Hardy. You don’t have a clue what’s out there, what people are really like.”
“Oh, I think I’ve had years of disappointment to prepare me for what’s out there, Dad,” Hardy sneered, spitting his name out like poison.
Hardy watched his father’s face turn bright red. “Are you really stupid enough to think you’re helping your case with a tone like that?”
Hardy immediately regretted his barb. Wayne was right; he wasn’t helping matters at all.
“Dad, please. The football season is over. What’s done is done. Look on the bright side. Maybe this will look good on my college applications. I hadn’t really thought of it, but it is kind of like doing community service.”
He knew he’d struck a nerve. Hardy could practically see the wheels turning in his father’s head.
Wayne snorted. “If only you’d put this much effort into playing football and keeping your girlfriend, you’d be home free by now.”
“Look, I’ve made some mistakes, I’ll admit, but there’s no reason that I can’t try to make the best of things now.”
“I still don’t like it. I don’t want this girl getting under your skin any more than she already has.”
“What if I promise to call that coach from UT like you’ve been wanting me to? The one the scout told you might be still interested.”
Hardy had been putting that off, saying he’d rather hold out for LSU. They all knew his future at LSU looked bleak, but Hardy was willing to hold on to that as a stall tactic, just to keep his dad off his back. But now, he was more than willing to play that card to get what he wanted. It was a small sacrifice to be able to help Miracle.
“I can’t believe such a bright, promising future has come to this. I never thought I could be this disappointed in you, this ashamed of the way you’ve squandered your opportunities.”
Inside, Hardy rolled his eyes. He’d heard all about what a terrible person he was, what an awful son he was, what an inconsiderate, irresponsible failure he was. At the moment, though, he was willing to listen to it one more time if it meant his father would give in.
When it seemed that his dad was finished, Hardy asked quietly. “I’ll do better, Dad. Just give me this one thing.”
“You’ll owe me, Hardy. And that means no excuses, no complaining, and no procrastinating. We’re going to get you into a good college to play football if it kills us both.”
The idea of his father dropping dead wasn’t as unappealing to Hardy as it should’ve been. Sadly.
“I know, Dad. I know.”
Wayne Bradford jerked the paper out of Hardy’s freshly-uncasted hand and laid it on the island in the kitchen. Pulling an expensive pen from his pocket, he scrawled his signature across the bottom.
Hardy let out a sigh of relief when his father handed him the note. “Thanks, Dad.”
His father said nothing as he stalked off. As soon as he was out of sight, Hardy pulled out his phone and texted Miracle. He knew she’d still be awake; it hadn’t been that long since he’d left her house.
Found you a ride to dialysis tomorrow:-)
Hardy had just stepped into his room and closed the door behind him when he got a response.
Have I ever told you you’re my hero?
In the solitude of his bedroom, Hardy smiled. Miracle had no idea how much he wanted to be her hero, to save her from pain and suffering, from sadness and sickness, from anything and everything that threatened her smile.
Think you could knit me a cape for Christmas?
Anything for you. Bet you’d look good in tights, too;)
Any mention of the holidays always brought Hardy back to the same question.
Have you picked something yet?
There was a longer-than-usual pause before she responded.
Yes.
Which one?
I’ll tell you later. Then quickly. C U tomorrow. I love you.
I love you, too.
Miracle had made Hardy promise that the only thing he’d get her for Christmas was to help her fulfill an item on her bucket list. Although Hardy despised discussing that list, he knew they were all things important to Miracle, so he smiled and went along with it, even though it often left him feeling melancholy. At least she’d finally chosen one, so now he could get on with planning her Christmas present.
The next morning, Hardy drove to Miracle’s house. On the way, images from the days she spent in the hospital flitted through his mind, as they so often did.
From the emergency room, they’d admitted her for surgery where they placed a temporary catheter in her leg so she could start dialysis as soon as possible. They had also put a graft in her right arm as a more permanent solution until she could get a transplant, but it would take a while before they could use it for dialysis, which she needed quickly. Her kidney was in bad shape.
Kelly St. James had let Hardy stay until they took Miracle off to surgery and he hadn’t left her side until late that night when the nurses had run him off. He’d been back there bright and early the next morning and stayed all day.
She’d been incredible through the whole thing. Most of the time, it was Miracle who was laughing and keeping things light, as though she was providing comfort to him, rather than the other way around. He thought he’d been in awe of her before, but after seeing her cope with the news about her kidney and all the poking and prodding, Hardy was certain he’d never met a stronger, more amazing person in all his life.
Hardy pulled up to the curb in front of Miracle’s house, as he had most every morning since she’d started coming back to school. And, just as she always did, Miracle came flying out the door before he could even put the car in park. It was a contest of sorts between them—Miracle tried to get to the car before Hardy could get out and open the door for her. She had yet to best him.
Hardy barely beat her this time. But he did. Making a big production of it, he opened the door, sweeping his arm out with a flourish to indicate the waiting passenger seat. “Your chariot, milady.”
With a grin, Miracle ignored the open door, choosing instead to wrap her arms around Hardy’s neck and rub her nose against his. “This wouldn’t by any chance be my chariot for dialysis, too, would it?”
Hardy narrowed his eyes and rolled them skyward. “Um, it’s a strong possibility.”
Miracle squealed and scattered kisses all over his face. “You are the most wonderful, amazing, kind, considerate, handsome, sexy—”
Hardy laughed, interrupting. “You did want to make it to school today, right?”
Miracle giggled. “Do we have to?”
Hardy knew she was teasing, but his body warmed instantly to what she was suggesting. “Don’t tempt me.”
Miracle’s expression sobered. “Maybe I want to tempt you.”
Hardy searched her eyes. In them, he saw something…different, something that hadn’t been there even as recently as last night. He was hesitant to acknowledge it, however, in case he was way off base.
“All you have to do is show up and I’m tempted,” he said, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth.
Miracle pulled away and looked at him for several long seconds before she spoke. “What if I told you that’s what I want for Christmas?”
“What is what you want for Christmas?”
Miracle paused, color flooding her cheeks. “You.”
“You already have me.”
“Not all of you.”
Hardy felt his breathing grow shallow and his pulse pick up. Could he have been right?
“You can have any part of me you want.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.”
Miracle chewed her lip nervously. “Then maybe it can be an early Christmas present.”
Her desire to rush it made Hardy uneasy. “Why? Is there something wrong with Christmas day?”
“No, I just want to do everything I can as soon as possible. I mean, no particular reason, but why wait, right?”
Before he could dig any further, Miracle pecked him on the lips and stepped away to slide into the car, smiling a little too brightly up at him.
“All right, chariot driver, get me to school post haste!”
Hardy smiled and went along with her, but he wouldn’t just forget what she’d said. Or the sinking feeling he got thinking that their time might truly be limited. He didn’t put it past Miracle to hide something serious from him in an attempt to “spare him.”
They went about their normal routine. Hardy walked Miracle to her locker, waited for her to get her books and then carried her backpack to class for her. She insisted that she was able to do it, and he had no doubts that she was right. What Hardy had found, however, was that he liked taking care of her. He liked being her knight in shining armor. He He liked spending those few extra minutes with her. So he did.
After he’d collected his reward for walking her—a quick kiss that never failed to stir his blood—Hardy made his way to his own class.
Christmas was two weeks away, but he’d already stopped noticing the decorations. His thoughts and his focus were almost always on Miracle, as they were today.
Whether she’d intended to or not, whether there was reason to worry or not, Miracle had instilled a sense of urgency in Hardy. He flipped through an internal catalog of all the things she’d ever told him were on her bucket list. Maybe she was right. Maybe they shouldn’t wait.
In that moment, Hardy started planning. If Miracle wanted him to make love to her for Christmas, he’d give her a night she’d never forget.
********
Hardy lay in the bed beside Miracle and they watched one of her favorite movies on the portable DVD player she’d brought with her. Her head was on his shoulder and he was absently fiddling with the fingers of her left hand, her right arm being otherwise occupied with dialysis. It was the fourth time he’d taken her to her appointment so he’d grown accustomed to the procedure and the limitations during it.
