Hold Me
Page 88
When he’d realized there wasn’t a place for guys to hang out, he’d thought of The Man Cave. He’d gotten several business partners together, and they’d hired Nick.
He’d been so sure it was the right thing to do. It fixed a problem. He wanted to say it was the same with Destiny, only it wasn’t. Because she was more important than all the rest of them put together.
He turned away from the park and walked the last couple of blocks to her house. When her door opened and he saw her, his whole body relaxed. Being with her was right.
“Hey,” he said with a smile. “I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“I’m glad you came by.”
She had on cut-off jeans and a T-shirt. Her hair was back in a ponytail, and she was barefoot. Not overtly sexy, but she sure got to him.
He wanted to pull her close and kiss her. He wanted to do other things, too, but mostly he wanted to hold her. They sat on the sofa, facing each other. She looked good, he thought. Maybe a little tired, but all her.
His gaze dropped to the ring on her finger. The simple gold band looked lonely. He wanted to add a nice engagement ring. A sparkly diamond. Sure it was traditional, but he was mostly a traditional kind of guy.
“I’ve missed you,” he told her. “Is everything okay with Starr?”
She nodded. “We’re getting along well. We’re sorting through songs I’ve written. My mom’s manager is going to fly in next week to talk about the music.”
“Good for you. You’re too talented to ignore your abilities. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. I have a gynecologist appointment next week.”
“With Dr. Galloway?” he asked, hoping the answer was no.
“How did you know?”
He shrugged. “I’ve met her.” There was no need to go into the “flowering” conversation with Destiny. “Can I come with you?”
She nodded. “I want you to be as much a part of me being pregnant as you’d like.”
It struck him that everything about this was wrong. They were married. They should be holding each other and heading to the bedroom to make love. Their conversation should be easy and natural—not stilted and informational. This was Destiny—they knew each other. Only right now it felt as if they were strangers.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “You wanted time, so I gave it to you. Should I have pushed harder to talk to you?”
“No. You did the right thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about everything.” She looked at him. “Kipling, I love you.”
His first reaction was to jump up and yell the happy news as loud as he could. Destiny loved him. Destiny, who was kind and funny and sexy and determined. His second thought was that if she loved him, she would need so much more than he had to offer. He’d been unable to protect his own sister from his father’s fists. How could he protect anyone else? Especially Destiny?
“I didn’t expect it, either,” she said wryly. “I had no idea. I’ve tried to be rational and calm in every situation. But that’s not who I am. I don’t have an answer to the nurture-nature question, but what I do know is that I can’t pretend anymore. I can get a little crazy. Maybe I don’t throw plates, but I’m not as rational as you think. I feel things. Deeply. And I’m not going to deny that anymore.”
“I like that you feel things.”
She smiled. “Good. Because we’re having a baby together. We have a lot to work out.”
He reached for her hands. “I want that. I want us to be a family, Destiny. I meant my vows. I’m in this for the long haul.”
Her smile faded. “I believe you because me being pregnant is yet another problem for you to handle.”
The unfair statement had him hanging on tighter. “It’s more than that.”
“I don’t think it is. You don’t love me back. It’s okay. You don’t have to. You like me, and we’re friends, and I’ve seen how you take care of your sister. You’ll be a good dad. Like I said before, I want you to be as much a part of my pregnancy as you want. I won’t shut you out, but I won’t be married to you. Not like this. I don’t need fixing. I need to be loved, and you can’t or won’t.” She squeezed his fingers before releasing them.
“Kipling, I want a divorce.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“YOU OKAY?” CASSIDY ASKED.
No. I’m pregnant, getting a divorce, responsible for my teenage sister and I’m quitting my job in two weeks. Destiny told herself to breathe then smile. The phrase fake it until you make it had never sounded so right.
“I’m fine. Ready to get hiking.”
She and Cassidy were heading out to map the last few areas on the grid. They’d already divided up the map. She figured each of the sections could be completed in less than a day. If everything went well, they would be done by the end of the week.
It was the Saturday of the July Fourth weekend, but neither she nor Cassidy had any reason not to work. Starr was with friends, and Destiny had no desire to sit home alone. Cassidy’s husband was half a world away. Mapping the grid was a perfect solution.
“Radio in every couple of hours,” Cassidy said as she collected her backpack. “I’ll do the same.” She grinned. “It would be humiliating for one of us to get lost.”
“Tell me about it.” Destiny picked up her own gear, and they headed for the door.
He’d been so sure it was the right thing to do. It fixed a problem. He wanted to say it was the same with Destiny, only it wasn’t. Because she was more important than all the rest of them put together.
He turned away from the park and walked the last couple of blocks to her house. When her door opened and he saw her, his whole body relaxed. Being with her was right.
“Hey,” he said with a smile. “I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“I’m glad you came by.”
She had on cut-off jeans and a T-shirt. Her hair was back in a ponytail, and she was barefoot. Not overtly sexy, but she sure got to him.
He wanted to pull her close and kiss her. He wanted to do other things, too, but mostly he wanted to hold her. They sat on the sofa, facing each other. She looked good, he thought. Maybe a little tired, but all her.
His gaze dropped to the ring on her finger. The simple gold band looked lonely. He wanted to add a nice engagement ring. A sparkly diamond. Sure it was traditional, but he was mostly a traditional kind of guy.
“I’ve missed you,” he told her. “Is everything okay with Starr?”
She nodded. “We’re getting along well. We’re sorting through songs I’ve written. My mom’s manager is going to fly in next week to talk about the music.”
“Good for you. You’re too talented to ignore your abilities. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. I have a gynecologist appointment next week.”
“With Dr. Galloway?” he asked, hoping the answer was no.
“How did you know?”
He shrugged. “I’ve met her.” There was no need to go into the “flowering” conversation with Destiny. “Can I come with you?”
She nodded. “I want you to be as much a part of me being pregnant as you’d like.”
It struck him that everything about this was wrong. They were married. They should be holding each other and heading to the bedroom to make love. Their conversation should be easy and natural—not stilted and informational. This was Destiny—they knew each other. Only right now it felt as if they were strangers.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “You wanted time, so I gave it to you. Should I have pushed harder to talk to you?”
“No. You did the right thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about everything.” She looked at him. “Kipling, I love you.”
His first reaction was to jump up and yell the happy news as loud as he could. Destiny loved him. Destiny, who was kind and funny and sexy and determined. His second thought was that if she loved him, she would need so much more than he had to offer. He’d been unable to protect his own sister from his father’s fists. How could he protect anyone else? Especially Destiny?
“I didn’t expect it, either,” she said wryly. “I had no idea. I’ve tried to be rational and calm in every situation. But that’s not who I am. I don’t have an answer to the nurture-nature question, but what I do know is that I can’t pretend anymore. I can get a little crazy. Maybe I don’t throw plates, but I’m not as rational as you think. I feel things. Deeply. And I’m not going to deny that anymore.”
“I like that you feel things.”
She smiled. “Good. Because we’re having a baby together. We have a lot to work out.”
He reached for her hands. “I want that. I want us to be a family, Destiny. I meant my vows. I’m in this for the long haul.”
Her smile faded. “I believe you because me being pregnant is yet another problem for you to handle.”
The unfair statement had him hanging on tighter. “It’s more than that.”
“I don’t think it is. You don’t love me back. It’s okay. You don’t have to. You like me, and we’re friends, and I’ve seen how you take care of your sister. You’ll be a good dad. Like I said before, I want you to be as much a part of my pregnancy as you want. I won’t shut you out, but I won’t be married to you. Not like this. I don’t need fixing. I need to be loved, and you can’t or won’t.” She squeezed his fingers before releasing them.
“Kipling, I want a divorce.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“YOU OKAY?” CASSIDY ASKED.
No. I’m pregnant, getting a divorce, responsible for my teenage sister and I’m quitting my job in two weeks. Destiny told herself to breathe then smile. The phrase fake it until you make it had never sounded so right.
“I’m fine. Ready to get hiking.”
She and Cassidy were heading out to map the last few areas on the grid. They’d already divided up the map. She figured each of the sections could be completed in less than a day. If everything went well, they would be done by the end of the week.
It was the Saturday of the July Fourth weekend, but neither she nor Cassidy had any reason not to work. Starr was with friends, and Destiny had no desire to sit home alone. Cassidy’s husband was half a world away. Mapping the grid was a perfect solution.
“Radio in every couple of hours,” Cassidy said as she collected her backpack. “I’ll do the same.” She grinned. “It would be humiliating for one of us to get lost.”
“Tell me about it.” Destiny picked up her own gear, and they headed for the door.
