Games of the Heart
Page 153
I felt stinging at the backs of my eyes as I watched her make a visible effort to tear herself from the door, take a step into her son’s room and stand on her own two feet while holding Fin’s eyes.
“There is no other man on this earth for me. There was only one Darrin Holliday. He was mine. Then he was gone. I’m tryin’ to make peace with that. It’s not easy, but I’m tryin’. And one of the beautiful things about your father was that there was no other woman on this earth for him but me. I know that ‘cause the way he treated me. I know that because he told me. And you’re your father’s son.” She smiled a shaky smile. “The same thing was bound to happen to you but it happened for you sooner. And it happened, Finley. You’re not helpin’ make a dream come true by lettin’ Rees be free. You’re killin’ the most important dream she’ll ever have. Learn from your Dad. Give her what you’ve got to give. I promise you, honey, it’ll give her what she needs to make her other dreams fly free. And, what I see when I see her with you, she’ll never regret a day of it. Not for the rest of her life.”
Rhonda fell silent and Fin and I were right there with her.
Finally, Fin broke it and said to his mother quietly, “I f**ked up huge and I don’t know how to fix it.”
She tipped her head to the side and said quietly back, “You can start buy callin’ this Millie girl and sayin’ the date’s off. Then you can walk across that field and talk to your girl. Tell her what you told your Aunt Dusty. And I promise you, she might be upset, she might be angry but in the end, everything will be just fine.”
“She was cryin’,” he whispered, his eyes still on his mother. “And Aunt Dusty said her heart’s broke.”
“So fix it,” Rhonda whispered back.
“How do I do that?” Fin asked.
“Honey, you’re my Finley. I don’t know,” she answered. “The only thing I do know is that you’ll find a way.”
God, I forgot how much I loved Rhonda.
Fin held her eyes.
I held my breath.
Then Fin nodded.
I let out my breath.
Rhonda smiled.
Then Fin said gently, “I’m sorry you lost Dad, Ma.”
My eyes started stinging again.
Rhonda licked her lips then pressed them together.
Then she unpressed them to whisper, “I am too.”
I stood there watching a son have a long time coming moment with his mother as they gazed at each other across the bedroom.
Then he took half a step back, his hand going to his back pocket and, looking at no one, he muttered, “I gotta make a call.”
Cue departure, so I moved toward the door. Rhonda was already out of it.
By the time I hit the doorway and turned back to grab the knob, Fin had his phone out. He must have sensed me stopping because his neck twisted and his eyes came to me.
I mouthed, “I love you, Finley.”
Then I closed the door.
Rhonda was hovering in the hall, her eyes caught mine immediately and she whispered, “Did I do all right?”
Was she crazy?
I snatched her in my arms, held her close and whispered in her ear, “Oh, honey. Definitely.”
Her arms moved around me. Mine got tighter around her. Hers got tighter around me. Then I felt her body shaking gently and she shoved her face in my neck. Mine started to do the same and I shoved my face in hers. We held each other for a while and cried silently.
Then I pulled away slightly, releasing her with one hand, wiping at my face with it and I said quietly, “I better get back to the house. Mike just came back when I took off to throw down with Fin. If Fin is gonna get in that door, I’ve got a lot of talking to do.”
She nodded, wiping her face too.
I smiled a small smile at her, gave her a one-armed squeeze then let her go and started walking down the hall.
“Dusty?” she called, I stopped and turned back. “Thank you,” she said softly, hesitated, threw out a fluttering hand and finished, “For everything.”
I took in a breath.
Rhonda was back.
“My pleasure, honey,” I replied softly back. “And thank you.”
Her head tipped to the side as her brows inched together. “For what?”
“For loving my brother the way you do.”
She pressed her lips together.
Before I lost it again, I turned, walked the rest of the way to the stairs, jogged down them and hurried home.
*
Fin was on the blanket he spread out on the grass by the side of the creek at the watering hole. He was on his back, knees cocked, his torso held up on his forearms that were in the blanket behind him.
Reesee was on her back with knees cocked too, her head resting on his gut.
His Ma was right. It flipped him out to see how pissed Mr. Haines was when he hit the backdoor of Reesee’s house but Aunt Dusty, being Aunt Dusty, smoothed the way and even got Mr. Haines to allow Fin actually to go up to Reesee’s bedroom. And it flipped him out even more, once he got there, to see what he’d done to her. It was written all over her face, what he’d done playing games of the heart.
But his Ma was right. He’d fixed it. He just had to tell her why he did what he did and Reesee forgave him right away.
Now it was warm, it was May, the crop was in, it was growing, things had settled down and when school was out he was looking forward to bringing Rees here in her bathing suit.
“I love you, Finley.”
Fin blinked at the creek but he felt his body go stone-still.
Then he whispered, “What?”
She lifted her head off his gut, got up on her forearm in the blanket and her eyes locked right on his. Right on them. Straight up. No hiding.
And he saw it there. What he’d been seeing for a while. What he’d been seeing almost since the beginning.
Then she gave him the words that went with what he saw in her eyes.
“I love you,” she repeated.
God. Jesus, f**k. God.
That felt good.
He braced his weight against one elbow, lifted his hand, cupped her jaw and whispered back, “I love you too, babe.”
She smiled at him and, God, Jesus, f**k, God her smile felt good too.
Then she moved until her hand was flat and warm on his tee over his chest and she whispered, “Please don’t ever do that to me again.”
Not knowing why he did it, his hand moved to her neck then around to the back and he put gentle pressure there. She felt it and moved to him until her lips were on his. He touched them in a soft brush and released the pressure on her neck so she move back an inch.
“There is no other man on this earth for me. There was only one Darrin Holliday. He was mine. Then he was gone. I’m tryin’ to make peace with that. It’s not easy, but I’m tryin’. And one of the beautiful things about your father was that there was no other woman on this earth for him but me. I know that ‘cause the way he treated me. I know that because he told me. And you’re your father’s son.” She smiled a shaky smile. “The same thing was bound to happen to you but it happened for you sooner. And it happened, Finley. You’re not helpin’ make a dream come true by lettin’ Rees be free. You’re killin’ the most important dream she’ll ever have. Learn from your Dad. Give her what you’ve got to give. I promise you, honey, it’ll give her what she needs to make her other dreams fly free. And, what I see when I see her with you, she’ll never regret a day of it. Not for the rest of her life.”
Rhonda fell silent and Fin and I were right there with her.
Finally, Fin broke it and said to his mother quietly, “I f**ked up huge and I don’t know how to fix it.”
She tipped her head to the side and said quietly back, “You can start buy callin’ this Millie girl and sayin’ the date’s off. Then you can walk across that field and talk to your girl. Tell her what you told your Aunt Dusty. And I promise you, she might be upset, she might be angry but in the end, everything will be just fine.”
“She was cryin’,” he whispered, his eyes still on his mother. “And Aunt Dusty said her heart’s broke.”
“So fix it,” Rhonda whispered back.
“How do I do that?” Fin asked.
“Honey, you’re my Finley. I don’t know,” she answered. “The only thing I do know is that you’ll find a way.”
God, I forgot how much I loved Rhonda.
Fin held her eyes.
I held my breath.
Then Fin nodded.
I let out my breath.
Rhonda smiled.
Then Fin said gently, “I’m sorry you lost Dad, Ma.”
My eyes started stinging again.
Rhonda licked her lips then pressed them together.
Then she unpressed them to whisper, “I am too.”
I stood there watching a son have a long time coming moment with his mother as they gazed at each other across the bedroom.
Then he took half a step back, his hand going to his back pocket and, looking at no one, he muttered, “I gotta make a call.”
Cue departure, so I moved toward the door. Rhonda was already out of it.
By the time I hit the doorway and turned back to grab the knob, Fin had his phone out. He must have sensed me stopping because his neck twisted and his eyes came to me.
I mouthed, “I love you, Finley.”
Then I closed the door.
Rhonda was hovering in the hall, her eyes caught mine immediately and she whispered, “Did I do all right?”
Was she crazy?
I snatched her in my arms, held her close and whispered in her ear, “Oh, honey. Definitely.”
Her arms moved around me. Mine got tighter around her. Hers got tighter around me. Then I felt her body shaking gently and she shoved her face in my neck. Mine started to do the same and I shoved my face in hers. We held each other for a while and cried silently.
Then I pulled away slightly, releasing her with one hand, wiping at my face with it and I said quietly, “I better get back to the house. Mike just came back when I took off to throw down with Fin. If Fin is gonna get in that door, I’ve got a lot of talking to do.”
She nodded, wiping her face too.
I smiled a small smile at her, gave her a one-armed squeeze then let her go and started walking down the hall.
“Dusty?” she called, I stopped and turned back. “Thank you,” she said softly, hesitated, threw out a fluttering hand and finished, “For everything.”
I took in a breath.
Rhonda was back.
“My pleasure, honey,” I replied softly back. “And thank you.”
Her head tipped to the side as her brows inched together. “For what?”
“For loving my brother the way you do.”
She pressed her lips together.
Before I lost it again, I turned, walked the rest of the way to the stairs, jogged down them and hurried home.
*
Fin was on the blanket he spread out on the grass by the side of the creek at the watering hole. He was on his back, knees cocked, his torso held up on his forearms that were in the blanket behind him.
Reesee was on her back with knees cocked too, her head resting on his gut.
His Ma was right. It flipped him out to see how pissed Mr. Haines was when he hit the backdoor of Reesee’s house but Aunt Dusty, being Aunt Dusty, smoothed the way and even got Mr. Haines to allow Fin actually to go up to Reesee’s bedroom. And it flipped him out even more, once he got there, to see what he’d done to her. It was written all over her face, what he’d done playing games of the heart.
But his Ma was right. He’d fixed it. He just had to tell her why he did what he did and Reesee forgave him right away.
Now it was warm, it was May, the crop was in, it was growing, things had settled down and when school was out he was looking forward to bringing Rees here in her bathing suit.
“I love you, Finley.”
Fin blinked at the creek but he felt his body go stone-still.
Then he whispered, “What?”
She lifted her head off his gut, got up on her forearm in the blanket and her eyes locked right on his. Right on them. Straight up. No hiding.
And he saw it there. What he’d been seeing for a while. What he’d been seeing almost since the beginning.
Then she gave him the words that went with what he saw in her eyes.
“I love you,” she repeated.
God. Jesus, f**k. God.
That felt good.
He braced his weight against one elbow, lifted his hand, cupped her jaw and whispered back, “I love you too, babe.”
She smiled at him and, God, Jesus, f**k, God her smile felt good too.
Then she moved until her hand was flat and warm on his tee over his chest and she whispered, “Please don’t ever do that to me again.”
Not knowing why he did it, his hand moved to her neck then around to the back and he put gentle pressure there. She felt it and moved to him until her lips were on his. He touched them in a soft brush and released the pressure on her neck so she move back an inch.
