Hold on Tight
Page 24
Sienna’s eyes misted over as she looked up at me briefly, then over at my dad, and she smiled. “I sent letters,” she said, feeling the need to defend herself.
Momma nodded and pulled back. “I believe you did. But I didn’t get them. I think you might want to give that aunt of yours a call. That’s the only explanation I got. But those letters never made it to me.”
Sienna nodded. “Okay. I, uh . . . I need time with Micah. When he’s ready, we’ll come over for a visit. He enjoyed his last visit over there. He’s a fan of cookies,” she said, smiling so sweetly.
My mother had always loved Sienna Roy, and she’d encouraged Dustin’s relationship with her, but right now I realized that the love she’d had for Sienna just multiplied by a thousand because Sienna had brought Dustin’s child into the world. She’d given my momma a part of her son back.
Which was something I’d never been able to do.
Dad finally spoke up, tugging on my mother’s arm. “Let’s go back over to the house and let them talk.” She nodded, but she looked longingly at the door to the house, knowing her grandson was in there.
“Our door is always open, Sienna,” my dad told her.
She sniffed and smiled. “Thank you.” The look on her face told me just how alone she had been all this time. I wanted to strangle her father. It was a shame I wouldn’t get the chance. How the f**k had he done this to her?
My parents walked down the stairs and I waited. I wanted to say something to her, but I wasn’t sure what. Explaining my “average” comment would sound insincere now.
“I’ll bring him over when he’s ready,” she told me, then opened the door and stepped inside before I could say anything else.
“Come on, son. Let them alone,” my father called after me.
Frustrated as hell, I turned and followed my parents home.
When we got to the house, my mother looked back at me and frowned. “I don’t know what you think is attractive, but apparently Dustin was the only one with good taste in females. That girl is a beauty. Even just out of bed she is breathtaking. Nothing fake about her. She’s the real thing. She’ll make a man a good wife one day. Shame you can’t see what a jewel she is.” Then she turned and walked inside.
Dad chuckled and I looked over at him. “What?” I snapped.
He only laughed harder. “Reckon that ‘average’ comment was about the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. I may be an old man, but I ain’t blind. Hell, boy, she’s a looker. She left average a long time ago. But then, you know that. Be careful what you say, because your momma will make sure the world knows.”
He continued to laugh as he went inside.
I glanced back at her house and remembered the young girl who used to run across the street in bare feet and a pair of cutoff jeans and a shirt tied up above her belly button. All that red hair flying, and her smile big and bright. Dustin would meet her out front, and she’d fling herself into his arms and he would swing her around.
I think it was about the time she had turned sixteen that I decided staying away from her was really f**king important. Because I had watched her run into my brother’s arms, and I’d been jealous. The emotion had startled me and taken me a moment to understand. I’d never been jealous before or after. Because I had known in that moment that I’d somehow lost a part of my soul to a girl who would never be mine.
I spent the next seven years proving just how much I didn’t need love. I just needed pu**y, and I could get it easy. I had f**ked Sienna Roy out of my system with each redhead who wasn’t her. With each girl I bedded, I’d felt further and further away from any emotion.
When Sienna had left, she’d taken a piece of me with her. I had suffered, and I was so trashed for months that I couldn’t even remember half the shit I did. I had wanted her, and she had been my brother’s. She had also been too damn young.
I was a f**kup and would never be good enough for the likes of her. My brother was what she’d deserved. Someone like him was still what she deserved. Not me. Never me. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a golden boy. I couldn’t make her happy. But I’d be damned if I let anything hurt her again. I could protect her. And Micah. They weren’t mine, but in my heart they were.
SIENNA
“What if I told you that Dewayne was your daddy’s older brother? Would you like having Dewayne as an uncle?”
Micah went very still in my arms, and his frown grew. This was not how I wanted to do this with him. I was hoping to watch Star Wars with him and have that as a happy distraction. But after our morning visitors I knew this had to be done now. I wanted him to have Tabby and Dave Falco in his life, and from what I had just seen, they did too. It was time Micah had grandparents to dote on him.
“Dewayne is my daddy’s brother? But . . . he didn’t tell me that.”
This was the tricky part. Micah was five, but our life had made him grow up fast. Emotionally, he was a lot older than he should’ve had to be.
“Dewayne didn’t know about you until the other day, when you thought he made me cry. I had thought he knew. I’d sent letters, but they never got them.”
“Who’s they?” Micah asked.
“Dewayne’s parents. Your daddy’s parents. Your grandparents.”
Micah’s eyes went wide with wonder. “Mama T and Dave are my grandparents?”
I nodded. “And they want to know you very much. They loved your daddy a whole bunch. And they want to know his son. That’s why they came over this morning. They’re very excited to know you’re their grandson.”
Momma nodded and pulled back. “I believe you did. But I didn’t get them. I think you might want to give that aunt of yours a call. That’s the only explanation I got. But those letters never made it to me.”
Sienna nodded. “Okay. I, uh . . . I need time with Micah. When he’s ready, we’ll come over for a visit. He enjoyed his last visit over there. He’s a fan of cookies,” she said, smiling so sweetly.
My mother had always loved Sienna Roy, and she’d encouraged Dustin’s relationship with her, but right now I realized that the love she’d had for Sienna just multiplied by a thousand because Sienna had brought Dustin’s child into the world. She’d given my momma a part of her son back.
Which was something I’d never been able to do.
Dad finally spoke up, tugging on my mother’s arm. “Let’s go back over to the house and let them talk.” She nodded, but she looked longingly at the door to the house, knowing her grandson was in there.
“Our door is always open, Sienna,” my dad told her.
She sniffed and smiled. “Thank you.” The look on her face told me just how alone she had been all this time. I wanted to strangle her father. It was a shame I wouldn’t get the chance. How the f**k had he done this to her?
My parents walked down the stairs and I waited. I wanted to say something to her, but I wasn’t sure what. Explaining my “average” comment would sound insincere now.
“I’ll bring him over when he’s ready,” she told me, then opened the door and stepped inside before I could say anything else.
“Come on, son. Let them alone,” my father called after me.
Frustrated as hell, I turned and followed my parents home.
When we got to the house, my mother looked back at me and frowned. “I don’t know what you think is attractive, but apparently Dustin was the only one with good taste in females. That girl is a beauty. Even just out of bed she is breathtaking. Nothing fake about her. She’s the real thing. She’ll make a man a good wife one day. Shame you can’t see what a jewel she is.” Then she turned and walked inside.
Dad chuckled and I looked over at him. “What?” I snapped.
He only laughed harder. “Reckon that ‘average’ comment was about the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. I may be an old man, but I ain’t blind. Hell, boy, she’s a looker. She left average a long time ago. But then, you know that. Be careful what you say, because your momma will make sure the world knows.”
He continued to laugh as he went inside.
I glanced back at her house and remembered the young girl who used to run across the street in bare feet and a pair of cutoff jeans and a shirt tied up above her belly button. All that red hair flying, and her smile big and bright. Dustin would meet her out front, and she’d fling herself into his arms and he would swing her around.
I think it was about the time she had turned sixteen that I decided staying away from her was really f**king important. Because I had watched her run into my brother’s arms, and I’d been jealous. The emotion had startled me and taken me a moment to understand. I’d never been jealous before or after. Because I had known in that moment that I’d somehow lost a part of my soul to a girl who would never be mine.
I spent the next seven years proving just how much I didn’t need love. I just needed pu**y, and I could get it easy. I had f**ked Sienna Roy out of my system with each redhead who wasn’t her. With each girl I bedded, I’d felt further and further away from any emotion.
When Sienna had left, she’d taken a piece of me with her. I had suffered, and I was so trashed for months that I couldn’t even remember half the shit I did. I had wanted her, and she had been my brother’s. She had also been too damn young.
I was a f**kup and would never be good enough for the likes of her. My brother was what she’d deserved. Someone like him was still what she deserved. Not me. Never me. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a golden boy. I couldn’t make her happy. But I’d be damned if I let anything hurt her again. I could protect her. And Micah. They weren’t mine, but in my heart they were.
SIENNA
“What if I told you that Dewayne was your daddy’s older brother? Would you like having Dewayne as an uncle?”
Micah went very still in my arms, and his frown grew. This was not how I wanted to do this with him. I was hoping to watch Star Wars with him and have that as a happy distraction. But after our morning visitors I knew this had to be done now. I wanted him to have Tabby and Dave Falco in his life, and from what I had just seen, they did too. It was time Micah had grandparents to dote on him.
“Dewayne is my daddy’s brother? But . . . he didn’t tell me that.”
This was the tricky part. Micah was five, but our life had made him grow up fast. Emotionally, he was a lot older than he should’ve had to be.
“Dewayne didn’t know about you until the other day, when you thought he made me cry. I had thought he knew. I’d sent letters, but they never got them.”
“Who’s they?” Micah asked.
“Dewayne’s parents. Your daddy’s parents. Your grandparents.”
Micah’s eyes went wide with wonder. “Mama T and Dave are my grandparents?”
I nodded. “And they want to know you very much. They loved your daddy a whole bunch. And they want to know his son. That’s why they came over this morning. They’re very excited to know you’re their grandson.”
