Hearts of Blue
Page 86
There was no reasoning with him now. I knew that, and I knew he said he could never hate me, but right then I thought he’d come close.
I didn’t blame him, not one bit. Because it was right for him to hate me. Him hating me was the natural order of things, and he should’ve done since the moment he first laid eyes on me. This was good, I tried to reassure myself. Lee finally seeing the destruction us being together created was beneficial to everyone. I could handle this. Last night I’d said goodbye; I’d mentally prepared myself for the separation.
So why did it feel like my heart was breaking all over again? Inside the strings were snapping with a violent crack, indefinitely severed.
After locking me in his stare for what felt like forever, Lee didn’t breathe a word, just stalked right by me and out the door. Somehow that was worse, his silence. I would have preferred him to shout something terrible, call me a bitch. That way, I could hate him in return, but I didn’t.
And the terrifying thing was that I never would.
***
“Stu got seven years,” Alexis told me a few weeks later as I drove her to the doctor’s for one of her scheduled checkups. “With good behaviour he could be out in two.”
“Who told you this?” I asked, my hands gripping the steering wheel too tight, instantly clammy with sweat.
“I bumped into the Trevor on the high street.”
“Did he say how Lee’s been holding up?” My heart pounded to think of him, knowing he’d have moved on from blaming me and started in on himself.
“He’s angry, drinking too much, a nightmare to live with, according to Trevor,” Alexis answered.
“I can imagine.”
She glanced at me sideways. “He never tried to make contact with you, did he?”
“Not since the day in court,” I answered, unable to disguise the sadness in my voice. A day later, I found my car keys in an envelope slotted through our letterbox. My car sat repaired and good as new outside the building, the final connection between us carefully cut. Sure, no contact was for the best, but it still stung that he never even tried to call, not once.
Alexis reached over and gave my arm a squeeze, empathy in her eyes. “When you grow up like those boys did, around people who’d knife you for so much as looking at them the wrong way, everything in life is either one extreme or the other. And they hold grudges, serious grudges. It’s the only way they know how to operate.”
“You think I don’t know this? I deal with people like that every day.”
“Then why are you acting so heartbroken? Deep down, you expected this. You know you did.”
I heaved a breath. “Yeah, well, I have daddy issues. It’s not surprising that I picked the wrong man to fall in love with,” I joked flatly.
Her hand still rested on my arm, and she gave me another squeeze, her other hand going to her belly. “Why don’t we make a pact to stop loving men who aren’t good for us, and put all our love into the little one who’ll be arriving soon?” Her smile was tender, and I practically squealed.
“You’re having a boy?! When did you find this out?”
“The other week. I was going to keep it a secret, but you know me, can’t keep my big mouth shut for love nor money.”
I was so excited, I almost stopped the car. “So it’s going to be an Oliver after all,” I said, grinning widely, momentarily forgetting my worries. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Alexis returned my grin. “Me neither.”
***
Cheers sounded from inside the station, and I frowned curiously as I walked in to find a crowd of officers circling my dad, all congratulating him and patting him on the back. I stepped up to Keira, who was standing by the reception desk, and asked what was going on.
“Your old man just sent Tommy McGregor away for fifteen years. Got him up on racketeering and money-laundering charges.”
“Seriously?” I asked, shocked.
I knew my dad was determined, but at the back of my mind, I’d almost thought McGregor would be his Chinese Democracy, his one unfinished piece of work. My eyes wandered across the station, where I saw Jennings standing in a doorway, arms folded. Her gaze was fixed on my dad, her expression revealing a begrudging sort of respect. I watched as my dad turned in her direction, caught her watching, and gave her a single nod of acknowledgment. She nodded back, then turned and left the room. It was like she’d silently accepted what he’d done for her without the need to exchange words. They’d never be friends, but the feud between them was finally over.
A strange relief hit me as I realised Lee could’ve been caught the same as McGregor if he hadn’t gotten out when he did. And with the man behind bars, Lee and his family could relax, knowing he wasn’t going to try to come into their lives again. Now I just worried for Stu, because truthfully, I wasn’t sure he’d get out after just two years. Sure, of all the brothers, he was probably the most suited to prison. He was the biggest and least sensitive, and he was certainly tough. I couldn’t see many men being brave enough to try to intimidate him. I just hoped he kept to himself and avoided unnecessary trouble.
***
Months went by, and I started to fall into a regular routine. The more time that passed, the less my heart hurt. My life was a series of work, studying for my sergeant’s exam (yes, Jennings finally decided to approve my application!) and helping Alexis in the final stages of her pregnancy. We planned for either me or her dad to drive her to the hospital, depending on whoever was available.
I didn’t blame him, not one bit. Because it was right for him to hate me. Him hating me was the natural order of things, and he should’ve done since the moment he first laid eyes on me. This was good, I tried to reassure myself. Lee finally seeing the destruction us being together created was beneficial to everyone. I could handle this. Last night I’d said goodbye; I’d mentally prepared myself for the separation.
So why did it feel like my heart was breaking all over again? Inside the strings were snapping with a violent crack, indefinitely severed.
After locking me in his stare for what felt like forever, Lee didn’t breathe a word, just stalked right by me and out the door. Somehow that was worse, his silence. I would have preferred him to shout something terrible, call me a bitch. That way, I could hate him in return, but I didn’t.
And the terrifying thing was that I never would.
***
“Stu got seven years,” Alexis told me a few weeks later as I drove her to the doctor’s for one of her scheduled checkups. “With good behaviour he could be out in two.”
“Who told you this?” I asked, my hands gripping the steering wheel too tight, instantly clammy with sweat.
“I bumped into the Trevor on the high street.”
“Did he say how Lee’s been holding up?” My heart pounded to think of him, knowing he’d have moved on from blaming me and started in on himself.
“He’s angry, drinking too much, a nightmare to live with, according to Trevor,” Alexis answered.
“I can imagine.”
She glanced at me sideways. “He never tried to make contact with you, did he?”
“Not since the day in court,” I answered, unable to disguise the sadness in my voice. A day later, I found my car keys in an envelope slotted through our letterbox. My car sat repaired and good as new outside the building, the final connection between us carefully cut. Sure, no contact was for the best, but it still stung that he never even tried to call, not once.
Alexis reached over and gave my arm a squeeze, empathy in her eyes. “When you grow up like those boys did, around people who’d knife you for so much as looking at them the wrong way, everything in life is either one extreme or the other. And they hold grudges, serious grudges. It’s the only way they know how to operate.”
“You think I don’t know this? I deal with people like that every day.”
“Then why are you acting so heartbroken? Deep down, you expected this. You know you did.”
I heaved a breath. “Yeah, well, I have daddy issues. It’s not surprising that I picked the wrong man to fall in love with,” I joked flatly.
Her hand still rested on my arm, and she gave me another squeeze, her other hand going to her belly. “Why don’t we make a pact to stop loving men who aren’t good for us, and put all our love into the little one who’ll be arriving soon?” Her smile was tender, and I practically squealed.
“You’re having a boy?! When did you find this out?”
“The other week. I was going to keep it a secret, but you know me, can’t keep my big mouth shut for love nor money.”
I was so excited, I almost stopped the car. “So it’s going to be an Oliver after all,” I said, grinning widely, momentarily forgetting my worries. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Alexis returned my grin. “Me neither.”
***
Cheers sounded from inside the station, and I frowned curiously as I walked in to find a crowd of officers circling my dad, all congratulating him and patting him on the back. I stepped up to Keira, who was standing by the reception desk, and asked what was going on.
“Your old man just sent Tommy McGregor away for fifteen years. Got him up on racketeering and money-laundering charges.”
“Seriously?” I asked, shocked.
I knew my dad was determined, but at the back of my mind, I’d almost thought McGregor would be his Chinese Democracy, his one unfinished piece of work. My eyes wandered across the station, where I saw Jennings standing in a doorway, arms folded. Her gaze was fixed on my dad, her expression revealing a begrudging sort of respect. I watched as my dad turned in her direction, caught her watching, and gave her a single nod of acknowledgment. She nodded back, then turned and left the room. It was like she’d silently accepted what he’d done for her without the need to exchange words. They’d never be friends, but the feud between them was finally over.
A strange relief hit me as I realised Lee could’ve been caught the same as McGregor if he hadn’t gotten out when he did. And with the man behind bars, Lee and his family could relax, knowing he wasn’t going to try to come into their lives again. Now I just worried for Stu, because truthfully, I wasn’t sure he’d get out after just two years. Sure, of all the brothers, he was probably the most suited to prison. He was the biggest and least sensitive, and he was certainly tough. I couldn’t see many men being brave enough to try to intimidate him. I just hoped he kept to himself and avoided unnecessary trouble.
***
Months went by, and I started to fall into a regular routine. The more time that passed, the less my heart hurt. My life was a series of work, studying for my sergeant’s exam (yes, Jennings finally decided to approve my application!) and helping Alexis in the final stages of her pregnancy. We planned for either me or her dad to drive her to the hospital, depending on whoever was available.
