Hold Me
Page 53
Patience started toward the cash register. “You know about the bet?”
“Yes. Men are so strange.”
Patience laughed. “They are. Why doesn’t he simply get her pregnant the regular way? With sex? Oh, well. Not my problem. What can I get you?”
“A large latte to go,” Destiny said automatically, even as part of her brain started keening and rocking back and forth.
Get pregnant the regular way? With sex? Like the sex she’d had the previous night? Sex with absolutely zero protection?
She handed over her money and nodded as Patience talked, but Destiny couldn’t do anything but try to keep the spinning world in focus. Her chest was tight, her body cold, and panic began to swallow her whole.
Pregnant? Pregnant? No and no. She couldn’t be. They’d only done it one time, and she’d been a virgin. Didn’t she get a free pass or something? She’d never been all that interested in biology, but surely she’d read something like that.
“Destiny?”
She blinked and saw Patience holding out a to-go cup.
“Sorry. Too many Long Island Iced Teas last night,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m still foggy.”
Patience nodded knowingly. “I’ve been to that particular party myself.” Her eyes widened. “Were you at The Man Cave? Did you sing? I’d love to hear you sing again.”
“Next time,” Destiny said, knowing there wasn’t going to be a next time. Not for the singing or the drinking or the sex. When she got restless, she would take up jogging or go split logs. She knew how to split logs, and that would be a whole lot safer than what she’d done the previous night. The worst that would happen with a misplaced ax was she would chop off her foot.
She called out, “Have a good day,” and hurried toward the exit. She needed to drink her coffee and get her heart rate back to normal.
Pregnant? There was no possible way.
Having reassured herself, she sipped her hot coffee and walked toward her office. The day was pretty, and if she ignored the memories crowding in around her, she would be fine. Better than fine. She would be—
She rounded a corner and ran smack into Kipling. When she started to stagger to the side, he grabbed her by her upper arms and steadied her.
“I was coming to see you,” he said.
I was planning on avoiding you. Not that she said that aloud. Instead she managed what she hoped was a friendly, “Oh.”
They stared at each other.
His hands were still on her arms, and she could feel the heat of his skin, along with the pressure of each individual finger. He had nice hands, she thought idly. Large and capable. He’d had his hands on her body. He’d seen her naked. OMG, the man had seen her naked.
A shrill sound built up inside her, but Destiny forced it down. Calm, she told herself. She was calm. Later, she would look up meditation on the internet and start practicing for sure. Because no matter what, she would not turn into her screaming, plate-throwing, emotionally intense parents. One sexual encounter did not a crazy person make. She was stronger than her DNA, stronger than her hormones, stronger than whatever she needed to be stronger than.
Kipling pulled her toward a bench. She thought about bolting, but knew he would only follow. If they were seen running through town, people would talk, and she really didn’t want the speculation. She sat.
He settled, angled toward her. His blue eyes were dark with worry and concern.
“I’m fine,” she told him, hoping to short-circuit the conversation with reassurances. “Completely and totally fine.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He looked good, she thought absently. Tired, as if he hadn’t slept much the night before. There were shadows under his eyes. But still, there was something about him. The shape of his mouth, maybe. It was nice, and she’d enjoyed kissing him. Those little neck nibbles had given her goose bumps. And when he’d put his big hands on her breasts and licked her nipples, she’d—
Stop it!
She screamed the command in her head. She was a sensible, rational person. Sensible, rational people didn’t think the word nipple at 8:15 in the morning. Ever.
“I didn’t know if I should call you, or come by,” he admitted. “You shocked the hell out of me last night.”
She sipped her coffee. Okay, they weren’t not going talk about what had happened. She could deal. They would discuss it and put it behind them.
“Last night,” she clarified.
“Yeah, last night. We have to talk about it.”
Yes, she’d figured that part out herself. “Because of the sex.”
He stared at her. “It’s more than that, Destiny. You were a virgin. You should have said something.”
“I didn’t know what to say,” she admitted.
“How about, ‘Kipling, this is my first time’?”
“In retrospect, that makes sense,” she admitted, not sure when she would have mentioned the fact. Any sentence with the word virgin in it was going to make things awkward. “I had a lot to drink, and I wasn’t thinking. It all happened so fast.”
He tensed. “About that,” he began, then paused.
She waited.
“I haven’t had a girlfriend in a while. You know...first the accident and then my recovery. I was in the hospital and rehab for months. Then I came here.”
She sipped her coffee. “I think I knew all that.”
He rubbed his face. “I’m talking about my performance. It isn’t usually like that.”
“Yes. Men are so strange.”
Patience laughed. “They are. Why doesn’t he simply get her pregnant the regular way? With sex? Oh, well. Not my problem. What can I get you?”
“A large latte to go,” Destiny said automatically, even as part of her brain started keening and rocking back and forth.
Get pregnant the regular way? With sex? Like the sex she’d had the previous night? Sex with absolutely zero protection?
She handed over her money and nodded as Patience talked, but Destiny couldn’t do anything but try to keep the spinning world in focus. Her chest was tight, her body cold, and panic began to swallow her whole.
Pregnant? Pregnant? No and no. She couldn’t be. They’d only done it one time, and she’d been a virgin. Didn’t she get a free pass or something? She’d never been all that interested in biology, but surely she’d read something like that.
“Destiny?”
She blinked and saw Patience holding out a to-go cup.
“Sorry. Too many Long Island Iced Teas last night,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m still foggy.”
Patience nodded knowingly. “I’ve been to that particular party myself.” Her eyes widened. “Were you at The Man Cave? Did you sing? I’d love to hear you sing again.”
“Next time,” Destiny said, knowing there wasn’t going to be a next time. Not for the singing or the drinking or the sex. When she got restless, she would take up jogging or go split logs. She knew how to split logs, and that would be a whole lot safer than what she’d done the previous night. The worst that would happen with a misplaced ax was she would chop off her foot.
She called out, “Have a good day,” and hurried toward the exit. She needed to drink her coffee and get her heart rate back to normal.
Pregnant? There was no possible way.
Having reassured herself, she sipped her hot coffee and walked toward her office. The day was pretty, and if she ignored the memories crowding in around her, she would be fine. Better than fine. She would be—
She rounded a corner and ran smack into Kipling. When she started to stagger to the side, he grabbed her by her upper arms and steadied her.
“I was coming to see you,” he said.
I was planning on avoiding you. Not that she said that aloud. Instead she managed what she hoped was a friendly, “Oh.”
They stared at each other.
His hands were still on her arms, and she could feel the heat of his skin, along with the pressure of each individual finger. He had nice hands, she thought idly. Large and capable. He’d had his hands on her body. He’d seen her naked. OMG, the man had seen her naked.
A shrill sound built up inside her, but Destiny forced it down. Calm, she told herself. She was calm. Later, she would look up meditation on the internet and start practicing for sure. Because no matter what, she would not turn into her screaming, plate-throwing, emotionally intense parents. One sexual encounter did not a crazy person make. She was stronger than her DNA, stronger than her hormones, stronger than whatever she needed to be stronger than.
Kipling pulled her toward a bench. She thought about bolting, but knew he would only follow. If they were seen running through town, people would talk, and she really didn’t want the speculation. She sat.
He settled, angled toward her. His blue eyes were dark with worry and concern.
“I’m fine,” she told him, hoping to short-circuit the conversation with reassurances. “Completely and totally fine.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He looked good, she thought absently. Tired, as if he hadn’t slept much the night before. There were shadows under his eyes. But still, there was something about him. The shape of his mouth, maybe. It was nice, and she’d enjoyed kissing him. Those little neck nibbles had given her goose bumps. And when he’d put his big hands on her breasts and licked her nipples, she’d—
Stop it!
She screamed the command in her head. She was a sensible, rational person. Sensible, rational people didn’t think the word nipple at 8:15 in the morning. Ever.
“I didn’t know if I should call you, or come by,” he admitted. “You shocked the hell out of me last night.”
She sipped her coffee. Okay, they weren’t not going talk about what had happened. She could deal. They would discuss it and put it behind them.
“Last night,” she clarified.
“Yeah, last night. We have to talk about it.”
Yes, she’d figured that part out herself. “Because of the sex.”
He stared at her. “It’s more than that, Destiny. You were a virgin. You should have said something.”
“I didn’t know what to say,” she admitted.
“How about, ‘Kipling, this is my first time’?”
“In retrospect, that makes sense,” she admitted, not sure when she would have mentioned the fact. Any sentence with the word virgin in it was going to make things awkward. “I had a lot to drink, and I wasn’t thinking. It all happened so fast.”
He tensed. “About that,” he began, then paused.
She waited.
“I haven’t had a girlfriend in a while. You know...first the accident and then my recovery. I was in the hospital and rehab for months. Then I came here.”
She sipped her coffee. “I think I knew all that.”
He rubbed his face. “I’m talking about my performance. It isn’t usually like that.”
