Holy Smokes
Page 67
The two female demons eeped as they saw Bael, and disappeared in puffs of thick, black smoke.
Traci cleared its throat and hurriedly buttoned its shirt before bowing to me. “My lord, you summoned me?”
“Yes. Do you have my sacrifices for Bael?”
Traci’s face fell. “Well…as to that, my lord…er…”
Drake leaned toward me. “What sacrifice is this?”
“Bael has demanded I pay homage to him,” I answered in a whisper before saying in a louder voice, “I’m sure Bael is a busy man. Go get the sacrifices, and we’ll get this over with.”
“You are to pay homage to the premiere prince of Hell?” Kostya asked, moving over so he stood directly behind me. Pál and István followed suit, with Jim leaning against my knees. “You cannot do that! Did you not swear fealty to the green dragons?”
Traci bowed a couple of times to Bael as it hurried over and joined the group. I had a horrible suspicion we presented the appearance of a particularly off-kilter football huddle.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve been all over that, but it’s not a big deal because I’m not really going to do an homage. Traci, where are the sacrifices?”
“I didn’t get them,” the demon answered miserably.
“What?” I poked my head up and smiled at Bael, who was watching us with an indescribably awful expression of mounting anger. “Sorry. Can we have a quick time-out? Just a few things I need to straighten out about the sacrifices.”
Bael’s resulting roar of fury shook the house.
“Where the hell are the sacrifices?” I asked Traci, grabbing the demon’s sleeves and shaking it.
“Abad—” Jim started to say, but stopped when I let loose with a little frustrated scream.
“I couldn’t get them; the people at the farm threw me out after I said I wanted to euthanize them.”
I closed my eyes in horror. “Oh, crap.”
Drake’s voice pierced the miasma of regret that swamped me. “Aisling, tell me you were not planning on making the sacrifice I think you were planning on making.”
I nodded, opening my eyes again. “I thought it was a really good plan. Traci got the stuff from a vet and it would have been just perfect if only those stupid chicken-farm people would have cooperated.”
“I have had enough of this farce!” Bael bellowed, his hands fisted as he strode toward me.
Instantly, the football huddle turned into a wall of dragons that stood between me and Bael.
“You will present the sacrifices to me now, before I lose my patience and banish you as you deserve!”
“Traci?”
“I’m sorry, lord,” it answered, spreading its hands wide.
“Go get the sacrifices,” I said in a loud voice, leaning in to add an additional instruction.
Traci looked horrified for a moment before its form disappeared. I smiled over Drake’s shoulder. “It’ll be just a minute—oh, there it is. You get points for speediness, Traci.”
The demon thrust two bags at me. I waved it toward Bael.
“Banish me if you must,” Traci said, shoving the bags in my hands. “But I cannot do this.”
“Aisling Grey, I have lost all patience with—”
I snatched the bags and ran forward, dumping the contents on the table that sat next to where Bael loomed. “Sorry! Here they are. My sacrifices to pay homage to you.”
Bael stared in complete shock at the six items as I arranged them in an attractive presentation.
“There was a slight mix-up in the original sacrifices, but these are just as good,” I said, licking one sticky finger. “Better, actually. As you can see, two of the roast chickens are teriyaki, three are some sort of a lemongrass rub, and the last one looks like whisky barbecue.”
There was a moment of complete silence before Bael’s roar threw me back three feet, luckily straight into Drake.
“You dare!” Bael screamed, his face twisted with fury.
“There’s no dare about it,” I answered, allowing Drake to wrap his arms around me.
“Mate—” he whispered into my ear.
“I’m OK,” I told him quietly. “I know what I’m doing.”
“If it gets out of hand, I will have no choice but to take charge,” he warned me.
I nodded, my eyes still on Bael. “According to the Doctrine of Unending Conscious, I must present you with six sacrifices. Nothing was said about what form those sacrifices must take. My offering is as you see—six chickens, sacrificed, seasoned, and roasted to perfection in your name.”
Bael’s face turned bright red. I thought for a moment that he was going to explode right there in front of us. Evidently Drake thought so as well because his arms tightened around me. “Aisling—”
“It’s OK,” I whispered, raising my voice in what I prayed was a confident tone. “By the laws that govern Abaddon, I have met the terms of your demands.”
Bael hissed as he visibly struggled to regain control, but after a few seconds of a really close call, his color cleared up and he stopped clenching his fists.
“You have mocked everything I represent from the first moment you became a demon lord. Do you think your pathetically transparent attempts to incite an expulsion have fooled me? Do you think I would release one I worked so hard to bring into my power?”
We were on dangerous ground here. I sent up another prayer that Traci’s research into the Doctrine was as thorough as it claimed it was. “I will never be what you want me to be, Bael. I will never again use the dark power. You may be able to force me to remain a prince, but I will fight you every step of the way. I will do everything I can to undermine your power and influence over the other demon lords. I will continue to fight the good fight, and I will never, ever, stop trying to get away.”
“Aisling.” Drake breathed a warning into my ear. “Even I would not speak thusly to Bael.”
“Give me one reason, one singular reason why I should not banish you to the Akasha at this very moment,” Bael said, walking slowly toward us. The dragons tightened ranks. Jim leaped to its feet and valiantly bared its teeth, even though it knew it wouldn’t stand a chance against the premiere prince of Abaddon.
I lifted my chin and tried mightily to meet Bael’s gaze, but I couldn’t quite do it. I stared at his ear, instead. “Because you can’t do that without having a revolution on your hands.”
Traci cleared its throat and hurriedly buttoned its shirt before bowing to me. “My lord, you summoned me?”
“Yes. Do you have my sacrifices for Bael?”
Traci’s face fell. “Well…as to that, my lord…er…”
Drake leaned toward me. “What sacrifice is this?”
“Bael has demanded I pay homage to him,” I answered in a whisper before saying in a louder voice, “I’m sure Bael is a busy man. Go get the sacrifices, and we’ll get this over with.”
“You are to pay homage to the premiere prince of Hell?” Kostya asked, moving over so he stood directly behind me. Pál and István followed suit, with Jim leaning against my knees. “You cannot do that! Did you not swear fealty to the green dragons?”
Traci bowed a couple of times to Bael as it hurried over and joined the group. I had a horrible suspicion we presented the appearance of a particularly off-kilter football huddle.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve been all over that, but it’s not a big deal because I’m not really going to do an homage. Traci, where are the sacrifices?”
“I didn’t get them,” the demon answered miserably.
“What?” I poked my head up and smiled at Bael, who was watching us with an indescribably awful expression of mounting anger. “Sorry. Can we have a quick time-out? Just a few things I need to straighten out about the sacrifices.”
Bael’s resulting roar of fury shook the house.
“Where the hell are the sacrifices?” I asked Traci, grabbing the demon’s sleeves and shaking it.
“Abad—” Jim started to say, but stopped when I let loose with a little frustrated scream.
“I couldn’t get them; the people at the farm threw me out after I said I wanted to euthanize them.”
I closed my eyes in horror. “Oh, crap.”
Drake’s voice pierced the miasma of regret that swamped me. “Aisling, tell me you were not planning on making the sacrifice I think you were planning on making.”
I nodded, opening my eyes again. “I thought it was a really good plan. Traci got the stuff from a vet and it would have been just perfect if only those stupid chicken-farm people would have cooperated.”
“I have had enough of this farce!” Bael bellowed, his hands fisted as he strode toward me.
Instantly, the football huddle turned into a wall of dragons that stood between me and Bael.
“You will present the sacrifices to me now, before I lose my patience and banish you as you deserve!”
“Traci?”
“I’m sorry, lord,” it answered, spreading its hands wide.
“Go get the sacrifices,” I said in a loud voice, leaning in to add an additional instruction.
Traci looked horrified for a moment before its form disappeared. I smiled over Drake’s shoulder. “It’ll be just a minute—oh, there it is. You get points for speediness, Traci.”
The demon thrust two bags at me. I waved it toward Bael.
“Banish me if you must,” Traci said, shoving the bags in my hands. “But I cannot do this.”
“Aisling Grey, I have lost all patience with—”
I snatched the bags and ran forward, dumping the contents on the table that sat next to where Bael loomed. “Sorry! Here they are. My sacrifices to pay homage to you.”
Bael stared in complete shock at the six items as I arranged them in an attractive presentation.
“There was a slight mix-up in the original sacrifices, but these are just as good,” I said, licking one sticky finger. “Better, actually. As you can see, two of the roast chickens are teriyaki, three are some sort of a lemongrass rub, and the last one looks like whisky barbecue.”
There was a moment of complete silence before Bael’s roar threw me back three feet, luckily straight into Drake.
“You dare!” Bael screamed, his face twisted with fury.
“There’s no dare about it,” I answered, allowing Drake to wrap his arms around me.
“Mate—” he whispered into my ear.
“I’m OK,” I told him quietly. “I know what I’m doing.”
“If it gets out of hand, I will have no choice but to take charge,” he warned me.
I nodded, my eyes still on Bael. “According to the Doctrine of Unending Conscious, I must present you with six sacrifices. Nothing was said about what form those sacrifices must take. My offering is as you see—six chickens, sacrificed, seasoned, and roasted to perfection in your name.”
Bael’s face turned bright red. I thought for a moment that he was going to explode right there in front of us. Evidently Drake thought so as well because his arms tightened around me. “Aisling—”
“It’s OK,” I whispered, raising my voice in what I prayed was a confident tone. “By the laws that govern Abaddon, I have met the terms of your demands.”
Bael hissed as he visibly struggled to regain control, but after a few seconds of a really close call, his color cleared up and he stopped clenching his fists.
“You have mocked everything I represent from the first moment you became a demon lord. Do you think your pathetically transparent attempts to incite an expulsion have fooled me? Do you think I would release one I worked so hard to bring into my power?”
We were on dangerous ground here. I sent up another prayer that Traci’s research into the Doctrine was as thorough as it claimed it was. “I will never be what you want me to be, Bael. I will never again use the dark power. You may be able to force me to remain a prince, but I will fight you every step of the way. I will do everything I can to undermine your power and influence over the other demon lords. I will continue to fight the good fight, and I will never, ever, stop trying to get away.”
“Aisling.” Drake breathed a warning into my ear. “Even I would not speak thusly to Bael.”
“Give me one reason, one singular reason why I should not banish you to the Akasha at this very moment,” Bael said, walking slowly toward us. The dragons tightened ranks. Jim leaped to its feet and valiantly bared its teeth, even though it knew it wouldn’t stand a chance against the premiere prince of Abaddon.
I lifted my chin and tried mightily to meet Bael’s gaze, but I couldn’t quite do it. I stared at his ear, instead. “Because you can’t do that without having a revolution on your hands.”
